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My thoughts... Regarding my scout son who is also special needs, I am always his Dad first. If he called me and described such events, I would have arrived with the police. After returning him home, I would have called my son's clinical therapist. I would focus on helping my son. If the SPL would do this to the Scoutmaster's son while the PLC watched in amusement, then they have no respect for that Scoutmaster. Still I would notify the COR , CC, and other ASM's and let them handle the matter from the Charter Organization and BSA standpoint. my $0.02 p.s. very sorry to he

From going back and reading your first post and the other posts that have been made on this subject here would be my advise and the reason for the advise. As Scoutmaster you were aware of the bulling and mistreatment going own within the scouts in your troop. You addressed the issue with the scouts since becoming Scoutmaster. The behavior did not change with this group of scouts. Therefor actions have to take place within the unit. On top of this being and issue of bulling it went entirely to another level of sexual assault just due to the fact that the SPL used the "tea bag him". No

Make sure any milestone anniversaries fall at the same time as a High Adventure trip, that's a real crowd pleaser....

You are a mandatory reporter. This crossed the line. If you are unsure whether it crossed the line, you need to report it and let someone else decide. That's the whole idea of mandatory reporter. Also, hesitation to report (for many different reasons) is often the reason previous abuse persisted for so long. You need to submit a report on this.

You have an obligation to contact your de and or council. As a Scoutmaster and parent you need their support and guidance through this issue. As a parent your son needs to know that you will be there to protect him whatever the situation or personal cost.

It is a parental issue as well. If I found out my son was in his underwear and threatening to teabag another person, I think any Scout organization punishment would seem trivial. I'd be almost as mad if I found out my son didn't try to defuse the situation.

You should bring it to the DE or SE in the council or talk to your COR or even IH. Let them be the bad guy.

@Bside call your council’s Scout Executive. This is a significant issue and the ASM and CC should not address this alone. The chartering organization rep needs to know about this too.

There is a large number of adults who are searching for some kind of recognition of importance in their lives and find it in volunteer organizations because prerequisite education or experience isn't required for a respected position. You think it's bad in scouting, go check out church committees. Some scout professionals will quietly admit that these volunteers cause more harm to the program than good. I have watched district committees brought down to their knees from these adults. I believe the WB course naturally attracts these sort of adults and are part of the reasons for the problems di

Maybe where you live. Where I live abandoning the NRA will have the same effect. It would be just one more step in turning the BSA from a national program into a big blue bubble suburban day care program.

I hate the idea of reporting a kid to council, but as with everything else, there is a "line" where conduct is no longer in a grey area. The actions of the SPL cross the line. I am not sure about the Scouts who watched and encouraged, but the perpetrator definitely crossed the line. He has also committed what would be (in my state) a serious juvenile offense, which would be a fourth-degree crime (the lowest level, but still a crime) if he were an adult. The crime of "criminal sexual contact" is defined, (again, in New Jersey) as an “intentional touching by the victim or actor, either direc

Wish us luck. Today is COH - the first time my son has been allowed back since the incident. SM has successfully ignored every single e-mail I have sent over the last month. I'm pretty frustrated with that. I will speak to him tonight I guess.......

This was a border line call to the police to report the SPL. The only reason I wouldn’t was that it was a single occurrence and his underwear was on. Given that, I think a call to your SE is appropriate. It was a group of scouts... yes non scouting... but it doesn’t lessen the impact of the action. The council can decide if the SPL should be dismissed. If you don’t report it and this gets out... I think some may question your Troop’s leadership. If the SPL does this again and then the council hears you had an earlier issue you didn’t report... your scouting membership could be at risk.

The main problem is too many scouters are overweight. In the last few months I dropped 40 pounds of weight, I went from 239 to 199 pounds, I did so just so I can run up the hills with the boys and make back packing a piece of cake. I feel amazing. "Body-mass index (BMI) data collected from applicants for the 2010 National Scout Jamboree show that 41 percent of the youth were overweight or obese; among the adults, a staggering 77.5 percent were overweight, obese, or morbidly obese. But Scouting is determined to raise the bar by encouraging responsibility."

I'm not a SM, but I've been an ASM for a while now. My only advice is to build up your ASM team, develop them. And figure out which ones would be your substitute SM when you cannot make an event. There are some things in your marriage or the lives of your family that are more important than a Scout trip or outing, so build up the team that will help you achieve that. The current SM and Committee Chair can help you get that process going. Best of luck to you!

My opinion: this WAS a sexual assault and YP issue. I would at least cover your own behind and make a mandatory report to your Scout Executive. Let him/her advise you as to your response. The fact that it was not a sanctioned Scout activity may or may not be relevant. At a minimum, I would remove the SPL from office permanently. The SE may remove his membership.

I think "physically strong" is directly linked to "do your best." I'll re-share my favorite example of a scouter who was physically strong. I was a Tenderfoot. One of my SMs in AZ was a WWII vet. He lost a lung in battle (we learned this from his wife). Never talked about the circumstances. Never talked about his condition, or the war, ever. Never complained. Mr. P was elderly. He couldn't walk very fast. But he never missed an outing. Slept on the ground in a sleeping bag, in a canvas tent, every camp out. Even during those bone-chilling winter nights in the desert.

When I take groups on day hikes or backpacking, if their preparedness is unknown I start with some 'creampuffs' and then progress toward the real deal. I confess that I was greatly heartened a couple of years ago when I overheard one of the hikers on the phone to mom, "Mom, I just got my ass kicked by a 67-year-old heart patient". Right on! They did just fine after that.

Welcome to scouter.com! It sounds like you've got two issues here. The first is that, in Scouting, we use constructive discipline. Our aim is to mold young men, which is difficult if we kick them out at the first sign of trouble. On the other hand, the Scouts' safety comes first, and it sounds like the SPL was acting un-Scoutlike in a way that was endangering another Scout. There have to be direct, proportionate consequences for that action. Given the severity of the breach of the Scout Law, I think an immediate counseling with the SPL and his parents is warranted, probably followed by a

Some things you can't hand over. You need to submit the paperwork. It's slightly embarrassing to say you handed it over and then submit paperwork, but it's never too late to do the right thing. Just say you read more on the rules and you needed to report.

Yes, the beads are earned through the ticket, which is 5 volunteer projects for Scouting. Last night I was feeling like I might give up and not finish my ticket, but here are my items 1) help teach BALOO (I have twice). 2) make a new Cub scout welcome kit for our Pack, 3) run a Traffic Safety merit badge clinic for council 4) research and write a presentation about ADHD and Scouting for our district and 5) write an article about ADHD and scouting for publication. I chose fairly challenging ticket items. and it will add up to many hours of work for the council.

I think partnering with the NRA for shooting sports is fine thing to do. BSA partners with the leaders in each field US Archery, PADI, Red Cross,... The partnership should begin and end with the domain that they are experts in. I don't think there is a better replacement for firearm safety training currently. IMHO, people need to not mix politics or religions with scouts. Scouts should be a safe place for the youth.

#1 Bad behavior is hard to change. You can teach skills. You can help install habits. You can challenge scouts with hard situations that make them grow. But bad behavior is much more difficult. You can make it be less visible when adults are around, but it will come out again when adults are not around. From my experience, swearing, bullying and abuse stop when the scouts leave and a new culture is created. #2 Bad behavior is infectious. It's like a threshold. Once it's crossed, it's not an absolute no. Then, others cross it too. #3 You are the leader and you can't alw

I really think this is the key protest I have. Yes, it's the longest course. It's the most planned out and structured course. But it's hardly a "pinnacle" of anything. In scouting, IMHO, the pinnacle of training is years of experience and lots and lots and lots of reflection and discussion with other scouters.

I’ve heard this before, so I looked it up. The NRA Foundation gave the BSA and councils $4 million from 2010 to 2016, according to the Associated Press’s examination of its public tax records. That’s about $666,000 a year. The BSA took in $228 million in the last year for which its tax reports are available (just National, not local councils). Speaking roughly, therefore, we can conclude that the NRA’s support makes up 0.29 percent of the BSA’s total annual revenues. (And when we include council revenues, that percentage will dive even further.) What that means: The NRA’s famed largesse c

Parent first. do what is necessary to protect your kid. And based on what I have read this PLC/SPL is cabal of future kavanaughs. You may be the SM but I wouldn't take that as a suicide pact for your family. I wouldn't waste a lot of time worrying about how best to make sure these boys learn and grow--that can be their parent's (and someday probably state appointed counselors) job. And if they care the CC/DE/COR. There is a rot if the SPL would do this and no one on the PLC would stop it and, in fact, just laughed. Not going to be surprised when the parents of these little angels claim

That may be folks at your local council. I took NRA Rifle Instructor training and didn't get anything close to that amount of advertising materials. It was straightforward apolitical training.

My I suggest the CC because the BSA says they are to deal with discipline at this level. Barry

Eagledad, you really didn't state on the bottom of you post it is the adults' fault? Holy moly has the actions of the individual and group been deflected from the abusers to the SM. There is no easy way to handle this situation. One way I consider the impact of this act is the impact on the victim. Regardless of the way the victim is equipped, the act is one none of us would just accept, or have a spouse treated that way by the group. If the group is 12-13yrs and they get to decide their corrective actions, will they do it because the adults say so, or because they really see the impact o

@EagleForever, welcome to the forums. If it's any consolation, when I came back with Son #1 there were these kids in Exploring shirts calling themselves venturers!

If anyone else finds themselves in this kind of situation... This is first a problem to handle as a parent. Have you done all the things you would have done if these boys were not scouts and you were not their SM? Only after that should any action be taken in regard to the Troop. This is definitely a matter to bring in your CC/COR and SE in on. Not only because you are the Scoutmaster in this situation, but also because this is pretty serious stuff. "Boys will be boys" doesn't apply here. Here are things to be careful of, IMHO... Be careful of holding the entire group at fau

All of the above, plus the SMs spouse should be held in very high esteem.

Which one of these District level scouters do you want your child to emulate?

I agree with @Sentinel947. I've been a CC for about 5 years and watched the SM role closely. Here's take: 1) Your family always takes priority. 2) As Scoutmaster, you set the tone for the troop & the ASMs. The tone and your direction is significantly more important than whether your on every trip and at every event. 3) If you don't create space for others, they will never fill it. In other words, if you do it all - then the opportunity is not there for others to step up. 3) Failure is OK. You're job is bigger than an event or a camping trip. It's ok to let thi

Handle this sooner than later. Confront the PLc as a group. I held the whole group equally accountable and demanded (in a calm quiet firm voice) they make a list of actions to hold them accountable to be presented to me for discussion, recommendations, and approval. THEN I will talk with their parents about the whole situation. As for the SPL, I demanded he set up a meeting within the next 2 days with himself, his parents, the CC, and me. He must set up the meeting. He would be advised to recommend his own actions of accountability for discussion, recommendations and approval. This i

Makes no difference. A Scout should not be threatening to sexually assault a younger, weaker person regardless of this being a "non scouting" event. It's not scoutlike behavior, and honestly, every boy involved in this attempted sexual assault should be punished by the troop. If it was found they did this kind of stuff to a non-scout, I would feel the same.

Welcome to the forum @Bside. Sorry it has to be under such circumstances. I would not have the SPL talk in front of the troop. In fact, I'm not sure I'd start with a list of punishments. The real issue is whether the scouts understand they did something (many things) wrong and not just that they got caught. For any scout that just thinks he got caught I'd fire him. But I would give him a chance to figure that out. I'd start with sitting down with all the scouts that were there except for the one scout that took the brunt of the bad character. I'd start by reviewing exactly what happe

I agree 100%. The SPL was threatening to sexually assault the younger boy. I thought the 3 month suspension was too light, and I agree totally that another similar act should be dismissal. The rest of the PLC should be punished as well, as they either participated or didn't stop it.

3 months? That's it? To me, that's very light for something very vulgar and un-Scoutlike. And... "a similar act of poor Scout Spirit" -- just no. There should be no more similar acts. A similar act, from my point of view would be dismissal from the Troop. Are you going to discuss this act of sexual bullying and youth-on-youth abuse with your Scout Executive? I think you need to.

Well, I should have reported this after taking the mile hike to my morning coffee shop, but I slept in, and it was more a twenty yard dash to the bus instead. From the school of hard knocks: You don't want to find out on a 14 mile trek that you are only good for 8. You don't want some young aquatics director busting your chops because your rescue sprint is a half-second too slow. Physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight ... none of them get any easier as you age. But our youth need us to put forth your best effort. And not just the kids, I've seen a fell

Absolutely. My comment here has some bolding for emphasis and clarity. As a lot of Wood Badgers in my area like to say "Feedback is a gift." I've actually really enjoyed this thread, because it gives me things to look for in my own Councils' NYLT and Wood Badge programs. Obviously not all these critiques apply to every Wood Badger or every Wood Badge program, but it's still great feedback. I obviously can't speak for every Council, but I think mine has a decent handle on some of these things with our Wood Badge and NYLT programs. I definitely do see some of these critiques in my council.

As with any bully, the solution is simple. Ignore her. Do not respond to any of her emails on this subject. If she confronts you in person, simply tell her kindly and calmly "the issue is already decided." Do not offer up any other explanation, do not attempt to satisfy her demands, do not engage with her on this matter at all. She has absolutely no right nor authority nor legitimate reason to make any of these demands on you nor your son, so just let her scream and holler till her voice is hoarse and she collapses in frustration. These people always tend to dig their own graves, so

This year, in my Tiger Den, I had a kid who was pretty awkward. His den mates were fine, but I knew he was having a few issues with other kids. I pulled them aside (both were Bears) and told them I’d heard some dreadful news! Someone was picking on one of my Tigers! I played it up, said I came to them because they were so responsible, etc. Asked them to be my “bully patrol”, and we practiced the way they would discreetly come and find me if there were any problems. Lo and behold, the bullying stopped. The trouble is, though, that takes the leaders buy in. I’d say, as a teacher, I w

I wish I was a glow worm, a glow worms' never glum, 'cos how can you be gloomy when the sun shines out your bum?

I am going to agree with LisaBob here, for both of the Scouters who need help in this thread. Her reasoning is smack-on. If there is one lesson I've learned in life, it's "be exceptionally selective about when, where and how you burn your bridges. You never know when you'll need that bridge again, and ... 8 of 10 times, you will." Stepping away with dignity, grace and compassion really does reduce the amount of loss in a lose-lose ... which is what someone leaving a CC or CM (or any primary Scoutering job) at mid-year does ... to the youth. Lessons to be gleaned: 1) If y

When you gotta go, you gotta go. While it's certainly a good idea to provide people with notice that you intend to resign, in my view you have no obligation to do so if you are not up to doing the job that needs to be done. It's quite easy for Scouting to force compromises with the needs of family, employment and other obligations, including your own personal needs. This is especially true when the unit Committee isn't doing its job and unfair burdens are being placed on unit leaders. Under any of those circumstances, I'd get out if you need to do so. If giving notice place

Hi DLW73078, First off, i'm glad your looking at all your options. I used to be a Cubmaster for a pack your size for about 4 years. One item i used quite successfully was "the Wall of Shame".. ok, so i only used that term to myself. I took a large display type poster board that folded in half so i could prop it up on a table (like a book). I made a bunch of fleur de leis with each family name on it. One half of the board was titled something like "Helping the Pack Go!" families fleur de leis who were already helping the pack were placed with their function below their name on that

Okay. Step One - Relax. As CM, you play a big part in the Pack program, but not the only one. There is only so much you can do, and so much influence you can have over den leaders. Step Two - Find a friend. You have no committee and so I assume no Committee Chair. Find a friend in the pack that you respect for their willingness to help the pack succeed. Get that person appointed CC by the COR. Have a nice long chat with him/her about the future direction of the pack. Together, you can achieve more at less personal cost to your time and energy, while having a shoulder to lean on

Why do you even need to write a letter, dlw? This is not a resignation from a job ... a simple "See ya!" would be suffice! But all seriousness aside, why the long face? If I were you and I was, I would call an all parents meeting and tell 'em about the situation. Give them the ultimatum to roll up the sleeves and pitch or find a new CM. Get the opinions of the peeved off leaders to see what gripes them. Erect a committee out of the remaining parents (I'm assuming that you have a good size pack ... 30?). Solicit the help of the COR, CO, or your friendly neighborhood Unit Commissioner or

This last weekend a fellow ASM and myself, along with our boys, went to Lake Texoma to pre-scout the Cross Timbers Trail that is on the southern border of the lake. The troop will be doing a two nighter hike later this month. It has a few spots that are accessable by car since the trail runs through a marina for a while and later through a resort, both on land leased from the Corp of Engineers. We had checked out both trail heads for parking and these mentioned areas to find out how the trail winds trough them. We then wanted to check out where we were going to be staying each night. We hi