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wdfa89

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wdfa89 last won the day on August 1

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About wdfa89

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  1. wdfa89

    Would you say anything

    didn't think you were flip at all and I have seen and recognize the power and utility of redemption, forgiveness, and second chances. MattR has raised some very good points as well. and I appreciate your perspective as well. It really gets down to if one thinks a person has the will and capacity to change/reform and/or the faith the PTB will ensure corrections will be made--and if you have the patience to let that play out--hard to do when it's your kid for sure. BL: hope for the best outcomes but have a plan for the worst ones.
  2. wdfa89

    Would you say anything

    not necessarily. depends on the bad choice. and you don't get to learn on my kid. I really don't feel the need to provide another opportunity for someone to screw up with my kid. and I really don't want that to happen to others either
  3. wdfa89

    Would you say anything

    I wasn't clear--he doesn't have to leave the troop, as you said his kid is in there, but he does need to leave his position. He needn't have any interaction with any boy other than his son. He needn't wear a uni again IMO. But as hard as it would be, if he pulls this again and the Troop doesn't follow thru (and quite frankly, he shouldn't be in a position to do this again so I think you have a problem already) and you can't be there all the time to protect your kid (I get it--I have a job and 2 other kids and my own life) then you have to consider all of your options if the troop has made their choice.
  4. wdfa89

    Would you say anything

    I wouldn't be very patient on this. I would speak directly w/ the SM and/or CC, possibly the CO rep if the CO is involved in the Troop (some are/some aren't). The yelling and screaming (coupled w/prior behavior) has no place and this "asm" no longer needs to have a role or presence at Troop activities IMO (again assuming the facts as presented in the thread are 100% correct and no reason to think otherwise). I would ensure I was present at any activity where my son and this guy were present. I would strongly consider changing units if the Troop isn't going to remove this person. That is my official how to handle it scoutlike. Honestly, if it were my kid, this ASM and I would have a talk and that would be the last tiime he gets w/ 100 yards of my son let alone speak with him again.
  5. wdfa89

    Sloooooow advancement

    IMO he is not sloooooow at all. I am sure there are some faster, but I have boys who have been in the troop a couple years + who are still Scout or TF. They are happy and coming to events. all good. he is doing fine. I am an advancement chair and I see this quite a bit. It is a big adjustment, IMO, from Cubs where the parents/leaders make sure everything is signed off and the program runs on basically a syllabus to boy scouts where the boy needs to drive the accomplishment, and bring his book around (which means having the book, knowing what needs to get signed, and then getting it signed) it can take a year or so before they find their rhythm on that. Then it can go like gangbusters. Sometimes it takes motivation, like seeing all the cool stuff that only 1C and above are eligible for, or a couple buddies make rank. or they just enjoy the activities and fellowship and that is enough. as someone already said they all move at their own pace and define their own journey. now that doesn't mean every now and again you can't talk to him and ask how is it going, and, if he is interested talk about getting stuff signed off (for ex, my son did want to advance but sometimes needed a gentle reminder about what he did on the campout or who he might see at a meeting to get stuff signed--but arms, or farther, length direction--more about helping him learn the procedures then specifically directing actions)
  6. wdfa89

    Denied a court of honor.

    ok I have read this whole thing, really surprised at how fired up uninvolved, anonymous folks can get about stuff. If I were the OP....kid made eagle. he is entitled/deserves an ECOH. As a parent I absolutely see wanting to get that for him. So much so, I would see to it myself (which is how our Troop does it anyway). It is obvious there is some issue driving the cmte to not put the event on. I doubt you will ever get the answers you are looking for. I also doubt you will ever get them to do as you wish and/or put on the ceremony. And further, why would you want to force folks to do something you want to go well against their will. do you really think they would, under duress and quite resentful, deliver the special ceremony your son deserves? I would swallow my anger and move on. Invite the Troop. who wants to come will come. I am not saying you are wrong for being angry, or wanting an explanation, etc. I am not even saying there are 2 sides. I will accept your version as the whole/complete unfiltered truth. it doesn't matter. You are not going to get what you want and I just can't see it is worth the high BP to get it. Even if you were to "prevail," whatever that would mean, I think it would be a hollow victory. A crap ceremony by folks who still would find your son unworthy. who need/wants that. Forget the Troop and give your son the ceremony you think he deserves. Life is just to doggone short and this is supposed to be fun/enjoyable. maybe I have mellowed, and there probably was a time when I would have relished going to the mattresses over something like this but in the end it is just a waste of time and detracts from what actually matters here.
  7. wdfa89

    Required Worksheets?

    Our troop does Scout BoRs. We know and acknowledge it is not a requirement. If any Scout or Parent points that out and says they will not we would not argue the point or hold a grudge. As adv chair I do not hide the fact it is not rqd and tell parents as such. We do it to give the boys additional opportunities to practice a) sched/attending the BoR, coming in full uni w/ their book, speaking w/ the panel and an opportunity to provide the troop feedback on their journey to that point--especially since these are our newest scouts. It also gets our adults a chance to meet our new scouts and it is great way for me to increase my pool of adults and train parents on BoRs. And I explain that to all my new parents, again pointing out while what we are doing is additional/optional--it is not required and their kid is a scout after the SM conf. We have not held up any kid because we couldn't/wouldnt get a scout bor done.
  8. wdfa89

    Tenderfoot and other ranks

    Our CO (a church) has a piece of property on the edge of town they are holding to someday relocate. We meet at the church. once a year we have a campout at the property primarily for the first years to get them acclimated to the patrol method, work on basics, catch up the boys who couldn't get to camp, allow some boys who cant make the whole weekend get at least one night in as they work around school/sports conflicts. aone time we made the weekend a focus on cooking and we set up all different ways of cooking inthe field and basically had different food/meals going non stop. anyway, it provides a good "starter" camp environment. we don't go there often, most the time we are hitting the road to camp but staying local does provide some opportunities. we have found for some of the new boys (and their parents) the idea of them being close by w/ the ability to go home quickly if things go south gives all concerned a comfort level they need to get used to the whole camping thing. rarely does anyone actually avail themselves of going home/picking up their kids early. The new boys realize next time they want to go away to camp and the parent realize their kids will surviv a couple nights in a tent w/o them. It's a nice start in the shallow end sort of deal.
  9. wdfa89

    What to do

    sounds like my son/ 14 yr old Life, busy with Band/soccer/baseball. Troop has a lot of first years and second years who might as well be first years. we focus on what he likes. he goes on campouts, cool day activities, jambo, phi8lmont,nylt but is sort of intermittent at meetings. sort of taking a breather during band/soccer season and then hopefully come back recharged/motivated in the new year when he has a little more time. when he goes to meetings he focuses on what he likes--teaching a single or pair of newbies scout skills to help them advance. it is about balance as well as letting him feel he is in control of his time and fate. and we try and help him prioritize his different events so he doesn't feel like he is letting anybody down and doesnt feel the weight of the world for all the decisions.
  10. wdfa89

    Dealing with Helicopter Parents

    SSF you make good points and obviously every situation is different. For me, I don't want to discourage parental involvement--it is in fact necessary and we take every opportunity that comes to take really involved parents and get them to sign up as leaders or committee members. I am only talking about the parents who try and steamroll thru the procedures (not that we are slaves to a checklist) that the rest of the boys follow or parents who hand carry the blue cards or scout books thru the signature process on behalf of their son for example. Any parent who wants to set up an event is fine by me. But I kind of gotta feel like the kid is actually doing the stuff and the kid is driving the train (factoring in we all, me included, push or have pushed our kids a little bit)
  11. wdfa89

    Dealing with Helicopter Parents

    I don't know of, or we have been lucky to not have the extreme examples but every year we have several orientation meetings for the incoming parents where we clearly spell out how the troop works conducted by the various committee chairs and scoutmasters. we clearly spell out how advancement/scheduling/campouts/meetings/etc are conducted and what we expect of our parents as well as how they can contribute and participate. and in the end, the current adult leadership is very steadfast in how we want the troop (boy led/patrol method) to be. We pushback hard against parents who can't seem to get it. i.e. I am advancement chair and I just ignore or slow roll the couple of hyper aggressive parents when it comes to getting their kid signed off or blue cards completed. I also know I have full support of CC and SM in that. eventually they realize the only way their kid is getting something signed is if he actually did it and goes thru the proper procedure. or they leave the troop. Now as I have gotten older and/or dealt with more and more actually serious issues in my career my tolerance for silly crap has decreased, particularly from other adults and their kids. I really have zero problem telling another adult they are wrong, they are not going to get their way, they don't rate an exception or extraordinary effort from meor any other adult troop leader. Now there is very little I will not do or an effort I will not make for a boy who is polite/respectful and is doing their best, particularly to overcome circumstances outside of their control or obstacles not of their making--regardless of what kind of doofus their parents may be.
  12. wdfa89

    Merit Badge Class . My Thoughts

    I taught a badge at the last couple Council organized and executed U of Scouting events. I always ask the boys (usually a class of around 20) before we start why are they there. Some have a genuine interest in the topic. Some are chasing a MB that isnt offered a lot or that they don't have. some signed up late and this was all that was left. and finally we get the my parent signed me up and sometimes that comes with the additional I don't want to be here. I just run my badge and those that want to learn an earn do it enthusiastically. Others just do it and then others just sit there and do nothing. If you do the stuff I sign the card. If not, good day to you. I had one of those signed up their kid parents call me about completing the partial and what did she need to do to get the MB completed. I told her I told her son what he needed to do and how to get ahold of me if he cared. never heard from her again. last time the ratio of kids who truly wanted to be there vs those who ended up there was just too far out of whack for me to sign up again.
  13. wdfa89

    New rule for Eagle palms

    My point was not that the award is meaningless, or that one just go to the Scout shop buy one and hand it out but that all the discussion and hand wringing seems a little silly to me. Interpret the guidance from National, discuss among Troop leadership, and press on. If the boy, in your Troop's opinion met the criteria as they understand it in good faith then that ought to be enough. I have seen actual combat decorations awarded (deservedly) with less scrutiny than some Boy Scout awards receive and I guess I find it funny.
  14. wdfa89

    New rule for Eagle palms

    we are not awarding the Medal of Honor for pete's sake. It's a bronze palm. let the boy have it.
  15. wdfa89

    President Trump to visit 2017 Jamboree

    not unglued. you seem a bit worked up. I don't recall any info that any of HRC's emails involved the BSA or her having any involvement at all with BSA so her honesty or lack thereof isn't particularly relevant to DT's jambo speech . Don't see how her lies excuses/justifies his.
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