Leaderboard

If BSA don't provide guidance then your only real option is to wing it but try to do so with some humanity. First up if the scout wants to be known by another name then just go with it. It's really no different to those who develop a nickname and it sticks with them. I've had Jude known as Pod, Matthew known as Baguette his sister Marina known as Mars Bar, George known as Pyro. When I was a scout everyone called me Batman. That's just life. Second I think that speaking to their parents is also a good idea. Importantly though I would tell the scout involved that that is what i plan to

But but...it's all the same...They promised Except.... Then they added the linked troops, then the early adopter units sort of looked the other way for girl only dens, then the councils looked the other way for the same, then units in Oregon played the system and started a girls Explorer Club and called them a troop and brought them to camp and there was much rejoicing, and then National rolled inconsistent adult leadership requirements and there was no explanation, and many units said they were just going to be coed, then many councils started inflating the number of perspective gir

Maybe it was an over exaggeration, but a recommendation to follow the scout's wishes as a first step is not, IMO , a reasonable response. In fact, I think gender identification at this age is so serious that it requires full immediate involvement of the parents. I can't believe calling the parents first wasn't even considered. I also agree with you that the parents are likely already aware of the situation, which is why they would get a few strong words from me for not working and preparing the volunteers of their sons troop for what they are about to experience. I've had that discussion

I think you need to at least talk to the parents first. I find it disheartening that we are mandatory reporters to the BSA and Government agents. But not to the actual parents of the scout. Who is a minor.

I am moving this to Issues and Politics.

Barry, you do know that being gay or transgender is not a mental illness, right?

These kids have a very emotionally tough path they are on. Just like we would with any Scout on a tough personal trail, we support them. If a Scout comes to us and says he is neither girl nor boy and wants to be called by a new name, then I think as a Scouter, you'd don't miss a beat or hesitate and simply say "great, then we'll call you by that name."

I just asked my middle school teacher wife, her having just gone through a whole training session on gender identity. She was told that legally (here in NJ at least) teachers are required by law to refer to a student by the gender that they identify as. They do not have to talk to the parents (it's in line with "outing" a student and teachers aren't allowed to do that), or if a parent asks that they refer to their child as one gender and the student asks to be referred to as another gender, they have to defer to the student's wishes. Now that's public school, not scouting. But an interes

Ask him if he identifies as a scout - if so tell him to go back to his patrol meeting and tell the other scouts he wants to be called by a new name.

The "optics" here are not good. Different handbooks suggest different programs, even if its actually all the same program.

Really??!?!? Are you serious? If they changed the Boy Scout book to add some pictures of girls and changed some pronouns you would have went nuts claiming they “changed the program”. They are adding a girls book with picture of girls and adding “she” instead of “he”. They did this in a separate book so they don’t upset the existing boys and their leaders... and that is now an issue? WOW! Perhaps we need to add trigger warnings to any BSA announcements going forward so existing leaders can go to their safe spaces prior to hearing such things like there is a scouts BSA book with pic

I think it's fair to let the scout know that you will have to talk to a parent. (After all, your "salary" comes from parents and not the taxpayers.) How he responds may give you some warning of what hazards lay ahead. It's also fair to let him know that you've never come across this way of dealing with life, so a simple "okay, fine" might not be an immediate offering.

There is not. The GTA does speak to the SM delegating the responsibility for the SM Conference to another leader if they are going to be absent for an extended period

Participation is already a requirement for the lower ranks, and holding a POR for the upper ranks would by necessity require participation. This seems, to me anyway, either a way to increase participation in program that the Scouts aren't thrilled with, or a way for a SM to minimize the time he spends working with his Scouts. In either case, it is adding to the requirements for rank advancement, and a de facto denial of a SM conference. Both are putting roadblocks in place that ought not be there.

I don't understand why participation can't be a requirement. Imagine the soccer player that only plays one game a season. Scouts is about doing so why not let the SM make a requirement? If it's too harsh then the scouts can go elsewhere. As long as it's consistent I'd be okay with it. I always told the scouts if they don't like the campouts then let's talk about it so they can do something about it. But it's easier to just not do anything. Getting back to the aims of scouting, I'm not sure how scouting can have much impact if the scouts are never around. Without the activities the aims ar

Respectfully, I disagree. The Guide to Advancement says: Policy on Unauthorized Changes to Advancement Program No council, committee, district, unit, or individual has the authority to add to, or subtract from, advancement requirements. There are limited exceptions relating only to members with special needs. For details see section 10, “Advancement for Members With Special Needs.” Units / individuals do not have the authority to add to the requirements. This isn't just a scheduling issue if a Scout cannot attend a campout for several months and this delays his advancement. It

Almost on que, another international example from Bryan on Scouting I like how some of the in-country volunteers were also scouts from that country.

I'm sure that works best for you. I balance information with real life experiences. By the way, two of my kids are high school teachers. They have a completely different take from their training on this specific issue. They also admit the challenge of weeding out political bias from the information they are given. Much of the training my teacher kids get is how to prevent litigation. As I said, I can't believe normal people would believe that not contacting the parents is a rational response. Barry

Learned yesterday that the Life Scout had the wrong date listed for his Life board of Review.

Every time I take a first aid course there's a caveat; don't go beyond your training. There's a guy that runs the youth program at our CO (a church) and this guy has seen a lot more than I have. Suicides, attempted suicides, drug and alcohol abuse, kids coming out. He's my go to person with experience. I only had to talk to him once but it was good advice. My advice is find someone with a lot more experience than you have.

My advice would be to talk to the scout first about talking to the parents, and if the scout gives you reason to think his parents reaction would be bad then I believe you're obligated to not tell the parents. The ugly truth is that not all parents are good, not all parents are nice, and sexual orientation and gender issues are forseeably an area that can trigger terrible behavior from a parent towards a child. Putting a child at risk that way would be morally wrong. If the scout can't talk to their parents then yes you need some higher level expert help. Getting the scout to talk to

I understand. Much depends on the Scout and what his reasons are for not telling his parents.

My DEs over the years have been barely old enough to shave, with degrees in marketing or communications. SEs used to be DEs. I'd be wary of making that call without strong suspicion of abuse, as it seems to me the most logical outcome is a visit from DCFS. If there hasn't been any drama in the family before the call, there certainly will be after it.

Both the scouts and parents knew when they joined the troop that there would be no secrets between the scout leaders and parents. Scouting is not a safe place when any Scout Leader puts themselves above the parents. Such self-righteous arrogance only leads to trouble and possible harm. observing hundreds of difficult struggles over the years, I can't think of a single one that was better when the parents where the last ones to know. But I can think of many that would not have raised to level it did if the parents were brought in sooner. That being said, our troop experienced many abu

I think Barry is concerned about some more nefarious https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria The worse thing one could do is think glibly "Oh, here's a budding LGBTQIA." When in fact there is a youth who is trying to quell some more brutal dissatisfaction.

I would emphasize @Cambridgeskip point.... talk with the scout FIRST before telling the parents. If the scout is comfortable with a discussion with the parents... great! My guess is that is probably the case but it is good to check. If they tell you to not tell their parents, then pull in your DE/SE for support. You will need professional support. Some parents are NOT understanding and can be physically and emotionally abusive. If a scout believes he is safe confiding something to his Troop, goes home to find out a parent was told, and they beat the crap out of him it could be psychol

Talk to their parents, use the name and pronouns they prefer. A Scout is kind.

My thoughts are that someone along the way made a knee-jerk reply to a Scout to get them to go do more outings, and on second thought believed it was a very good idea after all. Idea became policy, policy becomes tradition, tradition becomes law. Now the current SM may or may not know where and when it started but believes it's how to meet his responsibilities. Armchair psychology says if you press the SM on it he will definitely go on the defensive because, as happens with many of us, he's locked in to a single way of doing things because it has worked so far. If thinking differently about i

My first reaction is talk to the parents. Barry

You all need to lighten up. My SM never held personal growth conferences for upper ranks during meetings. We'd usually walk over to his house on a Saturday. He'd pull his advancement records out of his shoebox, and make sure his book and ours were synced. I often help the SM conferences at meetings with scouts because there is simply too much going on that demands his attention. This policy allows your troop's SM to get good quality time with the boys. Embrace it. There's nothing that prevents a scout from having his SMC with an MB outstanding or maybe a week or two pending in his leaders

This sounds like someone way back had a cute idea that got formalized for no good reason.

A question and some general observations. Was any reason(s) given for the policy change? SM Conference is not just about rank. So if the young man, who is First Class or Star, is having an issue that has nothing to do with rank, then he must attend a camp out to discuss it? I am guessing the reply would be "no, this is only for rank advancement," which would be literally adding a camping element to the requirement. Second, the SM Conference can be held prior to other requirements being complete. It is a common misunderstood and misapplied requirement that SM Conference is the la

So one of the fun things about being a scouter is watching young men follow in your footsteps, or maybe not ... I've told you all about how some times we wanted to grab the "Eagle Project of Troop ###" banner that often hang by some of our more public works, grab some spray paint, and add a footnote: "we take bad kids." Just like can happen in land navigation, a scout can choose to take "the long cut" into adulthood and all you can do is watch. Especially thanks to social media, there are a few moments you wish you could unsee, but there they are. And there you (or your wife, or your

This seems to be a natural next step for the Troop Webmaster position of responsibility. Any very good website requires a team effort. I've offered such leadership opportunities to venturers, and they passed because they knew what it entailed. I know of one from our troop that involved collecting children's books for World Vision Relief and Development. However, the shipping warehouse is just down the road, so all of the work effort was local. I've read of other projects where with a global scope. The fact is, some of our fellow citizens are involved in relief work in far-flung parts. The

Please don't use the term "we" to imply some sort of general, unanimous consensus among members of our Church. Scouting is a perfect fit for my daughters. Scouting would have been a wonderful fit for my older sister. Dahlquist is addressing current LDS Scouts, and how they can transition more or less seamlessly into community units. Since there aren't any female Scouts in units chartered by the church, there isn't any reason to address that possibility.

This encapsulates my biggest concerns with Scouting USA. In the old days we taught scouts that it was a virtue to lift his brothers burden or help those younger and weaker than himself. If this scenario had played out with the young man attempting to help a second young man, we'd applaud them both. One for offering help where he perceived it was needed and the second for accomplishing the task. However, in this quote, rather than celebrating both people, we see the first young man's values being mocked because the second person was female. Sorry @qwazse but if this attitude wins the fiel

In that case, I’m glad that by doing such things I can please the people I care about and offend the ones I don’t.

Barry, yes the ceremonies were only one aspect of it. I did a lot of that heavy lifting. Camporee staff, counclfire building, Trail clearing, bridge building, raking leaves, if it needed to be done we went out and did it. We were the ones who did the hard work, the Dirty Work and we were damn proud of it. You never asked for money, or a patch, we didn't even care if we got a round of applause. It didn't really matter if anyone else knew, we knew. And that was enough for us. That is the attitude and mindset I have striven to instill in the current generation. It is admittedly a lot ha

I mean you know disrespect all Oldscout, but your post represents how OA has been minimalized to irrelevance in the modern scouting program. Used to, Arrowmen were the heavy lifters, not entertainers. Oh sure, they performed ceremonies, but they were also the goto resource for clearing and cleaning up camps, clearing old trails and blazing new trails. They were brought in as experts for council camping activities and leaders of council outdoor activities. If you needed scout activities experts for large gatherings, you called OA. Their outdoor expertise was only marginally less than their repu

Here is how we try to head off these situations (as much as we can): Every September, we ask the parents to fill out a new Emergency Contact form. This allows us to keep up to date with new phone numbers and email addresses (including that of our Scouts- the town has an iPad based curriculum from grade 6 on, so we know that every Scout has a school email address at the very least). The back side of the form asks for any information about the Scout that we need to know about, from allergies and medications to learning disabilities, phobias, or any other emotional or social concerns- things

I have spent the last 42 years in the public school system, so I am very familiar with special needs children. I work with a number of those children on a daily basis, and fully understand the amount of patience that can require. It is a little different in the troop than it is at work however. We do need to make reasonable accommodations in Scouting to give every child every opportunity to participate; in the situation you have described it sounds as if your unit has done a lot to help the boy. I also get the sense that part of the problem stems from the parent, who also sounds as if

I’m not completely sure what you want here. It sounds like your boyfriend is free to come to activities, but he has to stay with you— is that right? He’s not banned. It sounds like he planned to go to the event with you for the day and then bring the younger children home for the night. The Cubmaster’s request didn’t make this impossible. I’m sure it was embarrassing— it’s hard to be reminded that he’s still a subject of gossip. But by then refusing to attend when conditions were placed on him, he also contributed to the outcome. You say his son will be a Lion next year— how much better

We do not allow electronics out during the day, they can chose to bring and use them in their tent prior to lights out, as long as they are either muted or have headphones. A couple of them found out on a recent backpacking outing that the phone is useless after the first night unless they add weight carrying a battery pack.

This is particularly true if the person has already been judged and found guilty. I don't think the scout unit is being asked to judge him. The scout unit is being asked to overlook or second guess a judgement that has already been made by the courts.

He is still on probation with the courts. I think it is fair if the scout unit considers him to be on probation with them as well.

Not necessarily. I have been focusing on the question you proposed to us. Now you are talking about an entirely different issue. Next year, the unit will have several options they can choose from. They can accept him with open arms, they can deny his son from joining the unit, or they can avoid both extremes and choose some middle ground that they can live with. Of course, the ability to find and choose a middle ground depends largely on the cooperation of the parent. If you think the unit will have to "swallow it" and do more than "tolerate" his attendance, you are very sadly mist

I can sympathize with your situation. I can also understand why you and he want to be active in this aspect of your scout's life. But, let's keep in mind that scouting is not for us. It isn't for the adults or the parents or our close loved-ones. It is for the kids and there may be, and will be circumstances where we do things for the kids that may either disadvantage the adults or otherwise not be in the adults best interests. If you and your boyfriend feel this strongly about him being an attending adult in activities then I encourage you to do two things. 1. Have him register

The judge didn't think so. The newspaper didn't think so. The scout unit didn't think so. I think it is time you wake up and smell the coffee. A felony conviction is not insignificant.

You asked the leader a question and got an answer about an individual with a documented incident. That's the framework under which he can participate. And to be honest, it's not that unreasonable. Not being a parent or legal guardian of any Scouts leaves it up to the discretion of leadership as to how they can participate. We don't allow anyone that is not a family member to attend overnights, and like your situation, they are not allowed to participate in any activity without two-deep supervision. It's CYA for everyone. It is leadership's duty to take whatever steps necessary to protect ALL

You have the right to invite or exclude anyone you want from your home. Likewise, others have the right to invite or exclude you. Under the circumstances, I think the scoutmaster is being very tolerant by allowing him to attend with supervision. The scoutmaster doesn't have to allow him to attend at all. My CO would not regard someone you are dating as being a family member. He is a guest. I would expect a guest to remain with the person who invited him, regardless of his personal history. Of course, next year, he would be considered a family member of his son.