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  • LATEST POSTS

    • Thanks. It is an absolutely beautiful house. Donated to the repairs.
    • Do not feel sorry. There are far too many survivors that have the same emotional issues as you. 
    • I’m sorry, I need to vent for a minute. This has been rough learning an entire year of nothing happening with the Slater cases, of which I am one. I thought financial help with this case could help me through my elderly years, because it’s obvious to me I will never let this go. I have my good days and bad days, unfortunately, being part of this case removed most of those ‘good days’. It took me nearly a year to get everything together, fill out my questionnaire, and get it in. I would have to work weekends on it because of how badly it affected my work day and my daily life. After adding the case to my life a few days were hitting me particularly bad. I would sit in my back yard holding a hose, sitting in a chair watering the same spot of grass for hours at a time and crying. One day I was out there all day and the neighbors started getting worried. I thought this part of my sadness was done with. I learned that all of those times in life my throat closing up was anxiety. In the last few years, hard anxiety attacks were now taking me to the hospital a number of times to make sure I wasn’t about to check out. The night the abuse started I walked home with a tinnitus ringing loud in my left ear. This loud ringing stayed with me for two decades. By the end of my 20s, the ringing had subsided . But within months of deciding to enter this case the ear ringing came back strong. Hearing this ringing again really isn’t worth any of this. But I’m not financially stable, I need help. I attribute these poor financial abilities to the abuse directly. Prior to the abuse I was an excellent student, straight A’s, an eagerness to learn, happy, sports, friends, but after the abuse that was gone. The abuse destroyed who I was and what I was to become. At the beginning of last year, my questionnaire and everything was turned into Slater (a few months before the pause). After a few months of finishing the questionnaire I inquired about updates and was told there was none. Every few months I asked about updates and again there were none. Knowing there was a pause, they said nothing. I somewhat understand that part. But have they even found a mediator?? Have they even started vetting a single one of these 14000 cases????? I didn’t think about how long this case was going to be and now there’s going to be another stranger I have to spill my guts to. I don’t really have a question I think I just want to keep thanking all of you with everything I am. You’re the only ones that have truly helped my mind and my heart during this case. I honestly don’t think any of us can truly let anything go. I think people are just better at ignoring things? I’ve met a lot of abuse survivors and a lot of them could hide things so well. I can’t seem to do that. I’m so broken I don’t know what to do. I want a vacation from myself but that doesn’t exist. I tried medication and it made things worse. I tried talking to doctors, it made it worse. I had one doctor laugh at me and say you’re a big boy, you’ll be fine, slapped me on the back and prescribed me meds?? I mainly spent Saturday afternoons working on my case, so then I could be emotional appropriate for work on Monday morning. This is off topic but one of the days I was sitting there on the back porch working on my case, I was staring off into the backyard. I saw two hummingbirds flying straight at each other and the second they got super close to one another they did this tight spiral together straight up into the sky I thought I was seeing things and then it happened again that day. I don’t know if that’s some kind of mating ritual or what that is but I thought that was really neat. Goodnight everyone, bless you all.
    • Like when I tried to reiterate that BSA policy (then) was single gender units, not full co-ed.  They responded, "we just do what works best for us."...I wondered what else "worked best"...ignoring YP policy...G2SS...safety afloat?  No wonder the BSA gets sued.  
    • Guess I have heard "mansplaining" before, but it struck me this time and made me smile.  I suppose there is a related term, "womansplaining", though not sure that is possible.  😃
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