Eagle Scout does not want Court of Honor

[gwd-scouter]

For the past three years our Troop has had 3 guys earn Eagle, one for each year, all three just before their 18th Birthday. The first two did not want a Court of Honor and I just heard from the 3rd guy that he is home from college and wants to come by and pick up his award. Doesn't want a Court of Honor either.

 

Is this normal for guys that earn Eagle at 18? We have another who needs to finish up a couple of merit badge requirements and he, too, will be turning 18 in the Summer and then going off to college. Will he also decline to have a Court of Honor? I hope not.

[Beavah]

Yah, it's fairly common among mature kids, eh?

 

The award means something to them in the journey, but they're not seekin' recognition.

 

I always tell 'em that a COH is an act of service. They don't need it, but the community needs it. It's a way of providin' an example for younger scouts, and a way to thank the SM, ASMs, parents and parent volunteers for all their efforts over da years. Yeh say "thank you" to those people by giving them a chance to celebrate.

 

Beavah

 

[scoutingagain]

Yes, We've had a couple decline an Eagle COH. But we did include a special ceremony at a regular troop COH so the younger scouts had a chance to see the award, the scout and had him say a few words. This seemed to work out the best for the scout that did not want all the hoopla of an individual COH.

 

SA(This message has been edited by scoutingagain)

[Beavah]

Yah, I should mention that there's another case dat's possible, eh?

 

Sometimes, troops make the families pay for / run their own ECOH's. I know of a bunch of cases under that setup where a lad and his family opt out. They don't want (or can't afford) to put on the "wedding reception". Sometimes it's worry about not keepin' up with the Joneses, who just did the lavish ECOH for their son; sometimes it's just not bein' willing to give the time or expense. That's especially true when an ECOH falls near graduation parties and such.

 

B

 

[jr56]

I have seen that happen many times, when the parents push the boy to finish his Eagle, and he does it to get his parents off his back, not because it means anything to him.

[Eagledad]

>>I always tell 'em that a COH is an act of service. They don't need it, but the community needs it. It's a way of providin' an example for younger scouts, and a way to thank the SM, ASMs, parents and parent volunteers for all their efforts over da years. Yeh say "thank you" to those people by giving them a chance to celebrate.

 

Beavah

[evmori]

CoH's are up to the Eagle. Beav's right on the money!!

[scoutldr]

We had a scout pass his EBOR and that's the last night we saw him. He hasn't even dropped by a meeting to pick up his award. We told him that the ECOH was to be planned by him and his family, but we would help any way we could, or we could just have a Troop COH. I guess it's too much trouble to think about. Some have said we should just mail it to him, but I'm not even inclined to spend the postage at this point.

[CalicoPenn]

Sometimes, its a matter of practical considerations - especially with those that not only received their Eagle just in the nick of time, but have also gone off to college before a COH can be held.

 

Have had a couple lads in this situation pass up the COH and for them it boiled down to time. They had no time to plan a COH because they were busy with the new challenges and opportunities of college academics and life, let alone much time to plan a trip home that would be convenient for others to attend a COH. They considered the Thanksgiving "break" a time for family, and were busy working during the winter break. By the time they could even think about holding a COH, it would be nearly a year since earning the award and they felt it would be awkward to have a celebration after so much time has passed, and I suspect they're right. In that time, the Troop can change a great deal, new lads, new leaders. It would be interesting to get Hops or Meamengs (sp? - sorry) perspective on what their home unit feels like after they've been away from it for a year. Having a quick ceremony at a regular troop meeting worked fine for them. Fortunately, the parents weren't disappointed (I suspect if it was an issue for the parents, there would have been a COH come heck or high water).

 

Beavah makes a good point of an Eagle COH being a way to say "thank you" to all those that helped make it possible, but for these lads, a personally written letter served as that thank you, and was well received by the recipients.

 

gwd - encourage the lad who just wants to come by and pick up his award to do so by attending a meeting of the Troop (if he has time). Then you can have a short ceremony and recognize the lad in front of Troop members that may still remember him (and before the influx of new Scouts from Webelos). While I do agree with Beavah that the COH can be viewed as an act of service, I also believe that first and foremost the COH is about recognizing this one person - this Eagle Scout for HIS accomplishments, and that thanking those who helped on the path to Eagle, or providing an example to the younger Scouts are side benefits of the COH.

 

More importantly, don't take it personally. Revel in the accomplishments but remember what a whirlwind life was becoming at that age.

 

Now - if it were a 15 year old Eagle Scout, I might have a different answer.

 

Calico

[mdutch]

I guess I am in a similar situation to many of the people mentioned on here. I had my Eagle SM Confrenence 3 nights before I left for college, and went home a couple of months ago to have my EBOR. Right now I am planning my COH for first week in January, before I go back to college. I think trying to arrange a BOR from college was harder than trying to do the COH, but my parents have helped a lot with both.

I haven't been back to a troop meeting since I left in the spring (and wasn't able to be as active as I wanted to in the year prior to that), so I don't know a lot of the new scouts that well. I'll be going to the Holiday Party that the troop is having next week, so it'll be interesting to see people again, though with everyone changing, it'll probably be a bit different. Life changes when you move away, I guess.

[packsaddle]

Yeah, I'm aware of the family choice matter for the Eagle COH. And we've had the usual 'wedding reception' celebrations for our guys, several of whom also just made it 'under the wire'.

But I still think back to my days as a boy scout and the fact that back then, the award was made by the CO during a regular meeting (church service in my case). It allowed the CO and the other church members an additional opportunity to show support and involvement in the troop. And it didn't put pressure on the family to set up for the 'reception'. I wonder when it was that things changed?

[SSScout]

Senior Scout earned Eagle. Plan his own ceremony? Sure. Invited the Troop to a camp out on his grandparents farm. Invited Troop family to the campfire saturday night.(bring your own chair). SM and CC and all did the award thing in front of the fire under the Pine trees. Nice fall night. Very Scouty.

Brownies not necessary. Hot cocoa and cider and hot dogs on sticks and all the fixins. Sing the Scout Vespers. Go to bed happy.

 

YiS

 

 

[Vicki]

Scoutldr, I would spend the postage and mail it to his last fixed address (not a college address). There were several things from my youth that I didn't think were important at the time but I'm really glad my parents squirrelled them away!

 

SSScout - I really like that concept of an ECOH, I think we get way too wound up in the "ceremony thing." Gonna remember that one!

 

Beav, EagleDad, I had the community speech used on me in the context of my Wood Badge beads:

[scoutmomma]

I always tell 'em that a COH is an act of service. They don't need it, but the community needs it. It's a way of providin' an example for younger scouts, and a way to thank the SM, ASMs, parents and parent volunteers for all their efforts over da years. Yeh say "thank you" to those people by giving them a chance to celebrate.

 

 

I like this sentiment, and I can attest to the inspiration that seeing an Eagle Court of Honor can provide: about a month after my son crossed over, he was invited to an ECOH for a Scout he did not know. We went, and he was asked to be in the color guard. At age 10, he was suitably impressed. On the ride home, he said to me, "I want to be an Eagle." It's now 3-1/2 years later, and he is near to completing his Life rank, and recently told me that he was starting to think about what he might do for his Eagle project. He's been to Den Chief training and NYLT, he'll be eligible in the troop's next O/A election, and he's talking about applying to be a CIT next summer. Would he have done all this without that Eagle Court of Honor? Maybe. I don't think so, though. It wasn't even a particularly elaborate ceremony, but it was heartwarming, and my son felt it.

 

Maybe your Eagle might not want to have all the hoopla, but it doesn't have to be over-the-top, and it doesn't really matter if your Eagle doesn't know the newer Scouts. It might not be a big deal for him, but I'm certain it will make a major impression on the young guys. For that reason alone, it's worth doing something.

 

SSScout's description sounds like a nice compromise, marking the occasion with real sentiment without being overly ceremonial: Invited the Troop to a camp out on his grandparents farm. Invited Troop family to the campfire saturday night.(bring your own chair). SM and CC and all did the award thing in front of the fire under the Pine trees. Nice fall night. Very Scouty. Brownies not necessary. Hot cocoa and cider and hot dogs on sticks and all the fixins. Sing the Scout Vespers. Go to bed happy.

[jpuckett]

I earned my Eagle when I was 18 If I remember correctly I had my BOR after my 18th birthday. I chose not to have a COH. There were some issues at the time regarding a change in troop leadership that I was bothered.. I chose to stay loyal ,in my eyes, to my SM rather that participate in a COH with someone I had no respect for. Looking back Im glad I chose to do what I thought was right but I also regret not having an ECOH. To this day Ive never even had the eagle badge. I understand these boys opt out for a different reason. I like them felt that the accomplishment was worth far more than the recognition. Now however as a 28yr old very involved in my sons pack and in Scouting I really feel that I missed out and would try to convince anyone I could to have an ECOH if not for them now then maybe for them later in life.