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Thanks for the specification. It sounds like the woman in charge was the Camp Director. It also sounds like she interpreted the court order in a way that allowed your ex to be present at camp. It's not clear how much contact with your son she allowed. In general, BSA camp directors answer (directly or indirectly) to council scout executives. That's why you or your lawyer contacting him/her to file a complaint would be the next step. The goal should be to clearly understand the BSA policy and determine what, specifically, the court order restricts/allows. This has implications for how the camp is conducted, but also might give insight on what rights you may have when your ex is in custody. On a personal level, I have found that if there's any possibility for each bio-parent to spend their custodial week (or weekends) with their son/daughter at camp, it goes well for the family. In addition to the child getting some quality time with each parent, parents get to know other adults quite well, and there's a lot of advice out there from the school of hard knocks!

@Keithami, welcome to the forums. You probably want to contact your council's scout executive. Was this a cub camp? Was the counselor in charge a volunteer (e.g., your son's den leader or Cubmaster)? Or, a professional? I ask because volunteers aren't in the habit of calling the police on non-custodial parents. All of our training teaches us that parents have a right to observe any scouting activity. Moreover, many Packs require that a parent or guardian stay at camp with their boy. I can't speak to what professionals are trained to do, but young counselors are definitely not prepared for this sort of thing. As an assistant scoutmaster I, certainly wasn't prepared when a situation like this happened with recently divorced friends whose son was in our troop. I got to be the guy to tell the couple that they need to learn to coparent in spite of their breakup. I will say this, although scouting did not work out for him, he and my Son #2 were close, and I got to see him grow up strong and good.

@KC4KEV, welcome to the forums. Look, if each kid is raking in thousands of dollars on these fundraisers, the IRS will be interested. If it's a couple hundred in the boy's pocket, it would cost more to process the paperwork than the taxes that would be collected. BSA does care about what kind of fundraiser it is. That's why you should send a unit fundraising application to your council. You do want the earnings to be spent on scouting stuff. For example, a uniform: no scout has to buy one, but when he does and he wears it, it makes your unit look sharp. The funds you gave that boy benefit the pack.

When the troop re-charters (probably happened in October/November if yours is like most) any 18 year old will be dropped from the roster unless he: Fills out an adult application for Assistant Scout Master or Unit College Scouting Reserve. Completes youth protection training. If ASM, completes Introduction to Outdoor Leaders Skills or obtains a waiver in a timely fashion. If he did not do this -- if he is nether ASM or UCSR -- he is no longer on the roster. If the committee does not want to make time in the troop schedule to recognize someone who is no longer a member, it's their call. No DE would gainsay them. Would any BSA professional care if a troop has a ECoH for a scout who is no longer on the roster? No. But, would they want to intervene here? No. I would not waste your breath calling a DE. You did the right thing asking for more info from the SM. Good luck.

Boy's in college? Is he 18 or older? Did he register with the troop as an adult? Did he take Youth Protection Training? I could see some wonk on a committee using these fine points to issue an ageist policy. I can't imagine council or district being involved at all. We SM's/ASm's are a touchy bunch, and if council yanks our chains, we yank back hard. Our 18+ year-olds, if they came down to the wire making rank, are a squirrely bunch. Some don't want a ceremony at all. Some don't realize that if they are inviting us to their graduation party (which are notably large in these parts ... rivaling wedding receptions), we could slap together a 15 minute ceremony between dinner and dessert (or horseshoes, or the band's next set, etc ...). One or two take us up on the deal. Others just want one more backpacking trip in the back-country with their mates (which I'm more than happy to oblige). There's just no one-size-fits-all policy. But when some committee tries to make one, things like this happen. As for your son being able to handle stupid bureaucratic behavior ... well, um, college?

So has your troop had a change in leadership and change in policy? The district or council can't make troop do a CoH. The people you need to talk to are your troop committee and leadership. Or, you could be like us hillbillies on the other side of the Appalachians and have a cookout and invite your scout buddies. Whoever participates at the CoH gets first in line for the BBQ. No hard feelings otherwise.

'Round here, the scout and his parents arrange the ECoH (pick the date, hall, type of ceremony, etc ...) and invite the troop or crew and others to participate. Obviously, the troop can accept or decline the invitation, but they can't keep a scout from having one.

I don't believe Oliver Perry would allow anyone to call him a lakeman (location of his most famous battle notwithstanding)!

If @SSScout want's to cross-link to those threads, he may. But my takeaway: low risk, legal, and appropriate. Here's why: Scale matters. The amounts raised by most scout accounts (even those HA bound) pale in comparison to those parents used to launder money for exorbitant registration fees of their gymnastics/sports clubs. A prepared scout is a benefit to the troop. ISA's should be for scouts to purchase gear or defray the cost of training events like summer camp so that he and his troop can better serve his community. Individual resources yields individual charity. Inculcate a hand-it-down culture so that the scouts purchase gear in stewardship, to eventually pass down through multiple generations of scouts. So, if that's your troop's culture, carry on with funding Individual Stewardship Accounts. Keep that uniform closet full, and get pictures of the same necker on different shoulders over multiple years.

Venturers age 18+ have to complete YPT. Assuming Explores do also? Moreover, abuse prevention training is part of the venturing advancement curriculum under the title "Personal Safety Awareness". How about Explorers?

@T113Alexandria, welcome to the forums and thanks for your service to our boys. Yes, banks can get pretty funny with this stuff. The CO just needs to vouch that you all aren't among our nation's sworn enemies. Ours did. (Can't remember if the COR or IH signed for us.)

You mean the surveys with the warm-fuzzy "are you happy" question? Or, the ones that ask how scouts and scouters feel about insta-palms, from which the minority opinion seems to be followed? I don't recall any survey asking boys and their parents a hard-hitting series of questions like "Would you approve of of a girl going through BSA rank advancement and activities: In your patrol? In another girls-only patrol in your troop? In another troop for girls at your meeting place? In a troop for girls at a different meeting place in your district? Somewhere in the nation?" Better yet: "Do you know a girl who would like to participate in our program?" Or one like "Should boys and their mates independently go camping? Go on day hikes? Hold patrol meetings?" How about adding to the survey, "What would you like the next survey question to be?"

My knee-jerk. Leave your TAY as-is (maybe factor in a reduction in immigrant boys). Set your goals now accordingly, let your SE know that those will be your targets, period. Count any BSA4G units separately until BSA figures out how to adjust targets. IMHO, the only useful way to do this is to add a row for total available girls.

I can't recall for sure, but I think we put paraffin on the seams (NOT the whole tent). The fact is, when canvas got so stretched that water wicked through, it got folded in half and became a drop cloth.

I like Timberline boots, but it's sock choice that manages blisters. That and duct tape. As soon as you feel the warm sensation coming on your foot, stop, de-boot, and slap a square of tape on the warm spot to reduce friction between skin and boot. This is very hard for a youth to do because he/she is so fixated on the goal that it seems like a sin to slow a buddy down by doing preventative maintenance. But taking care of yourself gives you a chance to enjoy your surroundings. I saw my first bear in the wild while I had one boot and sock off and had barely got the the duct tape on!

Venturingfest! Like many other venturing events, Venturers will hold dances at a council camp near you. Glow sticks are par for the course. SBR, since its inception has been allowing officers to organize such events accordingly. This is nothing new to scouting at large either. The O/A handbook from my youth had a chapter on social events, including dances where scouts would bring dates. Not my thing, but they were part of the schedule in my lodge. And later, in college, I met young women who were invited to such events. So, in this instance, in a sense, Venturing is bringing back an "old normal."

I am in favor of coed scouting. I am not financially desperate. Nor does the presence or absence of LDS give me any sense of urgency. My opinion on he matter has been brought on by encounters with international scouts, beginning with the king of Sweden in 1981. Other scouters in my district were influenced similarly, and as they replaced the old guard in the volunteer leadership structure. GS/USA's polarization on certain issues did not help matters. BSA's inability to be plain spoken on the matter is a vice of modern management that counts media hits. It is disgusting. But, make no mistake, after multiple wholesome experiences with men and women from co-Ed movements, the various "stay in your own lane" arguments sound quite hollow.

When I was a scout, I think boys like this were the ones who got severely homesick or never came camping. I wonder if they had dads like these, whatever nuisance it is to the SM, they might have stuck around enough to enjoy troop life by age 15/16. Such a dad was unheard of in my day. Heck, the one dad ASM was an odd duck (but a very nice one).

Was this the Tzofim Friendship Caravan? They've passed through our council camps on multiple occasions, and gave me a similar impression to yours. I also visited a show that they gave at a local synagogue. They are very talented youth. (The caravan patches are really nice too.)

There are different rules of order that dictate how a meeting should proceed (and if it should proceed) in the absence of the seated moderator. BSA does not tell a unit which, if any, rules of order a unit should use.

The general thinking is if a scout has demonstrated skills, he keeps the tool. We don't take away the tool simply because the scout hasn't had an opportunity to demonstrate to us. TC is a tool for troops with unruly boys. When we've had small numbers of crossovers and they seemed to be behaving, we didn't worry about their knives. We just taught skills. By summer camp, everything they needed to know would have been covered. If they asked for a TC card we would give it. Make of it what you will, but our behavior disorder kids never abused their knife and ax privileges. Lots of other issues, but we could trust them with sharps! We did go through knife and ax early this with the half dozen scouts who crossed over. (In the process, second years, were given a refresher via helping to teach and demonstrate.) And we formally gave out totin' chip cards ... mainly because the PLC wasn't sure how disciplined this group would be. Turned out they performed quite well!

So my brother would call and go on and on about the 20 milers he'd do in the CO Rockies compared to the 8-10 miler backpacking trips I might do. I finally told him, "We have to push through more air!" There are several great wilderness areas in the Monongalia National Forest in WV. Dolly Sods is my favorite. The Standing Stone trail that connects Tuscarora Mt and Appalachian trails has some pleasant vistas. Lots of trails in PA's Allegheny National Forest.

All YMCA members reading this: get your family on the waiting list for the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park, CO. My brother went once and kept going back as a hiking guide. His wife works the craft barn. Even if those two aren't there when you do go (it may take years for your name to come up), you will have an awesome experience.

Let me share a more upbeat story. A friend developed anxiety d/o and needed to work very hard (meds + counseling) to get on an even keel. That meant the rest of us, along with his wife, stepping up when his three kids needed anything. We did, no regrets. It was an honor helping a guy through the worst time of his life. His kids grew up strong and good. Through youth group, I camped with his kids on several occasions and one is turning out to be a missionary the other leads worship at our church (not sport for the shy). Like you, he could camp with his family, but he drew the line when it came to being responsible for other's kids. Regardless, my kids loved and admired him. Bottom line: this could be you. You could be the meeting-time leader and help with the paperwork, touching base from home, dropping off needed supplies (e.g., some of that good food), etc ... and the other dad could be the field leader, making sure your boys are well tended while camping. Trust me, when I have a parent like you, I worship the ground he/she walks on. They solve hours of problems, freeing up time for me to maintain training and spend quality time with youth. And your son? Maybe @David CO is right. Maybe not. But there's a good chance he'll grow strong and good regardless. You must work on you first, and if that means he will have to wait a year or two to go camping ... that's okay! Shame? That's your disorder talking. You must beat it. That will require brutal honesty with others ... your wife, kids, fellow scouters. I don't envy your situation, but the only way out is through.

Ground truth: thinking back on the predators that I've known of ... the bulk were married ... with children ... even grandchildren. Guys like @Sentinel947 and @The Latin Scot might be the least of our worries.