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qwazse

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Everything posted by qwazse

  1. Like Mamma said, "You gotta cry with the sinners and laugh with the saints." Still trying to figure out who is who.
  2. That's a poor reason IMHO. (See note about missed opportunities above.) I'd rather have the conference, find out the scout will be away for a couple months, help him think through what his next MB should be, get him that blue card, and encourage him to accept a PoR when he gets back and commit time to it. So @Hawkwin, unless he was really creative at managing a troop from a distance, your scout might get his oval for this coming rank sooner, but would probably not advance to the one after that any more quickly in my troop. (At the last committee meeting this was a discussion, and I made it pretty clear that giving a scout a break from a position he couldn't fulfill was always in the offering.) So, same net result, but I think our approach gets to the grit of what a boy needs to experience in terms of leadership development.
  3. There's not much down time in an Ordeal weekend. Ideally, you don't even cross paths with your SM. Regardless, I think the SM is missing an opportunity to break in an ASM to help with these kinds of situations. More importantly, a scout like this is getting to know other leaders and hear from other troops. They are learning how things could be done differently, and those ideas often come up in SMC's and BoR's. The more adults can hear from their boys, the better. Since you're traveling, your scout should consider starting Citizenship in the World, Photography, or some other MB(s) related to whatever you might be doing on your travels. Just because his ovals are being awarded a little later than expected, there's no reason he can't rack up some MBs toward insta-palms. (The delays in delivering SMCs and BoRs is is probably one of the justifications for insta-palms.) Also, for all of the kids, don't forget international recognitions https://www.scouting.org/international/recognitions/
  4. The guideline, what the BSA put out, again in bold ... Q: Should dens for girls and dens for boys meet at the same time and place? It is up to the chartered organization and the pack or the den to decide meeting times and places. The CM should follow it. This means if the COR says "Don't be ridiculous, Bear Den 1 and She-Bear Den 2 have room A from 6-7PM 1st and 2nd Mondays. Let us know when those two dens need more space." That's what the CM should do. If the COR says "At all cost, keep that corrupting influence of a she-bear away from those boys." That's what the CM should do. If the COR says "Listen to our parents. Support them." That's what the CM should do. If the COR says "Ask strangers on the internet, do what they say." Get a new COR! The cold hard truth is that BSA has offered no specific advice about what to do when you get one girl two grades apart from all others. (Or, even, when you get one boy two grades apart from all others in a Pack that initially started for girls.) We haven't heard a lot of things. We have heard that parents believe it's ridiculous to separate the she-bear from her male buddies. I could be wrong, but those sound like parents who will proffer up the token trained, registered, female adult when asked. Pardon, me if I'm making a molehill out of a mountain.
  5. Inasmuch as this can be treated like an epidemic ... the first step is prevention. As scouts, we all tittered at the "your body's about to change" script (which was one of the passages the SM would have an SPL read every year). But, it was a dose of preparation for what was ahead. Now, is keeping a gender dysphoric youth in the troop a problem? It could be. The problem is nobody knows how many trans kids are driven by gender dysphoria (which originally was measured in adults because it had observable effects on work and home life), or a fear of the unknown, or anticipation over the perceived benefits that the opposite sex seems to garner. Those are three different things. And honestly, from my perspective, scouting rejects all of them. The wilderness doesn't care about your sex. It might if you are more likely to have young to prey on, but that's not personal. The hardest thing for any scout I've worked with is for them to become comfortable in their own skin. Many fear backpacking, for example, because they have to leave something behind. Don't like your sex (or anything else about yourself)? Don't put it in your pack. Afraid of the unknown? We'll give you clueless friends to share it with. Think the other half has it better? They need to use the same digger to go to the bathroom.
  6. Thanks @HashTagScouts! That sounds to me like a fair compromise. (Caveat: I've never seen a crossover conducted by arrowmen, so I don't know what I'm missing.) I don't think it 100% solves the problems that the national advisors are facing. The video cameras will still roll. Even if a local tribe approves every step of a dance and every word in the script, someone on the opposite side of the country will see it and make a call on behalf of their tribe because they are offended by what another tribe approves. But, I think it will make it more fun for cubs. When I was a kid, half the was meeting actors or band/chorus members after their gig. Same for Son #2 when we went to see a ballet - which he liked, but when the Russian gal who danced the Nutcraker's Arabian invited him to chat a bit, I could see the "wow" factor in his eyes! The presentation becomes the "show" and crossover becomes that "backstage pass."
  7. Who's soul? Heaven help us that six kids and their families actually like each other's company to the point that they don't want to split! That's right, @nateisen. You don't want word to get out that you'll set any willing kid on a trajectory toward the pinnacle scouting experience of hiking and camping with her mates. Being that charitable might actually get you a few she-bears via word-of-mouth by the time B&G rolls around. And, if they're nice ones, your singleton might ask to spin off a third den with them next year. Problems like these often do resolve themselves over time, but only as quickly as your DLs and parents are masterful and making their den a welcoming place. Again, all this boils down to who you need to placate to have a truly great movement in your community: strangers on the internet who make up rules because you ask, or parents who have a half dozen other local activities to chose from. With all due respect to @Wëlënakwsu, BSA has not published specific guidelines on how to handle this situation. Maybe they will after they integrate the experience of hundreds of other packs. But, it's equally likely that they find a number of different options work equally well.
  8. Hang with their pack until February or go rogue.
  9. Sounds about right. Back in my day, if I wrote a letter to an SM, it would take two days to get to him, and maybe another for him to decipher my handwriting.
  10. Life's tough as a pioneer! What you need is an optimal initial strategy based on the numbers of 2nd-4th graders, broken down by sex, in your pack. National doesn't have that. More importantly, National has no clue about factors that determine the success of your dens. All they would know is that each adult leader cleared a background check and they (or someone using their myscouting account) took some online training ... just enough to improve BSA's odds of a determination of due diligence in the event of litigation. National has no clue if this girl and three other boys are the best of friends, if one DL is intimidated by the prospect of a girl in his/her den, if another DL is excited about it, if some female venturer in your neighborhood wants to volunteer as den chief, If there are two twins who just rub a DL the wrong way, etc ... Who does know that stuff? Letssee ... who actually paid (in $, popcorn sales, sweat equity, time) to have their kids registered in your pack? Who sees these kids when they aren't in uniform? Who is giving you feedback on what they think is ridiculous? That's why this June's FAQ (https://www.scouting.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/FAQ-Family-Program-061218-FINAL.pdf) has deferential language. In other words, your den-of-1 and your den-of-5 could be assigned the same DL, meet in the same room, at the same time, and do combined activities. You could tell everyone that's exactly what your doing, give the girl a distinct den # patch, and keep up appearances at Pack meetings, etc ... Or, you can keep the BS out of the BSA and only try a segregated den once four other she-bears sign up.
  11. Oh, no. I meant what I wrote. From Webster: @gblotter hopes (in vain) for some. Rogue troops hope (in vain) for none. The printing company is probably hoping they don't have to dole out too much of a kickback to the marketing consultants. I'm hoping for more youthful smiles.
  12. What type of delusion makes one think imagery and wording equates to segregation? I've only heard such opines from feminists. Rogue troops (be they all female, or tagging along with the boys) have been working from the existing BSHB, no problems. The could continue to do so without any revision to the BSHB ... merely an insert titled "Sisters and girlfriends, welcome!" Instructing them to form a patrol of girls, find a female adult SM/ASM, and "scout in."
  13. ... Second observation: the "Back to Basics" could use a picture of a female venturer being treated for her first blister. Third observation: those boys like like they are having fun.
  14. Welcome! And thanks in advance for all you do for the youth. Sounds like you have two options: A) let the girl Bear with her boy buddies, or B) let her bear with her wolf or Webelos girl buddies. Your decision should depend on who she works with the best. You're not gonna mess up if you work for smiles all around.
  15. Respectfully? It's a big country. Your name may have been given you by the elder of your village. Rejecting it could be seen as a heinous insult to your community. Supporting your fellow scout may involve refusing to join him in folly. What if a scout comes up to you and says, "Sir, I have concluded that we must identify Jonny as Blurf. His parents named him/it wrongly. How soon can we make a hike to the court house to ratify the name change?" What if Johnny/Blurf's parents don't approve? What if they do but his family matriarch does not? Insulting her could result in several cousins leaving the troop. The considerations vary by locale, and since most of us have youth from different (albeit often subtly different) cultures, a simple solution one-size-fits-all solution may not apply. What if the parents think the name change is a great idea (maybe "Johnny" was given by a priest who was recently found to be corrupt) but the scout doesn't? @askyourspl, is the parent really okay with this? Is the scout of a particular tribe? Are your other scouts? (Seriously, this is a consideration.) At the end of the day, this information and a discussion with your ASM's and commitee should determine how you handle this. Unless I happen to be in your troop, no opinion of mine would be helpful.
  16. @Chris1, don't revise history... Registered and trained adult female advisors or associates were never required for a coed crew. An adult female did not need to be present for crew meetings or daytime activities (coed or otherwise) ... only for overnights. The revised requirements could very well crush venturing. Lacking any evidence of a spike in girls being victimized by their male leaders, this requirement is purely defensive against projected litigation of incidents in BSA4G.
  17. Christmas is coming I'm betting our troop's white-elephant gift exchange will have at least one Scouts Handbook for Girls wrapped in cammo duct tape. I'm betting our more rugged boys will trade for it.
  18. I think the general emphasis on immediate recognition gives us a sense that National's advancement team would rather us respond to scouts sooner rather than later. This makes sense. Three months may be a blink of an eye for those of us who wait for peer-reviews, but it is a long time in a boy's mind. Boys in upper ranks often are becoming responsible citizens and committing weekends to good things besides camping. So, if you're only available for upper-rank SMC's on troop camp-outs, you probably should find an ASM who you trust to handle the boys who aren't gonna be on the next couple of camp-outs.
  19. I think it's fair to let the scout know that you will have to talk to a parent. (After all, your "salary" comes from parents and not the taxpayers.) How he responds may give you some warning of what hazards lay ahead. It's also fair to let him know that you've never come across this way of dealing with life, so a simple "okay, fine" might not be an immediate offering.
  20. This whole thing precipitated because the GS/USA narrowed its lane to deny many girls some desirable programs. I would rather endure the semblance of co-ed if it lets the one "side" see that the other "side" is playing from the same book. If Venturing is any indication, girls in Scouts USA will avoid any whiff of being pandered to. Any girls who ask me to SM their troop better be prepared to only by the "boy's" book.
  21. Um, @FireStone, this week, our state's Catholics are reeling from the unveiling of the ramifications of a very broad, seemingly -- at the time -- rational, "don't tell the parents, let the Bishop handle it, he'll tell parents if they need to know" mode of operation. Of course, what we don't know is how many boys and girls were protected from abusive parents by honorable priests who used their calling to provide sanctuary as the Church intended. But, the general consensus is that creating a space where youth could be shielded from their families also created an opportunity for some malicious adults (sometimes as a group -- so much for two-deep ) to insert themselves and reap havoc. That havoc to those youth outweighed any benefit to many other youth. Requiring teachers in NJ (or most other states with similar policies) to work a "what happens in school stays in school" strategy might not sound like the good sense that it seems to be making in your neck of the woods. Perhaps we should not draw too many parallels between agents of the state and other institutions. But, if that is the case, then one cannot argue that it is 'rational' to have what is required for such agents be required of a volunteer of a CO to whom parents willingly entrusted their child with an expectation of transparency.
  22. Almost on que, another international example from Bryan on Scouting I like how some of the in-country volunteers were also scouts from that country.
  23. Props to everyone for not making this about membership. It's not. Let's also not make this about abusive parents. Impulsive decisions are part of adolescence. Great parents can have impulsive kids. In fact, most parents have impulsive kids. That's why we spend a lot of time training kids about fire, knives, and a whole bunch of other harmful things. In the process, we often see or hear from an impulsive youth in ways that make us pause, not because a given impulse is out of the ordinary per se, but because we think it could be part of a larger constellation. Or, because we think that impulse will result in a culture clash. Either way, if all evidence points to the scout having decent parents, talk to the parents and the scout in the order that makes sense. It's okay to be honest that you've never dealt with anything like this before, and you're not sure the scouts' friends have either. So, just like with knives and fire and a host of other fairly innocuous things, you don't necessarily want to cater to the scouts' every wish, but you don't want to kick him/her to the curb either.
  24. I think Barry is concerned about some more nefarious https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria The worse thing one could do is think glibly "Oh, here's a budding LGBTQIA." When in fact there is a youth who is trying to quell some more brutal dissatisfaction.
  25. 3) The conferences on campouts seem to be less rushed, more relaxed, and more reflective. The SM may simply want each boy to get the best upper-rank conference possible, and his experience has led him to realize that this policy promises the ideal personal growth discussions.
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