Jump to content
scoutldr

The Entitlement Generation

Recommended Posts

Thanks Sctldr, the article is spot on.

 

Many kids think they are special snowflakes because that is what every adult has told them from day 1.   No punishment, no consequences, no responsibility, no criticism.   

 

The sad thing is, the kids are better than that.   The adults--parents, teachers, etc.--set the kids up for failure.

 

When they become adults, they'll have to learn lessons that they should have learned at age 8.   Saw this in the military.   Many a 18 year old Airman flabbergasted that they, Mr./Ms. Special Snowflake, are told "that wasn't good enough, do it again" or "you made a bad choice and here are the consequences."   Some just can't believe it.   To their credit, many learn from it.   Others?   They can't get over 18 years of non-stop positive, undeserved affirmation of everything they did.

Edited by desertrat77
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I visited AHG's HQ last weekend.  In a presentation, one youth lady said that they create the perfect environment for failure.  I thought that was a very clever statement, and it says a lot.  In a good Scouting unit, a Scout feels safe trying something and failing without ridicule, so he can try it again.  We as parents (and Scout leaders) are afraid to allow our kids to fail.  We can fix that if we keep our eyes on the big picture instead of every little detail that can go wrong at the moment. 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good article, see it all the time in modern parenting styles.  Now that it has had a chance to develop inter-generationally, one is going to see more and more entitled parents with entitled children.  That should be a hoot to observe.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I visited AHG's HQ last weekend.  In a presentation, one youth lady said that they create the perfect environment for failure.  I thought that was a very clever statement, and it says a lot.  In a good Scouting unit, a Scout feels safe trying something and failing without ridicule, so he can try it again.  We as parents (and Scout leaders) are afraid to allow our kids to fail.  We can fix that if we keep our eyes on the big picture instead of every little detail that can go wrong at the moment. 

 

I teach my boys from day one that failure in Scouting is supposed to happen.  They quickly learn that the best teacher is failure and one will learn quicker from mistakes than successes.  I also teach them that the best servant leaders are those that know how to deal with failure because when someone needs help for a failure of their own, how can the leader help if they know nothing about having failed themselves?

 

Because of this approach I never have to raise my voice, I never use sign's up or need to punish any of the boys.  They just take their failures in stride.

 

This past summer camp, I told my one boy who had zip off uniform pants to make sure he doesn't lose the legs when he switches over to shorts.  Well, lo and behold, he lost one..... Like I didn't see that happening?  Of course, but now the boy is mowing laws for the neighbors raising enough money to buy a new pair.  He's my Webelos cross-over and was his first summer camp.  He's a quick learn.

 

A second boy came over frantically seeking help from the leaders at summer camp.  A wind storm had blown through and knocked down all the wall tents and took out their dining fly as well.  It was still raining and was getting dark fast.  So I looked up from my game of dominoes and asked them why my tent was still standing?  He sheepishly answered, because you probably tied the right knots.  I then asked him if he wanted me to come over and teach knots again.  He said, "Yes, please."  I did and then went back to my game of dominoes.  The next day the PL had everyone out tying the knots over and over again until they could do them not only in their sleep but also in the dark in the rain.  :)

 

As far as entitlement is concerned?  Every boy in my troop is entitled to become a great servant leader in the world in which he lives. 

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good "Part 1". I look forward to reading Part 2. :)

 

It is harder being a parent today and the fault is not entirely with parents.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good "Part 1". I look forward to reading Part 2. :)

 

It is harder being a parent today and the fault is not entirely with parents.

 

It's no harder being a parent today than it has ever been in the past.  And yes, every generation of parents generally figure it out.  The only real "fault" one can find are those who abdicate being a parent and try to be a friend.  Well, kids need parents, they have friends enough out in the world, they need a parent and those are harder to come by these days. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's no harder being a parent today than it has ever been in the past.  And yes, every generation of parents generally figure it out.  The only real "fault" one can find are those who abdicate being a parent and try to be a friend.  Well, kids need parents, they have friends enough out in the world, they need a parent and those are harder to come by these days. 

 

Well consider today, I received an email from my son's school that he has summer vacation homework and I and Mrs. Schiff are responsible that he gets it done. Neither happened or would have happened to my parents. I am tempted to channel my Dad and tell them in blunt language to do their job.

 

Back then there were consequences - spankings and worse. Yeah I got the belt. The phrase "Just wait 'til your father comes home" was dreaded. No social promotions back then.

 

My parents did not have to worry about censoring movies, mail, tv, or books as the bad stuff was just not accessible. There were only 3 or 4 tv channels. Oh there was a close call in 9th grade when Peyton Place was briefly added to reading list. I think that English dept head eventually found a job at Woolworth's.

 

My father told me, legally his kids were "chattel" and he would do as he wanted, in other words, the Village will mind its own business and mostly did.

Edited by RememberSchiff
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My parents were the same, I did the same for my kids and as a grandparent, I see my parents still working in the lives of my grandchildren.  :)  

 

Entitled children grow up to be BFF's to their children, not their parents.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The best way to learn from failure is to learn from someone else's failure, lol.  But many of us don't seem to choose that path.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Somehow it's human nature that we all have to touch the stove to see if all the hoopla is true.  :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One way to divide people into like groups:

 

1.  A small minority who listen to their parents, teachers, religious leaders, Scout Leaders and such and follow their example and advice.

 

 

2.  A large majority who learn from their mistakes.

 

 

3.  Another group WHO NEVER LEARN!

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

About a year after  my first wife and I parted company (A Scout is Courteous) I met a young lady who was also recently divorced. I had a 5 year old daughter, she had a 6 year old son, both of us had "custody".   I thought we got along fairly well in our first few dates.   I was not ready, and neither was she,  to introduce our kids to each other, but they had each met the other adult, and had it explained that even mommies and daddies had "friends".  The problem came when I suggested, after some observation, that her son needed a mother more than his mother needed a "friend" of 8 years old.... 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't suppose anyone realizes that Scouting has some of this as well...right?

 

The "instant gratification" model where a Scout is immediately awarded a badge or rank, is not very real world.

 

It's possible to work on something and get no recognition at all...except for the negative recognition when you screw something up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well consider today, I received an email from my son's school that he has summer vacation homework and I and Mrs. Schiff are responsible that he gets it done. Neither happened or would have happened to my parents. I am tempted to channel my Dad and tell them in blunt language to do their job.

 

 

 

Well if you're not responsible to make sure your son does his summer homework, who is? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×