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Working with Kids

Counseling, inspiring and teaching kids.

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  1. Thorton W. Burgess

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    • I think that's part of what's really tripping me up here too.  I've seen too many instances of parents going to battle for their kids only to find out what the kid told the parent in the first place wasn't exactly or entirely what happened.  I don't know if that's the case here or not, but some parts of the story as laid out certainly trip some warning bells saying SOMETHING is missing here.
    • I just want to make it clear that I never said, nor do I think, that the behavior the OP has described is acceptable.  If I were the CC or COR and I became aware of an incident like this it would take an other-wise sterling record, a completely repentant attitude and some serious consideration before I considered anything besides booting the SM from his/her position if not the troop.  I just   Bullying is certainly reportable, all I said is that not all instances of someone being mean is "bullying", regardless of whether or not there is a power imbalance.   It really depends on what "behaved poorly towards him" actually means.  Just didn't want to hang out with him?  Told him to go away?  Started calling him names?  I have to think, given the topic, if the kids had actually been openly hostile, the OP would have mentioned it.  Expecting kids to maintain an emotional calm at all times in order to be perfectly kind is ridiculous.  If there was some kind of big blow up between some kids on a camp-out, I'm not going to bat an eye if the groups involved want to avoid each other for an hour or two until their feelings settle down.  Of course if it goes on for an extended period of time or if one side or the other starts trying to entice others to ostracize people, it's a different story. Well, I started my post when there were only about 4 comments.  There's been a whole lot of additional information OP has tacked on since then that makes the situation look like the SM is a significant problem with a history of abusive behavior over the pink shirt thing.  But I still think it's reasonable for the core Committee to ask the OP and maybe scout to come in discuss the situation.  (though not with a large group of parents and maybe not with the SM)  But to be clear, it should be to discuss the incident, not the report to the Council. As far as the whole "repeated behavior" thing, well that one is trickier.  In this case, if the SM has been reported 3 times (I'm going to assume by different people and not OP) for harassing people wearing pink, I think it starts to be pretty clear the guy has a homophobic issue with the color pink and he's bullying anyone that violates his standards of masculinity.  But I'm always going to be hesitant about claims of bullying for single incidents happening to different people unless there's a clear unifying factor (as in this case) or a significant pattern of recurrence.  
    • correct. The SM just was against the pink troop shirt. Same color used by the old SM. Just the new SM is anti pink. The only time they try to all match is when they go to Woodruff and they wear a neon yellow. But that is not always the rule. 
    • This sounds really strange... If accurate I feel for the young person with multiple neurological disabilities but if the 'troop' is not part of the BSA then this is not a BSA issue... ("the troop having seceded from the national organization, due to the troop being their own private troop"). No outside group can use our name and insignia without affiliation.   
    • It is important to say that maybe, just maybe, we don't have the complete story here.  If I were the COR or SE, I'd like to hear from about three or four more people to hone in on "the facts of the case" before forming any judgements about the situation.
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