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King Ding Dong

Is this just wrong?

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Fall Reunion is this weekend for Ordeal and Brotherhood. One mom sent an email to the Chapter Chief to see if her son could leave Saturday night after the Brotherhood ceremony. The answer was yes, so she sent out an email to all the Ordeal candidates informing them they can leave at 10:30 and where to park to retrieve their son. Big surprise today the other two Ordeal candidates are bugging out as well, leaving me and my son for our own fellowship. They got what they want, time to Dash. This includes the new ASMs son.

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I guess OA has it's paper Brotherhood members too. :( That's really unfortunate.

 

Stosh

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Is it wrong? If the Lodge has no problem with people bugging out at 10:30 after all the ceremonies are complete, then no, it isn't wrong. Even back when I was a Lodge officer (3mu0mble some odd years ago), we had people bugging out on Saturday nights after the ceremonies - and not just the LDS folks because folks just have lots of stuff on their plates, especially in fall and spring. Frankly, most of us are lucky we can get the Scouts to commit to one weekend outing a month in Fall and Spring - especially older Scouts of high school age.

 

That being said, it is disappointing, especially if the only reason to leave early is "just because". Some of my finest Scouting memories involve hanging out with other OA members after the ceremonies either watching the ceremony fires burn down or at our own campfires, with no agenda, no pressure to perform, just relaxing and "chilling", then sleeping in late on Sunday and wandering over to the mess tent for come as you are breakfast, with the kitchen open for 3 hours for "breakfast anytime" with cook to order eggs, omelettes and pancakes (Breakfast started at 7:30 with last call at 10:30).

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Calico,

 

There was more "brotherhood" in what you were doing afterwards than any OA ceremony could have done... It's rather unfortunate that the ritual is still there, but the meaning is gone.

 

Stosh

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I agree with jblake47 (yikes!) as a new OA member I found the best fellowship hanging out late after everything was over and watching the boys play midnight basketball and the like. Much more fun then our Troop campouts,,,these brothers are missing a lot.

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Sad, and I've seen it happen. We had a kid have "panic attacks" during his Ordeal. As soon as he was able to, he called mom to pick him up after the Ordeal Ceremony. Only saw him once at an OA function, and that was the district camporee's Call Out Ceremony when we get all the Arrowmen in the campfire circle behind the ceremony team.

 

Found out that nite the only reason he did OA was A) resume/college admissions, and B) Dad, grand dad, and I believe great grand dad, were all in the OA with grand dad being VERY involved with the lodge and council.

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If anyone is bouncing a basketball within 3000' of me at midnight, I am going home. :) To be fair there really are no activities except for a movie in a hall after the ceremonies and services Sunday morning. What is really bugging me is you can't even call this troop a camping club because of the attitude I here some times " I don't need the camping nights".

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There's no question a parent may take their child home whenever they like, and the Chief was correct to say so. However, a large portion of the benefit a scout derives for the Order of the Arrow program is gained from interaction with his peers in other units, and participation in program, not just the ceremonies.

 

Ideally, the Chief should have requested to speak with the scout (this isn't cubs after all), and encouraged full participation, explaining the benefits.

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Sad, and I've seen it happen. We had a kid have "panic attacks" during his Ordeal. As soon as he was able to, he called mom to pick him up after the Ordeal Ceremony. Only saw him once at an OA function, and that was the district camporee's Call Out Ceremony when we get all the Arrowmen in the campfire circle behind the ceremony team.

 

Found out that nite the only reason he did OA was A) resume/college admissions, and B) Dad, grand dad, and I believe great grand dad, were all in the OA with grand dad being VERY involved with the lodge and council.

 

Whenever one is conflicted between one's own welfare and the welfare of others, in today's culture, the individual wins out. Achievement vs. leadership,... well, one doesn't need followers when one gains self-attainment.

 

"Is this just wrong?"

 

Not when one bypasses the whole issue of honor. Sometimes one does what's right regardless of what one gains in the process. I kinda thought that with OA being an honor society, it might reflect that, but things change..... (Except the original description of certain scouts that dates back to day one, Parlor Scouts. Sorry, but they've always been there and tomorrow a whole new group will come forward to claim that title.

 

Stosh

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KDD, I'm very sorry to hear your story. While I was never a Lodge officer, I have several in my Troop and they are DEDICATED to the OA and to their unit. However, I have members of my Troop who would no doubt, if elected, choose to "dash" after the Ordeal/Brotherhood ceremony. It's fun to recall our own personal experiences from when we were Scouts and how things were different back then. But I tend to think the folks who spend time on this forum were dedicated Scouts or, if we weren't Scouts as youth, are the kind people who would have been dedicated Scouts. We have our personal memories of OA fellowship, which is important to us, and we want to share this with the Scouts within our various circles. But JBlake is right; there are folks who just aren't Scouty in the sense of the outdoorsman who yearns for brotherhood time in the woods.

 

I see countless new Arrowmen each Ordeal who get the sash/pocket flap and then are never seen again. Unless we do something to change that it's just going to keep happening...BUT we don't know how much these new Arrowmen participate in their home units--the #1 duty of an Arromwan. Personally, I think showing up and living the ideals of the OA is the best thing you and your son can do. Don't worry about the others. Your actions speak so much louder than words.

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Fellowship time is no longer valued.

 

"Did you like your time?" Mom asks while surfing her phone.

"Yes! Great people, I really felt welcome." Son replies.

"What did you do those last few hours?" Mom asks when the kitten video ends.

"Not much. Watched a movie, chewed the fat." Son half-heartedly replies to a half-hearted conversation.

"That's nice ..." replies Mom absently while checking any new recipes.

"Yeah." Son says walking over to the game console to see if the latest mod for World of Warcraft comes out.

 

Mom thinks to herself, "Well, that group is a real time waster. Gotta get the boy into something more engaging. Oh, look! A new kitten video!"

 

:mad:

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KDD, if this matters to your son. (It may not. He may want to keep his new buddies all for himself!) Here's what you do ...

 

1. Talk to the lodge officers about any upcoming service opportunities.

2. Ask your son which ones he thinks would be cool.

3. Have him call his buddies next day and say "Hey, since you bailed on me today, I didn't know what to sign us up for, but I thought it would be cool if we did ___ together, so I put your name down. Hope you don't mind!"

4. Direct mom to this forum and encourage her to submit a topic "Pushy scout voluntold my son!"

 

Other scouters on this forum can take it from there. ;)

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We can be pessimistic and speculate all we want about the actions of certain Scouts and their parents or we can serve our units and our lodges to best of our ability. I say, KDD, go to the fellowship and have fun. Then, as Qwase sort of said (;)), you and your son could promote the chapter/lodge activities and try to be good Arrowmen by doing your best to pump up enthusiasm. Does your unit have an OA Representative? If not, maybe your son could volunteer for his Troop? We can't make people do anything but we can sure try to encourage the behavior we want...Someone once said something to the effect of be the change you want to see :cool:

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You know I have developed some GREAT relationships when I took Wood Badge back in February, relationships I wouldn't trade for anything. Maybe boys don't realize how important those relationships are because of things like FaceBook. I don't know, who am I..Just some 38 year old OLD MAN. I am very much looking forward to new relationships I will forge in our OA Ordeal at the end of the month.

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