WisconsinMomma

This is not necessarily true, either. You can be sure she doesn't have formal BSA experience, but... take my friend, the daughter of a Montana forester, grew up in the outdoors, whose younger brother was in Scouts and she was always around. Now, does she know everything? No. Does she know some things? Absolutely. Nobody knows everything. I mean, if someone does know everything, they might be unteachable. My friend certainly has a lot to offer.

I know a family where the mom and dad had a horrific breakup. The dad and son had worked on an incredible car the year before, and the boy ran it twice. I don't know if he had any chance to do another car the next year. Sometimes it's good to put kindness first and not get to picky about the circumstances.

It's "teachable female" that I'm taking issue with, as if, that's a rare combo. Perhaps I misunderstood the intent, but I've noted here that moms often get complained about, and --- they're part of the program too! Yes, I am nitpicking, but, I really don't want moms in general to have a bad rap in the BSA.

There are plenty of teachable females out there! Let's not let a few difficult parents dissuade anyone from making new Scouting friends. And I should take issue with the word "teachable" too -- how about -- females who are new to Scouting and interested in the program?? We really need to be careful just because some moms (and dads) are difficult, we don't generalize that all moms (or dads) who ever ask a question, want to participate, or haven't learned the ways of Scouting yet are terrible people.

Did the person ask you directly? In email? Face to face? Through someone else? I think that short and vague is the way to go, if you choose to reply at all. Something like, "My family has had X great years with Troop XYZ. Recently we've had struggles with campouts and other activities. (or other brief but not-too-specific or accusatory phrase of your choice) It was a difficult decision, especially with our long history and many friends in the troop, but it was the right time for us to move on and we are satisfied with that decision. We wish everyone in Troop XYZ all the best. " "Recently we've struggled with some issues related to the patrol method, advancement, and camping"

I'm going to pray for you and your whole Pack. I hope it gets better. Big hugs.

That is a big council!

I am still so sorry. A pushy person can push their way into an organization, and it sounds like this method is working for this guy. It sounds like the commissioners want you to have a CM, any CM, and this one seems to have a lot of energy, and they want you to work it out so you have your Key 3 and then it's less work to try to recruit another CM. Now, do you go along with it, fight it, or move to a different group? From what I am reading, the council can decide to allow a person with a criminal history to volunteer if they decide the person has cleaned up and is on a better path. I am also reading that the Chartered Organization (the church) can still say no thanks. What have the responses been like to the lack of training? I guess my question is, who will work with this Cubmaster and Den Leader to ensure they follow BSA rules? Since they have shown no respect to you, I would think that CC is not the right role for you anymore. (Not your fault, but it's not practical or healthy for you to have to be the person to have to confront the CM and request compliance.) I think in your shoes, I would resign as CC and focus on my Bear Scout. I would probably focus on making the Bear Den experience a good time for that group of boys. A good den is a good thing. Maybe that makes me sound like a quitter, but I think limiting your exposure to this person would be good for you. Why bang your head against the wall? Since you can only control yourself, you have to find where you want to be in this situation. I will mention that I was an interim CM (after 4 years as DL and one year as ACM) with our Pack and recently stepped down because of a conflict that was making my volunteering no fun anymore. Now I am just the parent, and it's awesome! (I still volunteer with a Troop and the Council on other stuff.) I don't generally like pushy Scouters, but on the positive side, they can get a lot of stuff done. He needs to be trained. If he wants to try stuff, that's fine, but they need to follow Safe Scouting. I don't think that given the history that you are the right person to try to enforce the rules and rein him in.

The students' school is closed today for security reasons, as threats have been made against the school and individual students. A person cannot be pro-life and wear a MAGA hat in DC, be on camera and remain safe.

Really, I feel like there should be a person in each District who runs around and tells all the volunteers, THANK YOU regularly. So many Scouters are underappreciated.

I'm just curious. Thank you!

Yes and no. The issue that can happen is if these young people are identified and demonized for life, college acceptances revoked, etc. There is a trend towards judging and punishing people because of social media, and that is dangerous territory. Hopefully nothing like that will come of this situation, but it is a real risk.

First of all, THANK YOU for all of the things you do to support Cub Scouting in your area. Second, I am SO SORRY that you have all this drama coming from this man and his "friends". Now, let's get practical. 1. You have a lot going on in your life. This guy is a pain in the rear. Are you willing to push forward and take care of this problem, or do you prefer to go join another Pack? Either answer is OK. 2. Jerk is not the Cubmaster. It is crazy that he buys a uniform, shows up and assumes the role and starts taking over the meetings and conversations. YOU are the Committee Chair, and YOU are in the power position. Your Chartered Organization Representative is even more powerful. 3. Call your Scout executive and tell him or her about the issues with this non registered person playing leader and creating havoc in your group. Stick to the big things -- acting as a Cubmaster without authorization or registration, showing up in uniform and taking over meetings, trying to divide the families and get support for him without ever having registered, how he's starting to try to gain support from your council folks when he's not even registered (!) and the problems with the refusal for the statement of religious principle and background check. Ask your Scout Executive for help. Emphasize his illegitimacy and lack of any training. Ask them for support to help your Pack. See what they recommend, and discuss some of the ideas below with them. The Scout Executive could certainly send a letter downstream to this individual and all of the relevant district staff that this troublemaker is not part of Scouting, period. Ask the Scout Executive to help you make a plan for the survival of your pack. Your key phrases are -- I need help, and we have an imposter leader who is unregistered, refuses a criminal background check, refuses the statement of religious principle and is not YPT trained. It's getting out of control and I need help to fix this situation. 4. I agree with others who say -- change your committee time, date, place, and do not inform or invite the troublemaker. 5. You must formally tell the troublemaker he is not the Cubmaster, not a registered leader, and not welcome at your events, period. Restraining order sounds good to me. You have to be careful that if this person has been verbally abusive, he might become even worse when disciplined. You and the COR are both female, and it sounds like the fake CM feels like he can bully and intimidate you. You might want to have some guys around who feel comfortable standing up to him if he starts to act physically intimidating. Be careful. 6. You must communicate to ALL YOUR FAMILIES that troublemaker is not the Cubmaster. It sounds like he is playing the part and the families are following along. You need to give them the name and contact information for the person they should work with, an interim Cubmaster. 7. You need an interim Cubmaster. Who will do it? Who do you know? You need someone else in uniform who is properly registered to lead your next Pack meeting. Ask your district for help and see if anyone will help you out for 6 - 12 months to support you and get you through this. You need your Key Three -- COR, CC and Cubmaster -- to exist as a Pack. You need to figure out who will help you during this difficult time. If you do not have a Key Three at recharter, you do not have a Pack. Your Scout Executive should care about supporting a Pack in a low-income area. Hopefully he or she will have your back and put some effort into your Pack's survival. 8. Keep your head up. Don't sweat the small stuff. At first, this person (I was going to say parent, but that's not even accurate) sounds like someone with a lot of enthusiasm for Scouting. But, if he's not working with you, he's in the wrong. I would not stress over little things --- if someone wants to suggest something that costs money, that is not the end of the world. If someone wants to plan a fundraiser, that might be good. If someone wants to run a safe pinewood derby car workshop, then that is great. But the problem is that this person has no respect for the chain of command in Scouting, has no training, and is not willing to follow the rules. That is no good. You should welcome all kinds of ideas and suggestions, and even try new things, but this whole charade of acting like the Cubmaster without a proper registration is a big, big problem. 9. If you and your COR and veteran Den Leaders stick together, you can beat this. I think you are beyond working it out with this person. I know you are feeling very upset over this issue when you have put so much into helping your Pack. If he is not leaving, then I think you should move on to an established Pack where you can relax and enjoy. It is OK to cut your losses and move on if you want to. I would probably be visiting other Packs as well as working with your Scout Executive. Plan A is to fix your Pack and get this jerk out of the picture. Plan B is to move to another Pack, either plan is good for you. Best wishes, and I hope that you find a solution that works for your family.

WELCOME GIRLS to the BSA! WELCOME families! I wish you an amazing Scouting experience!!!

I want my kids to learn how to handle guns safely and responsibly. We live where hunting is common and shooting skills are still basic life skills to me.

That's a good question. I would not expect that the council is seeking people to, you know, rewrite their training materials. But I think they would be open to creativity in presentation. And of course, after you volunteer for about a year and the relationship is established, they might ask you to start running whole programs! I think there is probably a bit of relationship-building involved while you work out what you want to do and where you think you fit the best.

I was asked by a guy I met at BALOO (who is our council training director) for names of folks who might want to be on the council training committee. I gave him the names of everybody I know. (Not really, but I gave him a lot of names of people I know from Wood Badge and then I gave him the names of all the "old-time" scouters from our Troop (basically people whose kids have graduated from scouting a few yeas ago.) I told him to "butter them up", meaning, appreciate the scouters! Here's my question for you, Scouters -- if you were asked to participate on your Council training committee, would you? Why or why not? I let our council training direcor know that sometimes the attitude towards council is not rosy. But perhaps a nice invitation and some appreciation and relationship building would do the trick! (Note I am already involved as a regular BALOO Trainer and I will continue to run a Traffic Safety merit badge program annually.)

The problem is that old guard members don't let in any new blood. It's all ego and know-it-all-ism.

Old guard adults are such a pain in the patootie. Tell them that since they have no kids raising funds, they should listen to the people who have kids actually in the troop. If they aren't raising the money, they need to take some freaking input. Email them, call them, complain to them. Complain up the chain. I can't stand old guard leaders who don't serve the membership. Back in the day, in 1980, we did it like this, and my son, who's now 45, did that for his eagle project, yadda, yadda, yadda. Ugh!!!

When I was a den leader and frustrated with some of the committe, I focused my energy on the den and just did what I could to get through the Pack and committee meetings. Put your energy into your den.

Write a letter back. Come to camp. Here are the rules. No interference, and if you interfere, you will be asked to leave the troop. Make sure you have enough drivers w/o the troublemakers.

OK, comrade.

No worries!

That was a very classy letter from national.

Not all DEs are men, nor will they be going forward.