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WisconsinMomma

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Everything posted by WisconsinMomma

  1. WisconsinMomma

    Fitness Goals for Scouters

    How physically fit should a Scouter be? How fit should a middle age or old Scouter be? I tend to care more about mentally awake than physically strong, but how do you define physically strong?
  2. WisconsinMomma

    Girl Scouts Suing the Boy Scouts

    Our troop would rent Girl Scout camps out, but now they are not allowed to, and it hurts the GSUSA camps because now they're not getting our money. There are camps on beautiful pieces of property and I worry that they'll eventually get turned into subdivisions. Ew.
  3. I'm just curious. Thank you!
  4. I was asked by a guy I met at BALOO (who is our council training director) for names of folks who might want to be on the council training committee. I gave him the names of everybody I know. (Not really, but I gave him a lot of names of people I know from Wood Badge and then I gave him the names of all the "old-time" scouters from our Troop (basically people whose kids have graduated from scouting a few yeas ago.) I told him to "butter them up", meaning, appreciate the scouters! Here's my question for you, Scouters -- if you were asked to participate on your Council training committee, would you? Why or why not? I let our council training direcor know that sometimes the attitude towards council is not rosy. But perhaps a nice invitation and some appreciation and relationship building would do the trick! (Note I am already involved as a regular BALOO Trainer and I will continue to run a Traffic Safety merit badge program annually.)
  5. WisconsinMomma

    How should I help my boy?

    Something is up with younger generations doing less volunteering. That said, we do have helicopter parents, and free-range parents, so I'm not sure what's going on. But the trend is on. I think there is less of a civic duty to volunteering and community involvement than there used to be. People move around more and spend more time online, so less time out in their neighborhoods. Not much we can do except be the change we want to see in the world. Good luck with your Scouting adventure and thanks for all you have done for the Cubs!!
  6. WisconsinMomma

    How should I help my boy?

    Based on what you are saying, I would suggest go visiting with other Troops in your area to make your life easier. Your son can find a new group of buddies to hang with and he will learn and grow more in a real patrol environment.
  7. WisconsinMomma

    Closure

    Barry, I can't even have a conversation with you when you're going down the path of saying that I'm over-sensitive, you're logical, and I'm too inexperienced to understand completely how men and women are different. I don't think you realize how patronizing those comments are.
  8. WisconsinMomma

    How should I help my boy?

    It's tough -- basic safety is important, but the kids need some room. Different people have very different tolerances for what is acceptable. The word that jumps out to me in your paragraph above is "punish". Giving instruction and setting boundaries is different from punishment. I don't know if tree climbing is covered in BSA guidelines, but I can understand that it could be a safety hazard. Some people take it too far. One of the former leaders in our troop that I did not get along with corrected my son for sliding his feet on an icy patch on the ground. He was 12. We said that it was micromanaging our son. He claimed that our son could have gotten a concussion and brain damage if he fell. I felt that that person wanted to bubble wrap my kid, and he was not SM or ASM (he was a my-way-only CC). It was not his job to manage our son. He got all huffy about safety, though. Sliding on a little patch of ice! Different points of view, for sure. You'll have to feel it out. Also, I do not get a lot of info from my husband or sons on Boy Scouts. It is frustrating and it took me a year to find a balance with learning how the troop works, and working out basic communication with my husband. However, my spouse goes on all the trips and is an ASM so he is plugged in, I just don't get much of a download. Your husband might be totally hands off and let the boy learn his own way. That can work, but sometimes the kids need support.
  9. WisconsinMomma

    How should I help my boy?

    OK, the son needs some support navigating a difficult situation, and for whatever reason, Dad is not that interested or involved, so Mom is going to help out. Of course the kid still has a dad. But if the kid wants to do Scouting and Dad isn't interested, then he will form other relationships with other Scouters.
  10. WisconsinMomma

    How should I help my boy?

    +1 You call the Scoutmaster and get the update on what exactly happened and where things stand for your son's membership in the Troop at this point in time. I would tell the Scoutmaster that my son would like to continue his membership if possible, and that at this point in time, you (mom) are the main contact for your family. See what he says, and go from there. Offer to talk through any concerns and a process for your son to come back under good terms. Try to make friends with the Scoutmaster and ask if they need any adult volunteers to help out -- so you can find a place in the Troop where you can network with other families and make more friends and a supportive community. If the Scoutmaster is resistant and does not welcome your son back, then go to Plan B and go start meeting with other Troops. Good luck!
  11. WisconsinMomma

    PW Derby Car from past year

    Our pack has nearly no rules for PWD. You make a car and we give out rough measurements for what will fit on the track. Hopefully, all the cars fit on the track and we make onsite modifications and repairs if cars are presented that won't make it down the track. We give fastest and second fastest in each Den awards, as well as best Design in each den awards, and everybody gets a small trophy with their name on it. Yes, we spend a lot on trophies. It works for us. We now have a batch of new parents who seem more rules-oriented, so that might evolve, but for my kids' duration in the pack, it's all about just seeing the car you made run the race.
  12. WisconsinMomma

    PW Derby Car from past year

    OK, imagine you are a 9 year old and your parents just had a nasty split brewing for who knows how many years, and you have a car you made with your Dad who is no longer around, and you and your Dad built this beautiful car together. I imagine, it's a treasure to you. Some adult tells you to take someone else's leftover car? No. That is for a kid whose family didn't have the time or resources to make anything and got caught unprepared. In our experience, this kid's car was slower the 2nd year because it wasn't tuned up or anything. But he had his cool car and I imagine and hope he has some happy memories of building that car. Pinewood derby is for the kids, not the parents, so the main concern should be -- are the kids having a good time? Are they being good sports?
  13. WisconsinMomma

    Closure

    I think what makes a troop vulnerable is when they are light on leadership manpower (heh, heh) and the new folks waltz in. Strong personalities can overpower the existing leadership. Remember that thread with the CC where a parent just showed up in uniform and started acting like he ran the place? It can get crazy out there.
  14. WisconsinMomma

    Closure

    This is not necessarily true, either. You can be sure she doesn't have formal BSA experience, but... take my friend, the daughter of a Montana forester, grew up in the outdoors, whose younger brother was in Scouts and she was always around. Now, does she know everything? No. Does she know some things? Absolutely. Nobody knows everything. I mean, if someone does know everything, they might be unteachable. My friend certainly has a lot to offer.
  15. WisconsinMomma

    PW Derby Car from past year

    I know a family where the mom and dad had a horrific breakup. The dad and son had worked on an incredible car the year before, and the boy ran it twice. I don't know if he had any chance to do another car the next year. Sometimes it's good to put kindness first and not get to picky about the circumstances.
  16. WisconsinMomma

    Closure

    It's "teachable female" that I'm taking issue with, as if, that's a rare combo. Perhaps I misunderstood the intent, but I've noted here that moms often get complained about, and --- they're part of the program too! Yes, I am nitpicking, but, I really don't want moms in general to have a bad rap in the BSA.
  17. WisconsinMomma

    Closure

    There are plenty of teachable females out there! Let's not let a few difficult parents dissuade anyone from making new Scouting friends. And I should take issue with the word "teachable" too -- how about -- females who are new to Scouting and interested in the program?? We really need to be careful just because some moms (and dads) are difficult, we don't generalize that all moms (or dads) who ever ask a question, want to participate, or haven't learned the ways of Scouting yet are terrible people.
  18. WisconsinMomma

    Closure

    Did the person ask you directly? In email? Face to face? Through someone else? I think that short and vague is the way to go, if you choose to reply at all. Something like, "My family has had X great years with Troop XYZ. Recently we've had struggles with campouts and other activities. (or other brief but not-too-specific or accusatory phrase of your choice) It was a difficult decision, especially with our long history and many friends in the troop, but it was the right time for us to move on and we are satisfied with that decision. We wish everyone in Troop XYZ all the best. " "Recently we've struggled with some issues related to the patrol method, advancement, and camping"
  19. WisconsinMomma

    Irate potential cubmaster

    I'm going to pray for you and your whole Pack. I hope it gets better. Big hugs.
  20. WisconsinMomma

    Are there any female Scout Executives in the US?

    That is a big council!
  21. WisconsinMomma

    Irate potential cubmaster

    I am still so sorry. A pushy person can push their way into an organization, and it sounds like this method is working for this guy. It sounds like the commissioners want you to have a CM, any CM, and this one seems to have a lot of energy, and they want you to work it out so you have your Key 3 and then it's less work to try to recruit another CM. Now, do you go along with it, fight it, or move to a different group? From what I am reading, the council can decide to allow a person with a criminal history to volunteer if they decide the person has cleaned up and is on a better path. I am also reading that the Chartered Organization (the church) can still say no thanks. What have the responses been like to the lack of training? I guess my question is, who will work with this Cubmaster and Den Leader to ensure they follow BSA rules? Since they have shown no respect to you, I would think that CC is not the right role for you anymore. (Not your fault, but it's not practical or healthy for you to have to be the person to have to confront the CM and request compliance.) I think in your shoes, I would resign as CC and focus on my Bear Scout. I would probably focus on making the Bear Den experience a good time for that group of boys. A good den is a good thing. Maybe that makes me sound like a quitter, but I think limiting your exposure to this person would be good for you. Why bang your head against the wall? Since you can only control yourself, you have to find where you want to be in this situation. I will mention that I was an interim CM (after 4 years as DL and one year as ACM) with our Pack and recently stepped down because of a conflict that was making my volunteering no fun anymore. Now I am just the parent, and it's awesome! (I still volunteer with a Troop and the Council on other stuff.) I don't generally like pushy Scouters, but on the positive side, they can get a lot of stuff done. He needs to be trained. If he wants to try stuff, that's fine, but they need to follow Safe Scouting. I don't think that given the history that you are the right person to try to enforce the rules and rein him in.
  22. WisconsinMomma

    Omaha Tribe Elder and Others - disrepect at National Mall

    The students' school is closed today for security reasons, as threats have been made against the school and individual students. A person cannot be pro-life and wear a MAGA hat in DC, be on camera and remain safe.
  23. Really, I feel like there should be a person in each District who runs around and tells all the volunteers, THANK YOU regularly. So many Scouters are underappreciated.
  24. WisconsinMomma

    Omaha Tribe Elder and Others - disrepect at National Mall

    Yes and no. The issue that can happen is if these young people are identified and demonized for life, college acceptances revoked, etc. There is a trend towards judging and punishing people because of social media, and that is dangerous territory. Hopefully nothing like that will come of this situation, but it is a real risk.
  25. WisconsinMomma

    Irate potential cubmaster

    First of all, THANK YOU for all of the things you do to support Cub Scouting in your area. Second, I am SO SORRY that you have all this drama coming from this man and his "friends". Now, let's get practical. 1. You have a lot going on in your life. This guy is a pain in the rear. Are you willing to push forward and take care of this problem, or do you prefer to go join another Pack? Either answer is OK. 2. Jerk is not the Cubmaster. It is crazy that he buys a uniform, shows up and assumes the role and starts taking over the meetings and conversations. YOU are the Committee Chair, and YOU are in the power position. Your Chartered Organization Representative is even more powerful. 3. Call your Scout executive and tell him or her about the issues with this non registered person playing leader and creating havoc in your group. Stick to the big things -- acting as a Cubmaster without authorization or registration, showing up in uniform and taking over meetings, trying to divide the families and get support for him without ever having registered, how he's starting to try to gain support from your council folks when he's not even registered (!) and the problems with the refusal for the statement of religious principle and background check. Ask your Scout Executive for help. Emphasize his illegitimacy and lack of any training. Ask them for support to help your Pack. See what they recommend, and discuss some of the ideas below with them. The Scout Executive could certainly send a letter downstream to this individual and all of the relevant district staff that this troublemaker is not part of Scouting, period. Ask the Scout Executive to help you make a plan for the survival of your pack. Your key phrases are -- I need help, and we have an imposter leader who is unregistered, refuses a criminal background check, refuses the statement of religious principle and is not YPT trained. It's getting out of control and I need help to fix this situation. 4. I agree with others who say -- change your committee time, date, place, and do not inform or invite the troublemaker. 5. You must formally tell the troublemaker he is not the Cubmaster, not a registered leader, and not welcome at your events, period. Restraining order sounds good to me. You have to be careful that if this person has been verbally abusive, he might become even worse when disciplined. You and the COR are both female, and it sounds like the fake CM feels like he can bully and intimidate you. You might want to have some guys around who feel comfortable standing up to him if he starts to act physically intimidating. Be careful. 6. You must communicate to ALL YOUR FAMILIES that troublemaker is not the Cubmaster. It sounds like he is playing the part and the families are following along. You need to give them the name and contact information for the person they should work with, an interim Cubmaster. 7. You need an interim Cubmaster. Who will do it? Who do you know? You need someone else in uniform who is properly registered to lead your next Pack meeting. Ask your district for help and see if anyone will help you out for 6 - 12 months to support you and get you through this. You need your Key Three -- COR, CC and Cubmaster -- to exist as a Pack. You need to figure out who will help you during this difficult time. If you do not have a Key Three at recharter, you do not have a Pack. Your Scout Executive should care about supporting a Pack in a low-income area. Hopefully he or she will have your back and put some effort into your Pack's survival. 8. Keep your head up. Don't sweat the small stuff. At first, this person (I was going to say parent, but that's not even accurate) sounds like someone with a lot of enthusiasm for Scouting. But, if he's not working with you, he's in the wrong. I would not stress over little things --- if someone wants to suggest something that costs money, that is not the end of the world. If someone wants to plan a fundraiser, that might be good. If someone wants to run a safe pinewood derby car workshop, then that is great. But the problem is that this person has no respect for the chain of command in Scouting, has no training, and is not willing to follow the rules. That is no good. You should welcome all kinds of ideas and suggestions, and even try new things, but this whole charade of acting like the Cubmaster without a proper registration is a big, big problem. 9. If you and your COR and veteran Den Leaders stick together, you can beat this. I think you are beyond working it out with this person. I know you are feeling very upset over this issue when you have put so much into helping your Pack. If he is not leaving, then I think you should move on to an established Pack where you can relax and enjoy. It is OK to cut your losses and move on if you want to. I would probably be visiting other Packs as well as working with your Scout Executive. Plan A is to fix your Pack and get this jerk out of the picture. Plan B is to move to another Pack, either plan is good for you. Best wishes, and I hope that you find a solution that works for your family.
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