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Devotedautismadhdmom

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About Devotedautismadhdmom

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  1. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    I do, through this all, I have gone to each meeting, head held high, act as though nothing has happened. No need to create tension with the others. With me DE I continue going to him with about other things, while biting my tongue at the irritation and just trying to wrap my head around what was he thinking in his huge push? Something I will never know. But, it's all over now. I can move on to better things. In fact, tonight, I had a Troop visit our Pack meeting, requesting to join our Charter! Everyone is pleased with what they had to say, and excited to grow!
  2. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    Final update. Thank you all for your input. The person in question has made things a bit easier for us. He has left the mother of the scout, so doesn't really have any interest/or need to be in our group any longer. IF he chooses to continue in the child's life, our decision has been made official. His background check cane back with several things in it. My COR asked someone who has been involved in our local scouting for decades. He stated with the level of his background check, first off, he would not accept it. Add that to he is not the scouts parent and no longer in the relationship there really isn't a need for him to be there. Therefore, we had a committee meeting, which it was decided that myself and the COR would send our emails if response to the scout executive, as requested, and they said they would issue the letter on our behalf to him. It just bothers me that our new DE kept fueling his fire so much through this, which I feel excalated it to this level. Again thank you all for helping me witg kind words of encouragement and advice.
  3. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    My COR sent a letter to the council head stating we Did not want this person registered in our unit, and giving reasons, with his violations. I had previously spoke with him and this is what he stated we needed to do. Once he received the email from her, he called her and said they will still run his background check. 2 days later, my DE called me and said Hey! Great news! He is approved, everything came back ok. That I need to come in and pay for his charter. Also, in the same conversation, I have a leader that transferred in, that has been unable to access his account to get his YPT done. We've been trying and working with the local office since Dec. The DE is the one that snooped on the desk and sent his app in, which we were waiting because we knew there was a problem with his account. So now, he told me that my COR will need to email our registrar and have him removed. Once he can get his YPT done we can add him in. So, in short, the DE says I can drop the person, that we have accepted, but NOT the one we have said we do NOT want, who I also reported YPT violations on. I did our recharter in Dec! The registrar says effective Friday, we will not be in effect anymore, unless she receives payment for the 1 person we did NOT have on our Charter and paperwork. (DE sent in separate ) Therefore, as this man has continued to threaten me, I will be giving the COR a resignation letter and withdraw for myself and my son tomorrow night. I can not sign my name to a unit or person that has already violated YPT. Thank you for the concern and follow-up.
  4. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    Ours is, the circumstance as you mentioned, the church board chair. However, I just learned last night that he is not doing well, and is being hospitalized. So, I am not sure who is in his place right now.
  5. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    I only say propose the girlfriend serve as assistant for a short time, to ensure he isn't going to try to overpower and control through her. I think she would be a good CM, BUT her violation of texting the child on his personal phone, without another adult on the thread.
  6. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    That is where I am now. I have spent so much time the last year on getting our unit on top and running great. I felt a huge release lifted from my shoulders once we were where we needed to be. But then, him coming in and making accusation and threats towards me. I am tired. I don't have that kind of a fight in me. As a CC, I should be enjoying the meetings with my son at the den meetings. And my only big concern should be the committee meetings. I can't be in a group that will be putting these kids at risk. I am not going to push my child to their fullest earning fundraisers (he sold $2000 [$880 personal sales, $1120 storefront, which we were the only ones to show up to 7 out of 12], another boy from last year sold $900 in popcorn tgis year. Our total sales with 16 scouts? $4200. That is $1300 sold amongst the other 14 scouts.), only to find the whole groups year of scouting. I think I will send out an email to our executive and Director of field services and tell them I need a private confidential meeting with both of them. Show them the violations of the "CM" as well as the girlfriend. Tell them they can do what they need to with the information. But I propose that he is banned from the group, we seek am interim CM, or ask someone in our group to step up, propose that the girlfriend, if she chooses to stay, be an assistant to a trained interim for a year before promoting. If that can't happen and they also feel he needs to be allowed to continue on, then I will be looking for a new unit for my chikd, as I don't feel he would be treated fairly, nor will I watch violations and risks with kids happen.
  7. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    What really floors me, is the COR talked to the pastor of the church about the situation that happened. When the pastor talked to me about it, she agreed with me that we can't have someone like that in our group. She wasn't happy with about it, but seemed to be on the same page as me, and have him removed.
  8. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    Our scout executive is new this year. Seems real unsure of a lot of things, and came into our previous issue of restarting at the end. During the bulk of it, is was the field Service director walking me through everything. One of the commissioners, her child is close friends with the "cm"s girlfriends sister. Which I am seeing to be as more impartial, and not wanting to cause waves on the homefront end. Which I would have never seen coming from her. I tried talking to my COR last night again and tell her I was turning over all my paperwork if the applications were signed. I explained what the stress this man is doing to me, and have had to go to the Dr the day of the last 2 meetings it got so bad. I tried showing her all the violations they are putting on Facebook, that they have insisted they are allowed to do. As in, they took a female scout to a garage, there are pictures, that I screenshot, that have since been deleted, of him standing by, watching this 4th grade webelo cutting her own pinewood car with the Powersaws. He disclosed a drug arrest in 2013. But a simple Google search shows 2 others that were in the paper. How many more? Can we actually do our own check? As in go get a report from the courts, as it is public record? The commissioners fed into their need to do weekly camping. Said yes, do this and that, here and there. Not once was it mentioned, that therehas to be a minimum of one Baloo trained from the initial meeting and planning, through till everyone is home, and not miss one step, second, etc. No one in our group is trained. Since they said that, he has already told parents of 2 camps we are doing. We can't. He has also reverted to reaching out to each family and communicate with them personally. I can only hope that his post thispast weekend, didn't pan out to him "picking up their child to help them cut their cars". That post was also deleted soon after. The girlfriend, been doing webelo leader, told me last night, one of her boys she was textingback and forth the day before to "knock out a couple requirements". She then texted me last night that she is still texting this child, personally, not through the parent, or with another adult in the thread. This is a violation of youth protection, which I know she took. Another commissioner, his son, was a student of my COR 35 years ago. So she trusted him 100%. They keep telling her and I, he has the drive and ambition needed, I need a cubmaster, etc. So, last night, she signed both of their applications. I refuse to at this point. With the violations, his actions, etc. I was up for proposing her to be the CM, but have been pointed out, that he would only still be the thorn through her. "You can't have a good unit without clear communication and a CC and CM that work well together and trust each other. An even better unit has a great relationship with the COR". I feel my hands are tied now, with people taking personal relationships and putting them above BSAriles and regulations. I really like the idea of asking for an interim CM. I can't honestly sign an application or be a CC of a unit that I see so many violations happening. Mayne my age shows, and I take children's safety and well being as priority number 1.
  9. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    The commissioner and a couple others don't want us to dismiss him. But, to add to his negative points....he keeps conducting things on his own, and his application has not been submitted! And they are ok with this! Then, I found pictures he posted of him watching a 4th grade webelo cutting her derby car! Am I wrong, NO cub Scout is allowed to operate power tools? One of the den leaders said the same thing when she just saw it on her training. He has since removed the post, but I have screenshots of the pictures.
  10. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    Sidenote, in the 4 years, in 5th now, tgis has been a unit, tgis is the most scouts it has had and held from fall registrations to recharter with no drop outs. But was told I have run it into the ground, people are leaving because of how I have run the meetings. But we've lost no one. And parents have left meetings activities and events telling and thanking me for the great time the kids are having.
  11. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    Thank you all for your advise. Wlmy COR and I brought in a commissioner, paraprofessional and a gentleman that holds many hats to our meeting. We were going to have a sit down meeting after the den meeting. The CM asked them why they were there. So he then went to his friends and told them to stay, in front of our pack committee and told them they can go. We just went with the additional people there, no questions asked (meanwhile my phone blowing up from the Committee as to why they were told to leave). The CM immediately said ok let's get tgis started, here is what we are here to discuss. And started his 2 page bullet points. Each of which, was responded with, tgis is already stated in the bylaws you ALL signed off on at signup and again once we got in our new charter organization. He got done, said this meeting is over I'm late for pool league. We weren't able to bring up anytging, which some things, the others didn't need to hear. After a stressful sleepless night, I reached out to one of the attendees and said tgat personally can't sign off on his application, because I do not have the right in me that appears to continue. I felt like he wishes to try to run 100% and change the way our committee runs tgings, and I won't be bullied trying to run committee meetings. He doesn't see the fact that money has to come from somewhere. And the schools we pull from, are the low income schools. Families don't have money to constantly pull from their pockets. His own, only have scraped by on fundraisers to pay for 1 recharter, pack pays for adults. I proposed we ask his GF, the scouts mom, to step in as CM, as she has a level head and understands what I am saying. Those that came from the office felt it was a good meeting. Yes, there were things answered, but not solved as far as his role. Which was the point. They feel I don't want to let go of anything, as I spent the last year with the Committee rebuilding and starting from scratch. Believe me, I want nothing more than to go back to just being a mom at the den meetings and helping and enjoying my son's venture! I have missed so much in the last year! As a cc, at a pack meeting, that's all I should be, according to the job description. I should only be running the Committee meetings, and helping with the planning and paperwork, not directly with the scouts. Isn't that correct? During this restruture, 5 months ago, my son was diagnosed with multiple disabilities. He needs scouting now more than ever! But also needs his mom there with him. Myself, I was also diagnosed at the same time with a muscular skeletal illness,t that this whole situation this past week, has put me in a lot of pain. Right now, more than ever, I need to decrease my load, but not for what I worked for, to be torn up, kids hopes to get up doing something to only be crushed because there is no money. When I said I can't sign off on his, but if they choose they want him to be CM, I said I will have to take my son and we will move to another unit, simply because I can't do they fight, mentally, with him. But I was told I am now the one in the wrong. I think it is my time to step out and wish them luck. I simply wanted a good cubmaster that will take on the proper role of running the pack and den meetings, the hands on with the scouts. As I had been told many times at the roundtables, CM = fun, deal directly with scouts, CC=paperwork, planning and deal with adults. All 16 months of restructure, my DE and FS that have been working with me have told our committee, "it's your pack, follow the guidelines to get things done, how you run your meetings and events, is your choice". I tried is all I can say. Thank you for listening and sorry for my ramble.
  12. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    His girlfriend's son is a tiger. He showed up to a meeting one night, both of them in uniform, application in hands.
  13. Devotedautismadhdmom

    Irate potential cubmaster

    I am the Committee Chair for my unit. Background, my unit is 4 years old. The last 15 months, I have worked massive hours restructuring our broken unit. Starting from ground zero. We just got into our new charter. Have a parent interested in being cubmaster. He spend his days googling cub scouts and tgings to do. We have explained, being we are the unit for the 2 low income schools, we do things that require little to no money, aka low income unit. I came into last meeting, starting give parents upcoming dates and need to knows. He keeps interrupting me telling me I am wrong and arguing with me. Then he gets up and says I need to leave, I have no business there (my son is a bear), I am not running anything right. I stop him and yell him he needs to meet me upstairs to talk with our COR. He proceeded to verbally attack me, say I am being investigated, my only role is to shut my mouth and do things as he says, etc. I have worked along side our district executive to restart our unit. Had I done anything wrong, they would have not aloud us to just sign up with a new charter, that they were there for. The COR informed him that he was not to be doing some of the things he is doing, as at this time, he is not an approved leader. He chose not to sign on the religious principles requirement, or fill out the background check authorization. We attempted to ask about his previous possession charge and he got more irate. He had the COR shaking, as well as myself with his actions. He then went down and individually spoke to each parent, aside from the ones that has been there the prior year, smearing myself and the COR. Myself, 2 veteran DLs, and the COR are not comfortable having our next meeting tomorrow with him there. Myself and the COR set up a meeting with our DE, which later he cancelled. Said our committee chair would be calling me the next day. I wasn't happy with that, as he was not in any of the talks with the potential CM, had never met or talked with him. We wanted the conversation between the DE and CM to be discussed. The DE now says he will be out for the week. My COR is first, saying he needs to apologize first and foremost to me. Second, we are both not comfortable with his actions in front of children. Also, she is concerned with his possession charge. As am I. We can only take his word, but have no way of knowing if that is still his lifestyle. We are unsure of what to do at this point. My anxiety is up so high about our meeting tomorrow night, not having been able to talk to anyone yet. Do we contact our field services person? He know sone of what is happening, and is the one that helped me get out of our Charter and into a new, along with all the transitions. But haven't had much contact since we got our new home.
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