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Welcome! And thanks in advance for all you do for the youth. Sounds like you have two options: A) let the girl Bear with her boy buddies, or B) let her bear with her wolf or Webelos girl buddies. Your decision should depend on who she works with the best. You're not gonna mess up if you work for smiles all around.

Respectfully? It's a big country. Your name may have been given you by the elder of your village. Rejecting it could be seen as a heinous insult to your community. Supporting your fellow scout may involve refusing to join him in folly. What if a scout comes up to you and says, "Sir, I have concluded that we must identify Jonny as Blurf. His parents named him/it wrongly. How soon can we make a hike to the court house to ratify the name change?" What if Johnny/Blurf's parents don't approve? What if they do but his family matriarch does not? Insulting her could result in several cousins leaving the troop. The considerations vary by locale, and since most of us have youth from different (albeit often subtly different) cultures, a simple solution one-size-fits-all solution may not apply. What if the parents think the name change is a great idea (maybe "Johnny" was given by a priest who was recently found to be corrupt) but the scout doesn't? @askyourspl, is the parent really okay with this? Is the scout of a particular tribe? Are your other scouts? (Seriously, this is a consideration.) At the end of the day, this information and a discussion with your ASM's and commitee should determine how you handle this. Unless I happen to be in your troop, no opinion of mine would be helpful.

@Chris1, don't revise history... Registered and trained adult female advisors or associates were never required for a coed crew. An adult female did not need to be present for crew meetings or daytime activities (coed or otherwise) ... only for overnights. The revised requirements could very well crush venturing. Lacking any evidence of a spike in girls being victimized by their male leaders, this requirement is purely defensive against projected litigation of incidents in BSA4G.

Christmas is coming I'm betting our troop's white-elephant gift exchange will have at least one Scouts Handbook for Girls wrapped in cammo duct tape. I'm betting our more rugged boys will trade for it.

I think the general emphasis on immediate recognition gives us a sense that National's advancement team would rather us respond to scouts sooner rather than later. This makes sense. Three months may be a blink of an eye for those of us who wait for peer-reviews, but it is a long time in a boy's mind. Boys in upper ranks often are becoming responsible citizens and committing weekends to good things besides camping. So, if you're only available for upper-rank SMC's on troop camp-outs, you probably should find an ASM who you trust to handle the boys who aren't gonna be on the next couple of camp-outs.

I think it's fair to let the scout know that you will have to talk to a parent. (After all, your "salary" comes from parents and not the taxpayers.) How he responds may give you some warning of what hazards lay ahead. It's also fair to let him know that you've never come across this way of dealing with life, so a simple "okay, fine" might not be an immediate offering.

This whole thing precipitated because the GS/USA narrowed its lane to deny many girls some desirable programs. I would rather endure the semblance of co-ed if it lets the one "side" see that the other "side" is playing from the same book. If Venturing is any indication, girls in Scouts USA will avoid any whiff of being pandered to. Any girls who ask me to SM their troop better be prepared to only by the "boy's" book.

Um, @FireStone, this week, our state's Catholics are reeling from the unveiling of the ramifications of a very broad, seemingly -- at the time -- rational, "don't tell the parents, let the Bishop handle it, he'll tell parents if they need to know" mode of operation. Of course, what we don't know is how many boys and girls were protected from abusive parents by honorable priests who used their calling to provide sanctuary as the Church intended. But, the general consensus is that creating a space where youth could be shielded from their families also created an opportunity for some malicious adults (sometimes as a group -- so much for two-deep ) to insert themselves and reap havoc. That havoc to those youth outweighed any benefit to many other youth. Requiring teachers in NJ (or most other states with similar policies) to work a "what happens in school stays in school" strategy might not sound like the good sense that it seems to be making in your neck of the woods. Perhaps we should not draw too many parallels between agents of the state and other institutions. But, if that is the case, then one cannot argue that it is 'rational' to have what is required for such agents be required of a volunteer of a CO to whom parents willingly entrusted their child with an expectation of transparency.

Almost on que, another international example from Bryan on Scouting I like how some of the in-country volunteers were also scouts from that country.

Props to everyone for not making this about membership. It's not. Let's also not make this about abusive parents. Impulsive decisions are part of adolescence. Great parents can have impulsive kids. In fact, most parents have impulsive kids. That's why we spend a lot of time training kids about fire, knives, and a whole bunch of other harmful things. In the process, we often see or hear from an impulsive youth in ways that make us pause, not because a given impulse is out of the ordinary per se, but because we think it could be part of a larger constellation. Or, because we think that impulse will result in a culture clash. Either way, if all evidence points to the scout having decent parents, talk to the parents and the scout in the order that makes sense. It's okay to be honest that you've never dealt with anything like this before, and you're not sure the scouts' friends have either. So, just like with knives and fire and a host of other fairly innocuous things, you don't necessarily want to cater to the scouts' every wish, but you don't want to kick him/her to the curb either.

I think Barry is concerned about some more nefarious https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria The worse thing one could do is think glibly "Oh, here's a budding LGBTQIA." When in fact there is a youth who is trying to quell some more brutal dissatisfaction.

3) The conferences on campouts seem to be less rushed, more relaxed, and more reflective. The SM may simply want each boy to get the best upper-rank conference possible, and his experience has led him to realize that this policy promises the ideal personal growth discussions.

Don't ask for an advance on trouble. What you are dealing with today is hard enough.

There's no guidance from BSA that I know of. I like @TMSM's answer. But it will set you up for more interaction with the PL on how the boys are dealing with it. Not necessarily bad, unless they decide that bullying is the way to deal with it! But @Eagledad's is right that understanding what the scout's parents are going through is important. It's fair to let them know that you're a little blind-sided by this, and ask them if there's anything going on that you've been missing. Your CO might want to come down on this as well, so let the COR know (probably without naming the scout, for now). Like any issues of moral weight, it's going to take some listening to figure out what the scout is really after.

It doesn't hurt to ask, and I hope the SM can flex on this. But the reality is that we tend to do that kind of flexing for 17.4 year old Star scouts and not 13 year old First Class scouts. (That said, we wouldn't ask the scout whose conference got deferred to wait an entire month.) However, if this were my son, I'd ask his patrol to plan a camp-out on the one Friday or Saturday night that he's free. If the SM or I can't chaperon, he could invite two other scouters to camp at a distance. (FWIW, this is a standing offer that I personally put on the table to the patrols in my troop.) Invite the SM to drop by for dinner, dessert, or breakfast and the SMC.

You all need to lighten up. My SM never held personal growth conferences for upper ranks during meetings. We'd usually walk over to his house on a Saturday. He'd pull his advancement records out of his shoebox, and make sure his book and ours were synced. I often help the SM conferences at meetings with scouts because there is simply too much going on that demands his attention. This policy allows your troop's SM to get good quality time with the boys. Embrace it. There's nothing that prevents a scout from having his SMC with an MB outstanding or maybe a week or two pending in his leadership position . If the boy has exigent circumstances that prevent him from making it to wherever the troop is camping, the SM will flex. Otherwise, respect the man's time, and enjoy this unique opportunity that he is offering to your boys: an ideal setting to reflect on their scouting career .

So one of the fun things about being a scouter is watching young men follow in your footsteps, or maybe not ... I've told you all about how some times we wanted to grab the "Eagle Project of Troop ###" banner that often hang by some of our more public works, grab some spray paint, and add a footnote: "we take bad kids." Just like can happen in land navigation, a scout can choose to take "the long cut" into adulthood and all you can do is watch. Especially thanks to social media, there are a few moments you wish you could unsee, but there they are. And there you (or your wife, or your kids) are helping a young adult and his wife and kids make his new "patrol" to the next mile marker, then the next, etc ... But, when your family is wondering how some furniture is gonna get hauled to your lake house, you tell them to ask their friends with trucks, and they say, "but we don't have friends with trucks", and you say, "Um that interweb thing on your handhelds?", and they give you blank looks, then say "Why don't you FB your friends and see if that actually works?", so I do. Guess which former scout actually responds? Anyway, he was happy to take that odd job in exchange for a day by a Great Lake with the family. I had to also try and fix our grey-water tank. (Which he had never seen, but having worked a couple of fraking platforms, he grasped the concept right quick.) So he helped me pop the concrete lid and jimmy the pump, and when we saw that the check valve was shot, Mrs. Q offered 50 bucks to help fix it. He went with her to get the replacement pump while I mowed the lawn. When they got back, he jumped right in, and between the two of us, we got ourselves a septic system that had 90% less stink. The moral of the story is two-fold: 1. Those scouts who try your patience may be the first to lend a hand in a pinch. 2. If you try your SM's patience don't take his forbearance for granted, it may not be tomorrow or even next year. But, sooner or later you may find yourself at the bottom of his latrine. Revenge is best served cold.

This seems to be a natural next step for the Troop Webmaster position of responsibility. Any very good website requires a team effort. I've offered such leadership opportunities to venturers, and they passed because they knew what it entailed. I know of one from our troop that involved collecting children's books for World Vision Relief and Development. However, the shipping warehouse is just down the road, so all of the work effort was local. I've read of other projects where with a global scope. The fact is, some of our fellow citizens are involved in relief work in far-flung parts. The scouts who they know get invited to participate in some small way and their world-view expands. In return, some of those scouts would naturally desire their Eagle project to benefit the charity that opened their eyes to the needs of a hurting world.

Great link, @The Latin Scot. I suppose it's comforting that parents won't see anyone from LDS nudging them to swamp our units with their little ladies -- in spite of this statement on the very same link (emphasis mine): It's a big country. And a lot can happen in a year.

@ValleyBoy I have seen more scouts with a paperwork mish-mash that I'm just waiting for my district advancement chair to approach me at round-table and tell me to have my scouts clean up their act. These scouts are often the boys who drift into meetings only when they need something relevant to advancement. They wouldn't admit it, but I suspect the boy and/or his dad who you talked to were intentionally running an end around the committee. I think independent project plan review is good learning experience for scouts. We need to get it out of our heads that Eagle should possible or even probable for any scout getting reviewed by the district.

Oops, I just used "Mormon" on the other thread. Gotta get out my PC correction tape!

@gblotter, not trying to poke the bear. Just want to have know the range of what scouters are planning to do. Suppose your father-in-law stumbles across a CO that says, "Great, but we also have these five girls and a teachable Mom ..." Will he flex for them? Or, will he move on to the next CO? Are you enthused about the new LDS offerings? The global focus impresses me. Looks good on paper -- like something I try to arrange for my church's youth. But I'm getting an apprehensive vibe from folks at street level. I have a friend who is in the LDS church and he always touches base with me about scouting. Even though his son never was involved in it much, he seems a little disappointed about his church loosing the scouting program. On the other hand, they've always had a tough time garnering the leadership to make a great troop. (This probably explains why his son was more involved in soccer than scouts.) I haven't had a chance to talk to LDS kids (scouts or otherwise) to hear what they think. My guess is if even 10,000 of them nationwide want to join a troop -- for whatever reason -- we volunteers will have to scramble to make it work for them. Part of that would indeed include making sure they get their Sabbath fulfilled in an honorable fashion. I could imagine some troops hosting a patrol of LDS 1st-years that would go easy on the camping requirements so that the boys' could fulfill their religious duties.

From the aquatics safety https://www.scouting.org/health-and-safety/gss/gss02/regarding supervisory personnel Not sure how much of this quote could apply to YPT. But, none of us should be strangers to BSA telling us "At the end of the day, your judgment is needed to make this work."

?? show me where in it explicitly states that as a condition for starting an Eagle project.

@carebear3895, ground truth: which group has opportunities varies by location and has nothing to do with a nationally recognized rank. BSA lost two of my young relatives because their SM refused to make good on the promise of scouting by overriding youth leadership frequently and often, and scheduled outings as a second priority to MB weekends. The boys visited TLUSA which seemed to be enjoyable, but there were other problems ... specifically, I don't think their sisters would ever be invited on activities. (Pity, because one can start a fire in a rainstorm with natural materials. Good to have around.) National rules about air-soft battles and height limits on pioneering towers didn't help.