UncleP

I know that my question sounds foolish, since merit badges are such a big part of scouting. However, I have noticed that my nephew and many of the other scouts in his troop seemed to concentrate on them to the exclusion of other things. My nephew tends to be obsessive complusive, so it is worse with him them most. I also think he is using the merit badges as an excuse not to deal with parts of the program he is unused to. Retreating into reports and defining terms (things he is used to), to avoid dealing with the others (things he is not used to). I know merit badges are required to g

I just got an email from Amazon with suggested books, and one of them was Donn Fender's book about his experiences. I have not read, but here is a link to the Amazon page for the book in case anyone is interested: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DB365QG/ref=pe_851940_214197970_em_1p_6_ti

They also have a YouTube channel where they post their videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEmQR5W4PkcSLfLV96SOH7w It is a good channel, and for a boy who learns best on his own the videos give him a chance to practice in between troop meetings.

This story appeared in my new feed, and it seemed so positive that I decided to share it: http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/the-only-boy-scout-troop-where-age-doesnt-matter-it-was-like-coming-home/

I am starting to get more hopeful that my nephew will benefit from scouting. He seems to be finding his place in the group. and be receiving the following benefits: 1. He is starting (just starting) to relax more and have some fun like a normal boy. He is finding out that the weekends can consist of more than being quiet while his parents nap their lives away. I think that this is the most important thing for him - having fun. It will keep him from feeling deprived and different, and will hopefully keep him from too much self pity. He loves to hike and the scoutmaster says that is sh

Home sick, so I have been net surfing. I found this movie about the Jamboree in 1953 at Irving Ranch, CA: I certainly highlights how much the world has changed.

Than you for your suggestion. I will look into it further, and see if this could be an issue. My nephew has excellent verbal and written communications skills, but just does not get much of a chance to use them. I still think that a great deal of his problems stems from his environment. It is like growing up in solitary confinement. You do not develop any social skills, because you are never given a chance to. I know, because I was brought up pretty much the same way. It was only when I started working and got kicked around by life that I learned how to work with people. The world toda

Thank you for your suggestion. At his school's psychologist suggestion he is already seeing a counselor, but it is a long process. It was the counselor who suggested they try and get him into some outside school activity. I thought scouting would be a good fit, because he likes animals, the outdoors, and always wanted to see the places other ids were talking about. Unfortunately, I did not really understanding scouting. I thought you just went camping and hiking, and that the adults ran everything. I had never heard of "boy led", "positions of responsibility", or the "patrol method".

Thank you. You are so right about time. As long as he keeps at it, he will get there. If my nephew has any one special talent it is being a hard worker. I would like him to stick with the scouting until he makes First Class. He can then decide what he wants to do. That way he will have given things a fair chance, and if he decides to try something else he will neither be quitting nor failing. If he thinks he succeeded (at least a little) that ca be something positive he can build on.

Thank you for your kind words. I think things will get better, but it is like stitches - as they heal they start to itch. As we deal with all of this it brings up a lot of "garbage" that we normally do not deal with. But it is better to deal, with it now rather than later.

I took the advise I was given and emailed my Nephew's Scoutmaster. I explained to him my nephew's situation, and pointed out some pitfall that occur with him. The main one being to overestimate him. In school because he is a good student and mature, they are always trying to use him to tutor another kid, or so other duty. The results are always the same - disaster. With each disaster he becomes that much more misanthropic. I acknowledged that my nephew has to meet the same requirements as everybody else, but asked him not to push him too hard on the social items. I thought that just

Thank you for your response. If by "Spectrum" you mean autism, then no he is not autistic. He had dyslexia, but received special education and over came it. They say he is hyperactive (but what boy isn't). If he suffered from autism the special education teachers would have found it. The problem is the environment he is in, and how he has over-adapted to it. Being silent, solitary and emotionally unresponsive is required to deal with his family life. I am going to work with him, about taking things one-step-at-a-time. The problem he is used to planning everything in detail just t

Thank you for your concern. I checked and though it is bad parenting, it does not meet the definition of abuse. I am afraid that dysfunctional family life is the norm in my family. I am concerned, that is why I am trying to help him. The world is full of bad people. At this time, my nephew has no skill set to deal with them. I want to help him develop people skills that will allow him to deal with people in a positive, socially acceptable manner.

Thanks to everyone for their comments. I think it helped. To clarify things: 1. I did not mean any criticism of the Scoytmaster. I think he is a fine man, putting a great deal of time and effort i nto a job, whose only rewards are intangible. 2. I have been trying not to ask too much of the scoutmaster, because I do not want my nephew treated as special. I do not want him to grow up and be a "snowflake" that as an adult has to be given a teddy bear and crayons, because someone says something he does not like. 3. He literally knows no one - a. SCHOOL: He goes to public s

Excuse my ignorance, but could someone provide some detail on this requirement. His Scoutmaster is always asking the boys to invite a friend to scouting, and when my nephew tells him that he does not know anyone, he will not take "no" for an answer. I am certain that he means well, and is probably required to do this, but he seems to have trouble accepting that my nephew cannot do it. This has become sort of a "boogieman" for my nephew. I want to help him deal with it, but I do not know what to tell him. I thought the "invite a friend" things was just a "throw away" item. Something th

You can get a great many of these books for free on "archive.org". They even have recorded readings of some book: https://archive.org/details/librivoxaudio?and[]=boyscouts Much of this literature is before WWII and even WWI, and some was done with the Boy Scouts authorization.

I found this odd bit of history and thought I would share it. This film starred Randolph Scott and was shot in 1936. When they did location shooting in Sherwood Forest, CA, the studio hired and Eagle Scout to show the actors playing Indians how to start a fire with flint and steel. The link below is to a source for this information. Just an interesting bit of trivia. http://www.tcm.com/tcmdb/title/80897/The-Last-of-the-Mohicans/notes.html

Finally, I get to use my management degree. The management phrase is "span of control". This refers to how many people report directly to a leader. Most organizations prefer to have as broad a span of control as possible, so that they will require fewer manager (less costs). A narrow span of control is preferable for boy scouts for the following: 1. Creates more leadership positions, so more boys get a chance at these positions (since scout are not paid salary costs are not a concern). 2. Capability of Workers: The less skilled the workers, the narrower has to be the span of

Just for fun, I found a video done by two YouTubers one an Eagle Scout and one a former British Boy Scout discussing the differences between the two organizations. Both men are now adults. Warning some of the the discussion is a little irreverent (?). Apparently, the former British scout was surprised by the religious aspects of BSA and the merit badges involving shooting. The American Boy Scout was surprised by the length of the hikes. From their discussion, it looks like British Boy Scouts does not have a rank similar to Eagle Scout. From what I have learned, som

I am speaking as an interested outsider to scouting, so I am speaking out of ignorance and about to make a fool of myself. I have read the other comments and agreed and disagree with parts all of them. When my nephew got interested in scouting I did a great deal of research on the organization. Obviously I did not look on things as a scouter or even an ex-boy scout – having never been one. I look at it from an organizational level, and as someone deeply concerned about the way boys are treated in our society. First the treatment of boys: In my impression boys today are all treated li

Thank you for the suggestions. I think I get the underlining theme. I will get him some paracord to practice knots with. He has already located a website "Animated Knots" to learn knots from. It even has a specific webpage for "Scouting Knots": http://www.animatedknots.com/indexscouting.php?LogoImage=LogoGrog.png&Website=www.animatedknots.com#ScrollPoint He likes learning knots, because he can work on it by himself and at hos own pace.

I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words, encouragement and advise. It all helped me to help my nephew a little more. You cannot imagine how much it meant to him to be able to go in-and-out a door without having to sneak through, so he does not wake his father up. To talk to someone without his mother acting like it is a mortal sin. To even breathe air that does not smell of his father's flatulence. To him it was a miracle. I think he is having trouble dealing with the other boys, but that was to be expected. He has not had much of a chance to build social skills. I cannot

My nephew just got back from summer camp, and from what he has told me things went well. Of course their were rough spots, but more good than bad. He earned his merit badge in swimming and took the First Year Camper program. Being outdoors, the change in environment was therapeutic for him. It showed him that the world is more than being quiet for his parents naps. It is amazing what a change can do for a boy. The rough spots included dealing with the other boys, and the lack of privacy. He is a little obsessive compulsive, so the dirty and disorder got to him. He found the activ

When my Nephew joined scouts, I made a donation to the San Francisco Bay Area Council. They use "Rally.org". I put in the "notes" section that if possible the funds be used to support scouts who could not afford scouting. Maybe you can start up a page like the San Francisco Council. Below is a link to their page at Rally.org: https://rally.org/SFBAC I should state that I do not know anything about Rally.org other than that the San Francisco Council uses them. I would be willing to donate. It would be purely for selfish reasons. The way things have been going lately, I n

I want to thank everyone for replying to my question. I have learned a number of things: 1. I will never be able to completely internalize the way scouting works, it is just too different from my own life experiences. It's like the old Marx bother's joke - "Are you going to believe me or your lying eyes". I am just too much of a loner, and too used to living in my own world. 2. It is not necessary that I understand, because my nephew is the one doing things. I think I need to do the following (in order of importance): a. Have confidence in him and let him try and fail a