WisconsinMomma

Where my mind goes is -- how will this boy treat his homecoming date if they are alone, etc? What if he has a babysitting job or other unsupervised exposure to children? Unfortunately, behavior like this, especially if undisciplined, can become a pattern. So the kid needs to be taught the hard lesson now and hopefully it sticks.

It's a lot less expensive to hire a trainer and buy healthy food than it is to pay for surgery and disease treatment, fwiw. Thrifty!

I chose to resign as CM this morning after a difficult committee meeting last night. I couldn't sleep well. There is an ACM who was on deck to take the role in February so it's just shortening things by a few months. My issues are a few: a few very negative, new committee members, a divisive feeling in the committee overall for more than a year, and the feeling that I would be able to do nothing to relieve the negative sentiment. Some folks think the Pack is terrible. Parts of the Pack are rough (pack meetings, kind of, for a lot of reasons), but I like to see the glass as half full. Rather than get sucked in and become unfriendly and discourteous, I felt it was better to leave immediately. Volunteers who go unappreciated, unthanked and are not handled with kindness do not last forever. This might be a learning experience for the Pack leadership, but it might not be, either. I am OK with that. I will be OK sleeping at night, and I will be OK helping out on very specific tasks if I'm asked to. Now I will be better focused on supporting my youngest's den leader, and working on Wood Badge / Boy Scout committee stuff. Yay!

Note there is nothing wrong with breathing machines, but it might make sense for Scouters to think about our own physical activity and conditioning for our own enjoyment and ability to participate.

This is the photo that inspired the topic When I went to wood Badge, a group was put in a cabin because they all had night breathing machines

Yes, the beads are earned through the ticket, which is 5 volunteer projects for Scouting. Last night I was feeling like I might give up and not finish my ticket, but here are my items 1) help teach BALOO (I have twice). 2) make a new Cub scout welcome kit for our Pack, 3) run a Traffic Safety merit badge clinic for council 4) research and write a presentation about ADHD and Scouting for our district and 5) write an article about ADHD and scouting for publication. I chose fairly challenging ticket items. and it will add up to many hours of work for the council.

And, this needs to be documented in case these boys ever pull this crap with another kid.

Since this is your son who was mistreated, I suggest bringing in the committee chair or scout executive to help you and back you up. You can't handle this one alone, get some help. Have you talked with the SPL's parents about what happened? I would also consider having the SPL and possibly the PLC sit out the next outing or two, to give them some time to think and reflect on their inappropriate actions, and to give your son some safety without the bullies around. I would suggest creating this kind of a safe environment for any kid who was victimized, btw. Maybe it's an opportunity to start some new friendships with no distractions or negativity.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this but these young men need to be taught what is appropriate and what is not, and there is no tolerance for bullying or hazing of this nature in the BSA. They need to learn in no uncertain terms what they did was wrong, and it benefits them to learn that lesson in a very memorable way now so they don't go and make even worse mistakes as they grow older.

Yeah, skip the fact that he threatened to sexually assault a youth with special needs? Not listening to or respecting the kid who said no and attacking him four more times? Way to give the kid an out. Think about this kid who was assaulted having to deal with this other kid in the future. How will he feel in the Troop when all his "friends" sat by and laughed while he was being bullied in such a vulgar way.

3 months? That's it? To me, that's very light for something very vulgar and un-Scoutlike. And... "a similar act of poor Scout Spirit" -- just no. There should be no more similar acts. A similar act, from my point of view would be dismissal from the Troop. Are you going to discuss this act of sexual bullying and youth-on-youth abuse with your Scout Executive? I think you need to.

You have to know someone's personality to know whether they accept being teased or not. Some people enjoy it, others don't. It is up to the person who might tease to get to know another person and have some sort of relationship in place where they know it is OK to have that form of joking. Different people have different senses of humor, and it is the joke-teller's job to know their audience. It is not automatically OK to tease. It is always better to err on the side of politeness and kindness. An industrial psychologist once taught me about this. He mentioned how he could tease Mary in HR about her "drinking problem" and she would just laught it off, but he would never joke with me like that, because I think it's stupid. Somehow he figured out that Mary was more jovial and I'm not. I do not have to change my sense of humor, he adjusted his style to work with different people.

On the one hand, this sounds like a local thing, if EVERYTHING is cornball. However, Cub Scout campfires with skits and songs are part of Scouting. There are a lot of lessons in getting up in front of people and attempting a skit, working together with other performers, and putting together an entertaining program. If you opt out of a campfire program, that's fine. We were just at camp last weekend and had a campfire with skits. The whole thing took maybe 15 minutes. 1. Wolves sang "Father Abraham" with some moves. This was good to warm up, since it was cold. 2. Arrow of Light did the -- We Don't have a Skit, skit 3. Bears did -- Emergency Broadcast system 4. Webelos sang and danced to -- I'm a chubby penguin, you're a chubby penguin, we are chubby penguins! They were all quite good, considering they are 7 - 11 year olds. Then the leaders said some comments thanking parents for bringing their kids to camp. Then everyone stood around the campfires and warmed up and then went back to the cabins. If you're going to have a campfire show, it should be interesting and fast paced. The point of it is to give the kids an opportunity to work together, show off a little and develop some showmanship skills. It is a small piece of camping! The only campfires we do are this one at our Pack campout, and if you go to our Council summer camp, they put on a good show. Different kids like different things. Some kids LOVE skits! My den loved skits a lot, they would do skits all day if you let them. We had an improv group come in for Blue and Gold entertainment because it was right up their alley.

Yes, I think we are getting to that point. Our Committee Chair made a meeting schedule and outlines for them, and all it needs is for some of the Bear parents to now run the meetings and schedule. It is time for a hand off and let them struggle a bit and see who steps up. I know that some of the parents have been directly asked, but I am not sure that all of the parents have been directly asked.

How physically fit should a Scouter be? How fit should a middle age or old Scouter be? I tend to care more about mentally awake than physically strong, but how do you define physically strong?

I like, wore my Wood Badge hat at a Cub campout this past weekend and I think it might have been considered too showy!

Wait, there are 365 days in a year???

Oh you guys, I have to finish my WB tickets! Great discussion.

Youtube videos may also be helpful to see how different packs load up.

There are straps for attaching a bed roll. My boys stuff their sleeping bag into compression sacks and put them inside their packs. If you have an REI store near you, go there during a quiet time of day and ask a sales associate to run you through the newer backpacks' features.

Hi Scouters, So we have a Bear den that currently has no leadership. Our Committee Chair is helping the Bear Den, and I am helping the Bear Den. But we need the Bear den to help themselves!! The committee chair has made a meeting schedule with topics I helped the Bear Den with activities on the Fall Camping trip and spent the weekend running the kids through activities (parents tagged along). They just don't have a leader. Some candidates, but no one has stepped up: 1. A guy who tried to be den leader but it just didn't work, he struggled. He now is working more hours and we've given him the role Assistant Den Leader. 2. A guy who travels a ton and isn't around much. His wife is our new COR and summer activities chair. 3. One dad I thought was helpful. I think he's a good candidate 4. One dad a committee member thinks is interested but his kid is very very shy and seems young developmentally. This kid sits out a lot and observes. We talked about recruiting someone our Fall Camping but I did not get that job done. We got home yesterday. When I'm working with the kids I don't have time to make relationships with the parents. We need to do the next steps to figure out how to get this den to stand on its own feet. I am willing to help, but I am not going to run this den all year and our Committee Chair helps with the Lions and she does a LOT already. Plus, in a little over a year the CC and I are moving out of Cubs and we can't leave a burdon on the people behind us. We are thinking of parting the job out to different parents. If the parents don't want to put in the effort, then they don't get a den, isn't that right? Where would you put the line of -- OK, no leaders, no den, on them? It's probably about now. I'd like my role to be something like -- if you need coaching on how to do something, call or email me. We have a Bear Leader handbook and it has all the info!

Hold the phone, let's confirm what Cub Scouts can do in boats. Is this no longer accurate? https://blog.scoutingmagazine.org/2016/05/05/cub-scouts-swimming-and-boating/

Oh it's one thing to say you're going to file a lawsuit and another thing to actually do it. It might be a lot of hot air in the long run. I am sure there will be some lawsuits, but I think most folks are big talkers.

Yes, but I feel with Scouters, time is of the essence. We don't know how long we'll have our volunteers for. It is good that we have position specific training required, and that is a pre-req for Wood Badge. You need to be trained in your position. If we make it too leveled, then you have potential issues with Scouters feeling like they outrank one another, and that is a bunch of drama we don't need. I'd grab a Scouter, find a training and have them go for it. Wood Badge is a commitment because it's 2 weekends. Some of my WB Patrol mates were Cub Scouters and they were delightful, and in Scouting for the long haul. Yay! Many of the online trainings go over the patrol method and that's great!

I think that if the Scouter has worked with male Scouters and it's not working, try a female Scouter. My Wood Badge course director was female, and I kind of idolized her, she was great, and so when she made a recommendation not to do XYZ, I listened to her with less resentment than I would if some guy I had no connection to and who was maybe not my best match to work with gave me a recommendation not to do XYZ. Does that make sense? The example was, I offered to go help with NYLT training, and she advised me to find a ticket item working with Cub (where I had more experience). So I became a BALOO trainer. Now, over the course of Wood Badge, I had shared with my troop guide, who I'm sure shared with the team, that I was struggling finding my way with some pushback and in particular, one not-so-welcoming person in the troop. So the advice they gave me was good. I stuck with Cubs, where I had years in the program, and more friends, and... with some time I was able to get an in as Troop Secretary, they had no one else! I was volunteering! How could they say no!!?? The guy who I had trouble with raked me over the coals for my first set of minutes. Now I can look back at it and laugh and laugh. They really didn't want me, but hey, here I am! You got nobody else. And I am not that bad, I was just new, female, and I knew a few things about Scouting (from hanging out here!) For me, as a woman, Wood Badge was an important part of me gaining some credentials to help people see me as, you know, sightly qualified to have input. Back to that first round of meeting minutes, I cried. I had put a couple hours into make them the best darn meeting minutes I could, and I had re-formatted them (like, used a different font, changed some wording to make it nicer. I put the Scout Oath and Law on the minutes in the free space!) so I owned them. One person hated that anything had changed. I got the email from hell and they changed everything back to the way it was. I cried. My husband saw me crying and thought I was totally over reacting, but he didn't feel what I was feeling -- total rejection from the Troop. In another matter, I suggested that something he did might upset the same (control freak) Troop adult. My husband said -- I'm a volunteer! I don't care what he thinks! If they don't like it that's his problem! LOL. I have adopted more of my husband's attitude. Tough cookies if you don't like the font that the minutes are done in. LOL. We've got bigger things to take care of! And, I'm a volunteer -- people should say -- thank you to volunteers a lot more often, don't you think?? You suck doesn't really get a lot of repeat business. It helped that my course director is VERY "successful", or, well-respected in Scouting. Here she is the course director with a huge staff who loves her, and she is a Silver Beaver. What a great role model for me. And really, she's a magnificent leader. You could just tell by how well the course staff worked together and had fun throughout the whole time. Maybe it doesn't need to be a female, but someone she can click with who can get enough of a relationship going to be able to offer suggestions. If there is no relationship it is not easy for a person to listen to feedback. It's not about gender necessarily, it's about finding the right fit. But in a male-dominated organization, working with a fellow female is a real treat. I'll add that as a Cubmaster, I am closest to our female Committee Chair in Cubs. Of course, our kids were in my den together, and I've known her for years, our older kids are in the same troop together. But I talk to her and interact with her more than any of the guys. Mostly because of our roles, but I am very thankful for that relationship. Maybe the female Scouter has some stress or fears in her life about Scouting and how it all works that another Scouter can help empathize with and alleviate. Relationships take time. I was at a conference in the Spring where there were about 700 attendees and 30 were women. One woman came right up and introduced herself to me and we spend quite a bit of time together. Another female came up to me and I spent a lot of time with her too. It makes you feel less weird when you find someone like you in those situations.