"Merit Badge Meeting" signoff...what would you do?

[dg98adams 18]

A little late to this show, but as a District Advancement member, and a Merit Badge Councilor myself I certainly have a problem with this Merit Badge Councilor.

 

If it was my son (and he has seen this 1st hand), you are doing the right thing discussing it with him to see where he stands on it.

 

As others have said, and rightly so, the Merit Badge Councilor is outside the influence of the SM, but should be accountable to the District and the Scout for "no more no less" when it comes to the Merit Badge.

 

I would also keep an eye out for any more of the "Troop Merit Badges" that are done this way... and encourage your son to question it respectfully, if he feels they are not covering the requirements as written.

 

Now that my son (and daughter) are on camp staff, they see from my perspective that working with the requirements as written are how the Merit Badge is EARNED and not GIVEN AWAY..... there's always someone (some times not the Scout) who wants to do less or short-cut the process... and need it explained that's not how it works.

 

 

God luck on this effort. and I hope your son's wrist heals so he can EARN his badge (Per Fitness is a hard nut for a new Scout).(This message has been edited by dg98adams)

[DLChris71 10]

Once I stepped out of the car and personally talked to the MBC it became my business. At the very least I would talk to my son about the situation and ask him if he really felt it would be honorable to accept this award without the conditions being met. Then I personally would contact the council, DE, CC, and Scoutmaster about the situation.

 

Ignorance would have been bliss, and I bet that other parents might be completely oblivious to this. But as are an Eagle Scout the ethical dilemma is very apparent and it is important to scouting everywhere to take a stand.

 

We're not talking about some simple thing here that a person should just sit on. We're talking about something that rightly anyone with an ounce of integrity should be angered about and stirred to take action to correct. So this is not the case of some helicopter parent over reacting and whining.

[Brewmeister 132]

We're talking about something that rightly anyone with an ounce of integrity should be angered about and stirred to take action to correct. So this is not the case of some helicopter parent over reacting and whining.

 

This is the nut of it. I am angered about the process but, as a new Boy Scout parent, I wanted to be sure that my anger is justified. It appears I am correct in my judgment that the process was pencil-whipped if in fact the details are what I believe they are (which is my next step to verify).

 

As I also said, I don't want to be "one of those parents." That is not an excuse or a cop-out and I am not afraid to address this. However, the fact still remains that I *AM* just a parent; i.e., with no troop leadership authority and no authority to approve or deny a particular badge.

 

Yet also as a parent, is my responsibility to help guide my son to make the right decisions in life. Ultimately, HE is the Scout now, not I. That is my next step, and I will inform you of the results.

[blw2 433]

I'm a Tiger Cub dad and a new ADL. I just recently posted about a higher standard of excelence needed..... I'm observing a similar approach in my den.

It's a big reason what i stepped up to be ADL. I hope that I can teach my son the personal integrity to not accept a free ride..... I do feel though that the situation is very sticky and don't want to 'insult' that current leadership isn't doing it right. How to politely steer.... that is our question....

I understand your frustration!

[qwazse 4344]

Where I am really struggling with this personally is that as a PARENT I am not supposed to have to deal with this, so I thought. This was the big difference between Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts..."Son, it is now up to you to chart your own path and take responsibility for your own stuff."

 

Yes, Brew, we want it to be the boy's journey. And if your boy is up for talking to the SM and asking for a different counselor who will take the requirements seriously, then let him.

 

If not, like BD said, you have a plan. Work it.

 

You can consider the problem solved once the boy can say with confidence "I have completed the requirements." instead of "He/she signed off, it must be okay."

 

Hopefully in a few years your boy will be asked in his Eagle board of review what he did to be worthy of his rank. He won't want to say he collected a bunch of signatures!

 

BTW - If requirements are being shortchanged, it's not your son's Eagle that's being tarnished, it's all of ours. This also happens when folks make Eagle requirements so onerous that boys quit before even trying. So pardon us if our "encouragement" is sounding a bit harsh. We know it's not your fault. We just figure you are the first person in your troop who will make a difference -- for the good of all the boys.

 

[Twocubdad 665]

I think you are looking at this the right way. You are certainly right to be concerned with the example being set for your son and disappointed in the program -- new parent or not, should be concerned with the quality of the program.

 

Any you are absolutely right when you wrote, "This was the big difference between Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts... 'Son, it is now up to you to chart your own path and take responsibility for your own stuff.' "

 

Okay, so let him do it. Help him learn from this and guide him to a moral response. Then let him deal with it. If the badge has already been processed and set to be presented, YOUR SON needs to go to the SM and explain that he didn't earn the badge and shouldn't receive it. On the other hand, your son is NOT responsible for fixing the program (although a scout telling his SM he is being given an award he didn't earn should have that effect). And be there to support him. As a SM and a parent, I would be perfectly okay with you literally standing behind your son for this conversation. I don't underestimate how tough this may be for some boys, and his parent's support is important. And if there happen to be any adult follow=up conversations which need to happen, you're ready to go.

 

If you want to follow up with the SM about the overall process, fine. As DG98 mentions, MBC are technically district volunteers, but in many units, they are unit volunteers who just happen to have a district registration card. It would be helpful if you knew the situation in your troop. If this counselor is a long-time, trusted ASM with the troop, your approach needs to be different from that if the counselor is a relatively unknown district volunteers.

 

I understand what DG is saying, but this IS part of the Scoutmaster's responsibility. He is the one who assigns Scouts to particular counselors and needs to be aware of what is going on with this counselor. If the counselor is really just a district volunteer, the SM can very simply stop sending scouts to this guy. If it is a troop volunteer, it's a bit stickier problem. That's not your problem, but as a new parent, it would be good to get the lay of the land before charging in.

[Oak Tree 15]

If the badge has already been processed and set to be presented, YOUR SON needs to go to the SM and explain that he didn't earn the badge and shouldn't receive it.

 

I've had a couple of boys do this for badges from summer camp. It fills me with admiration for them. They do the actual requirements on their own, earn the badge for real, and everyone feels much more satisfaction.

 

I think it's made even tougher on your son if everyone else got the badge and is keeping it, but perhaps his actions might spur people to rethink how easily they are handing out merit badges.

 

Sometimes this might be easier for the Scout if the parent is there with him.

 

A lot of how I would approach this would depend on the actual leaders involved and their personalities. I don't want to send my son into a meat grinder. But if you ask your son what he wants to do about it, and he agrees it would be good to actually finish the requirements, this could work out just fine. I especially like the approach of saying "I don't feel like I earned this" - it doesn't accuse anyone of anything.

 

If this is a common practice in the troop, pencil-whipping the boys through everything, then you're going to have a long-term issue to deal with. If it's just a one-time thing, you can work through it. If you have to change the troop culture, that's a whole different issue.

[Brewmeister 132]

To answer a few questions from the above posts--

 

The MBC for this "class" is an ASM in the troop.

 

I don't know if this is just one thing or an indicator of a "check the box and get 'er done" mentality. Being new to the troop and Boy Scouting in general (as a parent), the learning curve is a bit steep!!! So when an opportunity comes up for son to earn a badge and he wants to go, you sign up him up, right? Now I know to keep my eyes and ears open as I watch from the sidelines.

 

Before my son crossed over we visited three different troops and participated in several activities. He chose this one. There were some things I saw that weren't the way I would have done them (true for the other two units as well) but I also realized that after being a Cub Scout leader for so long I knew I needed a bit of "deprogramming" so I was going to just roll with the flow and let him make the call.

 

Anyway, I want to try to work toward a positive going-forward solution, because this is where he wants to be. Like I said, stay tuned....

[Basementdweller 608]

Sure my tarnished statement was harsh....It was meant to be a wake up call.

 

 

Brew, you shouldn't sign him up for anything, let him chose....he will flounder for a while then find his feet. give him a chance.

 

 

[CalicoPenn 729]

You know what? As "just" a Parent, there is something very important you can do with this.

 

I know you don't want to be "one of those" parents. I'm thinking you mean "one of those" parents who complain to the Scoutmaster rather than "one of those" parents that don't parent their children.

 

Here's my suggestion - you go through the list of requirements with your son and ask him if he feels that he has completed the requirements. Ask him what he thinks he should do. If he tells you he thinks he should find another counselor and complete the merit badge on his own, you hug him and tell him you're proud of him and thank him for proving to you that YOU had done a good job as a father. If he tells you he thinks he should accept the badge, don't say a word, just look at him with a sad face, shake your head, and walk away. The most important thing here is DON'T SAY A WORD and WALK AWAY. Resist the temptation to tell him you're disappointed in him - if you don't say anything and just walk sadly away to let him think about it, he'll figure that out all on his own and will come to talk to you about making the right choice.

 

But, I have a feeling he just might do the first thing and make you proud.

[moosetracker 132]

the fact still remains that I *AM* just a parent; i.e., with no troop leadership

 

While this is true, and you do not want to be the complaining parent, swooping in to "fix" the troop.. Think of it this way, you are no "just" the parent.. You are THE parent..

 

In other words, you do want to help you son make his own decisions in boy scouts, but that does not mean you can not help guiding his moral compass, just as the other adult leaders should be doing the same..

 

Your green card comes because you are the parent. In other words, you have always spent time guiding him to do the right thing as a father. Just because he is now in a troop does not mean you don't have a right to guide your son in defining his moral judgement. You have not lost your fatherly rights.. What you have done is entered what should be a mutual partnership where you are expecting other Scouting Adult Leaders help you with this process, and you should trust their integrity to do a good job at it..

 

Your confidence has been shaken.. But you do not have to hand over your child to them and turn a blind eye as they show him how to cheat the system. Having no say in how they raise your child from now on.

 

How to get the troop on the right track, I have no idea.. You have some good suggestions from others. You also have good suggestions from others on how to guide your child to come to a moral decision.. Now if you wanted to undermine the troop so your son had it easy, then I may be saying hands-off, let the Adult leaders work with your son.. But your not, your trying to teach your child right from wrong.

 

Anyway I just wanted to add, don't for a minute think this is not your right, or that from now on you are "just" the parent.

[Brewmeister 132]

Thanks for the input on this.

 

Here's what I did. As I said, my first job was to go back to my son get to the bottom of exactly what they did and what they didn't rather than just having a general impression. So rather than just ask him some questions I printed off that handy MB worksheet (the same one they were using in class), had him sit down with it, and went through it with him, point by point.

 

Having the familiar sheet really helped him recall and explain things. (He's more of a visual learner, and remember that they did half of it four weeks ago.) So the good news is that they had in fact gone through all the "explain and discuss" parts of the badge.

 

The bad news is that there is still no way to fit 12 weeks into 4, so the whole "create a fitness plan and improve" part was pretty much a whiff.

 

I then asked my son if he felt he completed the badge. He said, "Well, it says 12 weeks and we didn't do that part." I asked him what he thought he should do, and he said he wanted to complete the requirements.

 

Next, if you recall from my original post, I had asked the counselor about the requirements I knew my son couldn't do until his wrist was healed. So I contacted the counselor and told him my son didn't want the badge awarded until he completed all the requirements. And oh, by the way, the way that my son reads the requirements, he is supposed to do a 12-week program of improvement, so that is what he is going to do and it will therefore take a while to get it done.

 

Regarding whether this is a one-time whiff or larger problem of shortcutting requirements, it's simply too soon for me to address that, but I will keep a watch on it.

 

Or, even better, hopefully my son will recognize it based on this experience.

 

Now, I'm sure there are people who will disagree this course of action. Maybe it doesn't follow the proper protocol, but I feel it is right and that he can look back someday on that particular badge, whether or not he pursues his Eagle, and know that he earned it.

 

 

 

 

 

[SeattlePioneer 144]

>

 

I think you've done very well.

 

 

The only thing I'd add would be a discussion with the SM over this issue, to put him in the picture and find out what he wants to do.

 

What he OUGHT to do, in my opinion, would be to have a discussion with the ASM on the issue and find a way to resolve it. That might include having another session or two on the Merit Badge to give Scouts the chance to properly complete the requirement.

 

It should also be a teachable moment at a Committee Meeting to discuss the standards needed to complete a Merit Badge.

 

Or the SM might desire to do something else, including blowing the issue off. If so, at least you would have given him the heads up and you would be informed of the standards expected in the Troop.

[Brewmeister 132]

The only thing I'd add would be a discussion with the SM over this issue, to put him in the picture and find out what he wants to do.

 

I am planning on doing this...it needs a face to face meeting to be positive, IMO.(This message has been edited by brewmeister)

[JMHawkins 15]

I'm a little late to this thread but wanted to commend Brewmeister for his handling of it. I especially want to call out the good sense embodied by this comment:

 

"First, it's important I have all the information before charging off on any path."

 

Scout-aged boys can be terrible communicators, especially with their parents, especially when something is new to them, and it's easy to misunderstand something they've said. So making a special effort to get all the facts when you think something's not quite right is really important.

 

As to the potential future issue about whether this Troop has any sort of standards or not, time will tell, but there are probably a few things you can observe now to give you an idea. Stick around for a couple of troop meetings (if you aren't doing that already) and just hang out in the back with the adult leaders. If anyone asks, you can just sort of meander into talking about how it takes you back to your own experience as a Scout. Nice, casual way to mention you earned Eagle as a youth without coming accross as some stuffed shirt... If you're casual about it and not obnoxious, it should help give you a little credibility with the existing leadership.

 

But while you're there, watch what happens in the meeting. Do the scouts with higher ranks seem to know what they're doing? Do they have at least some self-confidence when it comes to Scout Skills, or even just organizing a game? If so, then the Troop is doing something right, even if there might be room to improve. If not, that probably indicates a wide-spread problem. Boys who's self-esteem comes from actual accomplishments have self-confidence because they've proven to themselves that they can learn and do things. Boys who's self-esteem comes from authority figures handing them Kupie Dolls merit badges and rank advancement tend to lack self-confidence when doing something new because they're waiting for an adult to tell them Good Boy.