ThenNow

I’ve come to “know,” personally and anonymously, a good number of victims over the last fifteen months. For what it’s worth, not a single fact pattern of the abuse fits this hypothetical. Not even close. My bet is these are truly outliers, but what do I know? Oh. That’s right. Not what, but who. Victims of BSA child sexual abuse.

Agreed. I’m certainly not forming a committee to study the alternatives for the word grooming in this contex. I was partly being “smart” picking a language nit. I was also speaking to the issue of people not knowing the clinical definition and reality of sexual abuse grooming. We’re in a thread created because I was going on about grooming and the term was deemed “psycho-babble.” Maybe some need to call it something else to come along and get it. Dunno. Absolutely 100% there are better things do. I hope you believe it takes no selling to get me on board with the your last statement.

Oops. Posted over and over. Apologies.

Very good point. Grooming is an effective term, if you know it’s clinical definition. Your invitation made me consult my love of language thinker. The result? “Houston, we have a problem.” A word that depicts something terrible, exploitative and insidious while describing good human hygiene in means one definition is seriously diluted. On reflection, I understand why grooming was chosen to describe the a component of sexual abuse, but you are probably right. Perhaps it needs to be reconsidered. A word from the animal kingdom reduces it to the proper base perspective and captures intent, foreth

https://casedocs.omniagentsolutions.com/cmsvol2/pub_47373/bd4e3bde-0056-4944-a1b0-031ea56d53c7_5842.pdf And the cheese that is this process continues to get more binding...

As someone who now knows a bit about grooming, both experientially and clinically, this is very true. If “we” try to formulate any sort of litmus test for purity of intent, whether based on words, observed actions or personality quirks, we get into deep trouble. You protect the sheep by putting up fences, making better ones when they prove inadequate, walking among them frequently, discussing techniques with other ranchers who share your desire to protect and defend and you sending them out with a Great Pyrenees, Akbash or Anatolian Shepherd. Think mindful, trusted, educated, equipped and prov

Thank you very much for your even-handed and heartfelt post. For me, and many of us I think, the question of “What if it was your child?” seems too often deflected and not answered honestly. It may appear (or feel) like we are asking it as a weapon of debate, not a deep and sincere entreaty to another human being. Personally, I think yours is the answer most people would have to give. I’m not advocating or condoning violence or any such, I just mean if you don’t have a visceral, protective reaction when confronted with the prospect of the sexual abuse victim being your child or a child you kno

Not by me. I’ve repeatedly and passionately talked about my concern over fraud among the claims. It doesn’t delegitimize me, my abuse or my claim. My concern has been, as stated, letting the insurers’ (camels’) nose so far under and into the tent that there is premature and inappropriate questioning of legitimate claims. I’ve been pretty specific about this. This, I can agree with because you are not the “us” I mentioned. I forgive you for not reading carefully as you prepared to respond. I’ve done the same.

How close in time to your abuse was the record created? I first reported the abuse to BSA via letter in 2008. That was preceded by my effort to have him investigated by local law enforcement in 2002/3. (I talk about that well back in the forum.) I sent the letter to a LC (not mine but where I lived at the time), as well as to National. I named my abuser, the years and my certainty he had abused others after me. Crickets. When I filed my claim, I called the legal department where I understood these records were kept and they not only said in so many words that I didn’t send the letter,

Well, Justice Kavanaugh was nominated to serve on the US Supreme Court and an accuser came out of nowhere with pretty much zero corroboration and a very sketchy memory. It’s unfair to compare these two situations and maybe a little absurd. Yes. Probability. But, remember there are those among you that are among the “us” of this story. The tenor of questioning both a recounting in a widely circulated press outlet and by implication us, isn’t just a random assertion about faulty memory or impure motive. You put the stink on us, as well.

Do we have to go back there? We have told you and others the answers to this ad nauseous. (Used advisedly.) Further, the first reaction is to question the victim? Really? If others of us had it in us and/or if the court didn’t redact, there would be more AND more AND more such articles.

Thank you for posting this link. My first reaction is, finally, finally, finally. This article was too long in the coming. As to “fair,” hm. Let me see. While most know my BSA future split personality, when you read something like this, the only answer can be: absolutely everything humanly possible. How can you not? Seriously. I know I have minimized my abuse every day of my life, including this one. My therapist reminds me that I am a ferocious survivor and many, many people would be long dead or in prison. (Survivors, please tell yourself that RIGHT NOW!) That “everything possible”woul

I think the Mack Daddy among them can. I don’t read spy, but it seems pretty comprehensive. This will link you to what I was surfing. You can see the less expensive models, too. https://www.spygadgets.com/andre-deluxe-advance-bug-detector/

A basic RF detector is $150 and the size of a small remote transmitter. Perhaps Swiss Army can incorporate it into the knife? A slightly more precise pen light size device (“wand”) is $300. RF Signal Detector 1205li. It has an attenuation feature so you can dial in more precisely on the signal. The Andre Deluxe Advanced Detector will set you back $7000 and looks a lot like a really nice fish finder. I am going to buy one of the lower priced models and use it around the house to see if it finds the cameras, on and/or off. Just for fun. It will be in my Dopp kit for travel, as well. Should we ev

I said that, but it was qualified with, “I simply state what was told to me by the Chinese plate.” Insurance companies made this inference based on the “no body’s home” sign at his defunct office in Texas and that he now calls himself a consultant. I later said I would be happy to have him as my attorney. If I gave the impression that he unequivocally is not licensed, please chalk it up to a senior moment of cognitive weakness. Or, perhaps, you just don’t yet know how to read my mind.

And, for fun, you don’t have to go far to find one. In the US, we have one attorney for every 240 people. Does that seem odd? I used to hope they would keep making the California bar harder and harder — it’s notoriously rugged for many — so the market would stop the annual flood of puppies. If that statistic is meaningless to you, I can also report that “the human head weighs 8 pounds.” (Nod to little man Ray.)

Sorry. I was specifically talking about if I caught someone. When this was brought up, I did some research and there are instructions about how to spot and identify them. I hate the thought of having to sweep for surveillance gear, whether visually or through technology. Yeah. I don’t know nuttin about such complexities. Heck. I hate knowing I’m being filmed everywhere I go/am in public, and often when I think it’s private. Creeps me out on 20 different levels.

Present company excepted?

Yes. And, for the record, an adult deploying video surveillance technology AND recording adults, let alone children, in a bathroom is not a matter of decency or overactive interest in human anatomy. In a number of states, it’s criminal. In all states, it’s a basis for civil action. Ask UCS. “Reasonable expectation of privacy” and all that rot. There are exceptions that allow CCTV of common areas with posted warnings and such

I understand what you’re saying, but here comes the “but.” If someone is or is headed so far over the line as to approach infringing on someone else’s safety and I’m present, I would go to any means to stop them. Any. I’m not saying you wouldn’t, but that’s my but if you were saying otherwise. You may be talking specifically about prevention by using the word “thwart.” Dunno. As an aside, thwart is a strange word, isn’t it? One of those that if you say it over and over it gets weirder and weirder. Hm. Wonder why that is? Another of life’s great mysteries.

Nope. From all accounts, this is going to be anything but. Thus, the swinging hypnotic bauble: “Look into my eyes. You’re feeling weary. Great trepidation about being sifted like wheat. Ah. You believed all that nonsense about anonymity and not having to testify. Tsk. Tsk. It’s okay. I’m here to make it all better. Come, now. How’s about a nice $3500 and a kick in the teeth for your troubles? You really don’t want to go through this Indiana Jones boobytrap maze, do you? I am your friend. Take my hand. Yes. That’s it. Very good, very good. You chose wisely. Sign here. Have a nice life. Toodles.

110%!!! I guess I’m not on that virtual DoorDash route because I’m serious hongray and have had a steak hankerin. I’ll try to do better and see what I get. If I can preorder, hoping I make the cut, I can only receive NA beers. Clausthaler makes a nice Dry Hop. Erdinger is fab. Beck’s and St. Paulie Girl do a fine job. And, WellBeing Brewing was founded by a fella in recovery who does nothing by Alcohol Frie, as we say auf Deutsch. Guinness AF is SkunkBier. Wow it’s bad, as is Heineken. I guess this may all get deleted...?

Yes, we can be called to “testify” under oath, in addition to going through a rigorous resubmission of our claim to the Settlement Trustee. It’s a serious bait and switch for many of us and it adds to my mantra that the general audience doesn’t seem to understand what this is doing to (many of) us. As to posts on this forum being “used against us,” I think it depends what a given claim and supplemental information look like, specifically as to the “life impacts” component. (Per Cynical, there’s also the anonymous forum layer. Good get, CS!) If one’s POC and eventual Trustee submission cle

Sorry. Were you saying I misinterpreted the context or attitude in this case? What you said is precisely my (intended) point. Let’s do the former thorough processes, in the moment and going forward, and not the later, “done and gone so let’s move on.” I think it can be self-protective human nature to do that with ugly, distasteful stuff especially if doing otherwise avoids putting in jeopardy something we love.

Okay. Whew. I can remove my scalp from close proximity to the Sterno canister. My neck was getting a serious kink.