Eagle letters of recommendation returned to the scout

[John-in-KC]

I’ve known a couple occasions where the Scout asked for and received copies of the recommendation from the people they asked. 
 

I’ve also known at least two occasions where a Scouts’ parent refused to write a letter. 

[fred8033]

  On 1/3/2020 at 4:07 PM, John-in-KC said:

I’ve also known at least two occasions where a Scouts’ parent refused to write a letter. 

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As a parent of four sons, I can very much understand the urge to not write a reference letter ... at times.  

Sadly, I've seen this too.  Often, it's a parent who really wants the kid to earn Eagle and exceed and pursue every goal.  It damages the relationship between kid and parent.  IMHO, parents are much more happy with their kids when the parent backs off and lets the kid find his own path.

Edited January 3, 2020 by fred8033

[SSScout]

  On 1/3/2020 at 4:07 PM, John-in-KC said:

I’ve also known at least two occasions where a Scouts’ parent refused to write a letter. 

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?Que?   Why would a parent want to write a "recommendation" letter?   Wouldn't we expect that be ipso facto a wonderful, slightly prejudiced opinion?   Teachers, employers, clergy,  camp counselors,  neighbors,  old family friends perhaps.  

I once asked my supervisor at work if he would write a recommendation for me to grad school.  He did, with the proviso that he would only show me a part of it.  He privately said he thought I was a good candidate, but not for the subject for which I was applying.  Another story.....  

Edited January 6, 2020 by SSScout

[fred8033]

  On 1/6/2020 at 3:36 AM, SSScout said:

Why would a parent want to write a "recommendation" letter?   

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It's the first required reference on the Eagle app.  Plus, parents spend more time than anyone else with the scout.  They often can provide useful insight.

[Eagle94-A1]

  On 1/6/2020 at 3:36 AM, SSScout said:

?Que?   Why would a parent want to write a "recommendation" letter?   Wouldn't we expect that be ipso facto a wonderful, slightly prejudiced opinion?   

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One parent was so made that the son was enlisting in the USAF that not only did they refuse to write the letter, but also kicked him out of the house. He was delayed entry, and spent his senior year living with the SM and his family. It was a mess.

 

[Jackdaws]

  On 1/6/2020 at 11:50 AM, Eagle94-A1 said:

One parent was so made that the son was enlisting in the USAF that not only did they refuse to write the letter, but also kicked him out of the house. He was delayed entry, and spent his senior year living with the SM and his family. It was a mess.

 

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Wow that's sad.   Certainly a lot worse things that a young man can do with his future than enlist in the military.  Seems like they would be proud...

[John-in-KC]

  On 1/6/2020 at 3:36 AM, SSScout said:

?Que?   Why would a parent want to write a "recommendation" letter?   Wouldn't we expect that be ipso facto a wonderful, slightly prejudiced opinion? 

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Remember the app specifies parental letters. 
 

As to why, in both cases divorce was involved. BITTER divorce. 

[SSScout]

" . . . and would be willing to provide a recommendation on your behalf."

Perhaps I am misguided, but , again, I might expect a parent/guardian to provide a positive reference.  To send a negative , or to refuse to send any letter at all ("what's a letter? One of those old things on a piece of paper? ") as a parent is very sad.  

Then too, the Scout needs then to think about who would think highly of her/him.  There is no requirement for any specific number of references, and if none are sent and received by the Ebor, would that mean the end to the Eagle Candidate?  Is one letter sufficient?  Is 18 too many?   I have served on only a few EBoR, and have never seen any but "glad to speak of this young man" letters, from teachers, employers,  clergy, Scout Leaders.... As I think about it, I can't remember reading one from a parent.....