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Light hearted teasing of scouts

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  • #16
    I don't know that we need to apply workplace standards to Scouting, but I do agree with the personal respoonsibility element of Dean's approach. As I said earlier, it needs to be handled individually and you need to know the kids involved. And sorry, Krampus, but I disagree with you. If the brother didn't have the fortitude to say, "No, I don't like being called short." he either needs to find it or plan to spend the rest of his life being dumped on.

    Nothing builds self-esteem like taking control of and solving your own problems.

    I do agree that as a basic courtesy you learn folks names. I've posted before about the time three of the older 16- and 17-year-old scouts in the troop were assigning the new kids nicknames, ala Animal House ("From now on you're Pinto. From now on you're, uuuuh, Flounder.") I pulled the older guys off and told them they needed to learn the new boys' real names.

    "But this is fun. Everybody likes nicknames."

    " Well you should have told me that in the first place!," I told them. "If nicknames are such fun, you three need nick names too! You," I said to the big one, "are Lardass. You are D.F., you know, like on your report card. And from now on you are Dewey, but we'll spell it D.U.I. , 'cause, well, you know. Gee, you guys are right, this is a lot of fun! "

    That was the end of that.

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    • #17
      Okay, I'm not counciler...but my wife is... (and it tends to rub off)

      The issue here is how the person feels about the comment. It's not how the person making the comment 'meant' for it to be.. or how the people around it meant.. it's all about how the Scout feels about the comment.

      At the age of most scouts (12-18), there are often feelings which the boys are trying to sort out. Most kids feel at some level as though they are struggling to fit in.. and will allow a comment they don't like to be said, in an effort to simply "be one of the guys." I can remember very well some of these types things from my childhood... and I didn't like them. Did I pretend it was okay? Sure! I was "one of the Cool Kids." Did I develop a "thick Skin?" Perhaps... but did it bother me when I was at home, after the other kids left? YEP!

      Bottom line: IMHO, Scouts have names, and so do the adults. Use them unless the individual says otherwise. If I say "Call me Sponge-Bob," you can safely believe I"m okay with it....however it's also a slippery slope (which some already said) because I could just be reaching for more approval from the crowd.

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      • #18
        I have been overweight since birth...I have resigned myself to the genetics of it. I was always "fatty fatty two by four, can't get through the bathroom door", or "Tubby" or whatever. It always hurt. It still does, as I am amazed that people think it is still ok to mention someone's weight. WHere I work, a certain gate guard used to greet me with ""Mornin, Big Guy...have a bless (sic) day"...I often wonder what the response would be if I responded, "mornin, Black Guy", or "skinny guy" or "stupid guy"... KIds can be cruel...and at that age they are not "used to it" or are able to let it slide off their backs, like a 58 year old senior manager can.

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        • #19
          We might fight and fuss over nearly everything else but this is something that OGE and I seem to be in complete agreement on. Teasing between the boys themselves is not good but between an adult and a boy it is, I think, just plain wrong. I think it's destructive among the boys as well. The only time I think it's ok to tease, is between two individuals who are close enough to know each other very, very well (like between me and my daughter). And even then there are lines that the two of us don't cross - we know each other well enough to understand what those are.
          But between an adult and a boy, sorry, that's out of line. Period.

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