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belladonna

Troop role for Eagle Court of Honor after EBOR Disp Circumstances

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Thanks Back Pack, that made my day!

 

Maybe I'm just getting old.  But I don't understand the concept of collecting a bunch of letters from strangers.  And in Mike's case, he's wire-brushed by parents because he wouldn't personally sign a letter!   After all, their progeny is so very special that he, Mike Rowe, darn well better drop what he's doing and sign a doggone letter!   Unbelievably tacky.

 

Love Mike Rowe!! The "letter thing" I don't get and Mike's response is prefect. What't the point? They are all form letters saying meaningless things, from people you've never met, from groups the Eagle has likely never heard of. I got Mike's letter for my Eagle. He loved it and knew it was a form letter. He appreciated the fact that I got it for him -- not because it was a congrats letter, and not because it was from Mike Rowe -- but because of what Mike said, "Pack your Eagle stuff away and NOW start the hard work!!"

 

 

To go out further on the limb, I'm fairly convinced that the standard 3 inch binder full of Eagle letters, stationed conveniently in the back of room on a conspicuous table for all to see, is created solely for the benefit of one person:  Mom.  And she's usually the one who ends up doing all of the work to get those letters too.

 

You are not on the limb alone. It's mom or dad who do this. Certainly no Eagle Scout I've seen goes and does this. Who cares if the Sons of the American Revolution send you a certificate and a letter. Really? How many confirmations of your Eagle award to you need?

 

Do yourself a favor and skip all of that.   Enjoy the day.

 

Unless things have changed recently, the Eagle kit comes with a letter from National, a certificate for the Eagle, and the medal, etc.   Isn't this honorable enough?

This!

 

My son remembered a few things from his ECOH:

  • His friends showing up.
  • His teachers and mentors from long ago showing up.
  • His troop showing up in droves to support him.
  • The fact his family flew in to see him.
  • Most of all? The CAKE!!!

And that, my friends, is what this is about. Not nothing more. Forget the letters...your Eagle Scout surely will.

Edited by Col. Flagg
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For some unknown (to us) reason, the Scout had his Eagle award held up.

For some unknown (to us) reason,   the Scout is estranged from his home Troop. This is sad.

His Council saw the wisdom to "make things right", and make the award of the Eagle to this Scout.

At his desire, the Scout can celebrate , with his parents and family, his accomplishment.  An Eagle Court of Honor can be arranged with the help of the Council that "made things right".  

The Scout, with family and friends,  can plan on Barbecue or cookies or ice tea, with candles symbolically on a log , as he desires, with his family and friends in attendance.  He should, I feel (but that's just me), invite the leadership of the home Troop. They did, after all, help him along in this accomplishment, gave him the opportunity,  even if things did go awry toward the end. . Maybe thru an intermediary that can help "make nice" between the two.

The Scout should, at his desire, ask his favorite Scout person to say a few appropriate words , of inspiration and congratulation and closure to this chapter of his life.  It is, after all, the beginning of another chapter. 

Or he can take the package from the mail box , open it, and put the Eagle pins and patch in the back of his closet for another time and place. 

I say do the party, such things are, after all, not just for the Scout.  Rather,   make it a time of healing and rejoicing, not of remembering the hurt.

 

Congratulations to your Scout, Belladonna, and see you on the trail....

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A bit unfair. We don't know the circumstances. But I'm not sure what she expected (or planned for)what would happen AFTER the contested EBOR. I certainly wouldn't expect any troop to lift a finger in such circumstances.

 

I must have missed the smiley face then. Always good to use those so people know you're joking. ;)

 

I was only half joking.  I do hold a certain amount of disdain for people who go the disputed circumstances route.  

 

I would applaud the other three scouts who earned the award the right way, and chose to have a simple ECOH with their unit.  Well done.

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Wow, that is still a little harsh. You have no idea of the circumstances surrounding this young man's need to go around his Troop. Based on the instances I have read about around this campfire, most of the time the adults have overstepped their authority. Maybe the OP could have told us her son's side of the story, but she didn't. In fact, all she seems to be asking for is a little guidance on how to hold an ECoH for her son, given the situation.

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Wow, that is still a little harsh. You have no idea of the circumstances surrounding this young man's need to go around his Troop. Based on the instances I have read about around this campfire, most of the time the adults have overstepped their authority. Maybe the OP could have told us her son's side of the story, but she didn't. In fact, all she seems to be asking for is a little guidance on how to hold an ECoH for her son, given the situation.

 

I'm not sure the circumstances really matter.  I think any determined parent can win at council regardless of merit.  This has certainly been true in the instances I have read around this campfire.  

 

There have been quite a few threads on this forum by parents who have taken the disputed circumstances route.  I have yet to see a single instance of a parent reporting back that they have lost the appeal to council.  They always seem to win.

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Sadly, I've found many many COHs and ECOHs way too tedious, overly formal in ceremony and just not enjoyable.  As part of wanting scouts to "WANT TO ADVANCE", I like keeping the COHs lighter and more fun.  Pot luck.  Laughing.  Stories.  Pictures.  Fun!  If they find it painful to sit through a COH, then it eliminates their wanting to be the guy standing up front receiving the award.  

 

I say that because your son can make his EBOR what ever he wants.  Formal or informal.  Ceremonial or a structured program.  With troop or without.  

 

You can't make your troop leaders participate.  Hopefully, they would be graceful to show up, congratulate the scout and keep their mouth closed without a hint of their opinion on the situation.  But then again, maybe the damage has been done.  That's between you and your son to decide. 

 

Wishing you the best.

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I'm not sure the circumstances really matter.  I think any determined parent can win at council regardless of merit.  This has certainly been true in the instances I have read around this campfire.  

 

There have been quite a few threads on this forum by parents who have taken the disputed circumstances route.  I have yet to see a single instance of a parent reporting back that they have lost the appeal to council.  They always seem to win.

 

You must be confused about how this process works then. The only reason that you would need to go the disputed circumstances route is because the SM has refused to sign off on whatever that last item is- anecdotally it is Req 6- participate in a Scoutmaster Conference. Please tell me what reason a Scoutmaster would EVER have to refuse to have that meeting with a Scout. So, yes, the circumstances absolutely do matter. The EBoR is NOT a test. It is a conversation, and honestly I have found that almost every time, the Eagle candidate sitting in front of me is a credit to the honor he has earned. Again, we don't always know the exact circumstances surrounding a Scout's need to sidestep his Troop, but having "disdain" for anyone who's hand is forced to do so, or thinking that they do so for the heck of it, is unfair. I think you are underestimating both the mettle of the District and Council involved, and the various flavors of "not quite BSA" Scouting programs out there.

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Any boy that shows up on my doorstep with a completed EBOR in need of a ceremony for any reason, gets one.  A Scout is Friendly.

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I have yet to see a single instance of a parent reporting back that they have lost the appeal to council.  They always seem to win.

 

I know a few very sad situations where the council denied the appeal.  And the denial was justifiable, but very sad still.  I know a third that would have been a denied situation, but I am proud to have stepped in.  It's one of the events in my scouting history that makes me most proud.  To this day the scout's troop scoutmaster tells me that the scout's family treats him like a magic man for getting this fixed.  We chuckle about that.  

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The only reason that you would need to go the disputed circumstances route is because the SM has refused to sign off on whatever that last item is- anecdotally it is Req 6- participate in a Scoutmaster Conference.

There are actually a few other situations where that procedure would apply, though they are all in the same "family." The Guide to Advancement, bureaucratic numerical reference 8.0.3.2, says in part:

 

A board of review under disputed circumstances is available only for the Eagle Scout rank. It is held at the district or council level. Volunteers from the candidate’s unit are not involved. It is indicated when a unit leader or committee chair does not sign the application, if a unit leader (Scoutmaster) conference is denied, if it is thought a unit will not provide a fair hearing, or if the unit leader or project beneficiary refuses to sign final approval for what might be considered a satisfactorily completed service project.

(Emphasis added.)

 

Of course in this case it doesn't really matter exactly why the Scout sought an EBOR under disputed circumstances. We need only know that he did, that the process apparently worked the way it is designed to work, that the council/district-level EBOR decided to approve the advancement, and that now his mother is seeking advice on how to handle the ECOH. I agree with the general tone of the advice that has been given so far. It's your son's ceremony. Those who are invited and wish to participate (both as persons with speaking roles and as members of the audience) can participate, and those who don't, don't. Hopefully none of the adults with negative feelings toward your son will try to discourage any of his fellow Scouts from participating.

Edited by NJCubScouter

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My son remembered a few things from his ECOH:

  • His friends showing up.
  • His teachers and mentors from long ago showing up.
  • His troop showing up in droves to support him.
  • The fact his family flew in to see him.
  • Most of all? The CAKE!!!

And that, my friends, is what this is about. Not nothing more. Forget the letters...your Eagle Scout surely will.

 Colonel Flagg (my favorite MASH character!), I enjoyed your entire post but wanted to highlight the portion above....

 

All of those points--friends, mentors, fellow scouts, family, refreshments--are the truly meaningful elements of any Eagle court of honor.

 

When I was a scout, my family moved right after I completed my Eagle board.  At my new location, five very kind new Eagles invited me to be a part of their court of honor.

 

It was a quite a ceremony, a big production.  Everyone was friendly and congratulatory.   But truthfully, I was blue.  Didn't know a soul.  Hadn't hiked 1 mile along the scouting trail with anyone present.

 

I would have given my right arm to be back in my old troop, just for that night, in our flea-bitten old barracks of a scout hut, celebrating with the cast of characters that comprised my old troop.   As eccentric a bunch as I've ever met, we had been through thick and thin, and the actual ceremony itself would have been secondary to the camaraderie.   And the cake!

Edited by desertrat77
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Belladonna,

 

In our troop, it has always been the responsibility of the scouts' families to plan and present the ECOH. We obtain the room from the CO and the time, and everything else is up to the families.

 

We have developed a somewhat "standard" program:

(1) opening flag ceremony.

(2) words of greeting from the CC.

(3) presentation of the Eagle scouts by an adult of their choice. Usually, there is talk about the scouting career and personal vignettes and how worthy the adult thinks the scout is. That kind of thing. We don't have any standards for content.

(4) presentation of the Eagle charge.

(5) presentation of the Eagle "regalia", including mentor and parents' pins.

(6) words of acceptance, gratitude, and advice from the scouts.

(7) scoutmaster's minute.

(8) and finally, the closing flag ceremony.

 

 As to the printed program, 

(1) the cover usually has a large depiction of the Eagle badge, a list of the Eagles, and the time, date, and place of the ceremony.

(2) a picture and a bio of each Eagle. Bios are usually a page or two.

(3) transcriptions of the Scout Oath, Scout Law, and the Eagle Charge.

(4) a list of famous Eagle scouts.

 

But there is no magic in any of this. It is your (plural) ceremony. You may structure it any way you wish. One of my son's friends didn't even have the ceremony. 

 

Your circumstances may make some of this a bit more challenging. But surely you can find three scouts for the flag ceremony, adn any adult can do the rest.

 

Invite the whole troop. Worried about people with hard feelings? Invite them, but don't give them any chance to participate. Modify the program accordingly so they don't have an opportunity if you don't want them to. Besides, the ones with the hard feelings probably won't come anyway.

 

Then just relax, enjoy , and have fun.

 

And welcome to the forum and congratulations to your Eagle. 

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The only reason that you would need to go the disputed circumstances route is because the SM has refused to sign off on whatever that last item is- anecdotally it is Req 6- participate in a Scoutmaster Conference. Please tell me what reason a Scoutmaster would EVER have to refuse to have that meeting with a Scout. So, yes, the circumstances absolutely do matter.

 

There was a scout in my oldest son's troop. A fine young man, and a great scout. He had always served in leadership in his troop, including SPL three different 6-mo terms. The problem was, none of them were while he was Life. His senior year of high school he was busy as drum major of the band, and didn't realize that fact. Nobody at his troop caught it either. In fact, his troop's review of his record resulted in them telling him he was good to go when he wasn't. 

 

And then, of course, he was within 6 mos of his 18th birthday.

 

SM refused the conference because he didn't meet the requirements and refused to sign off, as did the CC.

 

The scout appealed, and Council granted the appeal.

 

But there's an example of why a SM would refuse the conference.

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There was a scout in my oldest son's troop. A fine young man, and a great scout. He had always served in leadership in his troop, including SPL three different 6-mo terms. The problem was, none of them were while he was Life. His senior year of high school he was busy as drum major of the band, and didn't realize that fact. Nobody at his troop caught it either. In fact, his troop's review of his record resulted in them telling him he was good to go when he wasn't. 

 

And then, of course, he was within 6 mos of his 18th birthday.

 

SM refused the conference because he didn't meet the requirements and refused to sign off, as did the CC.

 

The scout appealed, and Council granted the appeal.

 

But there's an example of why a SM would refuse the conference.

Well that's why Council showed the SM he was wrong because the GYA allows for non scout actitivies as a reason to explain lack of "activity" in the troop. I hope the council forced the SM and CC to sit through a 16 hour season on the gta and how to read it.

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I wonder how often the sons' of Scoutmasters, or other prominent troop leaders, have to undergo EBORs under disputed circumstances? Parent politics play a very ugly role in scouting and there are too many Scoutmasters who see themselves as the Scouts Master.

 

Belladona,

I'm sorry your son had to go through the ordeal he went through to achieve his rank. He can take pride in knowing that he stood up for himself.

 

My son also earned Eagle through an EBOR under disputed circumstances, so I empathize with everything your son and your family have had to go through. 

 

I don't know what the circumstances were surrounding your son's Eagle application, but in the case of my son, the SM and troop committee tried to add a requirement, after my son had already completed that requirement successfully. When my son and I called the troop on this, the SM and CC got very nasty.

 

The SM even went as far as to try to undermine my son's achievement of one of his final Eagle required merit badges. 

 

As a side note, for anyone who would say that they have disdain for scouts who have rightfully met the requirements for the rank of Eagle only to be denied based on unwarranted scrutiny from a scoutmaster, or any other scout leader, then I can only say I have equal disdain for those individuals.

 

Scouting is supposed to be "all about the scouts", but as I and others have said before, all too often it's really all about the scouters.

 

Regarding your son's ECOH, my recommendation would be to do something privately and only include those who were supportive of your son's advancement.

 

Regarding the congratulatory letters, council can provide you with the forms to request these directly.

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