Eagle BOR - Something New

[Lisabob 13]

Under the circumstances, eh *shrugs*. What happened, happened. Maybe not what people had expected, but it doesn't seem to have been that big of a deal. Breast feeding is pretty much accepted in most places these days without a lot of fuss.

 

On the other hand, one time I sat on a BOR (for a Life candidate) where one of the other BOR members had her 18 month old grandson with her. The kid was squirmy, noisy, and plainly had other ideas about what he wanted to do. It was incredibly distracting and not something I recommend. So as a general rule, I'd say it would be best to go baby-free at BORs. But if there's a time crunch and that's who you have available, then you find a way to make the best of it. (A Scout is Resilient.)

[kari_cardi 10]

The mother of a newborn who is also a troop parent and presumably has a son at least 11 years of age is not likely to think twice about breastfeeding a newborn at a EBOR or anywhere else, for that matter. I'm impressed that the Eagle candidate took it in stride, as said before acceptance of breastfeeding really does seem to be a matter of exposure.

[Twocubdad 665]

" acceptance of breastfeeding really does seem to be a matter of exposure. "

 

ba-da-CHING!

 

[Eagle92 110]

I wouldn't have used the mom, she has more important responsibilities. But you did use her, and you have to accept her responsibilities as well, i.e. feeding the newborn.

 

Yep it can be "disquieting" the first time you see it happen. Mine was at CS Leader Basic when a new leader with a baby started nursing during training.

 

But what is interesting is this, did you know that up until WWII, when women started using child care and going to work in industry, breast feeding was the norm? The need for women in the workforce in the 1940s got formulas, and it picked up steamin the 50s ands 60s until formula became the norm. Now American Pediatric Association, at least I think that their name but it's the pediatricians' society in the US, is now pushing and promoting breast feeding to the point that hospitals are starting to no longer giving out diaper bags of formula and other goodies courtesy of the formula companies. Heck I discovered recently that some hospitals have lactation departments, and all the nurses do is counsel new moms.

[ScoutNut 147]

>>" The feeding could have been easily accomplished either before or after the BOR."

[Eagledad 2781]

>>So, since you "solicited" her for this task, knowing she had a newborn infant, I have to wonder what you expected her to do.

[Lisabob 13]

I'm not certain but I think there may be some cultural shifts that haven't been taken into account, here. Parenting lore of a generation ago was that you had to have baby on a time table, strict feeding schedule, etc. And of course more people used formula (which was marketed as being "better than breastmilk" for a long time, and then "as good as breastmilk and more convenient" for a while after that).

 

Current parenting lore is different. Rather than setting schedules for baby and rather than use formula, mothers are encouraged to follow a more natural approach - allowing the baby to eat when hungry, and encouraging breast feeding.

 

So while a generation ago, the schedule and etiquette was dictated by the considerations of the adult, today the schedule (and perhaps the etiquette) is more about the considerations of the infant. The current thinking is that it really isn't all that smart to expect infants to conform to the conveniences or schedules of the adult world. The minor inconvenience is temporary (infants grow up so fast!) And it is only a "big deal" if the adult world can't handle the occasional breast feeding in stride.

 

It seems to me that this shift in cultural practices and perceptions of what's normal might not be so apparent to folks who are a bit removed from the time in their lives when they and their friends were having babies.

 

 

 

 

[NJCubScouter 1389]

Obviously, steps should be taken to minimize distractions at an Eagle BOR, but it is not some sacred ritual taking place on a mystical hilltop somewhere. It is taking place in the "real world". Life happens. Distractions and disruptions happen. This was not someone pulling out a phone to play a game, this was a newborn child that needed to be fed, now. Whether the newborn (and by extension, the mother) should have been in the Eagle BOR in the first place, I will leave for others to discuss. But they were there, the mother did not leave the room (which I think probably would have been more of a distraction than what she actually did), the Scout was not derailed by it, and life went on. In fact, the Scout got to show that he would not be thrown off-track by a minor little distraction.

 

Now, if I were another member of the BOR present at the time, would I have found it a little disconcerting? Yes, probably. But I would have gotten over it quickly enough.

[moosetracker 132]

I can see EagleDad's point though.. In retrospect the mother letting people know baby can't wait and asking others their comfort level, and would they be fine with her nursing here, or prefer having a 10 - 15 minutes delay to the board, would have been polite. Same with a person having hiccups, or a person having uncontrolable coughing fits and hacking up lugies..

 

But, it did not happen.. Nor does everyone with the hiccups or coughing fits think to ask if they would prefer to delay 10 - 15 minutes while they get their bodily functions under control..

 

Write it off to the world no longer follows Miss Marbles rules of etiquette anymore.

[kari_cardi 10]

The fact that a mother with a newborn walked into the room would have given me sufficient notice that a feeding may occur in my presence, given the nature of newborn babes. Feeding the baby when it gave cues that it wanted to nurse, rather than trying to put off nursing, would be much less disruptive than cries or stopping the EBOR to leave the room or whatever. It's a normal action and should be treated as such, not as something unpleasant or distasteful. Expecting women to sequester themselves because they are lactating is an outdated idea, and for good reason. I think it is awesome that this mom was willing to do the EBOR when she could be doing other things like catching up on her sleep.

 

It's really disheartening to keep reading about how yeah, women are willing to step up and help but if only they didn't breastfeed or like doing crafts or had better outdoor skills or were men. Because really, isn't that the problem? That women aren't men?