perdidochas

1 hour ago, desertrat77 said:

I renewed my Lifeguard BSA at camp this year.  I was surprised to see how poorly some of the scouts swam, ones that had the swimming and lifesaving merit badges already.  Poor technique and not much strength or stamina.

When my son got his initial Lifeguard cert about 5 years ago, he was in a class with a single other person.  He was dismayed that the other boy was a mediocre swimmer and still passed the course. 

17 hours ago, Bside said:

Full disclosure, the victim here is my son. I am furious over this. However, being the Scoutmaster puts me in a precarious position. The father in me first wanted to react like my father would have. To encourage my son to go beat the crap out of this kid. My son has about 75 pounds and 5 inches in height on the SPL. He just doesn't have an aggressive or violent bone in his body. The boys know this and the SPL only bullied him because he knew or thought he could get away with it.

If I act too harshly, I will be accused of favoritism, or over protecting my son. If I let them off too lightly They will feel like what they did was O.K.. I feel like I must have a deliberate, measured response. Something that will resolve the situation but not turn my son into a pariah. Scouting is his only social outlet and he loves it. He has seen most of these boys as friends. He says he wants to just forget about it, but I have never been a parent to encourage him to just sit back and take it. He feels desperate for friends, but he just doesn't know what real friendship is yet. 

This situation on one hand is very simple and clear. On the other hand, it is very complicated. I intend to simplify it and take action to both teach and punish these Scouts. Firmly but fairly.   

You should bring it to the DE or SE in the council or talk to your COR or even IH.  Let them be the bad guy.

3 minutes ago, Bside said:

This was not a BSA sanctioned outing. This was a group of "friends" that happen to be members of the same troop having a sleep over. 

Makes no difference.  A Scout should not be threatening to sexually assault a younger, weaker person regardless of this being a "non scouting" event.  It's not scoutlike behavior, and honestly, every boy involved in this attempted sexual assault should be punished by the troop.  If it was found they did this kind of stuff to a non-scout, I would feel the same. 

4 hours ago, EagleForever said:

I have been an Eagle Scout since 2015 and I am currently serving in the military. I just got involved as a cub/troop leader close to where I'm stationed and I just have a few questions about some things I don't exactly agree with about the things  the other leaders are doing. So I have been away from scouting for around 3 years so I imagine there have need some things that have changed since I was in. So at cub meeting they are teaching the cubs to memorize the scout oath and law and all things to do with scouts. Is that a new thing? Because I can tell the cubs are having quite a hard time with it. And at scout meeting the Weblos are told to attend, and they are telling both the Weblos and Scouts that they will have to work super hard if they want to make Eagle, and that it will take them all the way until they are 18 to get it. Making Eagle is definitely a difficult journey, and there were times I wanted to give up, but I made Eagle at the age of 15. Not once have I ever heard leaders tell scouts that they have to wait until they are 18. Does this sound wrong to anyone else or has scouts really changed this much since i was in?

Well, the average age for Eagle is something like 17.4 years old.  Yes, the Scout Oath and Scout Law are now for all ages. 

13 minutes ago, WisconsinMomma said:

3 months?  That's it?  To me, that's very light for something very vulgar and un-Scoutlike. 

And... "a similar act of poor Scout Spirit" -- just no.  There should be no more similar acts.  A similar act, from my point of view would be dismissal from the Troop.

Are you going to discuss this act of sexual bullying and youth-on-youth abuse with your Scout Executive?  I think you need to. 

 

I agree 100%.  The SPL was threatening to sexually assault the younger boy.  I thought the 3 month suspension was too light, and I agree totally that another similar act should be dismissal.  The rest of the PLC should be punished as well, as they either participated or didn't stop it. 

On 9/30/2018 at 6:49 PM, RivetSmasher said:

Our troop has 1 lantern per patrol plus an extra for the adults for a grand total of 5. On any given camp-out we break at least 2 of the globes. Does anyone have any suggestions for this? Typically they're broken by the boys and not while in transit. It's gotten to the point where several of the adults will bring their own lanterns so the boys can use all of the troop lanterns. The hassle of batteries and lack of lumen output make us shy away from LED lanterns. I've seen mesh/screen globes but I've read that they have trouble when it's windy. Ideas?

You can get steel mesh globe replacements. I've done that with one of my personal lanterns--but I haven't used it when extremely windy.  My former troop used coleman propane lanterns, but we used them on a tree atop a 20 lb propane cylinder. Never had problem breaking them in camp, but did occasionally break them on transport. 

1 hour ago, WisconsinMomma said:

Right now I am shopping for Cubs, for the whole Pack, and it's all adult-driven so the online stuff is great.   I am not sure why a Patrol could not have a meeting and go the online shopping together at their meeting, but this is a helpful service that's great at the Cub level. 

I agree with you.  If anything, this can turn the grocery shopping into a patrol activity, rather than an individual one. They can do the price comparisons, etc.   I'd much rather have the boys order the groceries online at a meeting, than have their parents do the shopping.  

3 hours ago, acco40 said:

What adult requirements are we (BSA) forcing on children?

I wondered that myself.  My sons could do the requirements without an adult (except for the signing off part)

On 10/12/2018 at 11:36 AM, SSScout said:

I am the Lawn Mower parent, but that's only because Scoutson is now 24 and there is no one else to mow the lawn..... 

I resemble that remark.  In my case, it's  Scoutsons are 18 and 20 and go to universities that are out of state. 

On 10/11/2018 at 12:19 PM, NealOnWheels said:

I am a Christian and I do not believe "going to church" is a duty to God.

Then, IMHO, you haven't paid attention to the Commandments. 

On 9/4/2018 at 2:04 PM, cocomax said:

Please step aside Helicopter Parents there is a new, even worse form of parent taking the field. 

https://www.weareteachers.com/lawnmower-parents/

I know some scouts that are near getting their eagle that have their mom stepping in and speaking to the scout master and SPL on the their behalf, for easy things like if they were or were not going on the next trip..

I have seen moms acting as a buffer between between merit badge councilors and scouts, to really help speed things up.

I have been to Camp-O-Rees where at 2am Saturday morning a group of dads were busy building the award wining pioneering project while the boys slept.

So I have seen these take charge parents in the wild. . .  I just did not know it was such a wide spread thing.

 

 

Wow.  In my boys' former troop (former because they aged out, both after getting their Eagles), the SM or SPL would politely listen to the mom, and tell her, get your Scout to do this. We aren't doing this for him unless he asks.  As a MB counselor, I would tell the Mom to buzz off. The only thing I need parents for in MBC is to drive the Scout and/or be there for YPT purposes.  I've seen the same with pioneering projects. 

On 9/30/2018 at 12:26 PM, gblotter said:

We are a small troop of just 30 Scouts. I think we do a great job with the limited resources available to us, but our talent pool reflects the size of our troop. Taking advantage of a much larger talent pool at AdvanceCamp gave us exposure to some expertise we simply don't have in-house.

Sure - we can always "wing it" if needed, but it's inspiring to learn from true experts in the subject matter.

30 scouts is a medium-sized troop. A large troop is over 50, a small troop under 15. 

On 10/5/2018 at 1:25 PM, scoutldr said:

I have been married going on 44 years.  My wife once asked me "if something happens to me, would you find someone else?"  My immediate response now would be "hell no!"  She has some "liberal feminist" friends who behave worse than any of my horndog male buddies ever did but are staunchly in favor of hanging Kavanaugh out to dry.  Why would I risk subjecting myself to that?  Ladies, I'm afraid you've "screwed the pooch" this time...so take your pink hats and leave me alone.

I've only been married almost half the length you have been, but I do agree with you.  I have no intention of remarrying should my wife pass away first. 

On 10/5/2018 at 10:36 AM, shortridge said:

As do we all.

The framing of your question suggests that church attendance is the default way of doing one’s duty. The spectrum of Scouting experiences means that it’s not. An open-ended question when dealing with Scouts is best.

It is an open-ended question.  It's a thought provoking question, so that the Scout can think about what his duty to God is.  In my faith (Roman Catholic), weekly church attendance is part of our Duty to God (although required, it is not the entire duty to God, it's just the minimum). 

On 10/5/2018 at 12:51 PM, scotteg83 said:

since you raised the question, How does going to church show your duty to God?  You can practice religion without going to Church.  And there are plenty of youth that go to church that aren't Religious.

Well, going to church is part of my duty to God. I'm Catholic, and it is considered a mortal sin in my church to miss Sunday Mass without good reason.  So, yes, going to Mass is part of my duty to God.  Of course you can practice religion without going to church, but at least for those who are Christians, going to church is part of our general duty to God.  I also wouldn't count going to church every Sunday as the complete duty to God. If a Scout answered duty to God with just going to church on Sunday, I would question that as well (asking about other actions that are part of that duty).  Duty to God in the Scout Oath is not idle words to me. 

On 10/9/2018 at 7:19 AM, WisconsinMomma said:

We had an adult leader who nearly said -- I'm not doing jack for your kid, it's not my problem, and basically said no to every suggestion we made to try to help our kid. He ultimately decided that he would just not be around our kid at all because he didn't like our kid's challenges and was very critical of my son's (minor) behavior concerns.   (Sounded great to us based on the attitude we were getting! Other leaders in the troop were easier to work with.)  I understand that not every request can be made, but adult leaders should try to be kind and helpful as much as possible, especially when working with kids who have struggles. 

I agree, but I also don't think we should be held to the same standards as paid professional teachers.  Yes, we should be kind and helpful as much as possible, but we also shouldn't be bludgeoned by pseudo-legalistic parents. 

1 hour ago, walk in the woods said:

I'm sure you meant no harm, but, to a significant number of people in the special needs community the acronym/term SPED is offensive.  Special Needs is fine but in reality, the term accommodations, needs no adjective.

And in 20 years, the word "accomodations" will be offensive. There is no need to continually revise the language to not offend. The most innocuous term today will end up offending tomorrow.  For example, handicapped was the nice way to say things (much nicer than crippled), then "disabled" took over, and now, it's "differently abled."  When does this stop?

On 10/3/2018 at 6:25 PM, Momleader said:

This is where councils should be offering more support to leaders who are in the trenches. 

Our leaders in my district have been told to  “ do like the schools and follow the SPED accommodations”. However they don’t give any resources and what they forget is a lot of (volunteer)leaders don’t naturally have that kind of work experience in that area.   Would it be detrimental for you or the dad to become involved with the troop so if they run into a problem you can help both your scout and the leaders through it?

Does your council have a scouting with special needs person who could maybe be an ally with resources to the leaders in your son’s troop?  That way everyone could learn to work together for the benefit of the boy and any others thy have challenges in the future?

Scout leaders are volunteers.  We can't be forced to follow the actions of the schools.   While I agree with the idea of helping Scouts if I can, I would chafe at being told I have to follow an IEP as a volunteer. 

15 hours ago, qwazse said:

A little of the rails, Perdi. But since you put it out there ...

@ItsBrian, take that as a rhetorical question. Answering to strangers on the Internet is likely to get your dander up. Hashing it out with whoever you'd trust as a reference is likely to get you somewhere.

Well, it is something to think about.  I take the Scout Oath seriously.

On 8/29/2018 at 11:08 PM, Jishusa said:

Hi - looking for experience/advice  and BSA guidelines on a Scout Spirit Board.

 

i googled and can’t find anything...

 

Our Troop Scoutmaster is adding an Order of the Arrow review board to our Troops advancement process called a Spirit Board.

3 Order of the Arrow Scouts will now review every Scout’s Spirit seeking advancement prior to their Board of Review instead of the Adults running the BOR.   If they don’t pass they have to wait 30 days and try again.

Is there a list of questions these Scouts typically ask?

Or, some sort of official BSA guidelines on how to do this?

Thanks in advance for the help.

 

It is not legal per the BSA.You are adding to Advancement requirements.

On 9/24/2018 at 3:25 PM, ItsBrian said:

It's about that time to where I finally fill out the Eagle Scout application.

I started to fill it out and realized that it says to get a reccomendation from your religious leader. I do not personally attend church often therefore I do not have anyone that would be able to provide a reference. I thought I read once a parent would fill in for that reference, but I forget.

Has anyone else delt with this before?

Here's a question for you: Do you think you are doing your duty to God by rarely attending church? 

That said, use your parents for that reference. IMHO, at your age, parents are in charge of your religious education, etc. 

2 minutes ago, GSleaderSG said:

I have not talked to the SPL/PL   Only SM.  I honestly did not even consider it to be an option.  As far as I know the SPL has not been involved in any action plans regarding my son.  

Boy Scouts is supposed to be boy-led.  The SM should have talked to the SPL about the situation, and the boys should be handling it, for the most part. 

12 minutes ago, Eagledad said:

Is this an example of girls taking boy out of boy scouting? 

We've had discussions under the theme of keeping the program fun for the boys, instead of the adults. I remember one discussion where the CM asked if he should keep singing the scouts' favorite song, "Greasy Grimy Gofer guts" at the pack meetings. SM's struggle with the same questions of their scouts as well. Blood Circle has been around since at least the 60s.

Barry

No, it's adults taking the boy out of boy scouting.  Sterile language, like "safety circle," are bureaucratic and meant to sound benign. The last thing you need when it comes to safety.  Blood circle tells me that anything in that circle can possibly be cut, and I need to be careful with it. Safety circle just tells me that  I need to be safe inside that circle or worse, that it's the safe place.  I think blood circle is the best possible way to describe that for young people (boys and girls). 

15 minutes ago, GSleaderSG said:

One  such plan was to "check for understanding" similar to his what is implemented at his school. The idea is to make sure instructions for troop activities are clearly and consistently relayed to him and that he fully understands the instructions.  One of his triggers is (perceived) inconsistencies in instructions, he doesn't adapt well to change. He needs to be given time to process changes in his plans/expectations. This was one of the plans that was not communicated to the other leaders.  When I spoke to the ASM about the plan (SM was absent that day)  I was told there was no time for that. 

Other plans have have existed in a more nebulous form.  Assurances that "we will work with your son"   but what is/was being done is never clear.  My husband frequently remains for meetings and has not observed any difference in strategy beyond placing my son in teams with more tolerant/friendly boys. 

The issue with changing troops is two fold.  First my son has know several of these boys since cub scouts. While he is not particularity close with anyone, he knows them. He has few friends in his life and scouting is one of his few opportunities for socialization outside of school.  He has strongly objected to suggestions that we explore other troops. Second, unlike this troop the other troops in the area are sponsored by religions organization we are not members of. 

Talk to the Troop leaders--aka the SPL, ASPL and PLs, not just the adults.  I think you might be pleasantly surprised at how much better things will be if you view this as boy-led, versus a classroom situation.  Don't think this will make the boys in the troop think less of your son (they already know he has difficulties), it will help them become part of the solution instead of adding to the problem.  My sons' troop had several autistic Scouts, and the Scouts as a whole watched out for each other.

3 hours ago, GSleaderSG said:

Hi, 

I am a parent of a Boy Scout (and a Girl Scout leader of my own troop but that not the topic here) who is having trouble. My son has social issues that make it difficult for him to interact with other boys. This, along with a speech problem makes him a target for teasing. However, he also has anger issues that cause him lash out verbally and become destructive to his own property (think scout book here).  Over the two years he has been involved in boy scouts he has had several instances were he has become angry and defiant at troop meetings and events, sometimes in response to teasing and sometimes in response to other things.   He is also an enthusiastic participant in troop activities and has repeatedly expressed that he wishes to remain in the troop.

We have tried to work with troop leadership to formulate plans for behavior management.  We have gotten assurances from the scoutmaster that leadership will work with  my son to help him integrate better but these plans are not followed through on. This includes situations where other members of the leadership team have contradicted plans we discussed with the scoutmaster (largely due to them not being informed of the plans) and poor communication.  

Unfortunately things have now come to a head. In response to being teased, my son smacked another scout.   Obviously this is unacceptable  and warrants significant action from troop leadership. The consequences are banned from meetings until court of honor and my husband will need to be present for all meetings.  This also will result, although it is unspoken, in not making rank for the next court of honor. 

In general I accept that the consequences fit my son's actions.  But I do not feel that there is adequate work being done to address the underlying problem. My son is not well integrated into the troop and I very much get the impression that leadership just wants him to quit, but does not want to take the steps to remove him. I am worried that there has not been adequate communication between the various leaders and the troop committee about this and other issues.  I am worried that after court of honor he will be asked to leave anyway - in effect leading him on.  Finally I am worried that taking my concerns up with the committee chair will further label my son as troublemaker.  

My son does not want to leave scouting - he does not want to change troops - but I am at a loss of how to address this in the best way for him.  

 

(PS if my scoutmaster reads this, please feel free to contact me about this post)  

Did you talk to the boys in the Troop about this, or just the adult leaders?  The adult leaders are not the Troop leaders, the boys are.