I Have More Important Things to Do

[OldGrayOwl 10]

I was talking to one of the dad's in my troop over this past weekend and I asked him how come he doesn't go camping with his son and the troop.

 

His response was "I Have More Important Things to Do, and I do have a full time job, you know".

 

I tried to explain to him that I have other things to do besides Scouting, and he said that he just cannot ignore his responsibilities at home or at work.

 

I went on to explain to him that if it wasn't for the adults in the troop, there wouldn't be any Scout troop, but that did not sway him from his position.

 

I decided to stop talking to him and walk away before I said some rather unlike Scout comments.

[CalicoPenn 729]

He has more important things to do than to be active in his own son's life?

 

What a sad, little man.

 

Calico

[Its Me 10]

 

I have way more important things to do than reply to this thread.

 

 

 

[evmori 11]

Unfortunately, there are too many moms & dads like this!

[local1400 10]

Does your unit have insufficient leaders OGO? Maybe dad doesn't like camping. Maybe there are a dozen more kids at home? Maybe his job isn't 9 to 5 with weekends off? Maybe his reply to you was not what he intended to say? When I was a Scout, no mommies or daddies ever went with us, just the troop leaders. It is what we volunteered for. We have (or make) the time, some don't or can't. I Scout when I can, but family and work come first. No work, no house. I have more important things to do, but I like Scouting so I spend the time I can. Plus, I am of the opinion that too many mommies and daddies on a campout undercut the program (asking mommy instead of PL or SPL), and interfere when they should observe. Scouting can be parentally competitive not unlike sports or pageants.

[hotdesk 10]

Since you said "my troop" I'm assuming your a Scoutmaster or Assistant Scoutmaster...

 

So the first thing I would do would be to make an announcement, at the next Court of Honor, that all parents are expected to attend at least 1 outing a year. This way parents know the expectation, can make plans with work accordingly, and pick the campout that best suits their interest.

 

If your actual problem is adult participation, on a whole, I would pick a responsiblity that doesn't require a lot of time at meetings or outings (Activities Coordinator, Fundraiser Chair, repairing troop equipment, etc.) and specifically ask that parent to complete that task or position. Remind him that a scout is helpful and that parents are good examples for their sons. Remind him again that all parents are expected to participate in your troop.

[Dizzy ona cliff 11]

If any in your troop has some musical talent then maybe for entertainment at your next Court of Honor have them perform a few scout songs and toss in the song Father & Son by Cat Stevens.

[Stosh 3452]

As a BSA SM and a Venturing ADV, I too have more important things I could be doing, but not having grown up, being irresposible, and prefer to have fun before I have to go to a nursing home, I'm glad I never grew up too much so as to forget that being a kid and being with kids keeps one from thinking that what they do is more important than what they are.

 

Long live Peter Pan!!

 

Stosh

[Gold Winger 9]

I guess that we need to decided if Scouting is supposed to be parent/son bonding time or an opportunity for a boy to learn how to survive without a parent around 24/7.

 

[FireKat 10]

How about a bit of both, GW?

 I think it is also good for the boys to see their parent(s) being a bit more kid like than alwas to 'adult'.

 

 

"I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up"

Kat

[Ohio_Scouter 10]

One of the nicest things anyone ever said to me came from the father of a Boy Scout who thanked me for volunteering so much of my time helping his son and his buddies in our scouting program. This guy was a tradesman who had 3 kids and worked several jobs to make ends meet. He often worked nights and weekends, so he wasn't able to spend much time hiking, camping, or backpacking with the Boy Scouts, but he clearly recognized the value and benefits to his son of the time spent by other scout fathers, and he wasn't ashamed to tell me so.

 

I was happy to do it. My son was in scouting at the time, and I planned to be there anyway, so it really wasn't any extra effort for me, and I had lots of fun with the scouts and scouters, so why not?

[evmori 11]

Get this guy a copy of Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin!

[scoutingagain 20]

With all due respect gang, I tend to agree with OhioScouter.

 

Unless a unit is really having trouble fielding sufficient adult support for outings I think taking an answer like, " I really don't like camping or I have better things to do." should be taken at face value. Maybe the guy is taking care of his sick mother, grandmother, volunteering at Habitat for Humanity, is in the National Guard and headed overseas, or maybe he's just a selfish SOB. Doesn't matter to me. Our job is to provide his son the best scouting progam we can and the unit I serve has more adults than it needs on most outings. If that program is threatened by lack of adult participation though, a little arm twisting maybe needed, but otherwise, (to digress to the other thread a bit) if he gets his son to meetings/outings on time and doesn't complain. Fine by me.

 

Frankly, In the unit I serve we have too many parents come along. I don't mean adult leaders with sons in the unit, I mean parents/guardians who only come when their son goes along and their son only camps when their parent/guardian is available. For some of them I'd like to see the parents stay home once in a while.

 

SA

 

 

[Eamonn 61]

All of us make the choice about what is and what isn't important to us.

Looking back at the choices I made, some of them now seem wrong, some seemed right, then wrong and now seem right again.

At the end of the day we promise to do our best.

For a very long time I was guilty of talking the talk and not walking the walk.

I'd tell new adults to Scouting that Family,Work and Church should come before Scouting. While all the while I was neglecting my family.

I have a friend in another Council who got so involved in Scouting that his marriage fell apart and his wife left him.

He tried to make a big joke of it. He served as a Council Vice President, soon after his wife left he had a big difference of opinion with the Council Executive Board and he was out. About the same time he was forced to take early retirement.

Sad to say right now he is a very bitter, lonely fellow living alone in a small apartment.

We really should try not to judge others until we have walked a mile in their moccasins.

Eamonn.

[OldGrayOwl 10]

I was just a bit upset (I got over it), when he said that.

On outings, we do not have any problem getting adults to help out and yes, he does have a 8-4 job, 5 days a week.

 

For our COH, he doesn't even come to those. I can see the feelings in the eyes of the Scouts that have parents that don't come to those, while their buddies are showing off their accomplishments to their parents.

 

We are going on a campout that is in a location that has some history in it that,(according to his son), his dad would like to see and talk about to the troop.

 

When I asked him about joining us for that weekend trip is when I got the response from him. His son was standing nearby and when his dad said that, the son turned away and left the building.

 

I do not think he can't come because he is busy, or that he might have "stage fright" from talking to a small group in the field (he is a Sunday school teacher), he just can't seem to be bothered with his son on a campout.

 

For those that responded with comments like "too many mommies and daddies on a campout undercut the program", I agree, but when the son comes to me and asks if it would be OK for his dad to join us on a camping trip, is how this got started in the first place.