That's one way to leave a unit

[Armymutt]

Well, it looks like they want to step things up a notch.  We attended another troop's meeting last night.  My son loved it.  The SM/ASMs don't run things because the SPL is competent and doesn't spend the meeting playing around and picking on little kids.  I submitted the transfer from the old troop to the new troop before we left the meeting.  This evening, I got an email from the old troop saying my son was being removed for behavior issues.  It was also sent to the District committee members, most of whom are my friends.  I'm meeting with the Council SE tomorrow.  Right now, I'm on the "ban that SM from all positions within the Council or I file charges with the sheriff's department" wagon.  Too extreme?  The troop could have quietly accepted our departure on Saturday morning.  Instead, they decided to broadcast this across the District.  I'm going to Round Table tomorrow night with the new unit's numbers on my uniform.  That is sure to get some questions, especially since people saw me with the old numbers on Friday night.  I have no problem telling them the truth of what happened.  

[InquisitiveScouter]

19 minutes ago, Armymutt said:

"ban that SM from all positions within the Council or I file charges with the sheriff's department"

Do not issue an ultimatum.

If you feel that strongly, file the charges.  That might be enough to get him suspended.

Ask yourself, what is the right thing to do?

[Armymutt]

9 minutes ago, InquisitiveScouter said:

Do not issue an ultimatum.

If you feel that strongly, file the charges.  That might be enough to get him suspended.

Ask yourself, what is the right thing to do?

I wasn't planning on issuing an ultimatum.  It's more of a flow chart in my head.  My ultimate goal is to protect Scouts from a 53 y/o person who is not in complete control of his emotions.  If the SE does the right thing and bans him, cool.  If not, then that leaves me no other recourse but to take it outside of Scouting.  I'd rather not draw negative attention from outsiders, but we have to do the right thing or we're not much different than we were when we got into the YP mess.  

[jcousino]

1 hour ago, Armymutt said:

Well, it looks like they want to step things up a notch.  We attended another troop's meeting last night.  My son loved it.  The SM/ASMs don't run things because the SPL is competent and doesn't spend the meeting playing around and picking on little kids.  I submitted the transfer from the old troop to the new troop before we left the meeting.  This evening, I got an email from the old troop saying my son was being removed for behavior issues.  It was also sent to the District committee members, most of whom are my friends.  I'm meeting with the Council SE tomorrow.  Right now, I'm on the "ban that SM from all positions within the Council or I file charges with the sheriff's department" wagon.  Too extreme?  The troop could have quietly accepted our departure on Saturday morning.  Instead, they decided to broadcast this across the District.  I'm going to Round Table tomorrow night with the new unit's numbers on my uniform.  That is sure to get some questions, especially since people saw me with the old numbers on Friday night.  I have no problem telling them the truth of what happened.  

Looks like a case of slander toward you and your son. If the new troop wanted a recommendation from the old troop they should have your knowledge and consent. But is hard to control word of mouth. Email is an overstep. Action to remove a scout should be defined somewhere at the council level.

[Armymutt]

1 hour ago, jcousino said:

Looks like a case of slander toward you and your son. If the new troop wanted a recommendation from the old troop they should have your knowledge and consent. But is hard to control word of mouth. Email is an overstep. Action to remove a scout should be defined somewhere at the council level.

It didn't go to the new troop - it's in a different district.  We live on the edge of our district.  It's a 30 minute drive to the new troop, but it's also a 30 minute drive to the kids' school, so no biggie for me.  I'm tempted to email everyone who was on the message, but I'm going to wait and see how the SE meeting goes tomorrow.  I know the dad who I was talking to that night was asked to write another statement out for council this evening.  

[Tron]

3 hours ago, Armymutt said:

I wasn't planning on issuing an ultimatum.  It's more of a flow chart in my head.  My ultimate goal is to protect Scouts from a 53 y/o person who is not in complete control of his emotions.  If the SE does the right thing and bans him, cool.  If not, then that leaves me no other recourse but to take it outside of Scouting.  I'd rather not draw negative attention from outsiders, but we have to do the right thing or we're not much different than we were when we got into the YP mess.  

 

2 hours ago, jcousino said:

Looks like a case of slander toward you and your son. If the new troop wanted a recommendation from the old troop they should have your knowledge and consent. But is hard to control word of mouth. Email is an overstep. Action to remove a scout should be defined somewhere at the council level.

 

1 hour ago, Armymutt said:

It didn't go to the new troop - it's in a different district.  We live on the edge of our district.  It's a 30 minute drive to the new troop, but it's also a 30 minute drive to the kids' school, so no biggie for me.  I'm tempted to email everyone who was on the message, but I'm going to wait and see how the SE meeting goes tomorrow.  I know the dad who I was talking to that night was asked to write another statement out for council this evening.  

So the meat of all three of these really leans into why scouting america has such low membership numbers right now. Think about how many dads/moms/guardians that have just rolled with the punch and walked away from scouting instead of transferring? Think about how many families meet a scoutmaster and experience a troop like your old troop and after that 1 year of membership just lapse and move on because they think the program is designed to be like that and how they can't expect something better in a different unit? I hope someone from national is monitoring this thread and packing this situation away for discussion at the NAM in May. Armymutt, you're doing right by your son and not giving up; and you're taking on all this stress and BS; most parents don't have the knowledge of the program and think it's the S-head unit or walk. 

[Armymutt]

My visit to Council went well.  I kind of cornered the program director while waiting to talk to the SE.  What he told me made me feel better.  He understand the situation far clearer than I thought he did.  I told I was concerned because I hadn't had a response to my email from Saturday morning.  He apologized and said they should have contacted me.  They are waiting for instructions from higher up the chain - outside of Council.  The Camping Program Exec told me that her impression was that there is a group of kids who get some sort of pleasure from messing around with 11 y/os who were minding their business.  This was completely unprompted.  

In other news, looks like I'm going to be teaching, or helping teach, IOLS at summer camp.  Looking forward to that!

[fred8033]

@Armymutt ... I have nothing much to add except your situation is not really that unusual.  I've seen it several times in my years.  Youth issues that reflect of adult conflict.  Usually, it results in changing units.  

Always, look for positive growth experiences for your kid.  It might mean changing units or changing hobbies.  

Wishing you the best.

Edited April 1 by fred8033

[Armymutt]

Is ScouterStan a secret member here?