Well.... I Quit

[5thGenTexan 504]

Told the Troop I was done with em tonight.  Now, I gotta find a new place for my son. 

[SiouxRanger 491]

Well, some folks just cannot be reasoned with, nor have the insight into their own actions to see any other path but their own. The reasons are varied, but no amount of discussion will change anything.

Move on to a "better fit" unit.  They are out there. 

Thoughtful folks are always at a disadvantage in dealing with the thoughtless.  "Surely, if I explain well enough, they'll see the light."  Generally, no.

It is not a big deal to move on.  Some from the old troop may follow, hopefully some of your scout's friends.  Or you can invite some of your scout's friends to "test drive" your scout's new unit.

you-parent-your attendance at troop meetings and campouts in the new unit is critical to "lead by example" to your scout and reassure your scout that the new unit is OK.  Tell your scout that we are just "test driving" this unit-some troop meetings and campouts. "Give it a try and we can talk after we've attended several activities."

Good luck.

[SiouxRanger 491]

Another critical factor you need to consider is that your scout will only be in scouting for a limited number of years.  Waste a year dealing with idiots is very precious year lost. (Well, they may not be idiots, just idiot impersonators, or perhaps much worse-sometimes hard to tell.)

You can't afford to lose a year dealing with the Big "I"'s for that year will never be back for you and your scout.

[5thGenTexan 504]

I need to talk to him I think.  I'm not really sure if he been going to Troop Meetings because he wants to or because I want him to go.  He has said before he feels like he is letting me down if he doesn't go.  

[BetterWithCheddar 125]

I'm very sorry your situation became untenable.

Good luck. Thanks for always pushing for better program, despite your frustration.

[5thGenTexan 504]

I want to ask here.  Is demanding Scouts do one thing OR do push-ups considered corporal punishment in 2023 in the barriers to abuse?  Yelling loudly, not to be heard but angry... pick up trash or do push ups.

 

I haven't slept all night worrying I'm putting Scouts in danger if I quit and dont stand up for thier safety.

Edited August 5, 2023 by 5thGenTexan

[DuctTape 1231]

27 minutes ago, 5thGenTexan said:

I want to ask here.  Is demanding Scouts do one thing OR do push-ups considered corporal punishment in 2023 in the barriers to abuse?  Yelling loudly, not to be heard but angry... pick up trash or do push ups.

 

I haven't slept all night worrying I'm putting Scouts in danger if I quit and dont stand up for thier safety.

It could be.

 

It definitely isn't part of Scouting.

[BetterWithCheddar 125]

1 hour ago, 5thGenTexan said:

I want to ask here.  Is demanding Scouts do one thing OR do push-ups considered corporal punishment in 2023 in the barriers to abuse? 

I honestly don't know, but that's not an environment I would have wanted to be a part of a as a youth, nor one I would tolerate as an adult.

[InquisitiveScouter 1656]

1 hour ago, 5thGenTexan said:

I want to ask here.  Is demanding Scouts do one thing OR do push-ups considered corporal punishment in 2023 in the barriers to abuse?  Yelling loudly, not to be heard but angry... pick up trash or do push ups.

 

I haven't slept all night worrying I'm putting Scouts in danger if I quit and dont stand up for thier safety.

OK, so what happens if the Scouts do neither??  What are the consequences??

"Pick up trash or do push-ups" is just plain silly, and shows a lack of understanding in dealing with youth.  In the Scouts' minds, you cannot really make them do either, so to make this ultimatum makes the leader look foolish.

I do not see this as a safety issue...  nor corporal punishment... 

It is hazing, however.  Which is also prohibited.

If, indeed, this demand was made by a leader, and the push ups were imposed somehow, then you'd be obligated to report it.  If you intend to do so, recommend you find a second person to corroborate your story.

"Physical violence, sexual activity, emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, unauthorized weapons, hazing, discrimination, harassment, initiation rites, bullying, cyberbullying, theft, verbal insults, drugs, alcohol, and pornography have no place in the Scouting program and may result in revocation of membership."

 

 

 

[SSScout 1616]

Scoutmaster's Minute  (or ASM's Minute?):::   

What part of the Scout Promise and/or Law applies here?   Are your actions in accordance with either? Or do you really agree with the ideals of Scouting?   These ideals have been around for a loooong time, in one form or another, not just in Scouting.   You want Bible verses? We can find 'em. You want Stuff from the Koran?  we can find'em.  Code of Hammurabi?  Yep, they are there....

Golden Rule?  Yep.   Treat others as you would want to be treated.  How is it FAIR  that some Scouts do the work and others sit around smiling.... Ummmm?  

So.   We ask you Scouts to repeat, recite the Scout Promise and Scout Law.  What do they mean TO YOU ?  Are they just words, or do they MEAN something ?  

 

[AwakeEnergyScouter 247]

Yelling angrily over something as petty as taking out the trash is definitely a red flag. It's not hitting, but it's certainly inappropriate to go through with if they don't, and very unbecoming for a scout or scouter even if it doesn't violate any specific policy. If I were you, I'd tell someone in a position of doing something about it and/or needing to know of unscoutlike behavior going on. You do have an ethical duty to do something with the red flag, but if you are needed to physically protect scouts the answer isn't for you to be a martyr but for the CO and/or the BSA to either fix it or disband the whole thing. If a single particular person is needed for physical safety, then it's definitely time to just stop. So many things have gone wrong at that point.

This unit is just a dumpster fire, huh? It seems you made the right decision not just for you but also your scout. 

[T2Eagle 902]

Those kinds of ultimatums are just dumb, and bad parenting, bad leadership, etc.  Because, among other things, they're not instilling discipline, rather they're relinquishing it.  

What if the kid picks pushups?  The trash still isn't taken out.

4 hours ago, 5thGenTexan said:

I want to ask here.  Is demanding Scouts do one thing OR do push-ups considered corporal punishment in 2023 in the barriers to abuse?  Yelling loudly, not to be heard but angry... pick up trash or do push ups.

 

I haven't slept all night worrying I'm putting Scouts in danger if I quit and dont stand up for thier safety.

It's worth remembering that you're not the ultimate person in charge of the unit.  The instances you've cited are bad.  Write them down, with dates, places, and names, and take them to your COR.  That is who is responsible for the behavior of the adults in the unit, and they along with the org are who is going to be held accountable.

[yknot 1338]

Document what you have experienced and present it to not just the CO but also the Council and confirm that it has been received. Kids who are being bullied or hazed by adults or other scouts are kids at risk from more than just psychological harm. A side effect of bullying/hazing is that it can lead to poor decision making and bad or ill informed judgements in safety situations. Leave, but do your best to protect the scouts you leave behind as you are thinking to do. 

[5thGenTexan 504]

1 hour ago, T2Eagle said:

Those kinds of ultimatums are just dumb, and bad parenting, bad leadership, etc.  Because, among other things, they're not instilling discipline, rather they're relinquishing it.  

What if the kid picks pushups?  The trash still isn't taken out.

It's worth remembering that you're not the ultimate person in charge of the unit.  The instances you've cited are bad.  Write them down, with dates, places, and names, and take them to your COR.  That is who is responsible for the behavior of the adults in the unit, and they along with the org are who is going to be held accountable.

The COR is being wishy washy not wanting to make a decision at the risk of losing volunteers.  So, no help.

[5thGenTexan 504]

To be clear... this isn't taking out the trash.  None of do that, not even leadership.  I always make sure it's taken care of for cleanliness.  Iam talking about a police line on camp before leaving.