That Cub leader and his unmotivated Scout

[Basementdweller]

As SM we deal with unmotivated boys.

 

I am repeatedly being confronted by a former Cub leader regarding his boy that is in our Troop.

 

Lad is a bully, undermines youth leadership, is our troop sex expert and freely shares knowledge with anyone who will ask, He swears like a sailor and has been implicated in several thefts that have occurred in our unit.

 

I have with held my recommendation when he recently asked for it to staff a council day camp and told him very specifically why. Which he failed to relay to dad and I had to explain to him why and then be called a liar by cub parent.

 

 

Honestly I am tired of being beat up by parents because their scouts are not advancing quick enough for their liking. I have asked him on a couple of occasions for his next ranks SMC, he is apparently too busy for, Parent says I need to force him to do it.

 

 

So some suggestion on how to deal with this parent.

[blw2]

Sorry, I can't offer any sage advice..... but it makes me think of the recent episode of "The Middle"

Dad was recruited to be the "Assistant Soccer Coach" for his daughter's team. The coach didn't tell him, but it was all a grand plan for Coach's immediate exit.

Very funny..... and very applicable to Scout Leadership.

[SM bob]

Well this might seem harsh, but I would recommend talking to the scout and his dad about his behavior. I would say forget about rank, the scout is not living up to the scout law or oath and if it continues the scout will be asked to leave the troop. A bad scout is like a cancer, you have to cut it out. I have seen it and unfortunately did not get it address until it caused a problems with other scouts. As for parents complaining about ranks, I tell them our troop is about scouting and not ranks. It's up to the scout to rank up. I push the boy leaders to make sure campouts and meetings are setup to work on requirements and skills, but after 1st class it's up to the scouts.

[King Ding Dong]

Hmmm. You must not like direct confrontation. I have a pretty good idea of what you would say to this parent if they made a post here about the issue.

[Hueymungus]

Time to come clean with this Dad like SM Bob and King Ding Dong say. Tell the Dad what your telling us.

[SSScout]

If the boy is as you present, there are other witnesses, adult preferably. Ask to speak to the parent, this time with the other witness(s) in company. Make sure that the parent realizes that to accuse YOU of being (in effect) a liar about his boy's behavior is also accusing these other good people of the same. In my career as a sub teacher, I had to participate in such a meeting. It was not pretty, but it finally got the parent to confront his own daughter (!) about her behavior. Things improved over the next few weeks.

 

If necessary , (it will be), you may have to have the same meeting between the parent, the witnesses, AND the boy. The provocation of such might even make the boy act up in his parent's presence to prove your point. Be prepared to give specific examples of his language and behavior, giving events and places and times.

 

 

Good (better?) Scouting to YOU, my friend.

[Tampa Turtle]

I agree. We had issues with a (kinda lazy) scout who still wanted to make Eagle like his Eagle Dad, Boy would skirt requirements, game, not engage in patrol/troop activities, etc. Eventually we help up his POR credit and while the Dad got angry (literally stalking the hall way during BOR's) eventually a face to face discussion yielded his response "OH you are one of those Troops where they REALLY have to do those things. I don't know". Once the expectations were known he supported us though the boy dropped out anyway.

[Basementdweller]

I have had this conversation with dad......

 

Every time I get a phone call sunday night about what billy new scout learned from billy sex scout on last weekend outing. or the new urban slang for a sex act, I ask to come over and to speak with mom, dad and scout.

 

It ends with rolling eyes and denying accusations.......

 

Hopefully they will leave after the next court of honor and he still hasn't advanced.