AnnLaurelB 10 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 Oh, sure. We've always had permission to use it, and the SM knew about it, because I confirmed when the Troop was in there, so the Webs wouldn't bother them. But evidently, the CO is going to cut the Troop's support by some this upcoming fiscal year (and ours -- times are tough for everyone), so he's asked us to pitch in. To the Trustee Chair, she implied that he had no idea how to run an event, and to the CORep, she implied that he had no idea how to work with children. The pastor commissioned me as a member of the church to present God & Me starting this past Monday, and invite any Scouting families to attend. EVERY Tiger, Wolf, and Bear Cub was there, for which I am very grateful, and very relieved. They still support me and the Wolf DL. Two of the moms came to talk to the DL and I afterward (the two kids with the Award snafus), and asked if we thought they'd been unreasonable on Sat. We told them they hadn't been (they hadn't). Each lady expressed what we've been afraid of all along -- that the CC and the Adv gal's ~attitudes~ were turning people off. We did our best to reassure them that changes were in the works. We just have to figure out how to regroup! Link to post Share on other sites
Tampa Turtle 1011 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Ann. God Bless You. Link to post Share on other sites
Twocubdad 665 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I suppose we're past discussing stuff like the fact that the Cubmaster should be running the B&G program, not the CC, huh? I also think you missed a couple great opportunities here: "You know, you understand this schedule thing so much better than I do and you present yourself so eloquently, I think you ought to talk to Mr. Trustee Chairman directly. Here, let me get him on the phone for you." Anyway.... So what's the frigging hold up? Waiting on a replacement? Isn't that what got you into this mess in the first place? Link to post Share on other sites
AnnLaurelB 10 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 Our Commissioner stressed that we needed to have SOMEONE'S name to put down for the CC before we let 3 Committee members go. (Well, 2 members, but the 3rd won't hang around without the other 2). I have made my suggestions as to who it "should" be, but that's up to the CORep and the pastor. My first choice is the SM, but he's reluctant to try to wear both "hats". The other choices are the youth pastor at the church, or the children's minister. Heck, I'd take the music director; who cares? Just put SOMEBODY'S name down! I'm still waiting for word back from the pastor & CORep on what they're going to do (and when!). Link to post Share on other sites
AnnLaurelB 10 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 Wow. I'm glad I wasn't at that meeting. The resultant email I got from Herself was mighty ugly. How the Pack will fold because of this, etc... I guess that was to be expected. Although I think if it had been me, I would have just maintained radio silence, myself. I answered as kindly and diplomatically as I could, citing a "difference of perspective..." I got back a really snarky, "You just keep repeating those words". I asked the pastor to be as kind about it as possible, because I know it had to come as a blow. The good news is that she's already been working getting another Pack started, so she has that to occupy her. She is angry, though, of course. Rejection sucks. I tried to offer a can-we-agree-to-disagree kind of truce, but she's having none of it. Trying to reason with her is like trying to drink from a firehose~ you just get blasted into the street. I hope she finds folks who like to be managed. Now...moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnLaurelB 10 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 TwoCubDad: To answer your question, yes. It comes down to one person wanting the attention of the Cubmaster, but with the control of the Chair. There's a reason the same person isn't supposed to wear both hats. We were all supposed to let this gal do whatever she wanted, because of that "Chair" title, but if any of us pushed back and said, "Um... how about we do such-and-such?", we were quickly squelched. Because I pushed back, I was labeled "insubordinate". "But ... but ... that's my job." "Well, then THIS is how it will be done." And by golly, you'd better do exactly as she said, or she'd call you OUT, right there and then. "That is NOT how you were instructed to do that!" I know it sounds surreal. It was. I read the account I've given myself, and think, "Jeez." But like Dave Barry says, I swear I am not making this up! Edit: I forgot to mention that what she seems most upset about is that I "went over her head". But ... isn't my going to the CORep with my concerns *exactly* what I'm supposed to do? And isn't holding a Committee meeting ABOUT me going "behind my back" to the exact same degree? (This message has been edited by annlaurelb) Link to post Share on other sites
Roadkill Patrol 23 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I am glad for you that they were removed and maybe now you can move the pack forward without having the puppet strings attached. By the way, watch out if she started a new pack. She may very well try to pull kids from your pack over to hers. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnLaurelB 10 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 She IS taking her 2 Webelos, who are the sons of the 2 moms who did her bidding. They'll all be happier together; and it's out of this county, so it's unlikely that most of these kids would go over there. In her email, she stated that she didn't think the Tiger mom would let her boy stay, but he's in the middle of God & Me at the CO church. She'd have to pull him out of that, and I'm not sure she'll do it. Her son plays in the same basketball league as my son, and we're quite friendly. I hope people won't be too quick to take up this gal's offense; she's so sure that everyone's going to walk away without her in charge. We'll keep our Bears and Wolves for sure, since they're lead by myself and the mom who went to bat for me. The 4 moms, 3 dads, 2 grandmas, and 1 grandpa have all been very supportive all along. They see us interact with their kids every week. It's only the moms whom I didn't get to see but once a month that the CC gal poisoned against everyone who didn't do exactly as she said. We're going to be fine. We may stay small, but I'm okay with that. Link to post Share on other sites
qwazse 4342 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Rejection sucks. No, holding on to what is not rightfully yours, stinks. If you come in to jump-start a program, then you jump off as quickly as possible. All of us (you too, ALB) should be in the business of finding our replacement and fading in to the background. The nation wasn't cultivated by Johnny's dumping all of their apple seeds in one massive mound! Finding out that a unit is not your little fiefdom is a healthy discovery. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnLaurelB 10 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 Yep! I know that our job is to work ourselves OUT of a job! I've got my eye on grooming a Wolf dad to be my ACM next season, then maybe we'll swap roles my son's Web2 1/2 year, then bring another ACM behind me, etc... I am in love with the word, "fiefdom". :0) Link to post Share on other sites
Papadaddy 121 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Classic. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnLaurelB 10 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 Hallelujah, amen. Yes, I believe you might be right about that. The sad thing about NPD is that by it's very nature, it's nearly impossible to get an NPD person to understand that THEY are the ones who need adjustment. No. No, if you think *I* need adjustment, you are clearly the enemy. It's the whole world that needs adjusting, not me. I think that's a reasonable diagnosis. I hope she finds some peace about this. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnLaurelB 10 Posted March 12, 2012 Author Share Posted March 12, 2012 I'm not going to go into details, but the Council COUNSEL (read: Lawyer) has filed a cease and desist on a certain someone, with the promise of prosecution for defamation of character (of myself and our Pack) if the c&d isn't obeyed. I told the UC that wasn't necessary as far as *I* was concerned, but he said at this point, "It's a matter of principle." Someone's going to have their Cert yanked for lying. O.o Link to post Share on other sites
AKdenldr 33 Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 Wow, all that in 3 short days. Focus on the boys. Focus on your son. -- AK Link to post Share on other sites
Brewmeister 132 Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 AnnLaurelB, I've enjoyed (is that the right word) reading your trials and tribulations over the past several months. I'm glad it has worked out! One thing you can be glad of, and that is that your CC and COR were not one and the same. I had dealt with that unfortunate dual-role command-and-controller for several years until the leaders basically banded together to "mutiny," and she left "voluntarily." Link to post Share on other sites
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