dfolson Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Hey all, I was asked to be a MBC for my Sons Troop for Swimming. OK, no problem there. I am now registered with the District and all up to date. I was recently asked by my son and another boy if they could start the Swimming MB with me. I said 'No problem, just show me your blue cards'. Still no problem... Day 1, my son and other boy meet me at the pool (other boy's dad is there too) and they did great. Knocked off several requirements. Now here is my concern. My son has asked several times since if we could go to the pool and work on more, so we have and he has made great progress. I am concerned on whether I should sign off on the requirements he has done with just he and I there. The other Scout has made no attempt to contact me and ask me to continue - which I would be happy to do. I know I have been harder on my son than I would be for another Scout as I want there to be NO question that he DID the requirements. Am I blowing this out of proportion? I am the only Swimming MB Counselor registered with the Troop, so he would have to find someone else in the district to work with if I don't. I am interested in feedback from the forum. YiS, David Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bnelon44 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I don't see any problem with you working with your son. Optionally You might want to discuss it with the other Scout and encourage him to attend the sessions. But I wouldn't make getting your son signed off based upon the other scout being there. To do so would be adding to the requirements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moosetracker Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 If your SM signed off on your being your son's MBC for swimming, then he put faith in you to be fair. You do want to be fair with your son, and sign him off on what he accomplished.. Just as bnelon said, take some time to encourage the other scout to join in. Always let him know when you will be at the pool, and he is welcome to attend etc.. But, if your son is working hard, then it is not a requirement that the other boy advance in tandum with him or he can not advance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venividi Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 dfolson, When your son asks to go to the pool, ask your son if he has invited the other boy. If he hasn't, that is an opportunity for a lesson in citizenship for your son - that a scout is concerned for his fellow scouts. Gets scouts to think of others. As MB counsellor, it is not your responsibility to chase scouts to work on a MB, but it would be a scout's place to contact another scout and ask him to come along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfolson Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Venividi, Great suggestion!! p.s. SM did approve it (and me) to work with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GKlose Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Yeah, I don't see the problem at all...son asks to go to the pool, and you respond, "sure, maybe you can call Chad and see if he'd like to get something signed off today too". Or else, maybe it turns into just an instructional session with your son, where he becomes a much better swimmer than he used to be. No big deal. When the time comes, both of them can do their "test" where they swim the 100 yds for each stroke, or whatever the requirements are. As far as treating sons differently, I understand that too. I counsel a couple of badges where there aren't that many local counselors. My sons were interested in one of them, and yes, they worked just a little bit harder than other Scouts have had to, but all within the scope of the requirements :-). If it was too bad, I'm sure they'd find another counselor the next time! Guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle92 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I'm going to be a bit more pessimistic, so please just bear with me. I've seen how rumors can start, and how accusations of "giving your son the MB" can arise. Especially if it has actually happened in your district, i.e. granddad and dad being MBCs for all the MBs a scout earned (Please do not get me started on that situation, I beg of you ) Unless I'm the only one qualified, I would avoid being an MBC for my kids. If I had to, I would want it to be in a group setting and giving all the scouts equal opportunity. So I would agree with all the others, get your son to invite the other scout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venividi Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I'll add a clarification and comment or two: If your son calls to invite the other scout, and the other scout doesn't want to or can't come, dont feel guilty about signing requirements that your son completes. Eventually your son will get the message that you expect him to call his fellow scout before he asks you to go to the pool to work on the MB. I like the suggestions that in the future, strongly consider not working with your son on a MB when there are other counsellors for the topic in the area. Per the MB program material, having a scout call a n adult that he does not know to ask him/her to be a counsellor is one of the benefits of the MB program. I am not a fan of MB classes because the classroom setting eliminates benefits such as a scout calling to set up appointments with his MB counsellor. If you are only recently a MB counsellor, you will experience that most scouts that start a MB will not finish. Do not be surprised. It's not the counsellor's responsibility to make sure that they finish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortridge Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 " ... so he would have to find someone else in the district to work with if I don't." This is not a bad thing. It should be fairly easy, in fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oak Tree Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 There is no official problem at all. Everything is easily within the BSA guidelines. If your troop has additional guidelines, then you'd want to be sure you were within them. The guideline in this case might be "The SM won't approve adults to work with their own son as a merit badge counselor unless the son is part of a larger group." But I don't know whether there is any such actual written guideline by the troop. You seem to indicate that there is at least such an implied rule within the troop. In that case, I think it would certainly be ok to check with the SM and make sure everything is fine as far as he is concerned. It would also be good if your son was to invite the other Scout along every time you went to the pool. In most cases, there shouldn't be any issue here. As long as adults act like adults, no problem. Of course, we know that doesn't always happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghermanno Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 David, First, there's no rule against a parent(relative) being a MBC for a relative. Second, you are not registered as a Troop MBC, you are a District MBC that happens to be associated with the Troop as well. Enjoy Scouting with your family. Rick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basementdweller Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Ya but there will be folks running their mouths behind your back about you and your son....Is it worth it?????? I would do as Vendi suggested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callooh! Callay!1428010939 Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Yes - folks may talk about you. Talking takes less effort than doing. You know what kind of people talk the kind of talk we're talking about here - and you know just how concerned you should be with what they think. Let them talk. You keep on doing what you know is right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basementdweller Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 So CC, What is the lesson learned by dad being merit badge councilor????? Sure dad can check the boxes? Is that all the merit badge is???? It is merely a set of 21 mini lists to be checked off while your checking off your Rank Check lists on your way to eagle????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callooh! Callay!1428010939 Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 "What is the lesson learned by dad being merit badge councilor????? " We'd have to refer to the MB requirements to answer that question. It'd be different for each MB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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