A BOR Horror Story

[gwd-scouter]

Our Advancement Chair told me a story of a Scout in another Troop and his First Class BOR. This particular Scout was in a Webelos Den that visited our Troop and went camping with us almost two years ago. His mother, the Den Leader, and the Scouts decided to join another Troop. They were dismayed after joining to find out that their Troop was not going to our Council camp for summer camp and she, her son, a Dad, and two other Scouts went with us during our week. One Scout (his Mom is our Advancement Chair) decided after camp to transfer to our Troop. The others continued with the Troop they had joined.

 

Now the story. Our Advancement Chair (AC) was talking with Mom (the former Den Leader) of the Scout in the other Troop. AC mentioned that her son had just earned First Class rank. The other Scout's Mom said sadly that her son had been turned down, for the second time, for advancement to First Class. She said his BOR lasted an hour and a half. Said he failed a few of the retests.

 

Mom of the other Scout said he was ready to quit Scouts. She is making him stay until he gets First Class and then he can quit.

 

Oh how I wish he had joined our Troop.

[jmwalston]

"Oh how I wish he had joined our Troop."

 

Why don't you invite him to a couple of your meetings?

[SSScout]

"Retests"????????

[John-in-KC]

A sharply pointed question from you to their Committee Chair at Roundtable is in order. This is not time for a friendly cup of coffee.

 

As for the boy, have your SPL invite him to your Troop... yesterday!

[Lisabob]

With respect John, I do not think a sharply pointed question from an SM of one troop, to the CC of another troop, in a public meeting like RT, is in order at all.

 

Praise in public, punish(criticize) in private. If gwd were to feel the need to talk with some other troop about their program - and really I'm not sure that would work out well anyway as it would probably raise all sorts of defensive hackles - she's probably better off doing it one on one. "Hey, I heard from a parent that there's a boy in your troop who is really struggling to get to 1st Cl..." might go better than "What the heck are you people doing to this poor kid?!" And maybe the UC (if there is one) for the other unit should be approached as well as, or in substitution to, the CC.

 

No matter whether that other unit is doing things right or wrong, I think a public criticism from out of the blue would be seen very much as sticking one's nose into other people's business.

 

In the meantime though, nothing wrong with the boy being invited to visit again by friends from school who happen also to be in your troop.

 

 

[gwd-scouter]

I don't know who their Committee Chair is and the SM only comes to roundtable if he has a Scout doing an Eagle BOR. Besides, raising defensive hackles would certainly occur if I made any kind of remark or criticism or even asked a question about his program. So I won't go there, as the kids say.

 

As for the Scout. He and his Den Leader Mom went with us to summer camp in '07. As I mentioned, they had joined the other Troop but wanted to go to our council camp for his first time and their troop was going somewhere else. I had some difficulty with Mom, getting her to step back from her son and let him do things on his own. She had problems with our boy-led ways. She thought it ridiculous that we wore the full uniform during those times that camp requested it (their Troop is shirt only). Our poor SPL got quite an earful of complaints from her (about me mostly).

 

When we returned from camp, one of the Scouts from the other Troop that went with us said to me - I really want to join your Troop. He transferred to us the next week. He tried to get his friend to transfer too, but to no avail. Mom is registered as an ASM with that Troop and maybe she likes the adult-led type of Troop. I don't know.

 

My husband has run into Mom a couple of times this year and she has made the comment that she thinks she made a mistake staying with their Troop. Perhaps it's her pride that is keeping them there. Again, I don't know.

 

I'm not saying our Troop is perfect. It is not by any stretch, nor am I. It's just that I see our Scouts having such a good time, showing up for everything, getting the most out of their program, that we must be doing some things right. I am disappointed when a guy quits Scouting, maybe because he's just not into it, but it really angers me to hear about a guy quitting Scouting because of adults behaving badly.

[Beavah]

Yah, hmmmm....

 

As always, I reckon it's worth takin' mom with a grain of salt, eh? Especially if she was a challenging parent in the past. Circumstances "on the ground" at da actual BOR might be a fair bit different than what mom suggests.

 

I think it's fine to let the boy's old friend invite him along on a trip with your troop. I wouldn't do that as an adult, but I might nudge the kid .

 

Beyond that, if yeh don't have a personal relationship with someone in da other unit or da UC, I doubt there's a good way to approach it. I do think it's a courtesy to give the SM and/or CC a call when yeh get a transfer application, just to ask how best to help the boy, find out if there's anything to be alert for, and pass some feedback along.

 

Beavah

 

[John-in-KC]

Yeah, Lisa and Beavah, you guys are right. I let courtesy fly out the window.

 

That said, I think this is a Troop ready for boy-poaching.

[evmori]

An hour and a half BOR for 1st Class? Restest? All wrong! Get this Scout out of that unit! Get all the Scouts out of that unit!(This message has been edited by evmori)