scout doesn't want recognition

[cheffy]

We have a scout who does not want to be recognized for his rank advancments etc. It's not like he is behind some of the other scouts. He says he is in it for the fun and does on want to be in the spotlight. court of Honor is coming up and he is moving up. do we respect his wishes and just give him the patch etc or announce it but not have him come up to receive the award.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[John-in-KC]

SM conference with him and his parents is in order. I laud his comments and attitude, but I'd want to be sure they are true. There may be something lurking deeper.

[Greying Beaver]

I concur with John in KC, especially about something lurking deeper. Nevertheless, keep records on his advancement work. Honor his wishes, but . . . , be prepared.

[scoutldr]

This could be just plain shyness, or a symptom of dysthymic disorder, a form of mild depression. People suffering from this may have low self-esteem and feel that they don't "deserve" the recognition, and constantly avoid things that challenge their flawed view of the world. One way to explain it to him is that is not so much for him, but for his parents, who are very proud (assuming that they are), and for the younger scouts who need encouragement.

 

How does he act otherwise?

[packsaddle]

I also agree and I like scoutldr's comments. Could be he just needs a little encouragement to get up in front of the group. However, if nothing else turns up and he still insists, I would honor his request and give him the awards privately.

[SueM]

What about just simply awarding him the rank at the end of a regular meeting..just make the announcement and give it to him with a congratulation. Don't make a big fuss about it or ask him to come in front of the other boys...it gives him some recognition without making it too uncomfortable if he's shy. Then at the court of honor just make a quiet mention of it.

[John-in-KC]

As an adult leader, I'm not a doc, nor do I play one on TV. I am, however, a caring adult, who may see a sign of trouble. It's the parents responsibility to provide, including medical or psychologic/psychiatric care for their child. We as leaders can only recommend they consider a subsequent stage.

 

That is why, Mr Scoutldr, I do not put DSM names to behavioral quirks. Unless we're licensed practicioners, and have the youth in hand for diagnosis, we just do not have that right, imo.

 

I like Ms SueM's option ... but I like it as part of a whole.(This message has been edited by John-in-KC)

[madkins007]

It COULD be a lot of things, but if he is 'in it for the fun' and seems to be having a good time, what's the big deal?

 

I'd honor his wishes (for example, does he even want his name called, but just not go up?) After all- with all the guys that seem to be chasing rank, it is kind of refreshing to see someone who seems more excited by the program itself!

 

(Of course, I'd also keep an eye on him to see if anything raises my 'spidey sense', and try to meet with his folks, just to say hi and make a conection.)

[cheffy]

Let me elaborate more. The boy could care less about the patches. Mom came up to us and wondered about advancement. We sat down with the boy and had a conf. He is missing one or two things for each rank. Explained to him what to do and how we could help. he is good with the plan. Mom also said he does not want to be the center of attention. He is however one of the most outgoing guys when he is with his peers. He will do anything you need and is very good at it. He has no desire to get Eagle but said he would help anyone who is to get there. He shows up for Eagle and other service projects. What we are looking at with him to an Instructor/guide position as he is really good about working with the younger guys.

[anarchist]

cheffy,

 

your approach should be appropriate as long as the boy is on board with it...I have seen many boys have a great time in Boy Scouting...four or five years worth and never advanced above first class...they liked the outdoors program, loved the non competitive nature of many of our offerings and most of all just wanted to "hang" with their friends...

 

Just because a boy is not driven to become an Eagle does not mean he gets nothing from the program...and just because he does not want advancement does not mean we are wasting our time...(nor is he).

 

We have a new eagle in our troop, who refuses to schedule a CoH..."just not interested"...I was asked to "lean" on him...his answer was to cock his head a bit to the side and say, "dad, I didn't earn the Eagle to have a court of honor...I did it to see if I could finish the trail we started 11 years ago, in tiger cubs..."

 

nuff said.

anarchist

[Hunt]

I would just point out to these Scouts that the COH doesn't only honor the scout receiving rank. It is also an opportunity for the Scout (especially if he is receiving Eagle) to recognize and thank those who have helped him on his way, including adult leaders, parents, and other scouts. It's a bit like deciding whether to attend your high school graduation ceremony--even if it may not mean much to you, there are other people to whom it may mean a great deal, because of their investment in you.

Just to go on a bit more in this vein--if the Scout doesn't like to be the center of attention, let him turn the attention to somebody else, perhaps the Scoutmaster who volunteered his time, or another Scout who showed him the way.

[Lynda J]

Our SM has two boys in the troop. One does not want recognition. He does not want to have things presented at COH. He simply does not like the spotlight. I would talk to him and his parents but it really is up to him.