SemperParatus

In my last year of coaching little league, the league didn't even bother providing the standard-issue canvas bag of bats and helmets. All of the boys had their own $200 titanium bats in their personally monogrammed bag, as well as their own helmet with their names imprinted on the back. I was really bummed because I had to go out and buy my son a bat. All I can think is that we have come a long way from a broom handle and a sock ball. The funny thing is that with all of that expensive, fancy equipment, the boys are really no better players then they were when I was a kid. In fact, they seem to have developed unhealthy anxieties over where they left their bat and helmet, for fear that someone else may use them or they may have to face the wrath of parents for losing such expensive apparatus. For some, this was of greater concern then the play on the field. Maybe, that is why I see so many parents carrying the kids' bat bags to and from the field. It goes without saying that the parents are really no better spectators either. I am afraid the derby is heading to the same fate. As long as it is a competitive event, you can be certain that some parents will spend whatever it takes so that their son will win. Innocence is lost. I guess it is just time that we accept that.(This message has been edited by SemperParatus)

Okay. Step One - Relax. As CM, you play a big part in the Pack program, but not the only one. There is only so much you can do, and so much influence you can have over den leaders. Step Two - Find a friend. You have no committee and so I assume no Committee Chair. Find a friend in the pack that you respect for their willingness to help the pack succeed. Get that person appointed CC by the COR. Have a nice long chat with him/her about the future direction of the pack. Together, you can achieve more at less personal cost to your time and energy, while having a shoulder to lean on when you each get down. Step Three - Focus on the boys. Let the CC deal with adults that don't want to sell popcorn or pay dues, and den leaders that don't want to get trained, and the myriad of other adult issues. Your role is to develop and carryout the pack program, infuse scouting enthusiasm for the boys and help prepare them for boy scouts. Step Four - Have fun. Even when you are not having fun, pretend that you are and soon you actually will be. Likewise, pretend that you like the difficult adults and sooner or later they will no longer be as difficult as they may now seem. Step Five - Grow that epidermis. As the big dog, you will always have some adult making negative comments. Consider, these are not necessarily aimed at you but generally come from jealousy. Learn to ignore the crappy stuff while keeping an open mind that perhaps there is a better way to do something than you originally thought. Step Six - Training for all. A committee could decide that all leaders need to be trained to continue in their role. Step Seven - Turn off the e-mail. Have all pack business conducted at committee meetings where people need to attend and explain themselves in a public forum. Step Eight - Empower others. You don't have to do it all. Empower teams of adults to put together the PWD, Blue & Gold, Picnic, etc. Let them have some fun. Step Nine - Wait. I have seen my share of old den leaders (Webelos II for example) that give no credence to the new Cubmaster. They will be gone shortly. Sometimes, you just have to let time take care of problems. Step Ten - Share. There are many people that have walked the dark valley before you. Talk to grizzled scouting veterans at roundtable and district events, this forum and elsewhere. They will assure you that what you are going through is pretty common. They will encourage you to continue in your efforts, because what you are doing is important. Good luck.

Very sad.

Any chance we can talk you out of it?

If there is a large group of Pack families that are willing to spend $50-80 on a pinewood derby car, with the expectation that it will be a winner, then I think it is time to wave the white flag and can the derby altogether. I haven't a clue what is available today. Years ago, the local craft stores carried some pre-cut non-BSA kits (about $15) that were easily identifiable. I think there were 2 or 3 different body styles and the wheels/axles were different. I had bought each of the kits and assembled them to demonstrate what would not be allowed on race day, and made them available to inspectors to ensure that the pre-fab kits were not being used. However, from your post, it sounds like this simple method is no longer possible due to a plethora of pre-cut BSA kits now available. I suppose if it is indeed a BSA kit, pre-fabbed professionally, then you really can't do too much about it. Maybe after a couple of $60 cars get blown away by little Johnny's brick car, folks will come to their senses.

mom, Please keep us posted on the final outcome. I love happy endings, and I think you are headed for one...whether you get a more reasonable COR or start a new troop with the church that wants to sponsor your group.

What!?! You didn't get the invitation to join the great new alternative site that we are all on now. I thought we sent that out to all the posters we like. Its at www......

Welcome. You sure have filled alot of roles in one year Hope you get over that cold.

Welcome Twopack Andi To the scout show Hope your stay is dandy You let us know I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop, you dont stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie da beat

Hi mom! Glad to hear how much scouting means to your son and his parents. I hope his Eagle dreams come true.

Welcome. I am not sure I followed all of this, but it sounds like the COR is attempting to bring an end to this troop. Forcing all of the boys to observe some dietary requirement of a religion that they do not observe sure does sound like a dumb idea that will not go over well with the boys or their parents. This COR sounds very dangerous to scouting. Would you mind sharing the specifics of the food requirement? - no meat on Fridays? no crustaceans? Have you gone to the Institutional Head of the CO to plead your case? Most clergy are very reasonable and have a broader concept of things than we sometimes give them credit. It may very well sit wrong with him/her too. I suppose a CO could restrict troop membership to only those of its particular faith, if it were so inclined. In such an instance, there is very little one could do, although changing the rules in mid-stream would mean significant departures. It is not clear why the meeting place CO is unable to establish a new troop that all of the boys could join. Are you just worried about losing your unit number (and history)? I think the boys are much more important than that.

Nice models.

bbng, The CORs of America will thank you, just as soon as their phones stop ringing

"This is not a matter of money or we would offer a scholarship - she is just a difficult parent." Punishing a ten year old boy because folks don't like his mom does not sound like a good thing to me. You say its not about money, so register him and give him his award at the AOL ceremoney in April. Kindness begets kindness. Someone always needs to make the first effort, why not you?

Yeah! It sure is nice to hear about your successful meeting. They only get easier after the first one. Now, try and figure out how to make the next meeting even better than the last.

WN, Yes, I am sure. In fact, there are several other popes that may have been Jewish as well, such as Evaristus (100-109), Zosimus (417-418) and Anacletus II (1130, an antipope). btw, Peter actually hooked up with Davy, Micky and Mike...I'm a Believer!

Uh...Peter was a Jewish Pope.

Welcome back. I think you'll find that scouting has changed very little over the past three decades and is still one of the best programs available to engage youth (and their dads and moms). Have fun with your son and den!

AA would never 'decline participation' for someone falling off the wagon. Rather, they would redouble their efforts in showering the wayward soul with even greater levels of love, care and concern. It is the least we can do for one another.

On this question, I think the BSA rules are clear as a church bell. It is unfortunate that a 15-year old who may be questioning his faith and belief in the eternal God, would be cast aside by an organization that professes to promote a belief in the same God. I am sure that God hasn't given up on this boy, why should the BSA? CA-Scouter, you have been given a tremendous opportunity to have deep, meaningful conversations with this young man (assuming his family approves) that may take both of you to new levels of understanding, maturity and a deeper relationship with God. Are you up for it? Or, do you just want to properly apply another BSA rule?

60% ?!?! Nothing like setting such high expectations. Doesn't that equate to a D- in school? I am glad it is just his thought and opinion, and not a component of the BSA advancement policies or a decision by the troop. Your CC sounds like the type that has difficulty with flexibility and needs bright line tests.

Well everything seemed to be coming together until the committee chair (?) took offense to your newsletter. He thinks you were jumping the gun, you think you were just being proactive and helpful. His response sounds juvenile. For two years he has wanted the DL gone and has built up a long list of violations, then he plans to have the COR do the firing. Based on what you have said, it sounds to me like the CC is scared of the DL lady and is using your newsletter as the excuse not to confront her with a 'firing'. I suspect the district and council types will not get involved in this den/pack squabble. Is there a possibility to transfer to another den? Is there another pack you can visit?

Don't forget advancement chair.

"Seeing my husband in his uniform makes me hot..." Does that hold true with the knee-high socks?

Sounds like you and your wife have a whole lot to talk about. Good luck.