Parents MB Counseling their own youth

[John-in-KC]

Friends,

 

National is silent.

 

Council and District do not have anything as a hard policy.

 

As a Committee Chairman (and as a Dad) I get uncomfortable when I hear that Mom or Dad (who is a qualified MB counselor for a particular merit badge) has asked the SM to take their own child through "whatever it is."

 

There is, almost automatically, a perception of a conflict of interest; this is really so when it's a one-on-one environment.

 

I have less conflict when Dad, who is a "insert craft/profession here" takes five or six kids through a particular MB. The youth will raise the baloney flag if there are multiple standards for completion.

 

I had less conflict when the SM asked me, a couple of years back, to counsel the Troop through Citizenship in the Nation. I took my own through the training, but I handed him off to another for the actual "discuss with your counselor" sessions.

 

What I want, please, is "Does your Troop or Crew have a written or unwritten policy in place on parents being the MB Counselor for their own youth?"

 

YIS

[Hunt]

No policy, written or unwritten, although it has been suggested to boys that they shouldn't do too many MBs with their own fathers. The reason I give is that it's better to work with other adults. I have also heard that the Eagle Board "won't like it," but that isn't really a good reason, because there's nothing the Eagle Board can do about it if the parent is a registered MBC.

[scoutingagain]

As advancement chair, MB counselor and DAD I basically take the same approach. I will act as counselor for my own son, only when the MB involves a small group of scouts, and whenever possible hand him off to another adult for the purposes of confirming requirements, as indicated, demonstrate, show, discuss, explain, etc.

 

The other counselors involved with the Troop with sons, accept this approach as well. I've never had a parent ask if they can act as a counselor for their own son. I have, on occasion, asked for documentation from a parent that their son has done a specific requirement, such as visit a government facitliy, or talk to a lawyer, visit an airport or some other activity the an individual scout has missed with a group and has had to make up on their own.

 

SA

[Vicki]

My understanding is that you won't find the BSA prohibiting dad/mom from being a MB counselor for their son. That said, our troop does have a policy prohibiting it. I'm working with my son on Personal Mgmt at the moment but he will go over all the verbal/written work and get his card signed off by a different counselor (as I did with this counselor's son).

 

I do think though, that as the only Cooking MB counselor, if we decide to take a group through that badge, I will be allowed to sign off on my son's card. But I'm not sure - the situation hasn't arisen yet. It will definitely be a Committee decision if it does come up. We take that policy very seriously.

 

Vicki

[Vicki]

My understanding is that you won't find the BSA prohibiting dad/mom from being a MB counselor for their son. That said, our troop does have a policy prohibiting it. I'm working with my son on Personal Mgmt at the moment but he will go over all the verbal/written work and get his card signed off by a different counselor (as I did with this counselor's son).

 

I do think though, that as the only Cooking MB counselor, if we decide to take a group through that badge, I will be allowed to sign off on my son's card. But I'm not sure - the situation hasn't arisen yet. It will definitely be a Committee decision if it does come up. We take that policy very seriously.

 

Vicki

[Bob White]

Before more myths are added to what has already been shared...

 

From page 13 Of the Advancement Committee Policies and Procedures manual #33088D (I believe the E series is now available, so the page # may differ)

 

"An approved merit badge counselor may counsel any youth member, including his or her own son, ward, or relative."

 

It also says just in case you were wondering

 

" There is no restriction on the number of merit badges a youth may earn from one counselor>"

 

National has no policy???

 

Good scouting begins with trained knowledgable leaders.

 

The BSA provides readily available resources to answer questions on specific topics, but as Mrs. Martin (my fourth grade teacher) used to say. "Books don't read themselves"

 

Myths and opinions do not determine the BSA scouting program. You can find the BSA program through BSA training courses, and the resources materials of the BSA.

 

Every Scout deserves a trained leader.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[FScouter]

"National is silent.

Council and District do not have anything as a hard policy."

 

The policy books would look like a set of encyclopedias if every possible Scouting scenario was written up as a prohibited/permitted policy.

 

The policies are written in the Advancement book, SM Handbook, and MB Counselor Orientation phamplet. What is not written are policies that don't exist. That is to say that if one looking for a prohibited practice and can find no written policy, then the practice is not prohibited.

 

Units that write their own policies prohibiting practices permitted by our national organization, or vice-versa, eventually run into problems. If challenged, those custom rules will not be supported.

 

If a merit badge counselor does not have the honesty and character to be impartial with all boys, he should not be a counselor. The problem is more in the selection process than in the lack of a policy.

 

[evmori]

Bob is correct. A mom or dad can counsel their son on all his merit badges provided they are approved MB counselors.

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[nldscout]

As a SM, if I had a choice of 2 MBC I would send a youth to MBC other than a youths parents. Only because part of MB work is exposure to adult's.

 

But if all I had was one MBC, I would use him/her without hesitation.

[Vicki]

Welcome back to the fray, BW!

 

Vicki

[torribug]

As Bob pointed out, National has no policy against it. Some folks may feel uncomfortable because there may be a conflict of interest. But why are we so suspicious of parents? The program is to help a boy become a leader, and if the parents cheat, their own son is hurt MUCH more than the scouting program is. Why should we think that parents may not have their son's best interest at heart? A scout is trustworthy.

 

I homeschool my son. We supplement some of our curriculum with merit badge work. I definitely prefer my son to go out and find a merit badge counselor other than me, for various reasons. He learns to initiate contact with somebody he doesn't know very well. He gets to know more adults as teachers. It takes a bit of the teaching load off of me - he's accountable to another person for a lesson or two, not just me.

 

There have been a few times when I've had to be the MB counselor because another counselor wasn't available for a merit badge he wants to work on OR I happen to be the the troop's merit badge counselor for the merit badge he wants to work on. Regardless of who the merit badge counselor is, my son puts together a portfolio of his work. He gives it to the merit badge counselor, then the two of them review his work. If I'm the counselor, he keeps hold of the portfolio in case there are people who believe the first part of the scout law only applies to them, and come around and question him (or me).

[OneHour]

In our troop, there is an unwritten rule. A scoutmaster or a counselor may not work with his/her own son on a one-on-one basis nor sign off requirements for his/her own son. If the mb or requirement is offered and being done in a group basis, then the scoutmaster or counselor can sign off for his/her own son mb, but he/she should defer the testing and signing off rank requirements to SPL, Instructor, or other scoutmasters for his/her own son.

 

1Hour

 

[anarchist]

hi ho toe stomping time!

 

Don't have much of a problem with Mom or Dad signing off personally, but we just prefer the boy look else where...Our troop has a list of District M-B Councilors. When a boy says "I want to do 'nuclear nose twanging"... we provide him with a list of who is available outside the troop first. I seems to us that part of the program is interacting with non- familiar adults ('non-familiar'-rather than strange?) Having good ol' Dad or even the neat Assistant scout master incharge of local nose twanging seems to be just short circuiting the process.

 

As a troop we do not do Merit Badge classes in our meetings we have bigger fish to fry getting ready for activities and doing scout stuff.

[John-in-KC]

Thanks to all. Lots of input really fast!!!

 

Special thanks to BW for the comments that I frankly had not found in the manuals. I'm glad someone reads even deeper than I do.

 

I like Vicki's and Scoutingagains approaches: Let the SM assign someone other than the parent, if there are other Counselors readily available (and indeed there are).

 

On a personal level, I frankly prefer that youth get broader exposure and better adult association by going out-of-family and even out-of-troop for MBs.

 

Thanks for the input. You, collectively, gave me a benchmark.

 

 

 

 

[EagleInKY]

"In our troop, there is an unwritten rule." If the rule goes against national's policy, is it a valid rule? And, if it's unwritten, is it really a rule? Is it worth the paper it's not written on?

 

Anyway, we don't have a policy around this. We encourage boys to seek adults other than their parents for MBCs. But, being in a small troop in a district that doesn't publish a MBC list, we're on our own to find counselors. We have a list of parents willing to counsel a variety of MBs. If a boy wants to work on a MB where there is not a counselor, he is responsible for finding one. (We'll help, if we can).

 

One thing we're doing this year is working to educate parents about the MB process. Hopefully, if the parents understand the rules, we'll have less problems with the parents pushing them the wrong direction.

 

For example, we have a scout that is going to miss Summer Camp. Mom calls me a couple of weeks ago. She asks a question about the scout shop. I - being curious as I am - ask her what she was doing. "Oh, I'm buying the MB books for the badges he was going to take at camp. I'm hoping we can work on them and he can complete them by summer". I explained to her that this was not how the process worked. But it points to the fact that parents will sometimes try to drive the boys the wrong direction just out of interest in the boy's success. It's not that she was deliberatly breaking some rules. She didn't understand the process. Her son and husband both knew the process, however, and weren't going to stop her.