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RandyPrice

Scouting Divorces

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Oh heck yeah. I've known too many folks getting divorces and the reason was Scouting.

 

Heck my wife threatened to divorce after 2 months of marriage b/c of my job as a pro.

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First hand knowledge of three.

 

1. Wife claimed abandonment

 

2. Wife out clubbing went hubby was out with troop. Met new man

 

3. Wife hooked up with old flame on facebook and spent the weekends when dad was with the troop to spend it with him.

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Yah, it happens.

 

It is a real sadness.

 

It's hard to have that sort of conversation with a fellow. Or a lady. Lots of times they seem themselves doin' more good in Scouting than at work or at home. But I've pulled scouters aside occasionally and told 'em that they wouldn't go out on a hike leavin' camp a mess and untended. Sometimes yeh need to tend da homefront.

 

Marriage is a lifelong courtship, eh? Yeh have to keep it up. Love needs to grow and be renewed.

 

Perhaps da Catholics are right; if you're really called to service that takes a large chunk of your time, it's better to be celibate. ;)

 

Nah.

 

Beavah

 

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Unfortunately, I've seen two instances of scouters leaving their spouse for another scouter in the unit/district. In one instance it was really tough on the unit because the innocent spouse was also involved in the unit & the liason caused a rift. Other parents took sides with one party or another. It was not pretty.

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I have seen Scouters load up their calendars with scouting activities to keep them away from home as much as possible. It's a socially acceptable way to avoid addressing the real problems.

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Our Key Three had to deal with a real bad Troop scandal when the scouts found out that the SM (female) and ASM (male) were sneaking around behind their spouses, or scout's parents, for several months. It was a huge mess for the troop.

 

Barry

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We had a man and a woman attend Wood Badge. After the course, they each got divorced and then married each other. It raised eyebrows.

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Actually, I have one scouter credit me with a save.

 

I got in a discussion and realized I was quickly being dragged in way over my head. It's rare that I cry uncle and back out of trying to "help" fix things, but I had been having a bad run of luck with my advice of late, so I had the presence of mind to ask "Who do you and your spouse both trust do go talk to about this?" We agreed that that 3rd party was the best option, and I extracted a promise that the one partner would talk to the other about contacting him for counseling ASAP. I said a quick prayer and ran.

 

The next day, that fella approached me and asked my opinion (in advance if meeting with them) about how much of this was scouting related vs. other marital stuff. I forget what percentage I told him (I was embarrassed to be having the discussion at all), but it was high, and he wasn't surprised. He just said, "Well, it's time to get my money's worth out of that minor in counseling!"

 

Don't know what transpired after that (aside from a thank you years later), but the lovely couple remain happily married -- to each other a lot and scouting a little. That's a good thing.

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When it happened, the couple had 1 kid in the troop, 1 in the pack, and 1 in the GS Troop at our church.

 

It's been really tricky trying to be diplomatic about it.

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Yep, seen it several times. Twice with SM's wearing too many hats at the district and council level, once with volunteers who spent a little too much time together away from their spouses.

 

If i were a CC, the latter two would have been asked to leave their registered position, since it was common knowledge inside the troop committee.

 

Can't do much about the district and council guys. But I also don't do much with them.

 

Easy to spin this as a membership policy example, but if you weed out the folks who can't play by the rules, you can still be consistent in what the policy aims to do.

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Former SM and former CC of a troop, got divorced and made a swap. SM & CC married and their former spouses married, too. Both had kids in the troop (must've been mighty confusing for them!). They all left the troop in a bit of an uproar.

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