Nasty e-mail from Scout parent

[AlamanceScouter 10]

Just received my first nasty e-mail from the parent of a boy in the Cub Scout den I lead. She had not been receiving e-mail updates and was pretty irritated about it. Somehow I had left her all my distribution list. Until recently she was getting Pack updates from our Pack Secretary and I guess didn't realize that I send out my own updates.

 

I can understand being irritated....especially since she made a trip to a meeting last week that had been canceled...but couldn't she just respectfully inquire about why she wasn't getting information recently? I think that is what I would have done.

[Scoutfish 16]

WOO HOO .......CONGRATULATIONS! LOL!

 

 

I'd print and frame that E-mail. Then when you happen to be having one of those days where you wonder in you are doing the right thing...Look at that e-mail and realize that some people take personal offense even if it's not warranted. Sometimes, no mater what, people think it's your fault!

 

 

At the end of last winter/ start of this spring, I was asked by the CM to hand out prizes and recognize high achieving popcorn sellers . It was a last minute thing because the CM suddenly had work obligations pop up.

 

5 mins before the pack meeting, a mom asked me if I was in charge of popcorn. I told her :"NO, I'm just filling in to give the boys recognition and hand out prizes...other than that, I have nothing to do with popcorn."

 

She then asked if her son was getting a prize since he sold over $500.00 worth of popcorn.....but hadn't turn in the money yet...even though it was due almost 2 months ago..

 

I said "He's not on my list. I'm no expert, but I believe he probably should have turned in the money first and turned it in almost 2 months ago when it was due."

 

This mom cussed me out, and stomped off cussing under her breath about me,the pack, the CM and ACM too.

 

Ever since we asked her where the money is ( we stil haven't recieved) she and her son haven't been back.

 

Apparently...It's all MY fault!

[John-in-KC 311]

Sometimes we adults need the Scout Oath and Law worse than our youth members

[Horizon 97]

I always try to remember that no matter WHAT you do, you will make 5% of the people mad at you.

 

 

[frank10 12]

It's the online electronic version of Road Rage... But worse. First folks are willing to go a bit farther in an email than they would in person and then anything looks harsher when written rather than spoken. Top that off with the fact that the person doing the writing can't see your face to see how it is affecting you.

 

Chances are this person didn't intend to be half as harsh as they came across. Wait to see them in person to deal with them, you may find they aren't so bad after all.

[desertrat77 1144]

Alamance, sorry you've got to endure such grief, but someone once told me that leadership is indeed a "contact sport." You can score five touchdowns and have a perfect quarterback rating, but you'll still leave the field with bruises and cuts, from legal hits and cheap shots. It's galling to get such responses from adults, but it's all worth it in the long run. Best wishes.

[Beavah 205]

Yah, what everybody else said

 

Irate parents yelling at volunteers is a feature of the modern world. If we're honest, I even remember it being an occasional feature of the ancient world .

 

It's like camping in the rain, or da nights when a storm blows through and flattens a tent or two. Not much fun when it's happening, a story to share afterward, but generally it's da cost of going camping. Only way to avoid getting rained on is to never go outside.

 

Welcome to full membership in da ranks of adult leaders!

 

Beavah

 

[AlamanceScouter 10]

Thanks all....I appreciate the kind words. I am not perfect so I am sure I get some more of this kind of stuff in the future. Watching the boys grow and have fun at the same time makes it all worthwhile.

[OneHour 11]

Alamance Scouter, it sounds like you have yourself a volunteer for the Pack Committee! Now, she gets straight from the horses' mouth and she would know exactly when and where the meeting is! If she complains about your leadership, you have just gotten yourself an assistant den leader!

 

I have been fairly successful in getting volunteers or parents to butt out this way!

 

Good luck!

 

btw ... it is really neat to see them from tigers to eagles. I had the honor this past weekend to mc three of my scouts Eagle Court of Honor. I was their cubmaster when they were tigers and now I am their scoutmaster when they become eagles! Really neat to see them grow from brash, young cubs to oustanding young men!

(This message has been edited by OneHour)

[Stosh 3452]

Don't run through the wheat field granny, you're going against the grain!

 

 

Stosh

[Frank17 10]

I had a similar experience with one of our new scout parents. When she complained about not being informed about troop events, I told her we use email to communicate to our 70+ scouts and parents. She told me should could not get email at her workplace as she was a government employee and that verizon internet did not work at her house. SHE REQUESTED I CALL HER AFTER EVERY MEETING TO UPDATE HER ON THE TROOP EVENTS COMING UP. After I swallowed my impulse to tell her to get more lithium in her diet, I gave her the following options:

1. Get email to work at her house or go to the public library to get her email

2. Attend the weekly meetings as a parent observer and take notes

3. Rely on her 11 year old to take noted for her (not recommended)

 

Since then, she has been attending every meeting and taking notes, although constantly making additional requests of our commmitte memebers to make things more convenient for her. I have told them to treat her like every other parent and make no special allowances - seems to be working as she has backed down on her special requests.

 

The punchline is that the scout is a clear anomaly: much more self sufficient and patient than his own parent. He is a great kid. If I only had to teach the scouts the scout oath and law, my life would be much simpler.

 

[shortridge 184]

< whoosh whoosh whoosh > Helicopter parent alert...

 

While this wouldn't have worked in the OP's post about Cubs, IMHO, Frank17's 11-year-old is certainly responsible enough to take notes about upcoming events, deadlines, costs, dates, etc. He certainly has to take notes in school and keep track of homework and upcoming assignments and projects, doesn't he? That's not an unreasonable thing to suggest, and would certainly make both of your lives much easier.

 

 

I would observe that some people just don't have access to e-mail, because of cost or geography (rural areas can't get high-speed Net); others may not be computer-literate enough to use it, and might be embarrassed to admit it.

[qwazse 4346]

E-mail is not the perfect solution. But it definitely helps. Here's my suggestions:

1.a. Make sure the responsibility of tracking E-mails goes to the unit secretary. Sometimes that's a little tough because the best recorder doesn't always have the best tech skills, but if you can find a him/her a buddy to help with "best practices" then oversights will drop.

1.b. List-servers are helpful (groups.google.com is my favorite). The neat thing about these is that if someone misses a message, there's usually a web page that someone can go to to retrieve old posts. If your unit maintains a website they might offer something of the sort. (The downside -- esp. with venturers -- is that some folks only do Facebook/Yahoo/Twitter/Whatever and the'll throw up attitude when asked to create one more account.)

2. Make sure parents who don't get E-mail are partnered with adults who do.

3. Be very, very patient.

[DeanRx 69]

I go back to the FIRST thing our district trainer told us in our CM breakout session for CM specific traning.

 

"your job 99% of the time is to BE A DUCK"

 

Provide the program to the boys and let the rest run off your back. A simple, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you weren't getting the e-mails, can I verify your address and I'll add you first thing when I get home tonight" - then move on with life.

[Mr Irish 10]

Ask her to fill out the official BSA complaint form found here http://www.scouting.org/filestore/pdf/28-501.pdf

Irish