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mrkstvns

Protecting kids from pervasive porn

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In 1988, Tipper Gore made waves when she published her book, "Raising PG Kids in an X-Rated Society".  Her argument was that with porn and violence and bad role models increasingly easy to come by, that parents needed to remain ever more vigilant and that government should help families in their struggle to raise decent kids.

I can only imagine what Tipper thinks of today's society where kids can get access to porn on any smart phone.  Few sites require more than a mouse click on an "I am over 18" button in order to download images and videos that would have been scandalous just a few short years ago. 

"Psychology Today" recently ran an article discussing this problem and its impact on parenting today.  How CAN a parent place reasonable controls on what a child can and cannot access?  Is it even possible today to keep porn out of the hands of kids?  What should parents do?

Here's the article:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/talking-apes/201912/adolescence-in-the-age-internet-porn

BTW:  Anybody else recognize themselves in the story about discovering nuggets of porn treasure in a Boy Scout paper drive??  Oh, for the innocence of the 1970s...

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Wow, that is a very interesting article. 

I have a question, However, in the last paragraph, the author states we can do ""We do our children a great disservice when we send them negative messages about their emerging sexuality. Instead, we need to guide them into healthy patterns of sexual behavior that will serve them for the rest of their lives."

What are the negative messages? Healthy patterns of sexual behavior? If religious youth are less likely to indulge in porn, what are their patterns?

Seems like the article created more questions than information given. 

Barry

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2 hours ago, Eagledad said:

Wow, that is a very interesting article. 

I have a question, However, in the last paragraph, the author states we can do ""We do our children a great disservice when we send them negative messages about their emerging sexuality. Instead, we need to guide them into healthy patterns of sexual behavior that will serve them for the rest of their lives."

What are the negative messages? Healthy patterns of sexual behavior? If religious youth are less likely to indulge in porn, what are their patterns?

Seems like the article created more questions than information given. 

Barry

By its very nature, anything that is "porn" is generally lumped into that category of "negative messages", especially since we're told that it's bad because it objectifies women. Porn is usually about instant gratification. I suppose the "healthy patterns" would be the traditional, family-focused marriage in which we're talking only about a lifelong, loving commitment between a man and a woman.  Of course, the LGBTQERILX community will argue that point too, so I doubt we'll ever find common ground in defining "negative" vs. "positive".

What is a parent supposed to do?

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20 minutes ago, mrkstvns said:

By its very nature, anything that is "porn" is generally lumped into that category of "negative messages", especially since we're told that it's bad because it objectifies women. Porn is usually about instant gratification. I suppose the "healthy patterns" would be the traditional, family-focused marriage in which we're talking only about a lifelong, loving commitment between a man and a woman.  Of course, the LGBTQERILX community will argue that point too, so I doubt we'll ever find common ground in defining "negative" vs. "positive".

What is a parent supposed to do?

Indeed. Religion, especially Christianity, is being so demonized as hate that even an open discussion of understanding how it positively helps youth resist porn might not be tolerated. 

Barry

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Not a 100% solution but there are a number of tools parents can use to monitor internet usage, both in the home and on personal devices like smart phones. We use Disney's Circle in the home to both limit the amount of time online and to restrict access to various sites. While it limits wi-fi access, it does not limit data access (but we can see that too).

Doesn't keep them from accessing inappropriate sites or content when not at home but that was a problem long before the advent of the internet.

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Disney Circle may drag your wireless network -- and that of others. I had a freind whose mobile was being recognized as the router gateway while he was at work. All traffic was being routed through his phone.

The harsh truth is we need to battle-harden our kids. Tell them that they ought notta gawk at someone else's spouse. Tell them that some things can't be unseen. But tell them it's worth fighting tooth and nail to stay out of the swamp that's tempting you and climb out of the one your in.

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In the end, parents still need to provide adequate supervision, oversight, and accountability of their children. It matters not whether it is an agricultural, industrial, or digital world. The raising of kids is hard, it is a continuous test of choices, responsibility and accountability to earn new freedoms and responsibilities. Sure computers add a different dimension, so did tv, telephones and car keys. Giving kids age-appropriate responsibility and holding them accountable (meaning taking away freedoms and responsibility when they demonstrate their unreadiness) then giving them another chance in the future. Over time they get more and more freedom and responsibility (as they demonstrate they are ready) is how kids transition to adulthood. This of course is the ideal, and often doesn't happen. 

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On 12/16/2019 at 10:48 AM, Eagledad said:

I have a question, However, in the last paragraph, the author states we can do ""We do our children a great disservice when we send them negative messages about their emerging sexuality. Instead, we need to guide them into healthy patterns of sexual behavior that will serve them for the rest of their lives."

What are the negative messages? Healthy patterns of sexual behavior? If religious youth are less likely to indulge in porn, what are their patterns?

Yes.  We need to give our kids positive messages about their emerging sexuality, but that doesn't need to include sexual behavior.  The author sounds like he thinks the two things are intertwined.  They aren't.  

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