concernedparent 10 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 I'm not sure what BSA's standing is on this but I am wondering what your opinions are about having a gay individual (who has now aged out of the Troop) attend scouting events including overnighters? We are in a situation where the Scoutmaster's son has announced that he is gay. He aged out a few months ago but continues to go to scouting events including an overnighter that just occurred (at which, from what I understand, he brought his boyfriend)... The boy is a good kid and I personally have no problems with this but I heard that some of the parents that attended the overnighter were a little concerned about this but no one brought it to the attention of the Scoutmaster... (Since this is a touchy subject I don't think anyone wants to really approach him about it..) Link to post Share on other sites
BS-87 30 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Is he a registered leader with the Troop? The answer to this question doesn't matter I would say the same logic that the BSA uses to exclude homosexuals from leadership is the same logic that would dictate that this practice of bringing a boyfriend along cannot be tolerated. On another note, it shouldn't be tolerated if a young man is bringing his girlfriend along either. Link to post Share on other sites
moosetracker 132 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 per National rules - he could not register a an adult leader.. Everything else is open to what your unit (or really the CO) is comfortable with.. Some units will welcome them as if they were registered, but know they can not register them.. Others will not welcome them or their children. If you do not welcome him anymore, then the discussion is over.. But if your unit wants to treat him fairly, then the question would be do you have other rules you enforce with straight couples, you are not enforcing with them due to the uncomfortable situation.. Then you should address it.. If you do not condone overt lovey dovy affection of heterosexual couples then same should be the expectations of a homosexual couple.. If an unmarried straight couple can not sleep in the same tent, neither the homosexual couple.. All up to your Unit and/or CO... Link to post Share on other sites
concernedparent 10 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 ahh.. interesting.. our sponsoring unit is associated with the Catholic Church.. Link to post Share on other sites
SMT224 10 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 First, why is he on an overnight Troop event? Unless he's a registered Scouter with the Troop he should not be there, even if he's family. Second, he brought his boyfriend? No, absolutely not! As BS-87 said, it doesn't matter if it's a boy friend or girl friend -- this is not to occur on a Troop camping trip. Sounds like the Scoutmaster is blurring a Troop event with a family camping trip. If his son wants to go camping with his boy friend, they can do it on their own. A Scout camping trip is not for that kind of thing. Parents need to let the Scoutmaster know that if his son and his boy friend are on the trip, their sons will not be. Link to post Share on other sites
concernedparent 10 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 Well this bring up a whole new situation.. The COR is the SM's father.. SM doesn't want his father to know because he will more than likely not speak to his (SM's) son again... Link to post Share on other sites
SeattlePioneer 144 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Interesting question. At a minimum, they should be sleeping in separate tents. Beyond that, I don't know of any BSA rule that would prevent them from participating in a camping trip. Why they would be invited to participate in a Troop camping trip is a better question. Were they perhaps putting on a 1st Aid program for the troop on the camping trip? Why were they there? Link to post Share on other sites
concernedparent 10 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 ..he was there because he's the SM's son and goes to other events to help his father.. although I've heard that at the last "Makahiki" event he was put in charge of everything in the morning and then in the afternoon he was yelled at by his father for a very long time... (yes, within hearing range...) Sorry - didn't clarify this earlier - this wasn't a camping trip. it was an overnighter at a local university campus where they did security for the Special Olympics event. But some of the boys can't stay up all night so they do go to sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
moosetracker 132 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Well, that is an impossible secret to keep!.. You can't keep a secret from you Grandfather, by openly sash-a-ing your boyfriend around his place of work.. If complaints are made, the COR will hear of them.. Evan if someone complains to council and he gets the trickle down effect. SMT224 - Different units have different rules. You must have two registered leaders, but many units allow unregistered parents to go, or unregistered boys who have recently aged out.. This is a more looser laid-back BS troop organization.. But it is definately out there. But, I do believe it is National police about unmarried couples not tenting together, youth or adult leaders. Then there is just an overall BSA understanding that hererosexual nor homosexual relationships have no buisness on in a BSA activity.. If your unit should tighten the rules for all concerned.. If the COR is thought to disown the Grandson when he finds out about his sexual orientation, I guess that may be your answer as to how the CO is going to react to him being at BSA events. Link to post Share on other sites
fred8033 1593 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 This is why one family should never do everything. Doesn't matter if COR is the SM's dad. He's the one who needs to know. COR is the one who's supposed to make sure the SM is doing a good job. SM is also a representative of the COR. Link to post Share on other sites
SMT224 10 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 My son got his Eagle in our Troop in 2006. He is now an ASM. He goes on 2-3 camping trips a year and to summer camp. But he does not bring his girl friend! I would not want him coming just as my son or an aged out Eagle from the Troop - he is registered as an adult leader for a reason. Not only is it the right thing to do, but as an ASM he can work with Scouts on advancement and be there as part of the Troop. Maybe it's just our Troop culture, but once a Scout ages out, if he wants to do things with the Troop, we make sure he's a registered leader. Clearly this cannot happened with the issue raised in the OP. In which case, I don't think he needs to come on Troop camping trips. -- especially with his boy friend! Link to post Share on other sites
NJCubScouter 1389 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 I was sort of debating with myself about whether I wanted to comment on this at all, then I read concernedparent's second post in which he said: The COR is the SM's father.. SM doesn't want his father to know because he will more than likely not speak to his (SM's) son again... So are you saying that the COR does not know his grandson is gay, and the SM (son of COR and father of openly gay former Scout) does not want him to know? One thing you don't want to do is to allow this family's "issues" to become the troop's "issues." Just the fact that the SM is the COR's son would be something I would want to avoid... and the situation you have presented is one of the reasons why. As for who goes on campouts... although my troop is somewhat less strict about this than I would be, I prefer that anyone going on camping trips be there for a reason that benefits the troop. Registered leaders automatically qualify. A parent of a Scout who is on the trip is ok with me, but if the parent has reached his/her second or third camping trip I would like to see him/her be registered. Same goes for former Scouts in the troop. Unregistered significant others of an unregistered person? No. So those little rules (which aren't necessarily National's rules) would resolve your issue, and notice that I have not said a word (at least in this paragraph) about the orientation of those involved. Link to post Share on other sites
concernedparent 10 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 NJCubScouter Yep - the COR does not know his grandson is gay... and the SM was told by Council to inform the CC and the COR.. I just got off the phone with my DE and he said yep - this is definitely a troop "issues" now.. Thanks for that suggestion! If a new troop is started I'll definitely suggest that we include this in the new troops policies... that would get more parents involved as well! Link to post Share on other sites
Fehler 118 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 SO, he can't register under the "adult rules". But it sounds like he (and perhaps his partner) could register with a Venturing crew. They're under the "youth rules" until 21, right? Link to post Share on other sites
concernedparent 10 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 Fehler hmm.. I don't think he can because he has openly come out... and I think that coming out on FB is pretty much open..? or can they still register? At any rate as you can tell there are major problems with the SM so some of the current ASMs (one of them is the Crew Advisor) may jump ship soon and create our own Pack, Troop and Crew.. (oh - and yes - it does affect the pack because I (Cubmaster of the pack) have been accused of COLLUSION since the boys did not go over to the troop, as they decided another troop was a better fit for them.. Link to post Share on other sites
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