It's not fun, anymore.

[jmcquillan]

For as long as I've been with the troop, and for all the years since my own sons graduated out and went on to college, marraige, etc., folks in the troop would always ask me why I stayed, and what drove me to stick with it. My standard response was that it was fun. Scouting, and all that goes with it, was fun for me. The time it took to do the job was never something begrudging to me. I spent the time simply because it was fun. Lots of fun. And I always told people, when asked, that I would stay with it as long as it was fun.

 

Comes a time when one has to begin questioning that adage. Over the past few years, I've been witness to and confronted by, the participation by more and more adults who know it all, but partake not in training of any sort. No kind of enticement can get them to volunteer on more of a regular basis. No amount of reasoning can get them to go to training and gain the simple knowledge of what the Scouting program is, and is not. They're parents. They have sons. They know how to raise their children, and Scouting should be a lead pipe cinch. They go about what they think the Scouting business should be without regard for, or benefit of, a true understanding and appreciation for the program as laid out in black and white by the BSA...and common sense.

 

Now, comes the time when I have reached a decision. I find it's not fun anymore. The constant butting of heads with those who know not, but trudge ahead anyway, has taken its toll. I understand now why attending troop committee meetings and regular troop meetings is something I dread, not look forward to. I can't fight it any longer. And the notion that I've hinted at, that I might not be able to stay as Scoutmaster any longer under the current conditions, seems not to make a difference. The common rebuttal is akin to...ho hum.

 

Thus, the decision is cast. After 20 some odd years of doing this, I'm set to retire, and allow the troop to follow the trail that the present "untrained" volunteers have laid out for it. I will give them my best wishes, and hopes for the future. I'll remain on the roster as a general committee member, if they so choose, but I doubt that will be the case.

 

I've been asked, by those I've confided in, to remain as a visible and active participant on the district and council staffs where I might be of value. And I've agreed to do that. But I know it won't be the same. I'll miss the kids. They....were the joy in the job.

 

This probably seems extreme, but the circumstances are such that continuation with this troop is not a viable option. I would only feel in the way of those who choose to go elsewhere, blindly in my view, but nonetheless, elsewhere. Adn this is not my ego speaking, for in Scouting I have none. I'm only one guy who gave some time to help some boys along the way. And I enjoyed every minute along the way...until now.

 

How comes it to pass that we end up like this? Is my experience unique? I know there are those who stay as long as their sons do, then they're hard to find. There seems to be few in our area who have stayed as long, yet there some. Perhaps I didn't do something right along the way, and lost the power to instill the message to the parent corps. Or, perhaps the parent corps just decided that they know what to do, and don't need anyone to tell them.

 

 

[EagleWB]

jmcquillan, try and find a different Troop in your area. You are too valuable to get out completely. After 20 years in your district you must have some friends that could use your help. I too have done this for 23 yrs. and always said when it's not fun anymore I would be gone. I have been with my Troop for 15 years, but because no one wants to help, it has become no fun for me also. I am currently looking at some other Troops in my area. I believe the parents today just don't want to take the time to do it right. They don't understand the "patrol method" and don't want to. These boys are missing so much. I hope you find a way to put the fun back in your scouting.

[eisely]

jmcquillan,

 

Whatever you do, I hope we will continue to see you in these pages.

 

I have a somewhat different take on this general issue. Lack of sufficient parental support is a problem, not just in scouts, but in all kinds of youth activities highly dependent upon volunteers. One always finds a few highly dedicated volunteers who hang in there for years, and every organization needs some of these. Unfortunately, this also spoils other people who come to expect and rely upon such dedication. This can create different problems. I can think of two powerhouse troops in our district that are blessed with very competent, very active, and very senior scoutmasters, neither of which seem to have any succession plan in mind. I really think it is sometimes healthier for a troop to have turnover in scoutmasters every few years, rather than have the same guy do it year in and year out, as good as that person may be. This should not be construed as any kind of criticism. Nevertheless, an organization that is used to looking ahead for the next generation of leadership will have fewer problems identifying and recruiting that leadership.

 

Even functioning at a district level, one can still go on outings and work directly with youth in different ways. But if a particular role or responsibility truly isn't fun any more, it is time to pass the baton to some one else and find a way to contribute that is still fun.

[jmcquillan]

Thanks folks. I'm not leaving here, that's for sure. I love the discussion, problem solving, and sharing of information and experience here. Thus, you'll see my posts regularly.

 

EagleWB, yes, I am searching for another troop. I have many, many friends in the eastern part of the state here, and it shouldn't be hrad to find a place to fit in...but not as SM. I'd rather pick one or two small areas of expertise and use my energy there. On the district and council level, adult leader training has always been fun for me...Fundamentals, Woodbadge...I'll find a place.

 

eisely, you're absolutely correct in your observations. The trend today (perhaps it's always been this way) is for all the work to be done by a few in a core group. The rest become all too comfortable with that situation. I've seen it in the youth sports I've been involved with, same for school functions, scouts, and even Lions. The same faces all the time. I've been helping to run a fund raiser at the high school my sons went to years ago, and have been doing it for probably 11 years. Still, same faces most of the time. I can't, for a moment, fathom why folks hold volunteering at bay, especially when it's for the benefit of their own kids. In sports, special skills and knowledge might be the determining factor. But in Scouts? None is required. All that is needed is a desire to help, and a touch of enthusiasm. (Put both in a bowl and mix well.) But rather than fight that reality, I'll just put my efforts where I know they are needed, and wanted.

 

And, I accept your thoughts on changing of the guard periodically. It makes good sense, especially having seen the many sides of not doing so sooner.

[OldGreyEagle]

Many times the reason a core group of individuals HAS to hold things together is because by their own non-intentional actions they exclude new comers. New people may want to be invovled, but the same people do the same things year after year and effectively shut out new people. Often this occurs without the veterans realizing it. The the veterans aer upset no one new will help and the potential new blod is upset there is no way to crack into the leadership herd.

Every new group of scouts has some parents who want to be involved, seek them out, assign them duties, small at first and then increase. This way the new faces ease the burden on all and assimilation occurs almost painlessly

[jmcquillan]

OGE,

 

Your observations are something that the "core" group came to understand about 8-10 years ago. And the group probably was, at that time, guilty of missing that point altogether. Once the stark realization that we might inadvertently be exlcuding new folks without realizing it, we set about to change the path we travelled.

 

We made sure every door was opened. We made sure that any appearance of the core group being one that couldn't be broken into was gone. We even started a schedule amongst ourselves of "not being available" every once in a while to make certain positions open and uncovered for short periods, then longer periods, all the time attempting to recruit adults to cover these positions. But the results seemed always to be the same. Either the adults were far too busy to participate in this part of their sons life, or, when they did agree to participate, they would avoid getting any type of training, sometimes with the most remarkable excuses. They depended 100% on their parental experience and knowledge to set the trail, and knew little of the program. The frequent remark that I heard was..."That's not how we do it in my house." Planning and scheduling in the troop seemed to be moving away from what I, and others in the original "core" group, had come to know and understand as "Scouting" events and trips. There was an aversion to training at the adult level that began to follow to the Scouts level. (Monkey see...monkey do.) And discipline began to head south in a big way, on two fronts. The Scouts began to show signs of a lack of respect for adult leaders, and the adults showed the same for the kids. Discipline became far too heave handed for me. It became quite militaristic in some quarters. And some of the adults outwardly, among themselves, joked around about being the adult most despised by the Scouts this week..like it was a joke or a badge of honor.

 

My absence is not something that makes a whole lot of difference to this lot of adults who think they know all. And I watch from the sidelines, with others I've been with for many years building the troop up, as it slowly sinks into oblivion. This was truly a situation where the tide turned, and the few of us who had been around for many years, and understood what we had been trained to do, found ourselves drowning in a sea of contraversy and questionable direction from those who wanted to be involved, but only to do it their way, not the BSA way.

 

I should note that since my departure, most of the remaining core group has seen fit to follow. But in each case, the goodbye was more a door closing that spoke of good-riddence from those now on the inside.

 

We wish them well, though, if only for the sake of the Scouts, and the program.

[OldGreyEagle]

Well Jm. to paraphrase a philosopher's statement, "The boys get the Scouting experience their parents deserve".

 

I wish your old troop well and I wish you well in all your endeavors, especially Scouting.

 

Somehow though, I think your old trrop will need more wishes than you will...

 

[Chippewa29]

After reading this thread, I can definitely relate the idea of a "core" group keeping too much control. First of all, when I was a young Scout, there was a core of about four of us that kept trading the leadership positions back and forth, thus keeping any younger Scouts from getting real leadership experience. After a couple of years, the other Scouts in the core moved on and I had become incredibly active in the OA. I stepped back to let someone else take charge, and there wasn't anyone. It took a couple of years for our troop to recover from that.

 

More recently, our previous SM was someone who had a reputation for having the attitude of "if you want something done right, do it yourself". He took over a tremendous amount of responsibility in his first couple of years in the troop and pushed out a few people because he didn't like how they did things (they didn't do them wrong, just not how he wanted it done) and over the next several years, we had no one new take on any position of importance within the troop. Fortunately, we did have an ASM that worked very well with him. A couple of years ago, our SM realized how burnt out he was and changed his tune. He started letting go of some of the control of the troop and allowing me to start inserting some of my ideas. However, we still didn't have new parents taken on a large role. Our previous SM did a lot of good things for the kids that served under him, but he did nothing to inspire people to help. Since I took over as SM, our parent participation has risen dramatically, although I am still looking for someone to step up and act as an ASM.

 

We also have a troop that started in our area about two years ago. When we heard they were forming, we called the SM there and offered to have him just merge his troop in with ours. He could be the SM and run things the way he wanted. Our troops resources complemented each other very well, so we thought it would be a good match. The other SM said no because he wanted the troop to be "his" and wanted to create their own history. Nine months later, he quit because he was burnt out and the parents in the troop were tired of his "my way or the highway" attitude. An ASM took over and once again, we offered for them to merge in with us, giving them free reign to develop the program as they saw fit while having three solid ASM's and a great troop committee at his disposal. Once again, he rejected us and nine months later, he quit in frustration. That troop is still in disarray. I wish them success, but with their short and troubled history, they may not be around long.

[evmori]

jmcquillan,

There have been a few Scoutmasters in my district who have quit for the same reason. I must be one of the lucky ones. The parents in my Troop want to help & are willing to learn the BSA way. From your post, you Troop is the one loosing. Good Scoutmasters are hard to find, especially ones with your experience. My son, too, is long gone from Scouting (he is an ASM in my Troop but currently in college) and I still love working with the boys. That's why I am still here! Plus, I love camping.

 

Maybe you could get involved in a JLT program!

 

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

[jmcquillan]

Ed,

 

Since September, I've remained on the committee roster, and attended all the meetings. And, since September, folks on the committee have continued to ask my opinion and advice. Then, they pretty much go their own way, ignoring anything I might add. They're a pretty head-strong group. They've set their direction, and their muddling through. When I left, the troop was about 74 Scouts. It's now 35. Most of the older kids left when it became apparent that discipline would be military style. The current leadership is unbending and unyielding, without concern for the "message" that is being given to the Scouts. No margin for error. No allowance for "just being kids". And that disturbs me greatly. Even more mind-boggling are the phone calls I get outside of meetings, asking for advice or opinion on how the troop is being lead, and where the committee and leadership are going. Seems many of the adults, leaders or not, have concern about the direction. But none, as yet, have what it might take to step up to the plate and seek to change the direction, and make it fun for the kids again. Only time will change that.

 

As for me, I've pretty much made the decision to stay with adult leader training. That, I think, is the place where I can try be of best assistance.

[BubbaBear]

I want to thank you experienced SM's for this thread. I am rather new (seven years) at the job and get frustrated pretty easily. Frankly, I don't know how you hang in there, but make no mistake...YOU are an inspiration to me. Several years ago, I chose to take on my own "Scoutmaster", I asked him to be my mentor and he graciously accepted. He is also serving as my couselor for the Doctorate Degree of Scouting Arts (here in SW Florida). With the many mistakes I make, I turn to him frequently for answers. He frequently responds by saying:

 

NEVER FORGET THESE FOUR POINTS ABOUT SCOUTING:

1. The YOUTH are the reason for Scouting. They own

the movement.

2. Anything that supports #1 is Good.

3. Anything that diminishes #1 is Bad.

4. In cases of confusion, consult #1.

 

I am still learning. Hopefully, by the time I have helped the Boys for twenty years or more, I will have it right. In the meantime, I do battle with apathy also!

God Bless my Scoutmaster (REDDOG Maynard), and God Bless you guys (and gals) for your perseverence.

Here is what I can offer you...the slogan of the Army Corps of Engineers...ESSAYONS. It means "Keep on Striving".

 

[shemgren]

jmcquillian

 

I can relate. I have been in Scouting for over 30 years, a SM for 5 of those years and I found a new lease in Scouting in the Commissioner staff.

 

I have the role of training, Cub Scout Leaders, Boy Scout Leaders and Junior Leaders. I also serve currently as an Assistant District Commissioner.

 

I found that I still can touch boys by helping with my orginial troop as Unit Commissioner and Eagle Scout Project Advisor. Even though I don't actively run the troop, I still have input, especially since we just got a new Scoutmaster after 10 years.

 

There is life after Scoumaster, even after the circumstances you relate.

 

The best advise I can give you, is don't give up. Scouting needs leaders with your experience and love for the program. It still can be fun.