Uniform Police

[johnsned 10]

A friend of mine posted this on another site, I thought it was pretty funny and made some good points.

 

"OK, I have a confession to make. I used to belong to the Uniform Police. Yes, it's true. I rose quickly through the organization. First I worked part-time answering the phone at the "Uniform Snitch Hotline", and then assisting at Uniform Inspections, and then I became a full-fledged Uniform Inspector. Then FINALLY I got the big one, a promotion to become an undercover Insignia Placement Enforcement Officer, top grade. Oh baby, I had finally arrived! Wow! You should have seen me walking around so proudly with my clipboard of Uniform Inspection Sheets and a quick draw holster holding my micrometer. I loved yelling at newbie Cub Scouts and their clueless parents. And those little rug rats, I loved screaming, "Your Iron-On is peeling TIGER BOY!" They cry so easily. I loved to find merit badges upside down, or rank advancements sewn on the wrong pocket. I showed no mercy to people wearing more than one Quality Unit patch.

 

But the best was interrupting Eagle Courts of Honor, screaming wildly as I ran onstage if the mother pinned her son's Eagle medal on incorrectly. Ooooh, I lived for that one! But, as in all perfect stories, one fateful day I went too far. It was nighttime and I was at a council dinner looking to make a big score. That's when I saw him, an elderly man, Silver Beaver, 4-beader no less. Decked out in his finest set of Class A's, chest covered in knots, a real trophy bust. I thought nailing him would make my career! I quickly got in position and made my move. He didn't know what hit him. I slammed that old Woodbadger against the wall, getting right in his face I screamed, "I WANT TO SEE A SHINE ON THAT BEAVER, MISTER!" That's when it all came crashing down. I thought they'd just suspend me, maybe punish me, like a transfer down south of the Red River. But they kicked me out completely. I was a Uniform Police washout!

 

It was so humiliating! I was required to enroll in one of those 12-step programs. It was during one of those meetings that I finally saw the light. We were all in our "friendship circle" quietly chanting our mantra, "Uniforming is a Method, not a Goal", when suddenly it hit me! Uniforming is one of the Eight Methods of Scouting; not one of its Three Goals!!!

 

I fell to the floor. Bright light invaded the room. I had the sensation of floating in mid-air. Time seemed to stand still. That's when I heard this deep powerful booming voice coming from nowhere and everywhere all at the same time, "UNIFORMING IS A METHOD, NOT A GOAL!"

 

My life was forever changed after that incredible awe-inspiring experience. So now, years later, as a Scoutmaster and a reformed Uniformaholic, I can quietly and calmly share with you these simple but treasured thoughts. We have eight methods in Scouting, but we have to understand and accept that not every boy will become an Eagle, not every Scout will climb a mountain at Philmont, and the uniform isn't about how much of it you wear, but the reasons for which you wear it. Methods are ways of accomplishing Scouting; they are not an end in themselves.

 

Our Uniform should be about a bridge bringing people together, a reminder of the ideals we hold and a commitment to an Oath and set of Laws we share, a pride in what we are a part of, and an outward symbol of good to the community. For many people that uniform stands for hope, as they see a group of boys, tomorrow's leaders, learning about doing good works as they gather food for the hungry or care for the environment. Our uniform has come to stand for an organization that throughout its inception has helped over 100 million boys grow while doing their best.

 

A uniform can accomplish all of those things even if the patches aren't placed perfectly or the pants don't match.

Some people see the Uniform as a goal. They want their troop to look sharp. Getting everyone in complete uniform becomes the goal they seek. Suddenly what they're wearing becomes more important than why they're wearing it. Fostering citizenship, developing character, and promoting fitness are the three goals of the Scouting program. The uniform, in whole or part, is an outward symbol we use as one of the methods for getting us there. "

 

[Fat Old Guy 11]

Troll! No real member of the Uniform Police would ever use the term, "Class A" to describe a BSA uniform.

[JimmyD 10]

LOL very funny and true.

[dan 10]

Yes, it was funny in a mean sort of way.

Now can someone tell what the good point was or is? That we do not have to follow the methods? Or only the methods we want?

[andrewcanoe 10]

I wholeheartedly agree with the poster's idea. For those of you who didn't get it uniform is only 1 of the 8 methods to achieve the 3 goals of scouting.

 

Way too much time is spent finding fault in scout's uniforms when it could be spent more constuctivly on making a better person out of them. Some of the best people on the inside are often the worst apearing people on the outside.(I don't trust people who's uniforms are with out faults,I think they are aliens from outer space intent on sucking the fun out of the program)

[Fat Old Guy 11]

I don't get all of this. First, I don't see why it is so difficult for parents or Scouts to look in the handbook and see where patches go. Also, I grew up in an era when looking sharp was the norm so I don't understand how having a bunch of properly dressed scouts sucks the fun out of anything? Does having to wear your cap properly make a baseball game any less fun?

[evmori 11]

Excellent! Loved it! Right on the money!

[acco40 95]

The Cub Scout gives goodwill - except when it comes to uniforming!

 

Nice post. One may browse this forum and see the multitude of posts about neckerchiefs, hats, sashes, and on and on to see that the uniform stirs the hearts of many. Yes, as Scouters we should strive to wear the uniform correctly (part of our function as role models) but yes, there is a way to do encourage proper uniformly and a way NOT to do it. Badgering youth and adults is not a recommended avenue. Again, I really enjoyed the post.

[Bob White 20]

I'm with Dan. I think that the speech leaves the impression that the uniform is only one of eight methods. When in fact it is one of only eight methods (or seven as in the cases of Cub Scouting and Venturing).

 

Eight methods that make scouting the program that it is. It's not like you can ignore uniforming because it is ONLY one of the methods and you can do just fine with seven. Pay no attention to that flat tire, its only one of four.

 

Every method has a purpose and a roll to play in achieving the aims and mission including the uniform. It deserves as much adherence as any other method. The Scouting program shows great respect for its membership both youth and adult. Do not the methods deserve as much respect in return? Nobody likes the nitpicking uniform police, bt many more do not like seeing the methods of scouting ignored, no matter which method it is.

 

[dan 10]

Yeah you guys are right, after all it is only a method.

Ideals

Patrols

Outdoor Programs

Advancement

Personal Growth

Leadership Development

Uniform

Yous guys have convinced me, I am going to throw out the Outdoor Program method in MY troop.

[johnsned 10]

I think some of you unwittingly became the butt of this joke. I do not disagree with placing importance to the uniform; I think it serves an important purpose. I do think you can take this way too seriously and I think that is what the fake, made-up, imaginary story illustrates.

 

On my honor I will do my best I encourage my scouts to do their best, as I get to know them I understand more what their individual best is. I then encourage them to meet that, but hold back judgements until I know what their best is.

 

It is no business of mine if I see a Scouter who sewed on a temporary patch, or doesnt have his knots correctly aligned. Nor should I publicly point out that Billys pants while the right color arent BSA issue. I should understand the situation intimately before I offer guidance. This could be an incredible sensitive issue for the boy.

 

[dan 10]

I have changed my mind I have decided that I like the Outdoors to much, I have decided that I ME will change the Advancement method. I will add and subtract requirements to make some easier and some harder as I see fit. After all its only a method.

[Bob White 20]

My concern johnsned is your willingness to assume that anyone who uses the uniform as a method to achieve an aim of scouting is some nitpicking, child harrassing, rule spouter. So to remedy that prejudice you seem willing to discount the value of the entire method.

 

It is possible to respect and use the uniform without ridiculing, or embarrassing, anyone. There are no uniform police, there are just rude scouters, some of them wear the uniform correctly, but some of them do not. Both can do the program an injustice.

[Twocubdad 665]

Well I think this is just a completly bogus story! Every rookie uniform cop knows that you don't take on a four-beaded silver beaver in public and without back up! You've got to take these guys when they're off guard -- in the men's room or on a dark trail on the way back from a campfire. NEVER on their own turf in the middle of a council banquet! SHEEESH!

[johnsned 10]

TwoCubDad get's it. This story was a joke about the people who take it seriously and are too anxious to judge others and point out there shortcommings.

 

I guess I wasn't sufficiently clear when I started this topic. This is a joke, not an actual event not even a parable. When I said "I thought this was funny and made some good points" Again I was unclear. Some points good some point perhaps not so good. I agree with the spirit of the story not every point. I thought it was more humorous than educational.

 

Bob White, I appreciate the way you voiced your concern. "My concern johnsned is your willingness to assume that anyone who uses the uniform as a method to achieve an aim of scouting is some nitpicking, child harrassing, rule spouter. So to remedy that prejudice you seem willing to discount the value of the entire method."

 

I agree whole heartedly that the Uniform is a valid and powerful method to achieve the aims of scouting. I only think that people who are nitpicking, child harrassing, rule spouters are such, not those who take using the uniform seriously and are encouraging youth and adults alike to give due respect to the uniform. Sometimes we adults can take ourselves too seriously and when we do that underminds our influence with the boys, as does not being consistent.

 

I am still not sure how Dan read into this that I am trying to do away with the Uniform.

 

Thanks for your responses.

 

John