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Advice-Talk to Boy or Parents?

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  • #16
    Had a heart-to-heart with the SM who is a good guy. He will talk to the boy and go from there. He agreed that we have no first hand knowledge except for the "free security advice" to other boys. Apparently last year he thought a couple boys on how to circumvent security at boot up "like it never happened". Several boys got busted by their parents and it was traced back to this boy. So he had a history of that.

    So for now I think it is the best approach. I discussed it with my adviser (wife) who reminded me that parents are expecting us Scouters to keep our eyes open for trouble and intervene to help a boy out. We have to use our best judgement. It helps to get the big picture.

    I'll keep you guys posted.

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    • #17
      Oh my God! A teenage boy has an interest in viewing pornography! Stop the presses!

      When I served as a Scoutmaster, I viewed what the boys discussed with me during Scoutmaster Conferences as privileged information - not "keeping secrets."

      I've overheard boys tell sexual jokes that were very inappropriate in my view, curse (not at someone but just out of frustration), and other such behavior. Usually, my reaction was to tell them that I didn't approve of such behavior and didn't take it much further than that.

      My guess is that parents, who spend much more time with their boys than I do, are more aware of their behavior. Heck, the boys may just be emulating their parents.

      I think if we treat the boys with respect, have high expectations and treat them fairly we get better results than continually relaying information back to parents.

      Also, at this age, the boys have a fantastic hypocrisy radar. Think of it this way, let's say you are an SM and one of your SAs tells an off-color joke away from the boys. Do you tell his parents? What feedback do you give the SA? Now, what if by chance, unknown to you, your 16 yr old SPL overheard and witnessed that behavior.

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