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5yearscouter

how would your troop handle a rumor of a bisexual scout?

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shortridge

 

Baseless and empty retorts are a sign that one has no valid basis for their argument, and you do that so well and often. There are certain topics where you may not need all the facts to make a judgement, however this one is not one of them.

 

shortridge, there are times when I even agree with you, however the truth is in life we do not always agree with anyone all of the time.

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I work in an all male prison.

Younger guys make up the majority of the population.

None of these guys are where they are for singing too loud in the church choir.

The day to day language used between inmates is worse than I'd imagine sailors or truck drivers might use. (Not that I've been around many truck drivers and the ones that I have been around have been nice guys!)

Still even with Black inmates calling each other the "N" Word "F -you" Not something that is taken much notice of. Calling someone Gay is up there as being the highest form of insult.

I really can't remember back when I was a Lad any insult that I or anyone I knew really took to heart or seriously. -Nothing like this calling someone gay seems to do.

I of course don't know the Lad who was given what sounds like the third degree.

There may or may not be a reason why he is being picked upon?

A lot of boys about his age are finding their own sexuality some are very confused.

While there are boys who as young as about 14 think that they are homosexual or know that they are and are OK being "Out".

Others have all the right equipment, hormones running wild and experiment sometimes with other boys. This can at times make them even more confused and lead to others trying to label them.

Some men and some boys might come off as seeming effeminate and not be in any way homosexual.

Being called unwanted names is a form of bullying.

From what has been posted here so far, it seems to me that this poor kid is more the victim, than anything else.

 

I have posted in the past that Scouting should be a sex free zone.

I still think that.

However boys will be boys and I remember when I was a Scout, other Scouts bringing Playboy magazines and telling stories of their "Conquests" Which 99.9% of the time were pure imagination and wishful thinking.

So sex is going to be a topic that most boys talk about. As a rule not when adults are within earshot.

Most Scouts have never had sex with anyone.

So in my book that makes it hard to be gay, bisexual or even straight.

Activities that some boys get into which can seem homosexual are very often part of growing up and experimentation.

Things get out of whack when there is a big age difference between the boys or the activities become more than just experimentation.

A Lad who is being bullied crying out that he is bisexual seem to me more a cry for help than him admitting some dark secret.

If there is evidence that this Lad has behaved inappropriately with others?

Then that behavior and what happened warrants some kind of confidential investigation.

If all that happened is a Lad who was under duress said something?

Then, other than investigating those who were bullying him.

Leave the poor kid alone.

These third degree tactics are way out of line and the people who participated in them should be ashamed of themselves.

How dare they treat a Lad who is the victim in such a way.

Bad enough we have Scouter's who want to play policeman, but when they become judge and jury in areas where they no nothing!

Shame on them. They have no idea the harm they could be doing.

5yearscouter,

If you are a friend of this Lad's parents you might want to see if they can get this poor kid into some place where he can get some professional help to try and undo the harm these idiots have done.

We lose far too many great kids to suicide every year.

 

Eamonn.

 

 

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There is good evidence that five adults interviewed one Scout. That does seem excessive.

 

 

As to the rest, it's third hand guessing and gossip. There isn't enough information to even guess what might have happened.

 

Throwing in the word "bisexual" doesn't change that fact.

 

 

I support the idea of a quiet Scoutmaster Conference to sort out what might or might not have happened and offer any advice that might be constructive.

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In First Aid they teach to act within your level of training. I think that the 5 individuals who interrogated the scout acted outside their level of training. Doing so they created a great deal of risk for the scout and the troop. Assuming a suspected youth protection issue the leaders role would be to report the issue to council. They have neither the training nor expertise to conduct an investigation.

 

Eamonn is spot on with his comments, particularly about the potential consequences. Assume that the boy might be gay or bisexual or uncertain. Assume that the boy's parents might have attitudes similar to Scoutmom's. Yes "Mom", your son could be gay and would probably never dare tell you. This child would have no one to speak to and seeing that he is about to be outed could feel that he has no better option but to take his own life. Nobody wants that kind of outcome.

 

 

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Well, scout's mom is pissed.

Scoutmaster won't talk to her. Won't tell her what accusations are against her son or what kind of thing they are investigating. Let's see if committee chair talks to her. In the morning will talk to the scout executive. She knows that if an allegation of sexual abuse has been reported to the SE that she may not get any info, hopefully she'll at least be told if something was reported or not.

 

Sigh.

I'm pretty sure she'll also be at the next committee meeting Monday night.

 

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I feel for the boy, for you and for your troop--this won't be pretty, it won't end well and no one will be the better for it. Good luck.

 

 

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Well, if there is an allegation of sexual abuse, then the Police will have to get involved.

 

That will get messy fast.

 

 

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Eng61

 

I never said keep it in the family so please stop misquoting me. Since in a previous thread you admitted to having little experience with troubled youth or a desire to ever do so I respectively suggest your scenario and suggestions offered here are way off base and unrealistic at best, and at worst will potentially do much harm to the teen involved.

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>>"In the morning will talk to the scout executive.">"She knows that if an allegation of sexual abuse has been reported to the SE that she may not get any info,"

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I hope we get an update on the SE's take on things. I doubt that they have a serious accusation on this boy that the Council knows about, and the Council did not act on it, or told the Unit leaders to handle it on there own terms.

 

They may have knowledge of a small incident they think unworthy of their attention, and therefore told the Adult leadership to handle it with the assumption that the unit had adults with common sense and not on an out-of-control power trip. I can see this type of reaction if all it was is an off-the cuff remark, that was inappropriate.

 

Either way, if you are accused of something, I disagee with leadership, penalizing you for it without letting you know what you are accused of.. Or grilling you for something you did, that you have no idea what that something is..

 

How can you defend your actions without knowing what you are accused of, especially if someone is lying about the accusation.

 

I had that happen once where my management denied me a pay raise due to something I was accused of saying to someone else. I was not told what it was, so I could not answer the charge. It took years to find out it was a woman, on a stab-you-in-the-back mission for promotion, who wanted my job, who accused me of telling her she could not go on vacation..

 

Well there was something, she said she was off the next week, and I laughed and teased her about it, saying something like "How will this place function without you!!".. I was not her boss, or even a member of her department. So what swing she put on that to management to get my raise denied I am unsure.. But by the time I figured out what it was, it was years past, and the damage was done.

 

"You know what you did.." is not a reason not to allow the person the benifit of knowing what they are accused of .. Because.. "No" they do not know what they are accussed of doing, unless they are truely guilty of it..

 

And I know that we did have an incident, years back in our unit. Council, Leaders met with accused scout & parents and did inform them what he was accused of. The scout admitted to doing it, and he was removed from the troop.. So unless this is a new policy of not informing the accused, then it is not a nationwide policy..

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I find it funny that what started as the leadership interrogating a youth based on a RUMOR of his sexuality has somehow turned into some scouters of this site chastizing other scouters on this site for falling into rumour mongering and being in bad tatse.

 

First thing first...A person within a unit that is connected to the scout in question asked for advice. That advice was asked for in the interest of the scouts well being, not for spreading rumors or for giving the unit a spotlight or public advertisement.

 

get that? it was all in concern for the scout.

 

 

Secondly, there seems to be a challenge of who is qualified to help troubled teens. Really? The original poster never said the scout in question was a troubled teen. That is a fabrication of the imagination gone wild of a member of this site.

 

Speaking of rumors and heresay...didn't this all start as a baseless attck on ascout? Boys being ...well..just strupid boys. I'm sure it wasn't a pre meditated plan to search for and evict gay scouts from the unit....but sensless stupid boy s being just that.

 

Point is, it seems that the leadership reacted to a scout reacting to a rumor.

 

They reacted badly, very badly at that.

 

Now, I notice that nobody is saying that the scout could very well stand up and say: Yes! I am Bisexual" to the leaders, and they cannot do anything about it based on national policy.

 

But the parents - who are very much allowed and within their rights to be at any and all meetings that their LEGALLY UNDERAGE SON happens to be a part of - can ask the leaders to present proof that their son said anything, and what turn of events( as wells as those involved in those events) brought that out?

 

Now personally, I myself would have a big ole less than scoutlike talk with those leaders and any member of the CO including the COr and his son, and tell them what part of my anatomy they can kiss as I walk out.

 

This troop is rotten. And you can't make rotten fruits become un rotten. All you can do is toss it out and start over.

 

This troop is going to implode soon.

 

We know that one scout is lyying and says the Interrogated scaouyt has amitted to him personally about being Bi. So we have lying scouts in troop.

Another scout drags up a picture off the web of interrogated scout in a costume, but in a slanderous way, acts like the "I" scout dresses thiw way all the time.

 

The mom of a scout is blabbing to her daughter about "private": meetings. So who else does she blab to? What about her daughter?

 

Sorry folks, this is a rotten to the core clique troop. You are either friends of the "right" people or youi are just a hurddle waiting to be stabbed in the back, be trashed or have your name drug through the dirt in order to benefit or make somebody else look good..

 

There is no intergrety, honor or Scout Honor in this troop.

 

It is going to implode. When or where is a good guess, but not if!

 

 

 

 

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