Dilemma

[T259Eagle]

I have two boys that are in scouting. The youngest one is a Wolf. The oldest just started Boy Scouts. He just about has his Tenderfoot and Second Class done. We are in the process of starting our troop back up in our town, until now we had to go to another Troop out of town. We had our elections last week and I was the only one nominated for Scout Master so I was voted in. The problem is the current Cubmaster wants out, so that he can join his boy in Boy Scouts. He would also like to be the Scoutmaster. I am actually good with giving him the Scoutmaster role and me taking the Cubmaster role. The problem lies with my oldest boy. He is so, happy that I got Scoutmaster, that he has told everyone. When ever I ask him about stepping aside for the other guy and taking the Cubmaster spot he gets real sad and upset with me.

 

I am really torn what to do. I fear that if I do not take the Cubmaster position that the Pack will dissolve. And if I do take the Cubmaster position, my oldest might quit or I will not be able to be his Scoutmaster later. But I also believe that my youngest will eventually chose sports over scouts, but until that time I want to make sure if he wants to be in scouts that we have Pack for him to be in.

 

I think that I need to know for tomorrows meeting. Lets hear what you guys think.

[John-in-KC]

Welcome to the Forums ...

 

Have you had cups of coffee with the Chartered Organization Representatives for both the Pack and the Troop? What is their take on where you are needed?

 

To be blunt, the parenting relationship should not matter in where you serve. I've been a committeeman and MB Counselor all the time EagleSon was a youth member in the Troop, and was an ACM in his Pack.

 

To my way of thinking, go where you can best serve the young people of your area. Then, it's all good

 

I'd sure like to hear how you finally decide

 

(This message has been edited by John-in-KC)

[Lisabob]

Call up the other fellow. Talk with him about planning a transition for a year from now. That gives you both time to work together to ensure that it goes well for both the pack and the troop, and it gives you both an "end in sight" to look forward to.

 

If I understood your post correctly, this other dad has a son just joining boy scouts now. It probably wouldn't be the best thing for the brand-new parent to become the leader, even if he is a former scout and current cub master. As you know, the SM job is not the easiest in the world; encourage him to take the role of "parent" for a while so that he, and his son, can adjust to the troop before taking a leadership role.

 

Of course, if you really don't want to do this job then you need to explain to your son that you are stepping aside for everybody's sake. Someone who is miserable as SM won't help the troop and will inevitably bring stress home to the family. It isn't an easy job. If that's the situation then maybe you and your son can find a different way for the two of you to spend some special dad-son time together, doing something you both enjoy.

 

 

[T259Eagle]

The other person was the Cubmaster for his boy and both of my boys. He is not new to the program. His boy is a year older than my oldest. He was a great Cubmaster, and now he wans to move on and follow his son. And I guess that is what I kind of want to do as well.

 

I think that talking this though together may be the right answer. I like the idea of having an end in sight. Maybe that is what we need to sit down and talk about.

[William862]

Well, my advise is to take care of the pack at all cost. I understand about wanting to follow your child through to scouting and im sure nobody would hold it aginst you, but, a pack feeds a scout troop. I would hate to see (worse case) you pack fall apart and the troop do ok for a while then you end up two or three years down the road and the troop fall apart due to a unorganized pack not feeling your troop with boys.

 

Its best for both pack an troop to keep the pack active and strong.

 

Goodluck

William

[boomerscout]

I would take your son on a drive to the ice cream parlor (or wherever)--just the two of you. During the drive remind him that he had a good time in Cubs (?), and now it's his brother's turn to enjoy Cubs. That you never really wanted to be SM, but no one else volunteered, and that you finally found someone who really wants the position. Tell him you'd really like a chance to be Cubmaster, but you'll also try to be one of the troop's adult staff.

[ntrog8r]

Hmm, tough call. Personally, I'd talk with my son. How would he feel about it? How does he feel about Scouting if the Cubmaster becomes the Scoutmaster? What do the other parents think? What do you think? Some time with just you and your son may help sort it all out and there would be no conflict.

[Gunny2862]

Lots of good positions above, a lot to think about.

 

Adding to the Fray -

What do you want to do?

 

What will be the best for the Pack in the long run?

What will be the best for the Troop in the long run?

 

As to your boys - they will both wind up in the Troop in a couple of years if your oldest will stay... if you stay with the Pack for now - then you can move into an ASM position and possibly become the SM later if you move up to the Troop with your younger son but if you know that's your future then start looking for and training the next CM even as you start doing the job - he(or she) will be a key player in the long-term health of your new Troop.

[acco40]

If your oldest son will only stay in the troop if you are the Scoutmaster - he definitely needs someone else to be Scoutmaster!

 

Assure him of your presence regardless of your troop position and see what his take is.

 

[BDPT00]

I'm curious who's doing this "voting."

BDPT00

[OldGreyEagle]

I have to echo BDP, just as there is no crying in baseball, unless you are a Chicago Cubs fan, 100 years or so and counting, there is no voting in the BSA, well voting to "elect" adult unit positions at least.

 

But that's not the issue here. Your son and your relationship with him are what is the issue. Your role as Cubmaster may be pivotal in what your younger son chooses. if you aren't the Cubmaster, then that lengthens the odds he will stay, or not as we don't know your son. Sit down, give it to God, listen to what he has to say and follow it

[Beavah]

Yah, I'm goin' to approach this from a different angle, eh?

 

The Troop Committee and Chartered Organization have selected you to be Scoutmaster, and you agreed. You consulted with your family, and they agreed to make da adjustments and sacrifices required, and celebrated your commitment.

 

It's not OK for you to work out somethin' different with this other fellow on the side, as though you two are the only ones who really matter.

 

That's not your decision to make.

 

A Scouter is Trustworthy. You volunteered to be Scoutmaster. You were selected after deliberation as Scoutmaster. You must serve as Scoutmaster, or violate their trust and not fulfill your commitment.

 

To my mind, that's the only decision you have, eh? Runnin' around behind people's backs workin' out deals with this other guy is just not OK. There may have been reasons why folks on the committee didn't ask/nominate him that you're not privy to. And if this other fellow really cared about da job, he would have spoken up and nominated himself at the proper time.

 

In a year, when the decision comes around again, yeh might take different counsel. But for now, your time to bow out ended when yeh didn't withdraw your name before you were selected. Quittin' now just ain't honorable. And I think yeh already recognize that it's not the example yeh want to set for your son.

 

Beavah

(This message has been edited by Beavah)

[T259Eagle]

Wow Beavah. I did not see that coming. I am still trying to figure that response out.

[boomerscout]

double wow! His name was the only name in the hat. He accepted because there was no-one else. Now he's found someone wanting to step up. Don't see where you're coming from

[John-in-KC]

But you did accept.

 

Scoutmaster is an honor and a responsibility. It means people trust you to be a major part of raising their young men. You're the lab leader who will teach them more about democracy, in a practical way, than any Government teacher. You're the example of all that is the Scout Law, teaching them about good character by your actions. You're the guy who will make sure they learn the outdoor skills. You won't teach them; they'll teach themselves, but you're the one keeping a weather eye on things.

 

Scoutmaster means they're all your sons.