Why did you quit?

[Zahnada]

When people meet me, it doesn't take long for them to find out I'm an Eagle Scout. Then they always explain how they were a Cub Scout or Boy Scout and why they dropped out but wished they hadn't. Well, I'm interested in what causes the drop outs. This might be useful information to any leaders out there who read this and are dealing with boys or sons who don't think scouting is right for them.

 

I actually quit Cub Scouts. My friends had all left to pursue sports. The program always struck me as too focused on arts and crafts (at least the den I was in). Also popularity became an issue and scouting wasn't the "cool" thing to do. I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into Boy Scouts by my older brothers. They had to force me to go to meetings for a year when suddenly I made some friends and everything kind of clicked. I was hooked ever since. If not for those brothers, I wouldn't even be starting this thread right now.

 

So for everyone out there who dropped out of scouting or considered dropping out, what prompted you to do it? No time? Poor program? No friends? Popularity? Sports? Money? The meeting place had a funny smell? Moved and never started again?

 

And if you feel you made a mistake by dropping out, what advice would you give to a teenager in your position?

[OneHour]

I had to drop out of scouting when I was a few requirements from First Class in 1979. Why? Money. Going to camp and all of the scouting basic necessities cost a lot. Having just came to the US for about 3 years, my parents could not afford for me to stay in. We were too proud to take handouts or helps! Being 14, I was too young to work for the money. Mowing lawn only paid for part of it. My younger brother and I had to quit. No regrets at all. Too proud to ask my parents for the money. Don't get me wrong my parents are my heroes. They started over empty handed twice. Having to work practically day and night at minimum wage to raise 6 kids, they never complained. Success? All six went to college on full scholarship (netted 3 master degrees, 2 bachelors, 1 md). Gratitude? We all chipped in and had them retired early and continue to take of them!

 

The short time that I was in scouting was probably the most memorable memories of my childhood. Throughout high school, I wished that I had got a chance to attain the Eagle ranking.

 

1Hour(This message has been edited by OneHour)

[Fuzzy Bear]

I started in the Cub Scouts and finished Scouting when I left for college. I played football, went to church, enjoyed friendships with band members, geeks and freaks. I was never considered an outcast but always felt like one.

 

I helped our local O.A. chapter start an Indian Dance team. We traveled all over the state and into a couple of others to dance at all kinds of events. I won several competitions in the fancy dance and the hoop dance. I made my own costume and beaded a full Brotherhood sash (i.e., front and back) just prior to receiving the Vigil award.

 

I completed my Eagle at age 14 and went on to work on and complete my God and Country award with our minister. Since I worked for my Dad during the summers, my dream of working staff at summer camp was not fulfilled.

 

I used some of my earnings to purchase $60.00 worth of hiking gear from the local used military dealer and also paid for my trip to Philmont. At age 15, it was the experience of a lifetime. It was the first time that I had actually seen mountains and then hiked through them. I kept a diary of the event.

 

I went to summer camp each year. The summer before going to Philmont our SM allowed me to plan for our Troop's summer camp of hiking in the hills and forests between OK and AR on a trail called the Kiamichi. We obtained the Hiking Merit badge and the 50 Miler.

 

In the Cubs, I obtained what was then known as the Webelos award. Along the way, we carved soap, made cardboard rocket ships and space gear. We met weekly and had a great time doing all kinds crafts and games.

 

My older brother left Scouting when we moved and after my Dad dropped out. My brother stopped a few merit badges short of Eagle. He was more interested in our company and other youthful pursuits. I never understood the real reason but that was his decision. He has since taken over the company and has made a fortune.

 

I made mine another way in Scouting.

 

FB

 

[Laurie]

I was in Girl Scouts, made it to Cadette, would have continued, but the troop folded due to lack of interest. I would have gone to another, but I didn't know how to find one.

 

My husband made it to Star or Life (not sure which but HE knows), loved Boy Scouts, and his troop folded. He didn't know he could go to another one either; all he knew was that Scouting in his area was done with.

 

We each have regrets, for we each wanted to continue, had a good time, learned a lot, have fond memories of Scouting. We are both leaders with our sons' units now because we know how important it is to have leaders so units don't fold. (We also just happen to love the BSA )

[Scoutmaster Ron]

Made is as far as AOL, none of my friends wanted to continue on, I cant remember if I had anyone actually approach me about going into Boy Scouts

[KoreaScouter]

I made it to First Class, then drifted away and was, presumably, DFR'd next recharter.

 

Why did I quit? There were a few reasons, none of which are anything more than excuses, in retrospect.

 

We were chartered to my elementary school, which was K-8. Once I finished 8th grade and moved on to high school, the elementary school was no longer a part of my life.

 

I saw my SM perhaps twice a year. An ASM actually ran things, and he seemed to be a one-man show (and as I recall, he seemed almost constantly annoyed about virtually everything).

 

If we had an SPL or patrols, I couldn't tell you who/what they were. The ASM called all the shots, just like a Cub den.

 

I loved our council camp, Camp Miakonda. But, it was the only place we went, and we only went 3 times a year. No other outdoor program, and we were an urban troop.

 

Here's the real kicker. When I started high school, the commute and the homework took a lot of time, and I'm sure I used that as an excuse not to go to Scout meetings. But, there was certainly a period of time during which I was on the fence, and would have come back if I thought somebody cared. But nobody called and asked where I had been or why I wasn't coming. So, I figured they didn't care.

 

The advice I give Scouts in SM conferences is to set a goal and stick to it, don't let temporary demands on your time chase you away permanently from Scouting (we'll always welcome you back, whether it's two weeks or two months), and if you want your program to deliver something you're not getting now, get some green bars and make it happen. I also tell them that when I look back on it as an adult, leaving Scouting was the biggest mistake I ever made. And, more importantly, it's one of the few mistakes you can't go back and fix. Once you're 18, it's too late to play "make up".

 

When my son completed his Star BOR, I told thim that everything he did in Scouting as a youth from now on would be something I never did, and would never be able to do.

 

KS

[OneHour]

KoreaScouter ... that is exactly what I told my oldest (working on his Star)...

 

"I told thim that everything he did in Scouting [and everything else] as a youth from now on would be something I never did [, never got a chance to], and would never be able to do."

 

... something that I always wished that I have a chance to do as a boy ... spend the time with my Dad.

 

 

 

I forgot Zahnada's question about what advice I would give to a teenager. My advice to a teenager in my position is best summarized in my all time favorite song by Gordon Lightfoot (The House You Live In):

 

"Go first in the world, go forth with your fears

Remember a price must be paid

Be always too soon, be never too fast

...

 

And the song that you sing should not be too sad

And be sure not to sing it too slow

Be calm in the face of all common disgraces

And know what theyre doing it for

...

 

And he who is wise will not criticize

When other men fail at the game

...

 

When youre down in the dumps and not ready to deal

Decide what it is that you need

...

 

Be known as a man who will always be candid

On questions that do not relate

...

 

And the house you live in will never fall down

If you pity the stranger who stands at your gate"

 

Make a decision and don't regret your decision, but learn from it, good or bad. Take full advantage of the opportunities that were given to you and remember that there many boys in your school, in your city, in your state, in the US, and in the world do not have the same opportunities!

 

Ask your Scoutmasters, Den Leaders, Cubmasters, parents ... why do they do what they do now for scouting. Most if not all will tell you that they were touched by scouting in some way or another and that the principles, life-skills, memories, and friendships that they had once upon a time carry forth to this day and days to come.

 

And that's what scouting is all about ... not just the Eagle Ranking!

 

1Hour

 

 

[OldGreyEagle]

Onehour

 

So its the journey, not the destination that counts...

 

I quite agree

[Zahnada]

Koreascouter said, "But, there was certainly a period of time during which I was on the fence, and would have come back if I thought somebody cared. But nobody called and asked where I had been or why I wasn't coming. So, I figured they didn't care."

 

Note to all scouts and scouters: Don't let boys "disappear"! If a scout stops showing up, do some follow up. We're not the mafia. They can choose to quit. But they must know that we all care and that the troop will always be there for them if they choose to come back.

[MidwestMom]

I've been lurking here since I don't feel qualified to comment on most topics, but since I was a Girl Scout dropout, I think I can comment on this one. I recall making it as far as Cadette and earning a few proficiency badges along the way. I think I dropped out because, compared to 4-H, Girl Scouts was both too hard in some ways (some requirements seemed difficult to meet and hard to find help with) and too easy in others (many requirements seemed trivial, and you only had to complete them once). Therefore I preferred to give my time and energy to 4-H. What I liked about 4-H was that one could take a particular project more than once, and each year the project became more challenging. My 4-H leader was also a home economics teacher, and very helpful with projects such as clothing or foods. The 4-H project manuals had just about all the information one needed to do the project; if Girl Scouts had Proficiency Badge manuals then, I did not know they existed.

 

Now I have a son who is a Tenderfoot. This is my first real experience with Boy Scouts, and I think the program is excellent.

[OneHour]

OGE ... yup!

 

the destination is the added bonus ... the icing on the cake!(This message has been edited by OneHour)

[mk9750]

MWMom,

 

Welcome! Nice to have a new face! I hope you enjoy your time here!

 

You're always qualified to offer opinions, so don't let that stop you. Let everyone know it's how you feel. If you're a little off base, most people won't attck, they'll guide.

 

I just recounted my experience in another thread last week. The short version is my mom made me quit because I got frostbite at a winter campout. Sure wish I had continued. Some of the things my sons have learned in their Scout careers I envy!

 

If I could get a boy to hear what I say on the topic, I think I'd make sure they understood to keep their eyes and minds open during the journey. Let's face it - for most boys, it's the goal they fixate on. But the real value to the program is what they'll see on the way.

 

Mark

[mk9750]

MWMom,

 

Welcome! Nice to have a new face! I hope you enjoy your time here!

 

You're always qualified to offer opinions, so don't let that stop you. Let everyone know it's how you feel. If you're a little off base, most people won't attck, they'll guide.

 

I just recounted my experience in another thread last week. The short version is my mom made me quit because I got frostbite at a winter campout. Sure wish I had continued. Some of the things my sons have learned in their Scout careers I envy!

 

If I could get a boy to hear what I say on the topic, I think I'd make sure they understood to keep their eyes and minds open during the journey. Let's face it - for most boys, it's the goal they fixate on. But the real value to the program is what they'll see on the way.

 

Mark

[matuawarrior]

I earned my Life Scout rank before I went to the World Jamboree in Alberta, Canada. When I returned the troop I spent 4 years with folded. No parent wanted to be Scoutmaster even mine. So I transfered to an on-base troop. That worked out fine until my sponsor left island. So I was on my own trying to make it on base, anyway I could.

 

I served on summercamp staff and was a member of the OA when they still did "Tap Outs" back then. I was appointed JASM with the new troop.

 

THEN I got involved with sports in high school, cars, and girls. I spent alot of time in JROTC, which was alright.

 

The 2nd semester of my Senior year, I went back, a little to late, to work on my Eagle Scout packet after I read an Army ROTC Scholarship Application asking if I earned my Eagle Scout Award.

 

I ran out of time especially with the Personal Management MB. I didn't have the required time to finish. I had finished my Eagle Project but didn't have two Eagle required MB's to go before the board: Personal Management and Citizenship in the World.

 

So I'm a Life for life.

 

Matua

 

 

[LauraT7]

Hi Midwest Mom! I'm another scout mom from the midwest - Illinois! Welcome, and drop me a line anytime you want to compare notes!

 

I was 'almost' a girl scout dropout -

 

like many, girls and boys - the shift between grade-school and Jr high was a real strain. it wasn't 'cool' to be in scouts - not that I was ever considered 'cool' anyway....

 

I had been really gung-ho in Junior scouts (grades 3 - 6)and had practically every badge there was, participated in everything, never missed a campout or event.

 

But when I hit Jr high and 7th grade, a whole lot of things conspired to make it tough for me to be in a troop in my school district, and i just wasn't that interested.

 

however - I DID like Camping, and my mom convinced me to stay on as a 'scout at large' - which was GSA's designation for a GS that didn't belong to a troop, yet maintained membership. That way, I could still participate in summer camp and a few other things. So for 7th and most of 8th grade I didn't do much of anything - I did go to camp, and I discovered music. I learned to play the guitar (somewhat!) and I was pretty good with the younger girls at camp.

 

sometime into 8th grade, my mom found out about a troop in a nearby town that had a leader who did things a little differently - she dragged me to a meeting, and the girls were so friendly, they actually WANTED me to join them - I was hooked. I was almost OUT of Cadettes by then, so I scrambled to earn my First Class - which, at the time, was the highest award a Girl Scout COULD earn, and had to be done while a Cadette (before 10th grade). i was a CIT at summer camp, and later, a camp counselor in high school.

 

Sr. Scouts didn't have 'awards' like they do now - Gold Award, etc. The only thing they had was these Career Exploration bars - I earned about a half- dozen of those. ( sure don't know what they mean now! but I still have all my pins!) But more importantly, i got to participate in a number of 'wider opportunities' - the GSA equivalent of boy scout Jamborees, or going to

Philmont.

 

I've always been glad my mom had me hang in there, yet didn't push too hard. I was a Girl Scout for 15 years - right thru college.

 

I used the same strategy with my son in Boy Scouts - when he hit a rough spot in 6th grade - having ADD, changing schools, homework, confirmation, deaths in our family (we lost Grandpa and our dog that year) just dealing with everything that year was just too much for him. After being in Cubs from Tigers through AOL - and then joining a troop in 5th grade; he was tired of what seemed like more 'schoolwork' to him. I let him back off, and didn't push him to do any advancement or badges in 6th grade - just to go on the activities and campouts that he thought would be fun.

 

The summer AFTER that tough year - he caught the 'bug' from some of his scout friends. it really helped that he HAD some solid friends thru scouting - and that he did go to summer camp - he does LOVE camping.

 

He still has his ups and downs - he's now 13 1/2 and in 8th grade - but he just earned his Star - and has enough badges for a silver palm, if he completes the other requirements and time in between - and HE sees the goal in reach and is excited about it.

 

-----------------

 

i HAVE seen boys in our troop 'drift off' and i do think that we have a pretty good handle on maintaining contact with them. many are into sports - and if we DIDN't maintain that contact with the boys & their families, we would very likely have lost a few. But our boys are always welcomed back after an absence - and they are kept up to date while they are gone - so some my CHOOSE to leave ( some have) - but we don't really have aproblem with boys 'drifting' away - at lest until they are older - cars, jobs and girls. and I don't think anyone has found a 'cure' for that yet! LOL!

 

Laura