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Ahoydave

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About Ahoydave

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  1. I had been a scout leader since my older son was a Tiger cub through eagle scout and on to college. I took the experience of my autistic son to show me the reality I was blind to. The concept that autism, ADD, ADHD etc. is a result of bad parenting is not unusual particularly in conservative churches. It has even been promoted on conservative talk radio.
  2. I was an ASM for many years and currently a Special Olympics coach in several sports for a longer time. I have a now adult son with autism. I gave up on scouting because of how the adults treated my son, not how the kids treated him. The boys were great. My son's paperwork was always getting lost by the adults. He completed requirements up to three times for some badges before the adults would finally admit he had done the work. The last straw was when the troop decided to work on the disabilities awareness merit badge. They did not tell me and scheduled it when I would be out of town for a Sp
  3. To keep this topic alive, it's time for an update. There are about the same number of autistic kids in the US as the total number of scouts and scouters in BSA. When today's scouts are in the workplace, they will be supporting 7 million autistic adults. In my experience as a volunteer with Special Olympics, it has become very clear that the best thing that can be done to help these people integrate into society and even help pay their way is to be included. The only successful treatment to date for autism has been intense socialization. Earlier in this thread, I described how my son was
  4. My son and I have not been involved in scouts for a couple of months now. It makes it easier to reflect on the experience. Not once in the years he was in scouting was my son involved in a flag ceremony. It sums up his scouting career. I do recall asking on several occasions but it never happened. I tried to explain to the leaders in the OA tapout ceremony that my son runs from what he feels is anger. If it were not for one of his fellow scouts in the ceremony, it would have ended badly as the shouting in the ceremony went on as usual. The fellow scout went on the serve in Iraq and like a
  5. Snipe droppings is a good analogy for scouting and the mentally challenged. Some don't think a problem exists while others wish they weren't stepping in something that shouldn't exist. There are several realities I have learned from being an ASM, a father of an autistic scout, and a Special Olympics coach. First, "normal" kids are willing and able to accept special kids if the adults provide an example. If the adults are fearful or too rigid in their ways, the kids will follow their example. As the special kids get older, the younger kids are less inclined to include them. They need guida
  6. There are a couple of issues I see. First issue is parents who want their kids to be examples for their own bragging rights and will do whatever they can to see that it happens. The second is parent paranoia. They see the TV news and live in fear. The term Helicopter parents covers both groups. Both issues need to be addressed with some parent orientation. They need to be informed that scouting is supposed to prepare kids for life, to be prepared, but to do that, the kids need to be trusted to make their own decisions. The kids need to learn to fail and pick themselves up. On the second issue,
  7. The reason I brought up the issue on a national forum is BECAUSE the support is local and more a matter of luck. Without national incentive, it will remain local and only exist if a champion of the cause can make it happen and maintain it. Such champions must also be charismatic or properly connected to succeed. In an earlier post, there was an article mentioned and when I read it some time ago, it lifted my spirits as it came out during a time when the social support my son was getting in scouts was beginning to fade. The "new" had worn off. Yet another summer camp had left off many of h
  8. I am at a loss to understand how anyone would extrapolate that I am critical of those who put out the extra effort. I posted my experience in the hope to change what I perceive as a somewhat callus policy at the national level that does nothing to encourage extra effort. Something as simple as recruiting a friend will earn a patch but putting out effort to accommodate special needs kids will earn nothing unless individual leaders create some recognition. I don't expect BSA to have training that could hope to cover the array of nuances of special needs kids. I am surprised to hear about
  9. There seems to be some misunderstanding about where my experience comes from. I have been a registered scouter for 15 years, the last 10 as an ASM, beginning before my autistic son was a tiger. As a kid, a temporary move overseas interrupted my own scout career. My plans to restart it when I returned at age 12 ended when a good friend was killed on a scout troop hike falling through thin ice. My concern over the wellbeing of my kids and requests from parents to be a role model for their kids led me to be involved at the beginning of my older son's scouting. As I said before, in all that time,
  10. This not about finger pointing but what can be done to improve scouting. BSA is an organization of people and there is certainly an attitude of perfection as demontrated by the defensiveness. The idea that the program might use updating expectedly confronts traditionalists and elicits a blame anyone but the program. The program has no malice. Blaming it is pretty much a waste of time. It is a program that should be growing and adapting or it suffers. There are kids that help the disabled a great deal but there are many who don't. The reasons they don't can vary. I suspect in many cases, its
  11. Beavah, you're pretty much right on. As for what constitutes challenging kids, I would not put autism is a problem unless the problem is created by mishandling. Like other challenged kids, their misbehaviors are a result of fear stemming from lack of communication. In my experience, the kids with emotional issues resulting from disfunctional families are one serious problem and another are those who are very smart but seemingly without a moral compass are the worst. The latter are generally smarter than most adults, know it, and get away with unbelievable things. The duped adults tend to fav
  12. Thanks for the responses. Bob, your response is stereotypical of the problem. Autism is not physical nor retardation. Its an inability to process stimulus manifested by poor communication and social skills. Examples of autistic people include Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison. Bill Gates has a milder form in the Aspergers range of autism. Trying to make them fit some mold requiring the use of faculties they don't have is like requiring paraplegics to hike. The only thing they need is to be included in a way that is appropriate to who they are. Don't shout at someone who cannot process th
  13. I ask myself whether I should bring up my disappointment and as a service to scouting, I decided I should. I pretty much determined the disappointments were systemic, not unique. In the many situations where there are success stories, there is always someone going beyond or even tossing the program to do it. On the other hand, I don't agree that I have crossed paths with over a decade of jerks in scouting. The problem stems from an arrogance about the program itself often confused with "tradition". If its not in the tradition, its not part of the program. Its easy to ignore the kid that will n
  14. I attended what could be one of my last Eagle courts of honor this weekend. Today, my autistic son will be 18 and although I have kept him in scouts all this time, I can't say it has really been all that positive. My son did not make Eagle and yes, he could continue as a special case but the reality is, he could have made Eagle if scouting had given him a chance. Instead, he was different. In the last two years, unless I specifically asked, he got no help from anyone. I sould not have to ask! Prior to that, there were at least some boys who would work with him but they moved on and are n
  15. It sounds as if this kid has an emotional issue and his pace gives him power he feels he otherwise lacks. I am guessing mom probably doesn't help this issue as she doesn't understand or accept it herself. The kid needs to have some scout successes he has earned and get attention for acheiving, not attention for failing. He needs to equate attention with positive effort. Encouragement should be very limited as unlimited encouragement only rewards underachievement. An example could be two people assigned to accompany the kid on a hike and stay at the kid's pace letting the troop move on. Th
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