CCbytrickery

Sasha, you must have a very...non vivid...imagination. I envy you that. I truly do. See, I have a fertile imagination, and sometimes it leads me places I dread. I have had nightmares about my young child getting lost--at the zoo, the museum, when they're out with dad, pretty much any place I'm not--and being unable to get help because they don't know their name or address or phone number. If they can't tell the nice policeman "I'm A-- W-- and my daddy is L-- and my mommy is J-- and I know our number is 9-------- (including area code)", what happens? What if I am unconscious and the home phone isn't working? How is my 7 year old supposed to call for help on the cell, since it doesn't have a location associated with it in the 911 system? What if we are hit with a hurricane (we're in FL) and we get separated, for whatever reason? Who can they go to for help? My kids are prepared--not for everything that may happen--but they know not only the home numbers, but cell phones as well (well, not my husband's new one, we are learning that right now, it's only a few weeks old); the home address, including city and state; mom and dad full names; and their full names and birthdays. My oldest is 21, 2nd is almost 18 and 3rd is 7; and they've all been coached on these things since they were able to know what a number was. Also, they have a small, basic knowledge of first aid (how to stop bleeding using pressure, call 911 if it doesn't stop, etc) and the older ones can start a fire (which the 7 year old will be learning this year at our family campouts) if need be. They are also learning how to cook and clean house, and how to budget their money. Yes, at 7. Because these things take years to learn, and if you don't start young enough, you have 21 year olds in college running up $$$$$$$ in credit cards and eating nothing but ramen noodles and living in piles of garbage. Because someone else isn't doing it for them... The only reason, in my humble opinion, for a child not being able to recite where they live or their phone numbers is a disability. Otherwise, it shouldn't be an issue by no later than 1st grade. Just as they should know not to get in a strangers car or eat the black jelly beans... Sorry, I'll hop off the soapbox now.

We have a parent that does her cubs projects for him. Because she is "crafty" and he "doesn't do a good job". No problems with him, he is a great kid. The mom just feels that a 7 year old cannot do work to her crafty standards. For example: We made picture frames a few weeks ago. We used foam squares for the backs, and I had foam shapes for the fronts (with the centers cut out) along with tons of foam stickers to decorate them with. I had tons of pictures and had the boys each choose a favorite and walked them thru making them. She took his picture, said she didn't like it (it was one of him with a couple of our other scouts at a campout--in pjs eating smores) and found him one she liked better (of her and a couple of other moms sitting together at same campout, weaving plastic keychains). She didn't like the colors or the front shape he picked, so she picked new ones. She did let him glue the picture to the back frame, but then she glued the front on. She didn't like the stickers he picked out, so she picked out new ones and applied them herself. While he sat and watched everyone else make theirs mostly by themselves. We do have a boy who is on ADHD meds, and we have discovered that is he is given something specific to do, he does much better in meetings. So, for example, if he is in charge of making sure everyone signs in/out of the meetings, he focuses on that and is able to focus better on the rest of the meeting as well. It's fine if a child is guided, that's what we are supposed to do. Sometimes, we have to guide the parents along as well.

My .02 worth: 1. I would start with a serious discussion with the mother and daughter about why such language is prohibited and about needing to follow the troop rules. They both need to be made aware that such behavior is unacceptable, and that it will not be tolerated. Involve your council leaders if you need to do so, but make it clear that an apology is required for this child to allowed to do any more activities. In addition, this child and mother need to be made aware that rules are expected to be followed by everyone. There are no exceptions to the cell phone or improper shoes policies..if your daughter did not have the proper shoes (because she left them at home in her closet, for example), you would apply the same effect to her--no participation in that activity. If the child refuses to apologize, then she does not participate in any more activities until she does so. If she breaks another rule, then she is done with this troop. Put it in a contract, and get it signed by both of them. If they refuse, then the girl is done. Make sure they have a copy, a copy is sent to council and a copy for yourself. Use your council (if the area director won't help, you can always go above her). Rules exist for protection of not only the youth, but the leaders and the councils as well. If this child had dropped her phone in a lake, the mother may expect the troop to pay for a replacement. If this child had twisted her ankle on a hike, because she was wearing flipflops instead of tennis shoes, the mother may expect the troop to pay the doctor bill. Both situations are easily avoided by the parent/child following the rules. 2. If you lose the event director mom, well, someone else will need to step up. But so be it. You cannot allow this child and mother combo to dictate what can and cannot happen in the troop. 3. The co-leader would have a meeting with myself and the council contact, and made aware that rules must be followed. They are same for everyone, not just for daughters of non-leaders. Allowing the different rules for the leaders kids will cause nothing but problems down the road.

How to be quiet and sit still. What is your phone number? What are your parents names? (mom and dad don't count!!!) How to stay with the group and not wander off. That when you are told NO GUM that means NO GUM, not gum unless you get caught I think, though, I'm a bit more...shocked...that I have to teach parents that yes, when we say the boys need to look up information on an animal and make a project of some sort to present, that means that THE BOYS need to look up the information and make the project...not the parents. I don't care if Bobby's mom knows about the feeding habits of a koala bear, I want Bobby to know...

Our CM and upcoming Advancement Chair are married. I'm the new CC, married to the current Tiger/upcoming Wolf den leader. Sometimes you cannot avoid things like this, due to lack of volunteers. We have a system of checks and balances; the CC, CM and treasurer are all on the financials, with statements available to any committee member (DL/ADL) who requests. Any big purchases go through the committee. Same with the Advancement Chair, she has to work with either the treasurer or the CC to take care of what she needs.

We had 14 (well, at one point, we thought it would be more, we lost 2) Tigers. One DL, and one assistant, who is in the Navy and who is absent more often than not. Except at holidays, we never had less than 10 boys at a meeting; and I would never wish a 14 boy Cubaree with a new leader on anyone! We will potentially have 14 Wolves, IF we don't add any. We're telling any new adds that some parent needs to step up and lead a 2nd den, and we can split the boys in two. We'll still all work together, and stay on the same agenda, but this way there will potentially 4 leaders to help get things done (2 DL, 2 ADL). I volunteered a Tiger dad to jump in as ADL, as the current ADL will be shipping out and unavailable for most of the year next year. I do that a lot though; I was the VP of my daughter's band booster organization and after a year of asking for help/volunteers and not getting them, I just started telling people what they were doing. Most of the time they would do what I needed.

Ok, not totally new to reading the forums, but new to posting. Hi! My son is just finishing up his Tiger year. The husband was TDL this past year, and will be running the Wolf den next year. I And me? I am the new CC (by trickery, as you can tell from my name). See, the CM approached me at the next-to-last pack meeting and asked me to be Kitchen Coordinator on camp trips (in my former life, before stay at home mommy-ing, I ran restaurants). Sure, I say, no problem. Then he says, well, one less thing to worry about...now we need a secretary, CC and popcorn kernal... and then he gave me that look. You know the look. /sigh We really need you, he says. It's only one hour a month, he says. With our current CC leaving (her boy is moving to BS), we are lost, he says. /double sigh So here I am, the new CC and KC to boot. But that's ok, because I volunteered one of the other Tiger moms as secretary, and her husband to sign up to do either a 2nd Wolf den or to be the ADL to my husband. And I'm volunteering another mom to take over as popcorn kernal. If I have to work at this, by goodness, so do they! /evil chuckle