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Everything posted by 5scoutmom

  1. Just to respond to the Webelos at a Camporee issue - for some years, our district has invited 2nd year webelos to spend the day at camporee. They do not camp out with the scouts. Last year, they did a Jamboree where scouts and cubs both camped but the campgrounds were on opposite sides of the venue. Everyone was happy and the rules were not broken.
  2. UPDATE: The meeting to discuss my 2 youngest sons' return to the troop was held in early January. The meeting ended with the COR saying he would like to see all 3 boys back in. CC and ASM said they would get back to us. Three weeks later, having not heard back from them, we took the 2 youngest boys to another troop. Two of the 3 leaders know my expelled son from summer camp and the 3rd has only heard good things about them. My son is still not interested in being in a troop but is happy in the venture crew. We are hoping he will join this new troop. Today was scout sabbat
  3. I am the mother and OP on the other post being discussed here. To clarify, my son was willing to apologize for hurting "Person C's" feelings, although he expressed confusion about why C's feelings would be hurt by receiving an honest answer to a question he asked. What he was not willing to do was take back the opinion he expressed when one was demanded of him. He made the crack about washing the dishes to his brother (person B). Person C asked him what he said and he repeated it. Person C said "I gave that instruction. Don't you respect me?" My son said "No, I don't. Respect is ea
  4. Actually, I did not abandon the post. I slipped on the ice and hurt my hand and couldn't type for a couple of days... Moosetracker - THANK YOU! You have described my son in the way that I couldn't. He is not mouthy and is not rude. He does see being made to apologize for something he doesn't feel he did wrong as being hypocritical. He was willing to apologize for hurting the CC's feelings but was not willing to say he respects him as a Scouter because he doesn't. I can't force him to, not without going against the principles of honesty that Scouting puts forth. At this point,
  5. I can't do that though it might make me feel better. First of all, ASM's son would be delighted if he was thrown out of scouts. I've never met a boy who hates the program as much as this kid does. ASM loves it and he wants his son to, as well. I've known ASM for years. In many areas, I respect him. He has amazing scouting skills, which he willingly shares with the boys in the troop. He is an asset to the troop in many ways and has been an asset to my boys in the past. I just hate that he is allowing his pigue over a 15 year old boy's comment (that wasn't even directed to him, m
  6. I understand your analogy about the dog, but it is not totally apt to this situation. My youngest has been with his age cohort in the troop since Tigers. It's not just one friend, but closer to a dozen, that he has in the troop, along with some of the older boys (7th and 8th graders) that he's bonded with over the years in the pack and then the troop. My son does not do sports so Scouts is where he has his friends, his activities and his self-esteem (due to having 3 older brothers with the troop, he has a certain ability level and is respected by his age cohort). In addition, my fa
  7. WoW! Your posts really ring with me. Check out my post on appropriate discipline for another story of a dysfunctional troop. My H was an ACM and when our youngest son moved up to the troop last March, he decided to stay because all new leadership was taking over and were inexperienced. He also volunteered to lead the Webelos 2 den. In our pack, the Webelos den leader takes the boys to the local troops to visit. Due to the issues outlined in my thread, last week, my H informed the SM of our (currently former) troop that he was NOT bringing his Webelos to visit as long as the cur
  8. Here's another update on our ongoing situation: Scoutdad wants to be back in the troop because my youngest son wants to be. The pastor who runs the church where the troop meets has called a meeting between Scoutdad and I, SM, CC, ASM, the COR and the man I referred to in my earliest posts, who is a dad in the troop and a high-level volunteer at Council. We have asked for someone from Council to be in attendance as well. The meeting will take place in a couple of weeks. I am still outraged about how ASM spoke to my two boys, telling them they couldn't go camping because of how my o
  9. Scoutdad made the COR aware of the assault incident. I can't compel the parents to do anything. I did hear from one of my sons that SM and CC are questioning ASM's version of the incident (ASM's son is the attacker). Scoutdad and I are turning our back on this troop. Even SM, who we defended to Council when CC and ASM tried to get him removed, has not called us since (though I've seen him on Facebook playing games so I know he's not too busy). I am really hurt about that, I considered him a friend, but my kids come first.
  10. Scoutdad sent a letter to the minister who runs the church which is our charter org to let him know about the latest incident. We had met with him the day after we resigned but this letter was to let him know about the fighting incident. The attacked boy told my First Class son (not the one that was expelled) that the SM and CC did not seem to believe ASM's version when they discussed it at the last meeting (ASM is father of the attacker) but that nothing else has been done. I do not know what the attacked boy's parents have chosen to do. My expelled son was at his house tonight with
  11. We put our oldest son in as a Wolf when we moved to the suburbs. He stayed in for one year of BS, made tenderfoot and dropped out because the older boys in that troop were really mean. He later joined another troop (ironically, the one I just pulled my youngest boys out of) where he had fun and aged out as a First Class scout. At 20, he is now an active member of the VC his dad is the CA and I am the CC of and plans to become an adult leader when he turns 21 next year. Second boy began as a Tiger (I was the TL for him and my youngest boys), barely made it through cubs but became totall
  12. Hi, i's me, the OP with an not too happy update. In the 8 months since I last posted on this topic, my son decided not to rejoin the troop because he no longer respected the CC and the ASM and could not pretend. One of his "challenges" is a painful honesty that does not let him just suck it up or compromise. Scoutdad and I were fine with that and took over a dormant Venture Crew to have somewhere for him to go. Since then, CC and ASM have gone out of their way to be vile. Advisor has backed off, perhaps because he now has a Council position. They forced me to take my son home fro
  13. Shortridge - Our troop is chartered to a religious group (a church of a Protestant denomination); however, I don't believe we have any boys who practice that particular religion in the Troop; actually, I don't think we have any Protestants in our troop, but we do have Hindu and Buddhist boys. We have a mixed group but Jewish and Catholic are predominant. My son is Jewish but his father is Catholic and his last name is not at all Jewish-sounding. The summer camp is non-denominational. My understanding is that a different religious group offers the service each week and there is not
  14. 2cubdad - If they sent my district's ceremonial team out to kill me, I'd hear them a mile away and make a run for it! My son volunteers at camp to help run the new ordeals and he really enjoys it.
  15. The advisor was there. He asked if he could say something to us. We said he could. He apologized for issues in the past and said that he really, truly does want my son to do well. He said that the DE spoke with him after Scoutdad spoke with DE and asked him to really think about what his purpose was for attending the meeting. He told us that CC had called him all upset and wanting to expel son and he (confirmed by CC later on) told CC that was not appropriate. He said he has had several discussions with CC and that his goal is to retain boys in scouting. Based on that, we decided to let
  16. WOW! When my son was 11 and inducted into the OA for ordeal, I asked him how it went and what had happened when he returned from the weekend. He looked at me (in those days, he still looked UP to me!) and said, in his best Maverick voice, "I could tell you, Mom, but then I'd have to kill you!" I still have no clue what happened and he is now a Brotherhood member.
  17. I am sending three boys to camp this year. One will be staff and was a CIT last summer, the second will be a CIT this year and the third is going as a camper for either one or two weeks, depending on if our troop can get adult coverage for the second week. My oldest son, who's in college, interviewed but was not hired. We were told that jobs were offered first to younger (and cheaper) hires than to older teens who needed to be paid more. That's a cost cutting measure the camp is imposing. I have a dependent care account to which I put in enough to cover the youngest two weeks. I am p
  18. Scoutfish - Thank you. It was SO hard to learn what the leaders had to say and to realize that it was true. I AM proud that my son admitted it straight out when confronted and didn't try to blameshift or say the adults were framing him. When they told me what he had said, I knew they were telling the truth. The expressions, the vocabulary, the intonations were my son's. Scoutdad and I were mortified. To his credit, my son looked on the verge of tears for most of the time he was in the room. I do believe that he mouthed off without bad intent, but we are judged by our actions and ou
  19. Hi, all - It went much better than we could have hoped for and the sad reality was worse than we had imagined. We found out last night at the meeting that after he was told he was going home, my son went and told some of the older boys what was going on. The CC's son was there and he got very upset. This has spilled out of scouting and into their social circle. The other day, my son, CC's son and 4 other boys were hanging out playing a board strategy game. The CC's son accused my son of cheating. The other boys defended my son (one of these boys was on the trip, 2 others are in
  20. Hi, all - We are getting ready to go to the meeting, which may be very short because the "advisor" is apparently going to be there. My husband spoke with the DE today, who told him that we should go to the meeting and ask the "advisor" to leave. If he doesn't, the DE has told us that we should leave and contact him tomorrow. He will then deal with it. My husband will also contact the head of our chartered organization (not the COR who is still away but the cleric who heads the institution which charters the troop). I have read the links provided and believe that the only
  21. The "advisor" is the Advancement Chair for our district. I'm really confused now. Does the CC have the authority to discipline my son or not? If the only person who can impose discipline for his infraction is the SM, I am fine with that. He does not want the advisor there. If that is the case, this meeting is not necessary. All that is needed is for my son to say words to the effect of "I am very sorry that you felt disrespected by my comments. I did not mean for that to happen." Then, he has to learn to keep his mouth shut and reserve his true thoughts for the dinner table. A
  22. I don't have a speech but what I did with my own kids was tell them that cursing is a sign of a poor vocabulary and challenge them to find another way to express themselves, preferably with large, multi-syllabic words they did not know before. You could make it a contest or the subject of a skit. Ask the boys to come up with different ways to say the bad words and make a skit about it without using the bad words.
  23. Beavah - The CC is the allegedly aggrieved party. He was the person my son is alleged to have disrespected on the camping trip. The "advisor" is a committee member (as am I) and he is also holds a council position. He was not on the camping trip. My SM told me that the CC can unilaterally remove him from office and, in fact, the previous CC had removed this same SM with the support of the current CC and the "advisor." After an investigation into bogus allegations regarding matters outside of and unrelated to scouting, the SM was reinstated. However, he is concerned that he coul
  24. Acco - The CC who says my son disrespected him and the man that I can't stand are NOT the same person. I happen to like the CC and think that he does a great job with that. He was SM for one year and it is not his forte; he is much better with facts and figures and organization than with the boys, as this episode illustrates. That's why he stepped down after only one year as SM. The man I can't stand is another committee member who also holds a district position. This man was not even on the camping trip where the incident happened and has been brought into it by the CC. I just
  25. Scoutnut, When I said I didn't want anyone "punished," I did not mean that I don't want any discipline to be imposed. I have said from the beginning that my son owes an apology and should have a sanction of some sort. What I meant was that I did not want anything "punitive," like expulsion to happen to anyone involved. This is my son's first serious infraction. His first year at summer camp, he was 10 and refused to shower as often as the leaders told him to. That is now a non-issue; he showers at least once a day at this point. He also refused to go up to the altar for communion
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