sctmom

I bought my son the requirements book so he can look through it and get an idea of what the different badges are about. I think this will help him know more than just looking at the name. He seems more likely to go after one if he sees the requirements and thinks "that's not too hard, I can do that." Then when he chooses one to work on, he can borrow the troop copy of the MB booklet or I will buy some. I did buy him a copy of the First Aid booklet. That is a good one to have for himself.

I think US Scouting Service web site usually has the changes marked in red.

I agree that a reasonable bedtime and learning to get up even though you are tired should help. I need 8 to 10 hours of sleep myself. So many adults don't and seem to think everybody can live off 6 hours. My sister thinks sleeping over 8 hours is a sign of a problem...lol. On a recent school overnight field trip, the teachers told the kids to get in bed, they could talk for the next 30 minutes. Then the lights went off in the dorm. They could then whisper up until 11:00. It didn't take but about 10 minutes for at least one kid to tell the noisy ones to be quiet and go to sleep. Peer pressure at it's best! The kids were dragging in the morning, but then wondered why the adults laid down every chance we got -- we told them they could too. LOL. By the second night some of the boys were asking to go to bed before 9:00! The girls were going strong. It's only 2 days, they can live through it. I feel part of things like scouting is to teach kids how to live with other people, how to make those sacrifices like going to bed and getting up at the same time. I heard one mom saying her son didn't want to eat with the patrol because his parents always cooked such good food on cookouts, even some of the parents are concerned about the adult patrol cooking together. It's ONE weekend, get over it. Chippewa is right, at some point you have to go with the rest of the world. I know a mother like the one you are describing with your challenge scout. The kid now is living with father and step-mother, not on medication, has a regular bedtime, eats regular meals, he has put on healthy weight, passing grades in school and no temper tantrums. When I see him I can just tell he is calmer and happier. It continues to amaze me to see the parents who don't want their children to be independent.

Applause, applause. Thank you OGE.

Ooohhh, I like FScouter, how sneaky! The unexpected, calm punishment seems to really work the best. I know people who lower the volume of their voice to get kid's attention. When you have that "insane" type of calm, they perk up. Also, they have to get quiet to here what you are saying. I went on a school overnight field trip a few weeks ago. Of course some kids weren't real happy about waking up, but we had a cheerful morning mom who walked in the dorm, flipped on the lights and yelled "GOOD MORNING". She then kept talking, singing, etc. Annoy them so they get up and out of there! LOL

Sorry to jump off topic, BUT Mike said "Cumberland Island". Oooh, ooh, I want to go! I live in Georgia. I mentioned Cumberland to someone who is a ASM with a local troop and he said something about "too hard to get reseverations". Ah, the ferry ride over, the wild horses running through the marsh, the ruins of Carnegie homes, the solitude, the beaches, the LACK of civilization. If anyone has anyone to get your boys to this island off the southern coast of Georgia, by all means do so. At least for a day trip. You will all have the time of your life. They limit how many people go over each day. They were doing "leave no trace" before it was called that. You must carry everything in and out. There are no drink machines, no snack bars, just a few restrooms, the boat dock, some mansion ruins, and a beautiful island. There is a hotel but VERY expensive. Okay, back to our regularly scheduled program.

Ed, No, I don't take that as a shot. I'm just saying that from an 11 year old perspective, shoot even from my adult perspective, what's the difference? My son has TOLD me again and again he doesn't like eggs, but I refuse to fix him anything else. So, he "makes his point" by throwing them on the ground. Not that children should be treated exactly as adults, but Scouting is supposed to be "safe". Respect is a big thing to teach them. If a screw up at work, I don't do pushups. I don't have people throwing my work on the floor. People who do that at work are sent to the company "counselor" (therapist). If they can't learn to control themselves, they are fired. There is no excuse for it. I go with the theory of "okay guys rewash EVERYTHING in the cookbox, clean it completely out, wipe it down and restore. If I find another dirty dish after that, you will do it all again. Do you really want to spend all weekend washing dishes? I'll be over here relaxing while you do that, let me know when everything is clean." If need be the boys stand there and rewash the dishes all day. Or maybe they can rewash the dishes from every patrol including the adults. Sort of like the old trick of having to stand and shut the door until you can learn to do it without slamming the door. My mother didn't slam my hand in it to make her point, she made me stand there until I properly shut the door --- which is REALLY hard when you are mad. The teachers aren't throwing homework on the floor because it's unacceptable. (are they?) They have the kid redo it, and redo it, until it's clean and correct.

Ed, No, I don't take that as a shot. I'm just saying that from an 11 year old perspective, shoot even from my adult perspective, what's the difference? My son has TOLD me again and again he doesn't like eggs, but I refuse to fix him anything else. So, he "makes his point" by throwing them on the ground. Not that children should be treated exactly as adults, but Scouting is supposed to be "safe". Respect is a big thing to teach them. If a screw up at work, I don't do pushups. I don't have people throwing my work on the floor. People who do that at work are sent to the company "counselor" (therapist). If they can't learn to control themselves, they are fired. There is no excuse for it. I go with the theory of "okay guys rewash EVERYTHING in the cookbox, clean it completely out, wipe it down and restore. If I find another dirty dish after that, you will do it all again. Do you really want to spend all weekend washing dishes? I'll be over here relaxing while you do that, let me know when everything is clean." If need be the boys stand there and rewash the dishes all day. Or maybe they can rewash the dishes from every patrol including the adults. Sort of like the old trick of having to stand and shut the door until you can learn to do it without slamming the door. My mother didn't slam my hand in it to make her point, she made me stand there until I properly shut the door --- which is REALLY hard when you are mad. The teachers aren't throwing homework on the floor because it's unacceptable. (are they?) They have the kid redo it, and redo it, until it's clean and correct.

Our pack has a bridge. We use bits and pieces of different ceremonies found in the "Ceremonies for Packs and Dens" book. The ceremony I like the best for the Arrow of Light is where the boys are lighting 7 candles as the Cubmaster (or other emcee) reads what each ray on the Arrow stands for. Such as wisdom and then what wisdom means, bravery and what that means. If you just so happen to have EXACTLY 7 boys this is a good one. It's not too long but not too short. I think you can also find in on the link you were given above.

Ed, Since you agree this is a way to make a point, let me ask you this question. My son has a problem with his anger. He will kick his bookbag, tried to deflate his basketball because it was not going in the hoop, throws things across the room, destroys his homework because it becomes "too hard". His teachers and I constantly have to be on the lookout and try to teach him why this wrong. Say he goes on a campout, he helps with cleanup, and the scoutmaster comes over and throws the dishes in the dirt. The kid then comes home, isn't happy with supper and throws it on the floor. What's the difference? What "point" has been made by throwing things on the ground? Why not just make the boys take everything out of the cookbox and rewash it, whether it's been used or not?

Been trying to stay out of this one, but enough is enough. What ever TJ and NJ are, guess you can say I'm one too (except I think they are male, and I am female).

If while on a campout, I see the leader's doing things like throwing dishes on the ground or barking at the kids like drill sergeants, how do I approach this? I'm a mom, I'm the new kid on the block, and I don't like confrontations. Do I wait until a committe meeting to bring it up? Do I anonymously contact the District? How many other scouts are being scared away by these seemingly "harmless" techinques that are only approriate at Boot Camp?

"I'm not certain I agree with what you may have meant by "ALL" options, but I'll let it rest. " Sorry, I should have been more specific. Options of adoption and raising the child themself (they need lots of emotional support for both of these). Boys also have to make these choices, when talking about unplanned pregnancy, they need to be supported in being a father if the child is not adopted. Help these unplanned parents stay in school and to not have more children until they can support them. If they choose to keep the child, then help them with parenting skills. Doing these things does not send a message of "it's okay to do what you want." These things help break the never ending cycle of poverty and child abuse.

You can buy the Merit Badge pamphlets at your local Council or Scout Shop. I would recommend you first check with the troop, they should have a complete set of all booklets. Or maybe another scout who has earned this badge. Also, check the public library and the school library. They books costs 3 to 4 dollars. It can get expensive if you buy every one your son works on.

Tattooed Tents?!?!?!? Oh no, see how far our society has declined! (sorry, just couldn't resist)

Do you have a copy of the Merit Badge phamplet? Can you borrow a copy from the library or the Troop? These are answered in the MB booklet. You are right on target for both questions. But I suggest getting the MB booklet to read a paragraph about each one.

Rooster, I meant things like staying in school, not getting married early, not doing drugs, if one is pregnant exploring ALL options, how to NOT get pregnant, getting out of abusive situations, getting a decent job, and all those things others have listed as being part of a traditional family --- that you can do that even if you have never been in one. I was not even thinking of the other topics that have been beaten to death on this board.

My son hasn't hit the age where the other kids pick on him about what he wears. He just crossed over from Cubs this week. Since I can afford it, I bought the "missing" parts of his uniform. This morning he decided to wear his uniform to school. He was about as official BSA as one can get. Pants, shirt (with proper insignia), bolo tie (troop option), hat, belt, and socks. He said he just wished they had official shoes! LOL He did look sharp, I'm not just saying that because I'm his mom. He looks much younger than he is, but in uniform he looked older and more mature. As I drove away from the school, I saw one of his teachers smiling and talking to him as she looked him over from head to toe. I happen to also see he removed his hat before going in the doors. PROUD, SMILING MOM HERE (I know that any day now he will be embarrased to let other know he is in scouting, so I'm enjoying this while I can.)

Yes, many single moms or unprepared parents, live in poverty. They see no way out. A few exceptional ones will make it out, will see a way to end the cycle, it doesn't continue "In the Ghetto." Those of us fortunate enough to know we have choices, should be willing to spend our time helping others see there are choices. Helping them reach those choices. I'm sure most of us know of some point where we could have made a choice that would have ended us on a dead end, but we were able to choose wisely. Many kids do not even know they have a choice beyond their neighborhood. They don't know what a "normal" family looks like. I have a very close friend in her 50's who still fears family get togethers, even with other families, because she doesn't know what "normal" looks like. Her family was abusive - emotionally and physically. She is very smart, graduated college, did graduate work in Psychology but still didn't know about "normal" / "traditional" parenting skills. She knows her child suffered because of it. I agree with those of you who comment on what TV shows as families. Most show parents as blubbering idiots and kids as SOOO smart. Actions happen without consequences. Even the show "Real Life" is NOT real. So, I challenge all of us to reach out and find ways to offer choices. Many young women who become pregnant don't know they have choices. The same with people in domestic violence situations. A quote I just read: "If you care for your own children, you must take an interest in all, for your children must go on living in the world made by all children."

These are a few answers I've heard of locally, not all from the same troop. 1) Throw the cookware on the ground, so the scouts have to pick it up and then wash it. 2) Really haven't heard much about this one. I was mainly referring to mishandling the tent, because I do know some tents should just be stuffed the same as some sleeping bags. 3) As one of you mentioned --- drop the tent (and hope you don't have a claustrophic kid who goes into an asthma attack or tries to rip the tent to get out?) Threaten (and I guess follow through on this) to pick up the sleeping bag or pour water on the kid's head. What if you, as a parent or committe member or ASM, see one of the above and feel it is wrong? What do you do? How do you approach the subject? I struggle every day with teaching my son that throwing things when you are mad is NOT the right thing. Yet, he's going to see the Scout leaders doing this? I'm a bit claustrophic, you pull a tent down on me and you will see what a REAL anxiety attack is all about. Then you will never see me again. Also, much of this falls into the category of "being a bully". Because I'm bigger, older or higher rank, than YOU, I can do absurd things. Things that a kid would never get away with at home. Now, let's remember I'm talking about Boy Scouts, not Boot Camp.

My own story of wet tent put away : Drove about 4 hours with dear hubby, who had swore he aired the tent out after the last campout. Set up the tent with nylon sides and canvas roof, but AH-HA NO ROOF! Gather all belongings, put back in car as quickly as possible, do not make eye contact with any other campers who are laughing at us, drive 4 hours home and collapse. I do like the above responses. Just I've heard of others that aren't so nice. I will wait until others respond before I elaborate.

Know what I think God intended for me and a few others I know? That I would not get pregnant even after trying for a number of years, medical doctors have no reason as to why. That young lady would make a "choice" one night about a young man, end up pregnant, realize she could not take care of the child and tell a few relatives. The right people talked to the right people at the right time and 2 months later I'm changing diapers on MY son! Believe me, there have been days why I have flat our asked God why he sent me THIS child. The answer is "There is a reason". I may not know the reason, something about the 2 of us needing each other. Me making a difference in his life and him making a difference in his life. I have access to doctor's, books, counselor's, etc., that his biological parents do not have and they most likely would have a hard time coping with some of his problems. If the young woman and young man had lived by "what God intended" then I would not have a child. And I would be missing out on some very important lessons about life. What God intends is often not what we expect. Did God intend for my sister and her kids to go through the pain of watching my brother-in-law die? I hope not. Since then my sister has found another man to marry, she is happier than she has ever been in her life. Our family quit trying to guess what God intended.

A couple of hypothetical situations, but I know these do happen very often. I'd like you know how you would handle these. A) After dinner clean up, you inspect the cooking gear and find dishes with food stuck on them. What do you do? B) While breaking camp you notice a patrol just stuffing tents in bags instead of packing them properly, mishandling the tent poles, etc. When and how do you handle it? C) One or two of the boys just don't wake up in the morning, no matter how hard their buddies try to wake them up. You know they went to sleep as soon as the lights went out last night, but they just can't seem to get out of bed. Or they get up and just aren't morning people, can't move until they've eaten and sat there for 30 minutes. How do you get them up?

Sorry for such long posts, but I thought of something else. Do some of you wonder why there are those books that seem to "advocate non-traditional" families? Like one I read of a single mom? Because kids are much more sensitive to this than others. If the only stories the kid hears is the two-parent model, they very quickly question what is wrong with their family. They feel less loved, feel something is wrong with them, etc. My son is adopted. He knows this. There are about 3 or 4 books that tell "how you were born" story for adopted children. Children in the non-traditional family need more assurance than anyone that they are okay and the family they have is okay. It may not have been by choice of the adults involved. My sister became single because of her husband's death. Sometimes divorce is better in the long run. The children in all these situations NEED stories that calm their fears and worries. They don't need society telling them their family is not the best, is somehow lacking.

TV doesn't show "normal" families because they are boring. I don't watch much TV at all because most of the shows (especially sitcoms) are so absurd. A show I have started watching is called "Brothers Garcia" on Nickolodeon, Sunday evenings. Two parents, 4 kids, Hispanic American family, middle class, hard working parents, kids that get in trouble, parents are shown as wise and loving, kids go to school. To me it is a great show and my 10 year old loves it to (maybe because of the way it deals with the short kid in the family and addresses issues about being short). They make mistakes but they love each and don't try to tackle every political issue out there in the world. I highly recommend it, truly family TV. Most families I know in our area do have mom & dad with more than one child. Some don't but the majority do. Yes, it is the best situation to have -- mom and dad in a healthy relationship. But sometimes people make mistakes and we all do the best we can with what we have. Put yourself in their shoes before condemning them. None of us truly know what we would do until put into certain circumstances. Based on the other posts, I think we agree that values include at a minimum belief in a higher power, respect, and unconditional love. Brad, I didn't mean to attack you, I take "extended family" to mean those you don't live with you and are not immediate family by law. Like my son's grandparents don't live with us, therefore they are extended family. The child who is being raised by his grandparents, for whatever reason, has a much closer relationship with his grandparents than "extended family." Also, note I do not refer to "blood" relatives. I have quite a few close relatives who are not "blood" kin, they are kin legally. I have one nephew who is neither, but he was raised by my brother and his last name was changed to our family name, but he was never legally adopted by my brother. He's still my brother's kid. So, I take it rather personally when I hear remarks like I did a Cub Scout Leader training a couple of years ago of "only blood relatives can sleep in a tent with a youth." Yikes!! I know what they meant but it is not what was said at all.