MomToEli

No, we haven't lost anyone, but I know everyone was really upset about it Saturday. They were trying very hard to do good and even the Webelos who went with us were pulling their weight.

He is one of my lads who hasn't done a pull-up yet so he is still a Scout. He and the other boy both crossed into the Troop almost a year ago now and neither of them seem to mind not having advanced. That may well change now that more boys are coming in who may well pass them up. Nothing like a little peer pressure to get you off dead center. But Scout Spirit is the next bridge I have to cross with him.

No ... not lost. Uninterested, actually. He simply ignores what is said. If I ask him if he heard me he will say yes, but then continue to not do as instructed - I'm talking about things like. Mind you - eventually he does comply when he realizes I am not going to back down. I don't raise my voice. I just repeat the request and eventually he will do as asked. Honestly - and don't take this wrong - he reminds me of my Chocolate Lab when she is standing down by the burn pile and I'm calling her in. She will stand and look at me with that "make me" look on her face - eventually she will decide I mean business and come in the house :-) The bigger problem is trying to teach the SPL how to deal with it. I would say it is very possible he could be diagnosed, but mom and dad have opted for no meds - which I don't fault at all. But it does seem to get worse when he gets tired.

I have two boys who can't do a pullup to save their lives. Do I think they are practicing? Not really, and neither of them really claim they are trying really hard and just can't get it. We take the pullup bar every couple of weeks and they try again. Do I withhold Tenderfoot until they do ONE pullup, or do I award the rank and move forward?

I have asked him if he likes Scouts and he tells me that he does part of the time, though he can't tell me what part he does not like beyond it is hard. I know last summer he complained he wasn't used to walking, which is very possible in this day and age (we already have a plan to prepare better for this summer by beginning a regular hiking program as soon as the new boys cross over in a week). I am going to take the idea of putting him in charge of something and running with that. I have been thinking about that for ALL of the boys, actually. We are a small troop - rebuilding from a big mess about 3 years ago, finally having aged those out who weren't inclined to change (youth and adults both), and we will be doubling at cross-over. We have been implementing the patrol method as we could get transitioned, which is why I didn't go on the Klondike trail with the boys in the first place - I want them turning to the SPL for leadership rather than me. Anyway, that process will get smoother as we go. Back to this scout ... I have talked with Dad to make sure there is nothing going on with the other boys that I am not aware of, and Dad reassures me there is nothing on that front. I have taken to telling him that I can only listen to him if he stops crying as I can't understand him. I do think he is starting to realize that tears don't move me much. Ok ... this gives me a couple of ways to go with this. Basementdweller, sorry you have to deal with one, too, but glad I'm not alone!

Eating is another issue, though Dad is the first one to say he eats what is presented or he goes hungry - just like at home (he doesn't like peanut butter along with everything else). And yes, he helps plan the meals. Makes for a long week of summer camp when you have a youth that won't eat the food.

I have a young man in our troop who ... well, the best way i can say this is he is uncooperative. It isn't an issue of not hearing. He can be down right defiante. The way I have dealt with it is to make sure I have eye contact with him before I give him an instruction, and at that I may have to tell him something more than once. Dad is active - stays for meetings and camps with us when he can. And, Dad can be pretty harsh but it is voice only - I've never seen him make a move towards this kid. And the kid really likes having Dad around. We have taken him to summer camp without Dad, and while he did get a little homesick he did overall well. I noticed that he preferred to do things on his own - took different Merit Badges than the other boys, for instance. He is a great one for dragging his feet and lagging way behind and I finally told him that if he continued to do that he would be sitting out with me and another leader while the boys went swimming or whatever else was coming up. I also told him he would have to listen to one of the other boys walk along side him and tell him his "water lecture"! haha - that is almost as bad as water boarding according to the rest of the boys :-) Anyway, he finally picked the pace up. He has to be rode constantly to help with anything - cooking, cleaning, packing up, setting up - when we go camping. Now, he says he likes Scouts and always wants to go camping. But he just doesn't want to DO anything. This past weekend was the Klondike and he was so uncooperative with the other boys (small enough troop they went as one patrol). This was an issue at every single station. No matter what the patrol was attempting to do he would either do nothing or actually work in a counter productive way. As a result this group of boys who normally would at least make an honorable showing of things didn't place in a single event, and to a boy they blame this one boy. (We have talked about how winning isn't the only goal, that they are learning to work as a team, etc. and I've taken the time to let them know how proud I am of them and proud to be their Scoutmasters.) Talking to this youth yields nothing positive. He cries and says everyone is being mean to him. I have seen his behavior and have no doubt the other boys are telling the truth. But, I don't know how to teach them to handle it. I don't let them bully each other. They are trying to figure out how to deal with this - frankly they are to the point they'd rather he just stay home. Please - how do I teach them how to illict cooperation from him when even I can not?

I like the idea of the campsite. Maybe we will do that sometime this spring. The brain is working :-)

We always gave everyone a "I Did My Best" award. It was a Hot Wheels car hot glued onto a piece of wood with a paper label glued to the front. The kids loved them, though often they would twist the car off the piece of wood and play with the cars. We still have two or three of them from my son's years in the Pack.

Where can I find the details on that poll, MattR? This is the first I have heard of one.

That flies in the face of National Camp Standards which state (unless changed for this year - I haven't seen the new camp standards yet) youth must be registered members of the BSA. Siblings are certainly welcome at Family Camp, specifically mentioned within those Camp Standards, so perhaps they are changing to Family Camps.

Ours did, too. One area Troop apparently wrote a letter to National in support of the change and that information, along with the unit number, was also on the news. Nothing like sticking your kids right out in front. Maybe that is less risky if you are taking the PC position?

Just know that I've been hearing these exact same comments from people on "the other side". Long time Scouters who are ready to immediately tender resignations if they vote to change. They were ready yesterday but now will wait and see. I have never met a person outside of the Boy Scouts who looked down on me, as an adult, for being involved in Scouts. I have never met a single person, adult or youth, who have complained about the membership policies (though I realize there have been those in different parts of the country) of the Boy Scouts. My son has several years of fundraising under his belt, being one of the top popcorn sellers in the Council for all of Cub Scouts and the first year of Boy Scouts, going door to door to residences and businesses, most of whom we don't know, and never once has anything said they wouldn't buy popcorn or whatever because they disagree with any part of the Boy Scout organization or program. All of that to say what you claim is totally contrary to my personal experience. (Which does not negate YOUR personal experience one bit.)

Quite simple, actually. I don't believe that we represent a fair snapshot of Scouting in general. There are many people who don't get involved with any type of online forums for a variety of reasons - ranging from limited time to limited comfort with technology to whatever - and of those who do there is a really small percentage that engage in these types of conversations for a variety of reasons - the two biggest that come to mind are, again, limited time and then I've found even in real life few people have the stomach for any sort of controversy or debate. This board alone boasts something like 1400 active members and there are perhaps a dozen of us in this conversation?

Maybe they are counting on the 1400 who are involved in the Annual Board meeting to represent the masses.