Emotional Support for Kids Who Need It

[Beavah 205]

In da parent thread, we were trippin' over definitions of "bullying", but in the process we got to talking about kids in a troop who might not be deliberately targeted for mean-ness, but who might be in a place where they feel disconnected as friendships naturally change, etc.

 

I think all of our scouts need extra emotional support and attention at some time or another during their careers, even our very best and most well-adjusted. I think the extroverts get it a bit more often by seeking it out, but that we as scouters can miss the needs of the quieter lads.

 

So ... what are some good ideas for helpin' all of us within our units be alert to the emotional needs of our scouts on a regular enough basis to catch changes and issues (and what tricks are there to respond to needs, too)?

 

Here's some things I've seen:

 

-- Regular, scheduled SM conferences with every boy regardless of advancement, so that no lad "slips through the cracks."

 

-- PL/Scouter meetings where they sit and talk about each kid in the patrol, and where he's at, how he's doing, and what he needs "next." Not just about advancement. In smaller troops, this might be done by all the scouters and SPL... but it carefully talks about every kid.

 

-- SPL evaluates the PL's once a quarter by asking him to name every boy in his patrol, their rank, the things they're good at, what they've been up to in the troop and outside it for the last 3 months, and why they're cool. And their phone numbers. All from memory. SM has the SPL and ASPL do the same for the PL's. No credit for POR unless they can do it.

 

-- SM (of a smaller troop) conducts private "parent conferences" much like a school would once every 6 months, so that parents can report on what their kid is thinking/feeling/needing. That SM (a school teacher, can you tell? ) also would ask to be invited to IEPC meetings for the boy at school, so that his scoutin' life could support his school life and vice versa.

 

------

 

Now, for any of these things, the key I reckon is follow up, eh? Here's some things I've seen:

 

-- One scouter who the boy seems to like gets assigned to follow-up.

 

-- The PL comes up with specific things to do in the next month to support the boy, in a sort of punch-list. Sometimes that can be "help him finish knots requirement for FC"; sometimes it can be "ask him if the patrol can come and cheer for him at his red belt test"; sometimes it can be "ask him to be unofficial troop photographer, since he's really good at that."

 

-- The parent gets an assignment from the SM designed to quietly help the boy in Scouting.

 

-- An older scout gets tasked out as "extra hands" for a PL who is struggling with how to help a particular lad.

 

-- Once I heard that a unit (the schoolteacher again) set up an appointment with the school counselor and parents for an evaluation. Had another unit who had the church youth minister "drop by" in a way that allowed for a conversation.

 

Well, that's enough to prime the pump anyway! What have you done in your units or seen done that catches those lads who need some extra support without lettin' 'em slip through the cracks, and what has worked for follow-up when yeh do catch it?

 

Beavah

 

[MissingArrow 12]

Beavah Said:

"SPL evaluates the PL's once a quarter by asking him to name every boy in his patrol, their rank, the things they're good at, what they've been up to in the troop and outside it for the last 3 months, and why they're cool. And their phone numbers. All from memory. SM has the SPL and ASPL do the same for the PL's. No credit for POR unless they can do it. "

 

That seems overboard to me, especially the phone numbers from memory. Kids have more important things that they have to memorize for school to waste time and brain space keeping track of something that is readily available on paper near a phone, or programmed in a cell phone.

 

Help your Scouts become resourceful, don't force them through extra pointless hoops.

 

[Bob White 20]

Knowing the needs and characteristics of the scouts in the troop is the Scoutmasters respponsibility. The Committee should be testing the Scoutmaster.

 

The Scouting program, at every program level is designed to help give youth emotional and social support, that is why it is imporant for a leader to know and use the "program". The elements of scout have an interconnected purpose. Adventure and advancement fopr instance help toi develope a youths self-reliance and self-esteem, but only work when done correctly. Patrol Method helps to develop team work and other social skills. The uniform plays a role in developing self esteem and good grooming habits.

 

All the parts of the scouting program help to develop scouts mentally and emotionally IF you follow the program.

[Stosh 3452]

A hammer doesn't work on all nails. Sometimes special needs need something more than by the book BSA. The program doesn't work for everyone.

 

Patches are a staple of the BSA program, but where in BSA literature do we find any where where sewing is taught?

 

It's nice to think that if we follow the instructions everyone will be successful in the program, but for some reason I have always felt that one-size-fits-all kind of scouting isn't all that productive.

 

Stosh

[Beavah 205]

Yah, let's not get too distracted, eh?

 

We're talkin' about extra support needed by individual boys on occasion, eh? Not just the regular supports offered by "the Program".

 

MissingArrow, good comments, eh? These are all just different ideas, with their pluses and minuses. That could be a real minus, dependin' on how it was implemented. Yah, what I remember as da sense of it was not a memorization task, but a knowledge and performance task - you should know your patrol members well, and you should be communicating with 'em frequently enough to know their phone numbers (these days, maybe yeh should just have their numbers in your cell phone? ).

 

Anybody else got additional ideas or things they do along these lines?

 

Beavah

 

[Bob White 20]

"We're talkin' about extra support needed by individual boys on occasion, eh? Not just the regular supports offered by "the Program".

 

No you're not. All the examples you gave Beavah are regular elements in Scouting?

 

>Scoutmaster conferences

>Coaching and mentoring from the Scoutmaster

>SM sharing concerns with parents.

>SPL coaching PLs

 

There is nothing outside of the scouting program in any of those things. All are existing elements of Scouting.

 

The only thing you mentioned that is outside of scouting was setting up counseling for the scout and that is WAY out of line for a scout leader to do. Informing scouts and/or parents of available resources is one thing, but arranging the counceling session is another thing entirely.

(This message has been edited by Bob White)

[Lisabob 13]

With respect Bob, I would say that while those may be a part of scouting, the way they are used can vary widely. Despite the fact that lots of people here tout holding SM conferences and BORs for non-advancement purposes, I know of rather few instances where that actually happens in most units. We get posters here on a regular basis who talk about problems even getting advancement BORs and SM Conferences scheduled, let alone doing "extra" ones!

 

I think the types of things Beavah suggests in his initial post are heavily dependent on the personality of the SM. We had one SM who was great at certain things, very enthusiastic, but he didn't seem to "get" when kids were having a hard time socially or emotionally. Personally I found that frustrating to watch. He probably would not have succeeded in doing most of the things Beavah suggests, because they didn't fit his personality or style very well. Kids having a tough time might have viewed an extra conference as being "lectured," coming from him. On the other hand, another SM I know could probably pull off the tactics Beavah lists with great success and does a good bit of this intuitively already.

 

One thing I wish we had happen more is for the SM or someone who reports to the SM to sit down with each new scout's parents and really talk about how the program can help that individual child, from their parents' perspectives. Same thing with Webelos DLs. Even if they aren't joining the troop along with their boys, they know those boys better than most other adults - so why is there so little communication there? I know for a fact our troop has lost boys over things that could have been better handled, if our SM, or someone the SM listens to, had done these rather simple things.

 

 

[Beavah 205]

There is nothing outside of the scouting program in any of those things. All are existing elements of Scouting.

 

Yah, fine, whatever! Can't say anybody cares what yeh call it. We're just tryin' to help each other do things better for kids, eh? Folks often need specific examples and ideas of ways to implement things. None of what I listed are specifically enumerated in the program materials.

 

So what specific examples do you have to share, that help folks within their units be alert to and respond appropriately to da emotional needs of their scouts on a regular basis?

 

(pretty insulting crack towards another forum member, leastwise to me, OGE)

 

Nice addition, Lisabob! Conduct a joining SM conference (different from a general orientation for all parents at once) with each new scout's parents, just to talk about their boy.

 

I'm curious if you have any ideas that would have worked for the old SM you mentioned? I agree that what I suggested works to support certain kinds of SMs. How do we help da rest?

 

Beavah

(This message has been edited by Beavah) (This message has been edited by a staff member.)

[Bob White 20]

I believe that I did but you discounted it as not being "outside" of the program.

 

The BSA program itself is filled with element that when followed contribut to the wellness of youth mentally as well as physically. Of course it relys on the leader knowing and using the scouting program.

 

Just look at the Methods used in the three traditional programs,most have a direct effect on a youths self-esteem and self-confidence both of which are major contributors to a youths ability to deal with social situations.

 

In a unit where leaders understand and use the scouting methods the individual youths are being observed and evaluated for both strengths and needs, and then the various Methods are applied to help the scout grow and develop into a healthy individual.

 

But keep in mind Scout leaders are not trained to be social workers or to be able to solve any and every mental health situation. It is important for leaders, parents, teachers, etc. to know when a problem is beyond their area of expertise and to refer the individual to resources that are better suited to help them. Since we work with OTHER PEOPLE'S children is is important that we turn to the parent or guardian to determine the next step. We can certainly assist them by informing them of community resources that have more knowledge in this are than we do. But every case is not for us to resolve.

 

The best thing we cn do to help scouts grow emeotionally is to know and follow the scouting program.

(This message has been edited by Bob White)

[Beavah 205]

Yah, to be clear, there was nuthin' in my earlier message that I recall intending even as a wisecrack, let alone an insultin' one. But I apologize if I inadvertently offended anyone by typin' fast. I reckon bein' called "insulting" in public is a bit insulting though, eh?

 

 

In a unit where leaders understand and use the scouting methods the individual youths are being observed and evaluated for both strengths and needs, and then the various Methods are applied to help the scout grow and develop into a healthy individual.

 

Certainly, BobWhite, if the leaders do an exceptional job using the program, supplementing it with techniques they develop that expand on and help deliver what is in the BSA documents. That's why the BSA is encouraging capable and talented folks to continue to assist in developin' supplementary training and program modules (see NeilLup's thread)! We reckon there's a lot of great wisdom out there.

 

If the BSA recognizes the value and need for that, I reckon we discussion forum participants should as well, provided we have actually used the program well in a particular area and can discuss the specifics of how that worked.

 

With respect to the Scouter who arranged for the meet-up with the school counselor, I don't have any problem with it. As I mention, the scouter in question was a professional school teacher, and had those contacts. What a great value to bring to a scouting program! What a fantastic thing to do for a lad and a set of parents! So often with folks there's a fear of approaching a counselor for assistance (and it's hard to identify good ones, eh?). It really helps when a friend and trusted adult helps to bridge the gap.

 

I don't see that as bein' any different than a physician helping with First Aid or an auto mechanic rebuilding a troop trailer. The adult brought her talents and expertise to the program, to the benefit of the kids.

 

I think we've probably gotten a bit hung up on particulars, so let's keep this thread goin' on those for whoever is interested, and I'll start another for the main topic.

 

Beavah

 

[Bob White 20]

There have always been volunteers involved in the development of scout training courses. As an example there were 50 volunteers invoved in the development of Wood Badge for the 21st Century.

 

This is not something the BSA suddenly decided to do.

 

It would not be needed for someone to do am exceptional job as a program leader just to follow the prgram Methods. They are not that difficult to do. But you have to know what they actually are, and as we know the vast majority of leaders are untrained. If parents want scouting to be able to help the children grow in healthy ways they need to demand that scout leaders get trained and follow the training.

 

The reason things like Scoutmaster conferences and Scoutmaster giving individual coaching and mentoring sound so new and groundbreaking to some people is that they are unaware what the scouting program elements and Methods actually are.

 

Consider the Methods of Boy Scouting for instance . What methods do not address a scout's healthy mental or emotional development?

 

 

 

 

[Beavah 205]

There have always been volunteers involved in the development of scout training courses. As an example there were 50 volunteers invoved in the development of Wood Badge for the 21st Century. This is not something the BSA suddenly decided to do.

 

Of course not, eh? But there's a difference. As yeh mention, WB21C was developed, like much of the BSA materials, in a very large-group, committee-style way, eh? That approach gets yeh lots of varied input so as to catch problems, but it also gets yeh mediocre results almost all the time. Committees just aren't very good at writin' program. That takes writers, because good written materials have a voice, not a babble of voices.

 

I reckon that's why the Bill Hillcourt materials are still treasured by so many folks, and still do (IMO) the best job of layin' out the Scouting Program. Not just because of Bill's expertise, but because they were the work of an author, not of a committee. They speak in his voice, they don't read like a manual.

 

NeilLup's supplementary module crew is lookin' more for authors than committee members, as I understand that program initiative. That recognizes that individual Scouters have ways of doin' things that may be valuable... perhaps not to everybody, but to many folks.

 

I reckon Scoutin' is richest when it's more like a wiki than a tome of revealed knowledge.

 

Consider the Methods of Boy Scouting for instance . What methods do not address a scout's healthy mental or emotional development?

 

Wasn't the question, eh? We all believe Scouting helps kids' emotional development.

 

The question involved when "scouts need extra emotional support and attention... what are some good ideas for helpin' all of us within our units be alert...and what tricks are there to respond to [such] needs?"

 

It's not a value of Scoutin' question, it's an enactment of Scoutin' question. Like sharing Dutch Oven recipes. Cookin' basics may be in the Handbook, cookin' techniques in IOLS, patrol cookin' in WB. But yeh won't find a raft of good Dutch Oven recipes in the SM Handbook, nor even a set of good winter campout menu plans in G2SS.

 

Scoutin' is like cooking. It's worth sharin' recipes and techniques, especially when dealin' with odd ingredients.

 

Beavah

 

 

[Bob White 20]

Of course not, eh? But there's a difference. As yeh mention, WB21C was developed, like much of the BSA materials, in a very large-group, committee-style way, eh?

 

Whoa Beavah, Where did I say it was done in a committee like way?

 

All I said was that it was done largely by BSA volunteers. You made the incorrect assumption as to how it was done.

 

I appreciate you want to share recipes, but given the multitude of scenariors and the varied ways that each could be addressed isn't the premise too vague? It doesn't even take in the huge variety of causes for a similar emotional response that a scout might have. So just saying "I had an upset scout and this is what I did" will not help another scout unless he has the same cause to the same problem, and has the same response to the same applied 'remedy'.

 

At least a food recipe can be repeated over and over because all the ingredients can be controled to be the same every time. Dealing with indivudual characteristics and individual situations is not going to work like that. You rarely have the same ingredients, so what you need is an arsenal of usable tools that can be applied as needed...hence the Methods of Scouting.

 

You will not find how to deal with scouts in the G2SS, or a dutch oven cookbook, because that is not what they are designed to do. You will find the skills you need to apply in the Methods of Scouting because that is what they are designed to affect.(This message has been edited by Bob White)

[Beavah 205]

At least a food recipe can be repeated over and over because all the ingredients can be controled to be the same every time. Dealing with indivudual characteristics and individual situations is not going to work like that.

 

Hey, hoorah! That's a first. I thought yeh to be an advocate of the McDonald's Franchise model of Scoutin', where the point was to do exactly what you say can't be done. I'm sorry I misunderstood yeh before. I agree with this completely.

 

You will find the skills you need to apply in the Methods of Scouting because that is what they are designed to affect.

 

Yah, I wouldn't call the Methods "skills" exactly. I reckon a scouter needs far more than 8 skills in his "arsenal of usable tools."

 

That's what I reckon folks should share, eh? Their own recipes or usable tools for implementing the Methods or enacting the Program. In this case, their own tricks and techniques for developin' a unit culture or institutional habits that keep kids from fallin' through the cracks, or ensure response with a range of appropriate supports. Preferably somethin' that can even help Lisabob's old SM who wasn't a "natural" at this sort of thing, eh?

 

All of da things I suggested are part of the Methods, sure... but not one appears in a piece of literature or in a training syllabus. Ain't enough to say "follow the Methods". We have to give folks tools and ideas and examples and inspiration to improve their Scoutin' every day. To share "Patrol Method" recipes and safe "Outdoor Method" outing plans.

 

Yeh know - be Helpful! I thought your suggestion in the sequel thread was a fine example of that.

 

Beavah

[Bob White 20]

"Hey, hoorah! That's a first. I thought yeh to be an advocate of the , where the point was to do exactly what you say can't be done. I'm sorry I misunderstood yeh before. I agree with this completely."

 

HWy can you not discuss a point I raise without distroring in in your repost?

 

Where did I say that the training Development was done by committee discussion? Where did I say tat I support some kind of franchise model of delivering scouting?

 

I used the word method because saying using "the method of the Methods" sounded a bit awkward.

 

But as I tried to explain since every situation is different then every response is unique. What remains constant are the tools, observation, evaluation, empathetic communication, coaching, mentoring, counseling, problem solving methodology, knowledge of available resources. These and other tools are already part of the scouting program and its leader development courses. They are skills that are covered over and over agin in various BSa training courses, print and video resources, Scouting and Boy's Life articles, etc.

 

If you do not believe that these skills can be learned through training, then what are the chances of it being learned through a few anecdotal posts?

 

Why not give the Methods of Scouting their due for what they can help with?

 

And why not just discuss these points without misrepresenting what I write?