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>>When it finally comes to a head the adults, being human, are just not willing to listen to an explanation from the boy who just stepped on their last nerve and is having a run in with a boy that has not caused any trouble at all. It is not fair but it is understandable.

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This is not a habitual problem. THis is his 5th year at camp and the first time he's ever been a problem at camp or just camping. He was wrong, he admitted it, was punished at camp and is now being punished at home for his behavior. Why does more action need to be taken when meetings start again in September when the offense occurred a month earlier? How much more of a beat down do I let my chile endure? He's ready to quit scouts all together because of this week, his bullying from the older boy, and the leaders not listening to him. He is a Life Scout and a Brotherhood OA member.

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Hi Packwife,

 

As a parent, I'd be concerned that the various adult leaders didn't pick up

on the fact that such behavior isn't normal for your son. "Gee, Johnny doesn't

usually say ***** when he's mad".

 

Another point of parental concern is, when does razzing turn into hazing?

We're always reminding the Cubs that what seems like harmless teasing can

easily cross the line. And sometimes, Boy Scouts are just big Cub Scouts

with hormones.

 

NC

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packwife,

 

Your son has already received a stern 'talking to', been subjected to continual threats of his removal from camp, and has apologized for his inappropriate language. Now, he is left to linger for a month to await further disciplinary action. I think he has suffered enough for his poor choice of words.

 

These issues need and should be addressed immediately when they occur. That has happened. Sitting down to rehash it a month later will serve no purpose other than to continue to punish your son.

 

I would call the SM and ask him nicely what specifically he thinks will be accomplished at this sit-down next month, that has not already been done.

 

 

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It may be a good idea for the scout to sit down and collect his thoughts on what he will do in the future, then call the scoutmaster and make an appointment and lay out his action plan, taking control of the situation and acting rather than reacting.

 

I am not sure a call from a parent helps

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I did wonder why the SM didn't realize this is not normal behavior from my "Johnny" and take him aside and discuss this with him. The older boy whom the comment was directed at isn't even in the same patrol as my son. Older boy does like to get things stirred up between the boys but acts innocent when leaders come around. As all of this was addressed at camp and I made my son email the SM, apologize, and promise to never act this way again. I just don't see what the point is to rehash it again in a month. Thanks to everyone.

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Packwife,

 

I agree with you that the issue should be done and over with. It was handled at camp, and that should be the end of it. You tell us that your son is now considering leaving the Scouts. The big question for you to find out the answer to is "why?". Is it because he feels humiliated over the punishment? Is he feeling persecuted because the leaders aren't moving on? Is he feeling harrassed and bullied at this unit and if so, by whom? I've witnessed instances before where a Scout who has been "razzed" by members of his unit, including some of the adults, eventually snaps at another Scout.

 

Talk to the Scoutmaster and find out why he feels it's important they sit down with your son and rehash this incident again - perhaps there is something your son hasn't shared with you. Talk to your son and get more detail about what happened at camp and if he had talked to anyone about what was going on before he laid out the f-bomb.

 

Be prepared to move on to another unit. Your son has already told you he's ready to quit Scouts after this incident - no matter what happens in September, this is going to linger in his mind for some time - he may end up quitting anyway, even if resolved to everyone's satisfaction. If you don't like what you hear from either side, then look for a new unit sooner than later if your son is still interested in Scouts. More importantly, don't wait until September - deal with this now - by September, your son may have already decided to quit for good no matter what happens.

 

As for sending a kid home for using profanity, my opinion is that such an action is a bit extreme. I have little tolerance for zero tolerance policies (yes, I recognize the irony in that) because they don't serve to teach anything (my exception is pointing a weapon at someone, even a "fake" weapon). A Scout drops the f-bomb at camp and ends up being sent home is a Scout now at risk of leaving Scouts altogether. Better the lecture and appropriate punishment (say Latrine Duty or KP for the rest of camp) and keeping the kid in Scouting.

 

CalicoPenn

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To put things in the proper perspective, when one of my Scouts uses the f-word or calls somebody an a** h***, I tell him that if he keeps acting like the Vice President does in public, then maybe it means we can't trust him to take Rifle (or certainly Shotgun) Merit Badges.

 

That kind of language only leads to getting drunk and shooting somebody in the face!

 

I think it is explained in the new edition of The Guide to Safe Scouting near the prohibition on laser tag.

 

Kudu

 

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CalicoPenn,

He's been wanting to find a new troop for a little while. I think he's just using the awful time at camp to make the jump. His troop has really gone downhill in the last 2 years or so. They just aren't as active as they used to be and he's getting frustrated. The SM is AWOL most of the time and meetings are just about social hour for the boys now. So maybe this is a good thing in disguise. I was just hoping him leaving wouldn't have to be over having a bad week at camp.

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Packwife, you know what they say about doors opening and closing in unexpected places? If he's been thinking about switching troops and there are other troops around where he might fit in better, I'd say let him use this opportunity to do it. If he's been in the troop for 5 years then he has a good handle on what he wants and if he's not happy with his current troop then he might as well make the change now, even under less than perfect conditions. And I wish him a better time, either with his new troop or (if he stays) with his current troop.

 

Lisa'bob

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